Talk about a wake up call.. hit a girl today.

[grace_ou]

I turned a corner today in my truck today and BAM! I hit a cute little collage girl who had started to cross the street. Lucky for me she's (and her) she wasn't seriously hurt. I did however freak a bit, mostly cause I don't think it would have happened if I weren't so tired!

I sleep 5 to 6 hours a night if I'm lucky, I train 2 hours a day (which is an hour short os what I should be doing) I have 2 kids, one homeschools, and I have the responsibility of taking care of a my kids Grandmother and my nephew.. I have school work, cooking, cleaning, homework..

As much as I like to think I'm superman how the hell am I suppose to balance all of this?

I tried talking to the other sons father and saying look I need help.. I'm a little stressed ect and all I get is "Oh God not this agin.." (past problem with PSTD) but I'm not depressed, I'm not having panic attacks, I see none of the problems or symptoms that I had with PSTD.. none. But every time I try to say that I get the eyeroll sorta thing and I just sorta get pushed to the side to handle this all myself.

How the **** am I suppose to do all this.. can someone clone me ...please?

[Old-Time-Lifter]

Sorry to hear you're so stressed. But glad to hear the gal wasn't seriously hurt.

[redheadlaw7]

I turned a corner today in my truck today and BAM! I hit a cute little collage girl who had started to cross the street. Lucky for me she's (and her) she wasn't seriously hurt. I did however freak a bit, mostly cause I don't think it would have happened if I weren't so tired!

I sleep 5 to 6 hours a night if I'm lucky, I train 2 hours a day (which is an hour short os what I should be doing) I have 2 kids, one homeschools, and I have the responsibility of taking care of a my kids Grandmother and my nephew.. I have school work, cooking, cleaning, homework..

As much as I like to think I'm superman how the hell am I suppose to balance all of this?

I tried talking to the other sons father and saying look I need help.. I'm a little stressed ect and all I get is "Oh God not this agin.." (past problem with PSTD) but I'm not depressed, I'm not having panic attacks, I see none of the problems or symptoms that I had with PSTD.. none. But every time I try to say that I get the eyeroll sorta thing and I just sorta get pushed to the side to handle this all myself.

How the **** am I suppose to do all this.. can someone clone me ...please?

Hey, we're the same age and I'm a mother of two, part time lawyer, stay at home mom, trying to go back to school. I know what it's like to be stressed and frazzled. I've also gone through horrible depression and anxiety. Do you have a good support group to help you out? Do you have someone to talk to about everything? Are you taking anything?

Sorry 'bout all the questions...I'm kinda new here and I'm just trying to be helpful. ;-)


Is anything going to come out of you hitting this girl or did she just walk away from it and that was it?

[tempephoenix]

Well thank god no one was hurt...thats the big thing!
I know how you feel and you WILL be okay. Set your mind to it...Rome wasn't built in a day right? I get like this at least once a week - LOL! Work, kiddo, mom responsibilities, gym, household chores, bills, training my horse, spending time with kiddo and BF...it gets overwhelming at times.
I take a night every week for myself..where I'm not Doc and I'm not mom - I'm just me. My BF and I get some dinner and drinks and just relax and talk. Then Sunday is my sacred day with Kiddo. This helps me to structure things out. Now unexpected things come up - I don't sleep either which of course can add to stress. I sleep in 2hr intervals - its just the way I am. I've been a single mom for 15 years so I have become a master at multi-tasking.
Just know you're not alone..just take a deep breath and if you can only accomplish so much in a day..so be it. Cheer up...you'll be fine!!

[grace_ou]

Hey, we're the same age and I'm a mother of two, part time lawyer, stay at home mom, trying to go back to school. I know what it's like to be stressed and frazzled. I've also gone through horrible depression and anxiety. Do you have a good support group to help you out? Do you have someone to talk to about everything? Are you taking anything?

Sorry 'bout all the questions...I'm kinda new here and I'm just trying to be helpful. ;-)


Is anything going to come out of you hitting this girl or did she just walk away from it and that was it?

