i know this subject has been beaten to death but...

[fitfanatic123]

i'm needing a little re-assurance... i've been feeling really intimidated in the weight area lately. i've done pretty good the past few years not giving a crap about who's there and what not and just focusing on myself and doing my thing. but the past few months there's been a group of guys there that are just extremely obnoxious, and for whatever reason they really intimidate me and bug me. i guess i feel like people give off "vibes" or "energy" and i just feel like they think i shouldn't be down there (i could be wrong of course)... the weight room is actually downstairs. upstairs is the cardio and a few machines and light dumbbells. so unfortunately i have to go to a whole secluded section of the gym to use the power rack and stuff. it's so nice and peaceful when this group isn't there but lately they have been there at the same time as me. i'm also usually the only girl down there so it just adds to the intimidation.

currently trying to find a way to get over this. i was honestly thinking of switching back to going in the mornings to avoid these people. but that's ridiculous and i don't want them to "win" lol... what do you guys do or think to get over this kind of thinking.

[LunaLifts]

i guess i feel like people give off "vibes" or "energy" and i just feel like they think i shouldn't be down there (i could be wrong of course)....

Actually, some research suggests that you do give off certain vibes that can effect how approachable you are, how people act toward you etc. For example, you have the alpha types who just command respect walking into a room, while you also have the people who are more insecure, and it's obvious to others who would seek to take advantage of that. Some people just love finding people who throw off that vibe of "I'm uncomfortable" because they know they can, in short, be a d!ck.

In the extreme cases, people will look for self-conscious, clearly insecure, more "submissive" women to form abusive relationships with, or even assault. Not that that would happen in your gym, or to you! Just an example that people can sense another person's pride (or lack there of), or sense how they come off in general, and some people will be d!cks.

You gotta walk in there like you don't give too fluffs, and act the part. Pop in your headphones, and go do you. When someone interrupts, act like a turd just approached the queen, like "bitch, did I say I wanted your worthless opinion, back to your dwellings, peasant." Make a stand that you're not there to get pushed around and eventually they'll get bored of it. Don't get into drawn out fights, just make it clear they aren't worth your time. I know that's hard when you feel intimidated (I know very, very, much, lol), but if you want to beat them, fake it 'til you make it as they say.

[kimm4]

Why are you so focused on other people? You need to get a grip and switch the focus back to you. Go in with your blinders on and crush your fukin workouts period the end!

The day I ever let anyone intimidate at the gym would be the day I quit...and that would never happen.

[fitfanatic123]

Actually, some research suggests that you do give off certain vibes that can effect how approachable you are, how people act toward you etc. For example, you have the alpha types who just command respect walking into a room, while you also have the people who are more insecure, and it's obvious to others who would seek to take advantage of that. Some people just love finding people who throw off that vibe of "I'm uncomfortable" because they know they can, in short, be a d!ck.

In the extreme cases, people will look for self-conscious, clearly insecure, more "submissive" women to form abusive relationships with, or even assault. Not that that would happen in your gym, or to you! Just an example that people can sense another person's pride (or lack there of), or sense how they come off in general, and some people will be d!cks.

You gotta walk in there like you don't give too fluffs, and act the part. Pop in your headphones, and go do you. When someone interrupts, act like a turd just approached the queen, like "bitch, did I say I wanted your worthless opinion, back to your dwellings, peasant." Make a stand that you're not there to get pushed around and eventually they'll get bored of it. Don't get into drawn out fights, just make it clear they aren't worth your time. I know that's hard when you feel intimidated (I know very, very, much, lol), but if you want to beat them, fake it 'til you make it as they say.

haha back to your dwellings peasant... yeah i probably just need a mantra tell myself going into it so i have to think like that.... glad you agree about the "vibes" thing though because i feel like most people don't agree with that. thanks

[sy2502]

If there are people at the gym who are rude and obnoxious, or make you feel very uncomfortable to the point you'd rather not use that part of the gym, you can always talk to management. Just make sure it's not all in your head first.

Other than that, sorry but you are the one that needs to get over your "bad vibe" stuff. We can't do it for you.

[melDorado]

If they are average chad male type of gym goers who skip leg day in favour of 136 sets of shoulder press and curls then you will probably be able to outsquat them within weeks. Then you will be the intimidating one

[chamelious]

Do you wear headphones in the gym? If not, i would do that and just try and re-focus your attention and effort inwards. As much as possible i try to just ignore other people in the gym- however i'm still considerate and don't curl in the squat rack etc. I wish others extended me the same courtesy!

