Convo of my GF and her ex.... I need help (srs) (pic)

[Parallelism]

***** EDIT POST #50 *****


Okay. I'm going to post a picture and I'll give some background.

The messaging is on her ******** and it's a conversation of my current girlfriend (pink) and her ex boyfriend (black). Key-Logger, etc

One night my girlfriend says her ex boyfriend messaged her on ******** and wanted to rekindle a friendship. My current GF told me about this the night it happened and told me she wanted to be friends with him again. Of course, I felt uneasy and told her that from the start.

Their previous relationship lasted 6 months, she said they were both in love, they lived together, etc.

As you can see in the picture, her ex obviously is hitting on my girlfriend and she left that part out. The first message was from 2011 and his response is also 2011. The messages have dates.

Should I be concerned about this? Am I overreacting?

He says " i been thinkin bout the way things used to be and smiling a lot.. the messages before this for instance " and my girlfriend says "glad your still smiling."

My girlfriend does not know I have her info to ********. Please don't Misc-detective me, etc. I need some sound advice and what's the best way to handle the situation? I trust my girlfriend and I don't think she'd cheat, but I'm afraid he's going to "wolf" on our relationship (hit on her, hang around till we get in an argument, etc)



Cliffs:
-Current GF receives messages from her ex via ********
-Tells me she wants to be friends with him
-He starts hitting on her
-GF doesn't tell him to stop, GF doesn't tell him she's with me....

***** EDIT POST #50 *****

[RealTime0275]

It doesn't sound like much. I messaged my ex like two years later when I had another gf. It was an apology kinda like this and she said she's glad I apologized and that I'm happy. She had a bf also. That was it though. Never messages again. If you trust your girl like you say then no worries. She wasn't flirting back anyways.

[ThePoz]

What are you unsure of? There's nothing there. Also why did you have her keylogged already?

[Parallelism]

What are you unsure of? There's nothing there. Also why did you have her keylogged already?

Key logged when I heard she talked to her ex again. I know it's childish of me, but sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me. I'm just unsure of why she would want to talk to this guy or have him as a friend. He has a drug problem (sells too), didn't graduate high school, posts pictures of him vandalizing property. I guess I'm just unsure why my gf would even want him as a friend, it's disgusting.

Good thing to hear I'm slightly overreacting.

[ThePoz]

Key logged when I heard she talked to her ex again. I know it's childish of me, but sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me. I'm just unsure of why she would want to talk to this guy or have him as a friend. He has a drug problem (sells too), didn't graduate high school, posts pictures of him vandalizing property. I guess I'm just unsure why my gf would even want him as a friend, it's disgusting.

Good thing to hear I'm slightly overreacting.

Since you're already snooping you may as well give it a week and see if anything arises from her ********. If nothing that would upset you happens you should really remove the keylogger, forget you ever doubted her and start trusting her.

[Parallelism]

Since you're already snooping you may as well give it a week and see if anything arises from her ********. If nothing that would upset you happens you should really remove the keylogger, forget you ever doubted her and start trusting her.

Agree. I trust her, I just like the reassurance.

[GenderOfPeace]

Agree. I trust her, I just like the reassurance.

mehh... she's not shutting him down... she's saying let's be friends. Is this real life? One can simply not be friends with an ex. especially considering they only dated for 6 months.. lol

Than again, thinking of it, she might just be saying "lets be friends" but not actually be friends with him - my ex did this to me and if i tried to get her to hangout she was like lol no i have a boyfriend. I dunno what type of girl she is, she could be letting him down softy.

[daitrong]

No reason why a girl needs to keep in contact with her ex. It is just a breeding ground for drama in the future.

[Shortofdaybreak]

You keylogged your girl?


Wow.



Inb4trustissues

[truthhurts]

if he tries to chase her and goes needy on her, you're pretty safe assuming she works like every other girl. However if he plays it cool...you may be ffcked.

[Parallelism]

No reason why a girl needs to keep in contact with her ex. It is just a breeding ground for drama in the future.