No support, just me. I'm not really the kind of person to ask for help and lean on other people ya know. But honestly it's not so much the stress that's getting to me as much as the awareness that I have to find a way to manage all ot this with out killing anyone! LOL

She wasn't hurt .. I was at a stop and she started across the road just as I started to pull around the corner .. so I sorta just bumped scared the **** out of her. I'm sure nothing will come of it. I just prefer not to run over little girls. lol

[grace_ou]

Well thank god no one was hurt...thats the big thing!
I know how you feel and you WILL be okay. Set your mind to it...Rome wasn't built in a day right? I get like this at least once a week - LOL! Work, kiddo, mom responsibilities, gym, household chores, bills, training my horse, spending time with kiddo and BF...it gets overwhelming at times.
I take a night every week for myself..where I'm not Doc and I'm not mom - I'm just me. My BF and I get some dinner and drinks and just relax and talk. Then Sunday is my sacred day with Kiddo. This helps me to structure things out. Now unexpected things come up - I don't sleep either which of course can add to stress. I sleep in 2hr intervals - its just the way I am. I've been a single mom for 15 years so I have become a master at multi-tasking.
Just know you're not alone..just take a deep breath and if you can only accomplish so much in a day..so be it. Cheer up...you'll be fine!!

Normally on right on top .. I can multitask with the best of them, but this is more then I think one person can handle... or should.

LOL... I'll have to finish writing the post later.. be back..

[VoxExMachina]

I'm not sure I can really offer great advice, but whenever I feel that I'm getting overloaded to the point where it's driving me nuts, I just try to sit back and figure out what I really need to be doing, and what I can either stop or find an alternative solution for. No matter how much you think you absolutely need to do, at some point you can only do so much.

Maybe write everything you need to do on a weekly basis down on a list, and then prioritize it. Focus on the stuff that's the most important and if you don't get to some of the less important things (cleaning, whatever) well, then you just don't get to them.

There is only so much any one person can do, and only so many hours in the day. Do what you can do, and then don't stress about the rest. Set yourself free from that which you cannot control.

[redheadlaw7]

No support, just me. I'm not really the kind of person to ask for help and lean on other people ya know. But honestly it's not so much the stress that's getting to me as much as the awareness that I have to find a way to manage all ot this with out killing anyone! LOL

She wasn't hurt .. I was at a stop and she started across the road just as I started to pull around the corner .. so I sorta just bumped scared the **** out of her. I'm sure nothing will come of it. I just prefer not to run over little girls. lol

You do have a lot on your plate! I don't know where I heard this before...maybe on Oprah or something...but you have a cup filled up with what you can give out to other people, whether it be love, attention, caretaking...but you must also take care of yourself with what is in your cup. If you keep emptying it out and giving it to other people and you're not filling it back up with doing things for yourself...you are going to burn out and you aren't going to have much of anything left to give to others. You need to take care of yourself first...so that you can continue to to take care of others.

My mom has been taking care of people like her dying mom and dying father up until the point they both passed away, and is now taking care of an ailing sister and brother in law. She is aging WAY too quickly and never does anything for herself. She is haggered and run down. It breaks my heart.

[grace_ou]

You do have a lot on your plate! I don't know where I heard this before...maybe on Oprah or something...but you have a cup filled up with what you can give out to other people, whether it be love, attention, caretaking...but you must also take care of yourself with what is in your cup. If you keep emptying it out and giving it to other people and you're not filling it back up with doing things for yourself...you are going to burn out and you aren't going to have much of anything left to give to others. You need to take care of yourself first...so that you can continue to to take care of others.

My mom has been taking care of people like her dying mom and dying father up until the point they both passed away, and is now taking care of an ailing sister and brother in law. She is aging WAY too quickly and never does anything for herself. She is haggered and run down. It breaks my heart.

Ok I can't answer everything right now cause I'm late for training as it is.. and sorry I'll have to post this in pieces people..

The cliifs of it though... My childrens grandfather recently died and I had gone to Washington to take care of him at home. When he passed away I brought back with me to where I live his wife (who has alot of medical problems) and a 16 year old who was living with them. I just this week got them moved into their own house, now her daughter, my nephews mother will be moving in with them in about 2 months. In the mean time it's going to fall to me to make sure they are takin care of along with my family. Which means cooking and cleaning for 2 households plus she has a lot of doctora appts ect.. and I have I have full time life of my own with kids ect..

What I need are some actual solutions or maybe some ideas as to how to manage things.I can will list of these problems so maybe ya'll can help. I'm sure alot of the ov35 has had to deal with some of things before.

Unfortunately I'm gonna have to post in pieces! Sorry.

Like how to manage meals for 2 households.. How to manage her meds if she's not living with me anymore.. ect.. I'll post more but I have to get to training right now.

[phikappa]

First off, you don't need to train for 2 hours a day. Feeling guilty about not training for 3 hours a day is just making things worse for you. Find ways to reduce the amount of time spent in the gym. Trust me, it can be done.

