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  1. #1
    FSU Seminole brah ThePayne's Avatar
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    Girlfriend lied about texting another guy?

    Its not a big deal sure, i dont care she texts other guys, but when she knows they are trying to get with her and she keeps texting them it annoys me a bit.


    some guy always texts her and asks her to go to parties, hang out, and he even offered buy a plane ticket to come visit her when she lived in a different state,..kinda creeper status.

    Last night i mention how he was getting to be annoying and he could tone it down a little, if not i was going to talk to him. (Scrawny 130 pound kid..but i wasnt going to pound his face....i just wanted to talk)


    I asked her today if he texted her and she said "Nope"....then i said "well if he does, no big deal, i wont talk to him, u can deal with him"..then she said "Well ok, he texted me today"....



    now it makes me doubt her a little bit that she would lie...do i have a right to be mad or am i over reacting?
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  2. #2
    AintNoRestForTheWicked finOx's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThePayne View Post
    Its not a big deal sure, i dont care she texts other guys, but when she knows they are trying to get with her and she keeps texting them it annoys me a bit.


    some guy always texts her and asks her to go to parties, hang out, and he even offered buy a plane ticket to come visit her when she lived in a different state,..kinda creeper status.

    Last night i mention how he was getting to be annoying and he could tone it down a little, if not i was going to talk to him. (Scrawny 130 pound kid..but i wasnt going to pound his face....i just wanted to talk)


    I asked her today if he texted her and she said "Nope"....then i said "well if he does, no big deal, i wont talk to him, u can deal with him"..then she said "Well ok, he texted me today"....



    now it makes me doubt her a little bit that she would lie...do i have a right to be mad or am i over reacting?

    I think she has good intentions, she might not trust you enough for you NOT to kill this guy... but it would still piss me off something fierce because she knows they want to hook up or whatever and she still allows the texting/communication. I've had girls do that to me... well note the past tense. I'm a good enough guy not to be hanging out with women that I know want me, why cant your gf do the same?
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  3. #3
    In Trance We Trust killerobotninja's Avatar
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    The lesson I have learned is don't assume unless you have the facts. Some girls like attention and if you aren't giving it to them, they will get it elsewhere. The last girl I was seeing was texting a guy who had the biggest crush on her for as long as I knew her. Well, nine months later and she cheated on me with him. So, not sure what to tell you brah. Don't know the girl, but if she is doing sneaky stuff she probably isn't a girl you want to date.
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  4. #4
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    If she doesn't want to stop it knowing how much it hurts YOU, then ditch the bish.
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    AintNoRestForTheWicked finOx's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Billy-Mays View Post
    If she doesn't want to stop it knowing how much it hurts YOU, then ditch the bish.
    well said
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  6. #6
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    At least she told you the truth afterwards. It wasn't like you found out and then she admitted it, she immediately said "actually it was today". I would talk to her and say "I appreciate that you told me, but you seemed hesitant to tell me". You can gauge her reply to that to determine whether or not she is being shady, or if she is just afraid of you over reacting.
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  7. #7
    FSU Seminole brah ThePayne's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JMath View Post
    At least she told you the truth afterwards. It wasn't like you found out and then she admitted it. I would talk to her and say "I appreciate that you told me, but you seemed hesitant to tell me". You can gauge her reply to that to determine whether or not she is being shady, or if she is just afraid of you over reacting.
    Ya well she apologized, said she didnt want to be mean to him because she may seem him around town a lot and it would be awkward. Dont understand why you would choose lying over a bit of awkwardness to a creep though.. ( i can tell a sincere apology from a fake one and this was sincere)

    This makes me wonder how many other times shes lied though.


    for now im pulling the immature move and giving her the cold shoulder because im kind of pissed and dont want to talk to her right now
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  8. #8
    . JMath's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThePayne View Post
    Ya well she apologized, said she didnt want to be mean to him because she may seem him around town a lot and it would be awkward. Dont understand why you would choose lying over a bit of awkwardness to a creep though.. ( i can tell a sincere apology from a fake one and this was sincere)

    This makes me wonder how many other times shes lied though.