This. She got jealous when I would talk to my ex (who lives in NY now) and I stopped talking to her because she got jealous... Its a common curtesy thing, there is no need to have an ex as a friend (she did say she wouldn't mind hanging out with him). Just seems to me, if she cared about me, she wouldn't put me in this situation, especially how I stopped talking to my ex because it made her uncomfortable.

[Parallelism]

if he tries to chase her and goes needy on her, you're pretty safe assuming she works like every other girl. However if he plays it cool...you may be ffcked.

This is what I'm worried of. He'll wolf (wait around till we get in an argument and come to her rescue like a beta WK).

This is just unneeded drama. I told her it makes me uncomfortable...

Sorry for the double post, I'm on my iPhone.

[FitnessBlue]

You keylogged your girl?


Wow.



Inb4trustissues

Apparently valid trust issues though. Always trust your gut instinct

[manletgenetics]

Eh she didn't say anything bad really. the guy seems into her for sure, but she seems over him So it's your call but as of now everything seems cool.

[b0yer2]

Doesn't sound like a lot, but I guess you can monitor it a bit and gauge her responses.

[MA5Bergey]

They were in a relationship for six months and she lived with him? Sounds crazy to me, not even touching the issue of talking with her ex bf.

[SwayWay]

simple: tell her she's not allowed to talk to her ex-bf. if you actually had balls and wore the pants in the relationship she would submit intsantly to the boundaries you setup as a man.

[Lottabody]

Okay maybe y'all not reading the same conversation I'm reading but she IS telling him she can't wait to cuddle with him right? Am I missing something?

[daitrong]

By you letting her keep in contact with him, you are basically giving her options to run to when you two hit a rough patch in the relationship. I can guarantee you her ex bf who she's keeping as just "friends" will soon be the guy she runs to when you two break up or argue. Save yourself the drama and set limits right now. IF she does not abide, then leave. Actually, I would leave her just for the conversation alone.

[Haterade~]

Holy fuking fuk, what in the fuking fuk.

I read: OP's post, then the first 2 sentences his GF wrote, then skimmed the responses.

Yeah keylogging is rarely justified, but are you fukers serious?

She WANTS to be "friends" with her ex again, she said something about "love you a lot", AND SHE FUKING CAN'T WAIT TO CUDDLE WITH HIM?

I would drop that bitch in a heartbeat.

[Shortofdaybreak]

Holy fuking fuk, what in the fuking fuk.

I read: OP's post, then the first 2 sentences his GF wrote, then skimmed the responses.

Yeah keylogging is rarely justified, but are you fukers serious?

She WANTS to be "friends" with her ex again, she said something about "love you a lot", AND SHE FUKING CAN'T WAIT TO CUDDLE WITH HIM?

I would drop that bitch in a heartbeat.

The cuddling comment was from over a year ago.

[Haterade~]

The cuddling comment was from over a year ago.

My mistake.

Anyway, read rest of convo... He says, "thinking about the way things used to be", and then she responds by basically reaffirming that comment... He obviously wants her back, and she's clearly pondering it at the least.

[Parallelism]

Okay maybe y'all not reading the same conversation I'm reading but she IS telling him she can't wait to cuddle with him right? Am I missing something?

Yeah, the first 2 messages are from when they were last dating (January of 2011). They just had not messaged each other in a long time. I didn't crop it out to show people that they do have a history...

My mistake.

Anyway, read rest of convo... He says, "thinking about the way things used to be", and then she responds by basically reaffirming that comment... He obviously wants her back, and she's clearly pondering it at the least.

Yeah, that's the problem I'm having. If I got a message from my ex saying how she wanted things to go back to how they were, I'd say "Sorry, I'm with another girl" or "I have a GF"

She even kind of confirmed his feelings by saying something like 'Glad you're still smiling'

simple: tell her she's not allowed to talk to her ex-bf. if you actually had balls and wore the pants in the relationship she would submit intsantly to the boundaries you setup as a man.