[fitfanatic123]

If they are average chad male type of gym goers who skip leg day in favour of 136 sets of shoulder press and curls then you will probably be able to outsquat them within weeks. Then you will be the intimidating one

i can only hope that one day i may be just a *little* intimidating to them !

Do you wear headphones in the gym? If not, i would do that and just try and re-focus your attention and effort inwards. As much as possible i try to just ignore other people in the gym- however i'm still considerate and don't curl in the squat rack etc. I wish others extended me the same courtesy!

i normally don't wear headphones, but actually the other day i did, and you're right, it kind of helped block some of the stuff out. i was less "aware" of other people.. in a good way though. so maybe i can stick with that.

[LunaLifts]

i normally don't wear headphones, but actually the other day i did, and you're right, it kind of helped block some of the stuff out. i was less "aware" of other people.. in a good way though. so maybe i can stick with that.

I wear headphones in public a lot of times for this very reason.

[Artemis00]

Do you wear headphones in the gym? If not, i would do that and just try and re-focus your attention and effort inwards. As much as possible i try to just ignore other people in the gym- however i'm still considerate and don't curl in the squat rack etc. I wish others extended me the same courtesy!

I made the mistake late last year taking my earbuds out when I was working out with another person. I didn't realize how much I missed by having the earbuds in...like the guy that needs to grunt out every single rep and then there is the moaner who sounds like he is about to orgasm when he does push ups and calf raises. It is so much easier to focus when you can't hear that crap.

[euco09]

Why are you so focused on other people? You need to get a grip and switch the focus back to you. Go in with your blinders on and crush your fukin workouts period the end!

The day I ever let anyone intimidate at the gym would be the day I quit...and that would never happen.

I'm super shy and not a very confident person but I have never felt intimidated in the gym. I actually feel more confident and feel like I fit in more when I'm in the gym!

[SoapQueen87]

I totally get what you're saying. Some days I feel like I am making a fool of myself or like yesterday, for example... I was running on E and about to do one of my last workouts and tried to move a bench. The bench got out of control, flipped over, and here I am, struggling in a gym full of huge dudes to maneuver this (prob 30 lb) bench around. lol.
I felt like a freaking idiot. BUUUUT I kept telling myself, "act like you don't care, act like this is totally normal and you don't see the stares" and I did and just went to my workout.
There is more curiosity about women in the gym than judgment, I feel. I think a lot of guys are very impressed with those of us that lift, and honestly, don't give a damn about what other people think. Everyone is there doing something they need improvement on; even the biggest, baddest guy in there. Everyone has insecurities. Just don't let people see yours.
If guys are being obnoxious, let them. I handle that sh*t quickly, I'll just force my way through their little "huddles" and grab my weights and look at them like they'll regret getting froggy lol.
It's all faking it til you make it!
Seriously, though. If I can handle flipping a bench around the gym floor like a damsel in distress in front of all to see and pretend I don't care, you can do this. Just focus on what you're doing and pretend they're not even there.
Good luck!

[Artemis00]

I felt like a freaking idiot.

I have adopted the mentality that if you sometimes feel like an idiot because of some of the things you do...well then embrace it. If you are afraid that people are looking at you wondering WTF you are doing...then give them something to wonder about.

I will seriously do some of the most ridiculous things at the gym to the point where now the regulars pretty much expect it. I think I have hung upside down from pretty much every single piece of equipment that you can. On Tuesday I decided to see if I could hang by my knees from the bar attached to the lat cable station. Earlier this year I had a bunch of firefighters talking about me when I was doing chin ups. I've pretty much become immune to worrying about what others at the gym think about me and what I'm doing.

[sy2502]

I learned to check my ego at the door when I moved to the US. My English was bad, I didn't know anything about anything, so of course I made a fool of myself constantly. At that point I could either never leave the house or embrace it. It was a good life lesson. Life is so much easier when you stop constantly worrying about what people are going to think about you.

[PLANETGETLOW]

i'm needing a little re-assurance... i've been feeling really intimidated in the weight area lately. i've done pretty good the past few years not giving a crap about who's there and what not and just focusing on myself and doing my thing. but the past few months there's been a group of guys there that are just extremely obnoxious, and for whatever reason they really intimidate me and bug me. i guess i feel like people give off "vibes" or "energy" and i just feel like they think i shouldn't be down there (i could be wrong of course)... the weight room is actually downstairs. upstairs is the cardio and a few machines and light dumbbells. so unfortunately i have to go to a whole secluded section of the gym to use the power rack and stuff. it's so nice and peaceful when this group isn't there but lately they have been there at the same time as me. i'm also usually the only girl down there so it just adds to the intimidation.

currently trying to find a way to get over this. i was honestly thinking of switching back to going in the mornings to avoid these people. but that's ridiculous and i don't want them to "win" lol... what do you guys do or think to get over this kind of thinking.