    for now im pulling the immature move and giving her the cold shoulder because im kind of pissed and dont want to talk to her right now
    Yeah, I don't blame you. If your pissed, you have every right to take time to ignore her and cool down a bit or whatever you have to do. Eventually talk to her about it though, or it will most likely just get worse. I personally find that the truth is usually less serious than what I have imagined in my head, and in this case it will probably be the same for you. Good luck with it all.
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  9. #9
    Recovered Fatass PetethePianist's Avatar
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    my ex used to lie to me about things because she was "afraid." i could be wrong but it sounds like she might be afraid of you getting mad at her for something she doesn't see a problem with or that you could be overbearing/possessive. just be sure to make it clear to her when something bothers you but in a way like you said, how you would just let her handle it. it shows you care and she doesn't have to be afraid of you going after her friend with a crowbar.
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  11. #11
    FSU Seminole brah ThePayne's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PetethePianist View Post
    my ex used to lie to me about things because she was "afraid." i could be wrong but it sounds like she might be afraid of you getting mad at her for something she doesn't see a problem with or that you could be overbearing/possessive. just be sure to make it clear to her when something bothers you but in a way like you said, how you would just let her handle it. it shows you care and she doesn't have to be afraid of you going after her friend with a crowbar.
    i think i might have said i would "choke slam" him (jokingly...i honestly dont care that much unless he sent pics of his d!ck to her phone)


    so maybe she was afraid of that...idk, yes she shouldnt have lied and im pissed about it, but i understand why she did...for now shes on punishment..lulz
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  12. #12
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    who gives a **** if other people are texting her? she is the one who controls her texting interactions, not you. trust a little bit man. if she is going to leave you it certainly wont be over some dude texting her
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  13. #13
    Registered User seibert253's Avatar
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    Girl texting other dudes, especially if you are right there = disprespect for you. (Ultimate disrespect IMO. She should be focusing on you, not other dudes)

    Girl lying about texting other dudes = disrespect for you and your relationship.
    If there's no problem and everything's on the up and up, why is she lying about it. Oh, she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or she's afraid to upset you, PLEASE.

    The ultimate way to show respect for anyone in a relationship is TO BE OPEN AND HONEST.
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  14. #14
    Registered User jsVR-4's Avatar
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    There doesn't seem to be much you can do about a teen/early 20's girl texting other men.

    They refuse to admit that they are little more than a piece of ass to these guys. I guarentee you if this was a 250lbs pimpley, greasy, lard-ass texting her, she would put a stop to it... regardless of whether or not she would see him around town.


    The only thing that seems to work is for them to just experience their BFs texting other attractive females for a while... so she knows how it feels. Even then, they tend to see it as a TOTALLY DIFFERENT situation alot of times. Eventually they just need to learn that it's a matter of respect for you.... dont' let her turn this into a "trust" issue.
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    Originally Posted by ThePayne View Post
    Its not a big deal sure, i dont care she texts other guys, but when she knows they are trying to get with her and she keeps texting them it annoys me a bit.


    some guy always texts her and asks her to go to parties, hang out, and he even offered buy a plane ticket to come visit her when she lived in a different state,..kinda creeper status.

    Last night i mention how he was getting to be annoying and he could tone it down a little, if not i was going to talk to him. (Scrawny 130 pound kid..but i wasnt going to pound his face....i just wanted to talk)


    I asked her today if he texted her and she said "Nope"....then i said "well if he does, no big deal, i wont talk to him, u can deal with him"..then she said "Well ok, he texted me today"....



    now it makes me doubt her a little bit that she would lie...do i have a right to be mad or am i over reacting?
    I was dating this woman who was seven years younger than me in the late 90s and we got along very well. Then, she needed some computer help and she knew this Pakistani guy she went to college with who was an expert so I said, give him a call. She did, and then it was off to the races as he began to shower her with expensive gifts. She invited him to dinner as "thanks" and he shows up with more gifts which he gave her right in front of my face. I'm fairly familiar with Indian culture from friends and knew that this was not just being nice.