[redheadlaw7]

First off, you don't need to train for 2 hours a day. Feeling guilty about not training for 3 hours a day is just making things worse for you. Find ways to reduce the amount of time spent in the gym. Trust me, it can be done.

Yeah...and it is possible to "train" a bit outside of the gym. I know that I use time in between commercials or while cooking to do dips in the corner of the kitchen counter or on the coffee table. And you can always drop and do some pushups when you get a chance. I think bodyweight exercises are very underrated.

[grace_ou]

First off, you don't need to train for 2 hours a day. Feeling guilty about not training for 3 hours a day is just making things worse for you. Find ways to reduce the amount of time spent in the gym. Trust me, it can be done.

Yeah...and it is possible to "train" a bit outside of the gym. I know that I use time in between commercials or while cooking to do dips in the corner of the kitchen counter or on the coffee table. And you can always drop and do some pushups when you get a chance. I think bodyweight exercises are very underrated.

This is my job.. training isn't negotiable. They are being very understanding at the moment because of the circumstances. But I train pl and sm body weight exercises aren't going to work for that. I do have the basics at home oly benches squat racks ect.. but really I can only do accessory work at home, which I do sometimes.. I need that training time an hour of that is recovery and stretching work. I still have alot to learn so trainings a bit long. But obviously I have other work related things besides trianing.

[redheadlaw7]

This is my job.. training isn't negotiable. They are being very understanding at the moment because of the circumstances. But I train pl and sm body weight exercises aren't going to work for that. I do have the basics at home oly benches squat racks ect.. but really I can only do accessory work at home, which I do sometimes.. I need that training time an hour of that is recovery and stretching work. I still have alot to learn so trainings a bit long. But obviously I have other work related things besides trianing.

So you're a trainer? I looked at your profile and it says that you're a powerlifter. Do you work on top of that?

[grace_ou]

I'm not sure I can really offer great advice, but whenever I feel that I'm getting overloaded to the point where it's driving me nuts, I just try to sit back and figure out what I really need to be doing, and what I can either stop or find an alternative solution for. No matter how much you think you absolutely need to do, at some point you can only do so much.

Maybe write everything you need to do on a weekly basis down on a list, and then prioritize it. Focus on the stuff that's the most important and if you don't get to some of the less important things (cleaning, whatever) well, then you just don't get to them.

There is only so much any one person can do, and only so many hours in the day. Do what you can do, and then don't stress about the rest. Set yourself free from that which you cannot control.

I have started scheduling everything the best I can, like all three kids start school at a different time and place so like example:
kid 1 I take to school at 7:45
kid 2 I take to school at 8:30
Kid 3 homeschools and his day starts at 9:00 ...

I can break up my training into sections that's not a problem and other responsibilities.. where I have the biggest problems is I need to figure out ways I can sorta condense some.. I swear I will never get a complete thought here.. LOL ..

[grace_ou]

So you're a trainer? I looked at your profile and it says that you're a powerlifter. Do you work on top of that?

No I'm not a trainer .. I work for research company in athletics .. (supplements) ect.. basically I get paid to workout provide feedback sell a few supps ya know that kinda thing.. .. LOL It's a nice job right?

I was an endurance athlete I'm in the process of becoming a powerlifter and strongman.

[*STEVE*]

How the **** am I suppose to do all this.. can someone clone me ...please?

If I could figure out how to clone you I wouldnt be on the comp .... just sayin !

[redheadlaw7]

No I'm not a trainer .. I work for research company in athletics .. (supplements) ect.. basically I get paid to workout provide feedback sell a few supps ya know that kinda thing.. .. LOL It's a nice job right?

I was an endurance athlete I'm in the process of becoming a powerlifter and strongman.

That sounds like a great job! How do you find something like that.

And good Lord...you are a saint for trying to do all of this.

[grace_ou]

If I could figure out how to clone you I wouldnt be on the comp .... just sayin !

When you figure out how I would like her to come do my dishes and laundry right now!

LMAO! I went into the gym today and there was a bottle of Feebreze sports .. odor killer stuff hanging on my locker!! I think maybe the other girls are trying to tell me something!! It was an apple I left in there, jus so ya'll know!!

That sounds like a great job! How do you find something like that.

And good Lord...you are a saint for trying to do all of this.