I quit going to mainstream gyms because they are social gatherings.

When I did go to them I would ALWAYS wear a hoodie with the hood up and earphones. I would keep my head down and would always rotate between different areas trying to avoid the people you mentioned.

I train at an underground gym where it's hot, uncomfortable, and only serious bodybuilders and powerlifters train. People at this caliber do not socialize, in fact they are they are there for themselves, do not care how you dress, what you look like, how loud you get, and what you are doing.

Gyms should not have AC or allow people to socialize taking up a machine, taking selfies every 5 minutes, or looking for a date.

[edenhila97]

I feel you, really.
I'm new to my gym, and I asked for a trainer to help me with my first workout . When I glanced at the weights section he just told me:"That's the guys department"
I'm sure he was joking, because he's legit, but at that moment I felt skeptic about my gym choice =\
I'm still forming my routine there, and I know I have to block out other people, do my own thing, perfect my form - get in and out of the gym.

[WeeRocket]

What have they actually done to make you feel intimidated?

If they've said something...I would tell them where to go.

If it's just the fact that they're a bunch of males in the gym...then you need to realise that you are not going to escape that.

When I first joined a bodybuilding gym several years ago, I will never forget what I was told on my first day there, "Don't worry about the men in the gym, they're too busy looking at themselves to be bothered about you"...and they were right!

[Eve06281005]

I get that feeling of intimidation. I am also intimidated by the overwhelming percentage of men (vs women) in the weight room. In my gym it's around 95% men. I am intimidated because I am fairly lean but not big... 105 pounds... and they all stare at me. Compared to you guys, I can't lift even half of what you lift but usually more than the women in there.

I had even resorted to wearing long sleeves to avoid the stares but one day I only had a tank top and decided to just walk in, do my thing, and ignore the stares. It was either that or go home (I admit that I briefly considered that option...!). It forced me to get ignore my "intimidated" feelings and its a little easier now but I have to work hard at it every time!

[sy2502]

I get that feeling of intimidation. I am also intimidated by the overwhelming percentage of men (vs women) in the weight room. In my gym it's around 95% men. I am intimidated because I am fairly lean but not big... 105 pounds... and they all stare at me. Compared to you guys, I can't lift even half of what you lift but usually more than the women in there.

I had even resorted to wearing long sleeves to avoid the stares but one day I only had a tank top and decided to just walk in, do my thing, and ignore the stares. It was either that or go home (I admit that I briefly considered that option...!). It forced me to get ignore my "intimidated" feelings and its a little easier now but I have to work hard at it every time!

Oh good grief ladies, get over yourselves. Nobody is staring at you, nobody cares what you do. They are all too busy paying attention to what they are doing and looking at themselves in the mirror. You are not so special that the whole world stops for you when you walk into a gym.

[Eve06281005]

Oh good grief ladies, get over yourselves. Nobody is staring at you, nobody cares what you do. They are all too busy paying attention to what they are doing and looking at themselves in the mirror. You are not so special that the whole world stops for you when you walk into a gym.

They are staring. And they stop to make various comments. Men and women. Doesn't happen when I wear long sleeves. I am not imagining this.

[pogioli4]

They are staring. And they stop to make various comments. Men and women. Doesn't happen when I wear long sleeves. I am not imagining this.

okay, sure. but who cares? sorry to be blunt, but y'all that worry about this need to rethink how you go about your lives. you're ALWAYS going to encounter people like this. people that make you uncomfortable, or are obnoxious, or rude, etc. in every aspect of life. this is a public gym, expect it to be no different. learn to accept that these people exist. do you. don't even acknowledge their existence unless you have to if that's how you wanna go about it. but quit worrying so much.
srsly, if that is what you are stressing out about in life then you have no reason to stress in the first place

[Artemis00]

okay, sure. but who cares? sorry to be blunt, but y'all that worry about this need to rethink how you go about your lives. you're ALWAYS going to encounter people like this. people that make you uncomfortable, or are obnoxious, or rude, etc. in every aspect of life. this is a public gym, expect it to be no different. learn to accept that these people exist. do you. don't even acknowledge their existence unless you have to if that's how you wanna go about it. but quit worrying so much.
srsly, if that is what you are stressing out about in life then you have no reason to stress in the first place

Well said. You can't control what other people do in a public environment. They are gonna look and their isn't anything you can do to stop them from doing that.

They are staring. And they stop to make various comments. Men and women. Doesn't happen when I wear long sleeves. I am not imagining this.