    I told her that I didn't care for this and that it was a massive insult, which she was allowing. To her that meant that I was "controlling", but I didn't buy that crap because being annoyed about someone courting your girlfriend in front of you is hardly controlling. Her and her father confronted me and said, "If he wants to give gifts, we'll take them" and according to my code of ethics, that's whoring and I was not pleased. Then, I found out that in Pakistani culture it's ok to KILL someone who is offending you like that, and I made it completely clear that I was going to confront and beat this little man into the ground for his insult, and she stopped communicating with him.

    A few months later we broke up for a variety of related reasons.

    In retrospect, I should have broken up with her well before the incident with this guy, which amounted to nothing as she an I talked on the phone each night and I knew where she was. But, she always had this casual attitude toward insults which had to do with me having a distant role in her priority list. One minute she was moving across the country and then not, she couldn't drive a half hour to see me, she would move closer to her work, which would mean I'd be driving a long distance to see her, she'd take gifts from other men in front of my face, and so forth.

    The irony is that she is a psychotherapist and so am I.

    Anyway, I stopped being a fool and woke up. If a woman disrespects you by talking to other men who are trying to whore her out by offering gifts and so forth, she is no good. After any such proposition is made, she should bring the conversation to a crashing halt, if she does not, then that means she likes it and is not trustworthy.
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  16. #16
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    I'd be concerned, but at the same time her telling a lie then turning around and confessing immediatley could mean that she doesn't lie to you... (kinda like she tried to once and then decided right away it was wrong to do)

    Just thought I'd throw out another way of looking at it.
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    Originally Posted by seibert253 View Post
    Girl texting other dudes, especially if you are right there = disprespect for you. (Ultimate disrespect IMO. She should be focusing on you, not other dudes)

    Girl lying about texting other dudes = disrespect for you and your relationship.
    If there's no problem and everything's on the up and up, why is she lying about it. Oh, she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or she's afraid to upset you, PLEASE.

    The ultimate way to show respect for anyone in a relationship is TO BE OPEN AND HONEST.
    yep, I called one girl out at dinner for texting during a dinner date..I ended up leaving her at the resturant because I knew it was some other dude and she was just trying to play me.

    OP, if this girl lies about one thing she will just lie about another more serious matter.
    Kick her to the curb for disrespecting you man
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    Honestly it wouldn't bother me if she didnt lie about it. My gf texts some guys every once in awhile, but they're her guy friends that I know and have met. It would only bother me if she was giving her number out and talking to guys that i dont know, but that doesnt happen. Sounds to me like you need to sit down with her and explain that texting guys that she KNOWS wants her is completely disrespectful to the relationship and should not be tolerated. It's immature. All she's doing is getting her ego stroked and craving for attention. I would hate to be with one of those kinda girls.
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    ****ing insensitive bitch,dump her ass man ,not worth it,she knows it annoys u and yet she keeps texting that guy.
    b4 u dump her make sure u take some nude pics of her.
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    straight up this is a red flag sign from the get go... even though it may be harmless, it shows she possesses a characteristic of a girl that isn't worth your time.. girls gotta be 100% loyal from the beginning, cuz now a days with tiger ****ing every girl in sight, nobody is safe
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    This is why i love (no homo) the RH misc



    Good advice guys, repping as many as i can
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  22. #22
    moma said talk it out kmk25II45's Avatar
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    I've had a similar thing happen to me. Found out my gf has been calling her ex-husband at least 10 times a month for the last year or so (we've been official for the last 6 months) even though I told her, in no uncertain terms, that I was NOT okay with that and would not stand for that. So, she lied to me about it.

    Part of her excuse was "I didn't want to hurt you...I was afraid how you'd react". I've noticed others in this thread have referenced similar lines of bullsh*t.

    Seriously, if I hear a girl say this to me, it's f*cking over. If they cared so much about your feelings that they "didn't want to hurt you", then they would stop doing the behavior which hurts you instead of continuing to do it and then try and hide it from you.

    They're basically providing an excuse for lying ("they didn't want to hurt you") which is proven to be complete bull**** by the fact that they did something that necessitated lying in the first place.