It's a nice job I'll admit.. who else gets to sports massages as a part of job!! There's not really any money in pl an sm when you start. I'm just fortunate enough that already had sponsors ect.. coming into it from my other sports and so that helped me alot,, I've kinda fallin into a nice little niche I suppose. It doesn't pay alot but it allows me to train and and head toward my goals while still bringing in some money. What's really cool is working with sup companies means hanging out on bb.com is considered work!! LOL

LMAO more necessity then sainthood!

I also have a small home business which allows me to work around everything..

[themyth2009]

Sounds like the 16 year old needs to step up and help out. Make the meals, give grandmom her meds etc. This is a 16 year old were talking about not a 10 year old. Does not step up I would say get the fck out.

How old are your kids? Maybe they can do the laundry, etc.

Only soultion I could think of. Just so many hours in a day.

[*STEVE*]

When you figure out how I would like her to come do my dishes and laundry right now!

lulz

[redheadlaw7]

Sounds like the 16 year old needs to step up and help out. Make the meals, give grandmom her meds etc. This is a 16 year old were talking about not a 10 year old. Does not step up I would say get the fck out.

How old are your kids? Maybe they can do the laundry, etc.

Only soultion I could think of. Just so many hours in a day.

Lol. I agree! I have a 9 year old and she acts almost like a babysitter for our 2 year old. She's expected to help clean and cook. Even at that age they are able to take on way more responsibility than we give the lil buggers. I know that if my 9 year old can program an i-pod...she can work a microwave and a vacuum cleaner. ;-)

[TraumaMamma]

Oh girlie, I know what is it like to drag ass, have PSTD and be overwhelmed.

I am a paramedic, RN student, and 911 operator. (One of my calls was on E! network this week...talk about PSTD).

Sleep is always the one thing we all think we can shortchange to gain more time "doing" but in the end we suffer for it. I end up working afternoons at 911, getting stuck for a nite shift as someone calls off and then coming back in the next day for another afternoon shift. Sleep deprivation sucks.

Priorities are a great idea, as someone posted here. Your health and wellness should come first. We are not superwoman, we cannot do it all. I am much like you, Type A, never ask for help and just try and do everything. I multitask at home, work etc. My mind is always racing.

One of our paramedic sayings before thinking about charging into a chaotic scene is:

"If I am going to get hurt or killed I am not going to do any good for anyone." (or something to that effect)

I try and meditate often. Usually in the tanning bed. It usually seems to clear my mind and get my head on straight for the day.

I am trying to live it the moment as well. Cesare Milan is right. Live in the NOW!

I admit I didn't read all the posts you put up, I will tommorrow, as I am at work right now.

My thought for you is, right now, take care of YOU first. The rest will fall into place.

Edited to add

A few ideas for you, muh love.

There is some home health nursing programs that insurance may pay for, to come help out your grandmother, making sure she is taking her meds, eating, etc.

Meals on wheels may be an option as well. She gets some grub delivered, and she won't have to wait on your schedule to prepare something for her. Plus, they are checking in on her as well.

[grace_ou]

Sounds like the 16 year old needs to step up and help out. Make the meals, give grandmom her meds etc. This is a 16 year old were talking about not a 10 year old. Does not step up I would say get the fck out.

How old are your kids? Maybe they can do the laundry, etc.

Only soultion I could think of. Just so many hours in a day.

Ya know while they were staying with me I made him (me nephew) help out,, but I just moved them into there own house and seriously I don't think he will. He's been a very well behaved kid. He's good around me but he talks to his grandmother bad.. like very disrespectful and I think that's not gonna happen. I can't control his behavior outside my house. Honestly he should be living alone with his Grandmother but that's not my choice.

My kids help out alot like my oldest (15) he helps her with lunch, meds and laundry.. but there only so much I want to ask out him.

[grace_ou]

Oh girlie, I know what is it like to drag ass, have PSTD and be overwhelmed.

I am a paramedic, RN student, and 911 operator. (One of my calls was on E! network this week...talk about PSTD).

Sleep is always the one thing we all think we can shortchange to gain more time "doing" but in the end we suffer for it. I end up working afternoons at 911, getting stuck for a nite shift as someone calls off and then coming back in the next day for another afternoon shift. Sleep deprivation sucks.

Priorities are a great idea, as someone posted here. Your health and wellness should come first. We are not superwoman, we cannot do it all. I am much like you, Type A, never ask for help and just try and do everything. I multitask at home, work etc. My mind is always racing.

