Beginner advice

[Dakethemuss]

I wrote this for a few of my friends who were interested in beginning working out, i tried to make it interesting to read. I've had some good feedback so i thought i'd share it with the Teen forum. Any constructive criticism/thoughts? Cheers.

Hello there fellow brothers of the Steel table. Ironius and Steelopolypse have looked upon you and deemed you worthy.. From humble beginnings you shall start, upon your frame an empire shall be built, a sacred site of pure beautiful power. The temple of steel has been rebuilt, and the Iron Brotherhood shall reign supreme yet again. Do not waste idol time worshipping false idols and deities. For YOU are your own god! Take control. Witness the power within. And you will become.. IMMORTAL.

Each workout you don?t want to be in there for more than an hourish. 45 mins is good enough to work your muscles. You have to make sure you Warm up before you workout as well, THIS IS IMPORTANT. All a warm up is a light stretch before your workout and then a couple of warm up sets before you do big exercises. For example warm up with 20 kg for a few sets of bench press before you go heavy. Try doing this with the compound exercises.

In-between sets of a big exercise for e.g. Bench press, or squat. You want to aim for 2-3 mins rest in-between sets max. Other smaller exercises a minute max. A good tip is to walk in with I-pod. Metal play list slamming. Get in. Do each exercise with minimal rest time. Do your workout. And leave. Rip dick son.

So the main thing to remember is to rest a lot, and STRICT form. I?m talking. Dumbbell curl. Legs PLANTED. Shoulder width apart. Palms facing inwards dumbbell firmly held. Back straight. Raise right arm, ELBOW 100% still. BANG. UP. BANG. DOWN. Even pace. Left arm. Right arm. Etc. A good tip is to THINK about the muscle you are using. ? Ok I am using my Bicep to lift this heavy mother****er. BANG. BICEP. Not. BANG, TRICEP, QUAD, BACK, DELT, BICEP, CALVES, SOMEONE ELSES BACK, MOMENTUM?. Think about the muscle you are using. It?s easy to go ? hey i'm squatting 150kg. But i?m only going down 1 inch. Thumbs up ****head, you win the wanker award. The guy squatting 80kg to parallel beats you times infinity. It?s a waste of time, and can lead to injuries. You can do cheat reps, but don?t worry about this when your just starting out.

The first couple of weeksish. Take it real easy. Talk to the people at the gym if you have any questions. I?m sure they?ll take you through all the proper form and whatnot and the machines so that will help a lot. Another thing, try shy away from using machines too much. You want to be using free weights for the majority of your exercises, simply because you use stabilizer muscles, and its better for building your strength, another thing. Don?t use the Smith machine for benching. The smith machine is the bench press thing where it has the supports holding the bar. It?s much better to use the normal bench. People are like ? oi I bench 150kg man i?m swole as man, check ma engorged stimulated fibrez? then you say oi sup bench 90kg with free weights. And they can?t even get half a rep.

NOW Your probly saying ? oi brah what bout ****in abs and cardio ****? well. Your legs will be fairly sore for a few months lol, my advice would be to try and get 2 or 3 20-30 minute runs, swims, walks, treadmills, bikes, etc in a week. Also you will be burning a ****load of calories just pumping iron. Maybe go for a jog after you work out. Cardio has to fit in with how you feel and what you?re doing pretty much. Try average 2 or 3 20-30 mins a week like I said. Now abs. For abs you should do whats called Instinct training. That?s were you say ? sweet, gonna do these sit-ups, then gonna do these ones, then this, that etc? don?t have to have a strict plan. So for example. 3 sets of crunches to fail, 3 sets of oblique sit-ups to fail, 3 sets of leg raises to fail, mix it up. Don?t worry about getting a 6 pack. That comes later. Right now you must be thinking ? build the chest, shoulders, arms, back and legs up ? and work abs whenever they?re not sore pretty much. If you want to train just for abs. Do this split.

Day 1: 1-hour cardio. Instinct abs training.
Day 2: high intensity interval training 1 hour
Day 3: Weighted Abs work
Day 4: HIIT 1 hour
Day 5: 1-hour light cardio, Abs work.

And eat only lettuce and carrots. Then you will look like a stick with abs. Like im talking, go outside pick up a stick, not a tree trunk a stick. And draw abs on it. **** that, go back outside find the biggest mother****in tree you can find, then punch the **** out of it, Big ass mother****er doesn?t feel pain. That will be you.