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  23. #23
    FSU Seminole brah ThePayne's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kmk25II45 View Post
    I've had a similar thing happen to me. Found out my gf has been calling her ex-husband at least 10 times a month for the last year or so (we've been official for the last 6 months) even though I told her, in no uncertain terms, that I was NOT okay with that and would not stand for that. So, she lied to me about it.

    Part of her excuse was "I didn't want to hurt you...I was afraid how you'd react". I've noticed others in this thread have referenced similar lines of bullsh*t.

    Seriously, if I hear a girl say this to me, it's f*cking over. If they cared so much about your feelings that they "didn't want to hurt you", then they would stop doing the behavior which hurts you instead of continuing to do it and then try and hide it from you.

    They're basically providing an excuse for lying ("they didn't want to hurt you") which is proven to be complete bull**** by the fact that they did something that necessitated lying in the first place.



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    ..bishes only do dumb sht like this because we as men put up with it....one time i was datin this chick and she stepped outside to smoke and i came out...she closed her phone real quick like she was actin shady...so....
    i dumped her entirely for that reason
    feels good man
    don lettem getawaywitit
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    Originally Posted by DANDIESEL View Post
    ..bishes only do dumb sht like this because we as men put up with it....one time i was datin this chick and she stepped outside to smoke and i came out...she closed her phone real quick like she was actin shady...so....
    i dumped her entirely for that reason
    feels good man
    don lettem getawaywitit
    isnt this comming from the dude to put his gun in the air and let off a few rounds to scare some dude from your girl or something?


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    My girl did the same thing when i found out she told me who it was...turned out the guy is a known gay and on top of that she didnt want me to get jealous...i wasnt obviously so its probly a no big deal
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    Originally Posted by ThePayne View Post
    isnt this comming from the dude to put his gun in the air and let off a few rounds to scare some dude from your girl or something?


    your a beast...no homo
    musta got me confused with somebody else
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    Originally Posted by TheAdlerian View Post
    I was dating this woman who was seven years younger than me in the late 90s and we got along very well. Then, she needed some computer help and she knew this Pakistani guy she went to college with who was an expert so I said, give him a call. She did, and then it was off to the races as he began to shower her with expensive gifts. She invited him to dinner as "thanks" and he shows up with more gifts which he gave her right in front of my face. I'm fairly familiar with Indian culture from friends and knew that this was not just being nice.

    I told her that I didn't care for this and that it was a massive insult, which she was allowing. To her that meant that I was "controlling", but I didn't buy that crap because being annoyed about someone courting your girlfriend in front of you is hardly controlling. Her and her father confronted me and said, "If he wants to give gifts, we'll take them" and according to my code of ethics, that's whoring and I was not pleased. Then, I found out that in Pakistani culture it's ok to KILL someone who is offending you like that, and I made it completely clear that I was going to confront and beat this little man into the ground for his insult, and she stopped communicating with him.

    A few months later we broke up for a variety of related reasons.

    In retrospect, I should have broken up with her well before the incident with this guy, which amounted to nothing as she an I talked on the phone each night and I knew where she was. But, she always had this casual attitude toward insults which had to do with me having a distant role in her priority list. One minute she was moving across the country and then not, she couldn't drive a half hour to see me, she would move closer to her work, which would mean I'd be driving a long distance to see her, she'd take gifts from other men in front of my face, and so forth.

    The irony is that she is a psychotherapist and so am I.

    Anyway, I stopped being a fool and woke up. If a woman disrespects you by talking to other men who are trying to whore her out by offering gifts and so forth, she is no good. After any such proposition is made, she should bring the conversation to a crashing halt, if she does not, then that means she likes it and is not trustworthy.
    wtf? did you ask her father why he wasnt minding his own business and why he needed to get involved?
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    She likes the attention and is insecure. She's leading him on by keeping up with communication. Not okay, sounds like its already out of hand and it will get worse. Are you not showing her enough attention or something? There's a void she is trying to fill by communicating with him.
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  30. #30
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    Texting another guy is fine, but lying about texting another guy is not fine. Kill her.
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