Tried this and every time I remotely give her an ultimatum she "breaks up" with me.

I told her that he was trying to just prowl on our relationship and she replies with "You don't know him.... He just wants friends"

[Haterade~]

Yeah, the first 2 messages are from when they were last dating (January of 2011). They just had not messaged each other in a long time. I didn't crop it out to show people that they do have a history...



Yeah, that's the problem I'm having. If I got a message from my ex saying how she wanted things to go back to how they were, I'd say "Sorry, I'm with another girl" or "I have a GF"

She even kind of confirmed his feelings by saying something like 'Glad you're still smiling'



Tried this and every time I remotely give her an ultimatum she "breaks up" with me.

I told her that he was trying to just prowl on our relationship and she replies with "You don't know him.... He just wants friends"

The only thing I can say to argue against my previous comment, would be that certainly sometimes we all have nostalgic moments and have urges to reconnect with people from our past, especially if there was not adequate closure. The urge might pass, but who knows if it will be permanently (unlikely), or just temporarily... Regardless, that convo is not acceptable in my book, but your GF may just be kind of "going along" with his convo in order to receive her closure...

Also, she mentions she misses her good conversation or something, maybe that's something more she wants from you.

[Caroni]

This is the beginning of the end.

Sorry pal.

[daitrong]

Tried this and every time I remotely give her an ultimatum she "breaks up" with me.

I told her that he was trying to just prowl on our relationship and she replies with "You don't know him.... He just wants friends"

Her response to your rules should not affect your decision. You set limits and rules in the relationship, if she does not respect this then it is your duty to find someone who does. A women does not leave a man who is strong in his convictions and path in life. You are not this man, thus is the reason why she can so non-nonchalantly break up whenever you give her an ultimatum. A girl should never feel 100% certain that their man will always be around.

[SwayWay]

Tried this and every time I remotely give her an ultimatum she "breaks up" with me.

I told her that he was trying to just prowl on our relationship and she replies with "You don't know him.... He just wants friends"

She "breaks up" because she has no respect for you or what you have to say, sorry but you're pussy whipped. Thats like saying my dog pissed and shat on the carpet after i asked it not to. Guess what?? You didn't train your dog to see you as the alpha of the pack and now it runs the household, does whatever it want just like your gf does whatever she wants. For your own sake, breakup and work on making yourself a better man. Someone who women respect, follow and trust to submit too.

Her response to your rules should not affect your decision. You set limits and rules in the relationship, if she does not respect this then it is your duty to find someone who does. A women does not leave a man who is strong in his convictions and path in life. You are not this man, thus is the reason why she can so non-nonchalantly break up whenever you give her an ultimatum. A girl should never feel 100% certain that their man will always be around.

REPPED GREAT ADVICE.

[deltsbrah]

lolwut, what you posted seems like nothing, strong having a keylogger on your gf when you "trust" her, dont bring it up now coz she'll phuck your sh*t sideways on not trusting her. If it bugs you that much see what she says in response etc and then decide what both their intentions are.

[Parallelism]

lolwut, what you posted seems like nothing, strong having a keylogger on your gf when you "trust" her, dont bring it up now coz she'll phuck your sh*t sideways on not trusting her. If it bugs you that much see what she says in response etc and then decide what both their intentions are.

Yeah, I'm just playing it day by day and seeing how they act.

My GF won't be into him like that, but he will wait around which pisses me off.

[daitrong]

Yeah, I'm just playing it day by day and seeing how they act.

My GF won't be into him like that, but he will wait around which pisses me off.

SO, instead of setting the boundaries from the start and begin to develop trust, you choose to let her do as she pleases while you sit back and spy on her every move? WTF? IF you cannot trust your girl you need to leave her, no wonder she is seeking the attention of other men. She is dating a loser. A girl who is f*cking madly in love with you will do g'damn anything to keep you...do you not realize that? We all know who wears the pants in your relationship.