After a 3 or 4 weeks once you start getting used to the exercises and whatnot. This is when you start pumping it up. You WILL be a lot stronger after a month you?ll look at what you started lifting and say ? wtf why was I gay?? and start pumping out twice what you were lifting. This is what is called Progressive loading. You HAVE to progressively load to continue to build muscle. When you start going up in weight make sure you don?t go from curling 1 kg to curling 3000 kg, cos your form will start to suck. Take it easy go as heavy as possible with strict form. Reason I?m saying after 3 or 4 weeks is because your body will start to get used to the new training your doing it?ll say ? hmm, sweet McDonalds. Wait. Wut? Lift this heavy ****!? WTF that ****ING HURTS. Oww? ok ok, rebuild those muscles? rest and rebuild? sweet Mc Donald?s WAIT WHAT OWW YOUR ****ING THOSE MUSCLSE UP AGAIN!?! WHAT!? Ok sweet, rebuild bigger and stronger this time? Mc Dona? **** McDonald?s, lets **** some muss up!? you?ll slowly get used to it and after you get through the noob beginner stage you can start focusing on lifting as heavy as poss for 6-8 reps.

The most important thing is to not give up after a few sessions. This is also one of the hardest things to do. DO NOT EXPEXT QUICK RESULTS. Once you stick it out till you start seeing results it will become easier and easier to motivate yourself to workout. Stay persistant. It is a long and slow process and there is no shortcut. Only hardwork, so go swallow some diamonds and drink some concrete and harden the **** up. Punch some holes in your wall, break some of your stuff, smash your head into a concrete wall, just dont stop stimulating dat der muss. You will see results.

NOW. Your gains will be NOTHING if you don?t eat and sleep good enough. If you are 110% in the gym, then go home and eat 10 mc balls burgers, and 110 ThickDickinmymouth shakes then your ****in yourself. Same goes if you go 110% in the gym come home, and go to sleep 5 days later. To get results you need to be first of all eating enough. Second of all eating good and healthy, and third of all you need to get enough sleep. You must try and aim for as much protein as possible, medium amount of carbo?s for awesome energy and bit less fat than carbo's. Try and eat regular meals throughout the day. If you make a conscious note each day to have some protein in each meal, not eat TOO much in a serving and get a diet coke instead of a 100% fat coke then you?ll be on the right track. Aim for 8 hours sleep.

Now supplements. If anyone says to you ? oi is you on protein?? punch him or her in the dick, or vagina. Or both. ON protein is stupid, because EVERYONE IS ON PROTEIN. Everyone eats protein in there diet. Protein is simply a source of energy. A Protein SUPPLEMENT. Is exactly that. A supplement to your diet. I would recommend a protein supplement because it is an easy relatively cheap way to get more protein in your diet. Just have a post-workout shake and that?s a good 20-30g of extra protein in the day. Protein won?t give you instant results or increase your lifts. Because all it is is a source of energy found in food. Another good supplement you could consider is a good multivitamin, just for general well being and whatnot. Once you start getting abit more into it and more familiar with lifting you can look at a creatine supplement. Creatine monohydrate is made by the body and found in red meat and pretty much lets your muscles use energy more. If you were interested in that after a few months you must do more research.

Don?t worry about what your lifting, if captain dicksuck walks in and starts putting up 120 kg squats and your doing 40kg squats, who gives a dickpull!? Noone does. If he looks at you and has a look of ? pff I lift more than that? you look at him and say ? just you wait dicksuck? couple of months when your putting up 80, he looks at you and says ? nice progress brah? then he sucks your dick. srs. Everyone starts somewhere. Don?t worry about what others are doing or lifting. You?ll get a lot more respect if you walk into that gym put out a solid workout with sweet form and leave than if you tried lifting too much with bad form just cos someone else is lifting that. Go in Focused on your workout. Get it done, get out.

Get a gym bag, put some deodorant in it, a towel (take with you and wipe sweat off you/machine in gym) gym clothes, Energy drink, to have while you workout, any supplements you have if you decide to get some, and take a little book and a pen. In this book you will write down what time you start your work out. What exercises you do. How many reps you do. What weight you use. And when you finish your workout. This will help look at progress and keeps you motivated. You don?t have to walk around filling it out, fill it out when you get home or after your workout.

Anyway brah, any questions just ask me. Work hard, stay motivated/dedicated and in a few months people will be like ? hey what the **** that manbeast is massive/ripped!? then you?ll flex your jaw, look at them and say, ? Sup son? You miring my mountainous pec?s, my steel glutes and cavernous definition? Mad cos my 18 inchers cut like diamonds are styling on you? You should be son. My presence makes females orgasm repeatedly, turns grown men gay, and strikes fear and awe in the masses. I am known as Steelpec, Man controller, The stimulator and the Muss maker. You are but an inferior being, the bane of society. Bow to me son. And witness evolutions outcome."
Peace and GL

Dake the muss.

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