If you thinks that covering yourself up is going to change that, you are wrong. A person covered from head to toe with their hoodie up is going to get far more attention at the gyms I've been to than a woman wearing shorts and a sports bra. The only thing you can control is how you react. Wear what makes you comfortable or feel good at the gym and DGAF about anybody else.

[fitfanatic123]

okay, sure. but who cares? sorry to be blunt, but y'all that worry about this need to rethink how you go about your lives. you're ALWAYS going to encounter people like this. people that make you uncomfortable, or are obnoxious, or rude, etc. in every aspect of life. this is a public gym, expect it to be no different. learn to accept that these people exist. do you. don't even acknowledge their existence unless you have to if that's how you wanna go about it. but quit worrying so much.
srsly, if that is what you are stressing out about in life then you have no reason to stress in the first place

totally agree. it's just a lot easier said than done for some people.

[sy2502]

They are staring. And they stop to make various comments. Men and women. Doesn't happen when I wear long sleeves. I am not imagining this.

I would be more likely to stare at somebody working out in long sleeves than in a tank top, just because it would seem so out of place, but sure, whatever, wear your long sleeves instead. In fact a burka would be even better. Or just stay home.

[Artemis00]

They are staring. And they stop to make various comments. Men and women. Doesn't happen when I wear long sleeves. I am not imagining this.

I would be more likely to stare at somebody working out in long sleeves than in a tank top, just because it would seem so out of place.

You are right on with that^^^


A person completely covered up stands out far more in the gym than everyone else. Especially if they have their hoodie up. Might as well have a flashing neon sign pointing to that person. LOL

[Contribution05]

Oh good grief ladies, get over yourselves. Nobody is staring at you, nobody cares what you do. They are all too busy paying attention to what they are doing and looking at themselves in the mirror. You are not so special that the whole world stops for you when you walk into a gym.

I stare at everyone in the gym. I pace around in between sets (get that fitbit number higher) and staring at other people lifting is slightly more stimulating than staring at a wall. But I don't think negatively of anyone who's at the gym trying to get in shape.

Well except this one white guy who comes in wearing a slanted backwards ball cap, gold chain, and athletic shorts that go down to his ankles, I do think negatively of him when I watch him lift.

[sy2502]

I stare at everyone in the gym. I pace around in between sets (get that fitbit number higher) and staring at other people lifting is slightly more stimulating than staring at a wall. But I don't think negatively of anyone who's at the gym trying to get in shape.

Well except this one white guy who comes in wearing a slanted backwards ball cap, gold chain, and athletic shorts that go down to his ankles, I do think negatively of him when I watch him lift.

In between sets I stare into the void. The sometimes I realize it's not void, there's a person there, probably OP, who must wonder why I am staring when in fact I didn't even see them in the first place.

[fitfanatic123]

In between sets I stare into the void. The sometimes I realize it's not void, there's a person there, probably OP, who must wonder why I am staring when in fact I didn't even see them in the first place.

Haha, i know. But you never encounter a-holes at the gym? Or just loud and obnoxious guys who give u the impression that they think women shouldnt be in the weight area? I guess im just easily intimidated. But im working on it.

[sy2502]

Haha, i know. But you never encounter a-holes at the gym? Or just loud and obnoxious guys who give u the impression that they think women shouldnt be in the weight area? I guess im just easily intimidated. But im working on it.

I have to say I can't think of any bad experience. I had one guy once that tried to get get me off a machine I was using. I told him to take a walk until I was done. He gave me a murderous look but walked away. I guess I am not drop dead gorgeous like OP and guys don't stare at me, poor ugly me, what can I do? The packs of bros to me are entertaining, not intimidating. What are they going to do, exactly, gang rape me in the middle of the gym?

I pay good money every month to use that gym, I have as much right to be there as anyone else. The gym customers don't get to say where in the gym I can be or what equipment I can use.

Anyway most of the times people have been very nice to me, I've had guys offer to help me to take plates off equipment that somebody had left there, I had people ask me for a spot, I have had compliments for how heavy I lift, so honestly I can't think of anything to complain about. I think someone who's already intimidated is more likely to see a look and interpret it as a hostile look even when it isn't, or interpret harmless actions as mean or intimidating. The people at the gym are the same people you find at the grocery store, at your kids' school, or the coffee shop. If they aren't mean and intimidating then, why in the world would they turn mean and intimidating in the gym? It's the same people.

[health4life24]

Home gym. You won't regret it srs. I've never worked out in a commerical gym. Grew up working out at home and never left it. Best decision you can make for yourself. Obviously some people may prefer commercial gyms but with a home gym you can do what you want when you want and not have to worry about anyone else.