One of our paramedic sayings before thinking about charging into a chaotic scene is:

"If I am going to get hurt or killed I am not going to do any good for anyone." (or something to that effect)

I try and meditate often. Usually in the tanning bed. It usually seems to clear my mind and get my head on straight for the day.

I am trying to live it the moment as well. Cesare Milan is right. Live in the NOW!

I admit I didn't read all the posts you put up, I will tommorrow, as I am at work right now.

My thought for you is, right now, take care of YOU first. The rest will fall into place.

I'm not sure I even read all the post I put up yet!! LOL

I working on a schedule now maybe that will help. Also I guess making meals for everyone in say one day like Sunday will help .. cause then I can like leave meals she microwave and I want have to go over and cook everyday.

[grace_ou]

Edited to add

A few ideas for you, muh love.

There is some home health nursing programs that insurance may pay for, to come help out your grandmother, making sure she is taking her meds, eating, etc.

Meals on wheels may be an option as well. She gets some grub delivered, and she won't have to wait on your schedule to prepare something for her. Plus, they are checking in on her as well.

I need to def look into a nurse going by to check on her.. maybe help with meds and stuff.

Her daughter will be here in 2 months she's (military) going to be living with them. So mostly I just need to work this for about 2 months. JUst get through things the best I can.

(This is a very long story.. lol )

[TraumaMamma]

I need to def look into a nurse going by to check on her.. maybe help with meds and stuff.

Her daughter will be here in 2 months she's (military) going to be living with them. So mostly I just need to work this for about 2 months. JUst get through things the best I can.

(This is a very long story.. lol )

Not sure where you are at, but here are a few in your state.

http://www.yellowbook.com/yellow-pag...ty%2c+oklahoma

They will be a big help and can assess her in ways that you may not notice as you live with her and changes are more subtle when you seen someone every day.

Hell, BadBull says I never compliment him on how big he is getting. It's so gradual, unless I look at a before pic, it's hard to notice. Working opposite shifts helps too. I hardly see him.

I digress.

You're a good person, Grace, doing all you are for others.

Be good to yourself, too, darlin'!

[GnomusMaximus]

Hey there! First off glad you and her are OK. Second, sorry I didn't see this earlier today.

3 hours/day? You ain't doing AR's anymore. I'll bet Mariusz doesn't train that much. As for all the other stuff, PM me if I can help....oh, and I been XC skiing a lot this winter. My heart can actually beat fast again!!

[grace_ou]

Hey there! First off glad you and her are OK. Second, sorry I didn't see this earlier today.

3 hours/day? You ain't doing AR's anymore. I'll bet Mariusz doesn't train that much. As for all the other stuff, PM me if I can help....oh, and I been XC skiing a lot this winter. My heart can actually beat fast again!!

I normally train about 3 hours a day, but 1 hour of that is stretching (yoga) and then I have lifting, grip work, and snatch practice, I'm aslo learning alot of new lifts. So all that takes up time. It's not all spent heavy lifting, but it comes out to about 3 hours a day.

Haven't done any that lately, but I did go ice biking a few weeks back. We had a great little ice storm for biking in!

[crouton]

I haven't read everything so some others may have posted the same ideas.

As far as 2 households, why not cook ahead a couple of days and take them the extra meals? Like make 2 lasagnas and carry one to them. If you don't have a crockpot, get two - one for each household - and you can teach the older child how to use it. Do some very simple meals / casseroles and try to cook ahead for the freezer.

Some senior centers offer help with rides to appointments, so check with the senior center in your area. They may also have a meal delivery service for lunches. You may have to get home health care for her in order to check on her medicines and make sure everything is going well.

Could the kids that go to school take the bus instead of having you take them? Or can you meet with another parent that lives nearby and goes to the same area and arrange to take turns with a carpool? You drive their kids for a week and they drive your kids for a week?

I guess you'll just have to streamline as best you can for the next two months and try to plan ahead. Use some of the home health services as a respite for you because it sounds like you need some rest and a little time to relax as well.

I also work and homeschool so I know it can be difficult.

[GnomusMaximus]

I normally train about 3 hours a day, but 1 hour of that is stretching (yoga) and then I have lifting, grip work, and snatch practice, I'm aslo learning alot of new lifts. So all that takes up time. It's not all spent heavy lifting, but it comes out to about 3 hours a day.

Haven't done any that lately, but I did go ice biking a few weeks back. We had a great little ice storm for biking in!

huhuhuh....you said "snatch practice"....huhuhuhuhu.....