Dieting and living life

[chris1185]

For the past few months I've noticed a big problem and I figure this is a good place to address it, as most others wouldn't really understand.

I've always taken bodybuilding/diet very seriously, and it definitely shows, as all my friends/family always ask me for advice, and I've always progressed.

I gained some weight when I moved out, because it took me a few weeks to get everything in order, and now my diet is perfect, well strictly to what I set it to. I usually eat the same foods everyday, and try to spread my meals every 3-4 hours or so.

But lately I've realized over the past few months, it keeps interfering with my social life. I started to date a girl, and I felt all I was doing was killing my progress/gains. You would think all I would care about being a young male is getting laid, but all I kept thinking about is how I was deviating from my goal (getting more lean, and maintaining size) She always wanted to hang out, and I would sometimes sleep over, and my diet kept getting messed up.

The main problem I have is...alot of times on the weekends my buddies want me to go out for lunch and sometimes also dinner. I have no problem having a cheat meal friday night, but what the heck do I do the other 3-4 times they ask me to come eat? I always feel like I'm making an excuse not to hang out, just so I can stick to my diet. One part of me thinks it's ridiculous to skip out on my friends, the other part of me is in hardcore get shredded mode. I sometimes don't know if my friends are a distraction, or if I just take it too seriously.

I was overweight at one time, so I always want to stay lean, and when eating out I always feel like I have no control, as I'm so use to measuring my food, and knowing the exact calories I'm consuming at all times. Sometimes my friends will call and ask on a weeknight if I want to meet for some dinner, and 9 out of 10 times I say no, because I think I can't "cheat" that many times a week.

How do I overcome this problem? I feel if I give in to my friends / girlfriends / dating / etc...that I will just show a weakness in my dedication to my body. It's almost like I care more about being lean than anything else, which obviously isn't a healthy mix.

The weird thing is...some weekends I let loose, and cheat friday night, cheat saturday, cheat sunday, and even get drunk over the weekend, and I feel good and I'm not worrying about anything. But then after its all over, let's say sunday night/monday morning, I'll just have a guilty feeling, like I'm just asking to get fat.

Anyone else have these problems?

[determined4000]

For the past few months I've noticed a big problem and I figure this is a good place to address it, as most others wouldn't really understand.

I've always taken bodybuilding/diet very seriously, and it definitely shows, as all my friends/family always ask me for advice, and I've always progressed.

I gained some weight when I moved out, because it took me a few weeks to get everything in order, and now my diet is perfect, well strictly to what I set it to. I usually eat the same foods everyday, and try to spread my meals every 3-4 hours or so.

But lately I've realized over the past few months, it keeps interfering with my social life. I started to date a girl, and I felt all I was doing was killing my progress/gains. You would think all I would care about being a young male is getting laid, but all I kept thinking about is how I was deviating from my goal (getting more lean, and maintaining size) She always wanted to hang out, and I would sometimes sleep over, and my diet kept getting messed up.

The main problem I have is...alot of times on the weekends my buddies want me to go out for lunch and sometimes also dinner. I have no problem having a cheat meal friday night, but what the heck do I do the other 3-4 times they ask me to come eat? I always feel like I'm making an excuse not to hang out, just so I can stick to my diet. One part of me thinks it's ridiculous to skip out on my friends, the other part of me is in hardcore get shredded mode. I sometimes don't know if my friends are a distraction, or if I just take it too seriously.

I was overweight at one time, so I always want to stay lean, and when eating out I always feel like I have no control, as I'm so use to measuring my food, and knowing the exact calories I'm consuming at all times. Sometimes my friends will call and ask on a weeknight if I want to meet for some dinner, and 9 out of 10 times I say no, because I think I can't "cheat" that many times a week.

How do I overcome this problem? I feel if I give in to my friends / girlfriends / dating / etc...that I will just show a weakness in my dedication to my body. It's almost like I care more about being lean than anything else, which obviously isn't a healthy mix.

The weird thing is...some weekends I let loose, and cheat friday night, cheat saturday, cheat sunday, and even get drunk over the weekend, and I feel good and I'm not worrying about anything. But then after its all over, let's say sunday night/monday morning, I'll just have a guilty feeling, like I'm just asking to get fat.

Anyone else have these problems?

If you can never go out on a date because you are too busy "getting shredded", presumably to impress girls, then what is the point. Second, if she is only interested in you because you are shredded, then she is shallow and it won't last long.
As far as eating out with friends, why does it have to end up a cheat meal? Almost any restaurant you can order chicken/steak with veggies, salad etc. If you go to a pizza place, you can get a sub. Even Chinese Food places have healthy options. If these are decent friends they may nag you a little but you can just make a joke out of it and if you feel this pressured by your friends, then they aren't great friends.

[chris1185]

If you can never go out on a date because you are too busy "getting shredded", presumably to impress girls, then what is the point. Second, if she is only interested in you because you are shredded, then she is shallow and it won't last long.
As far as eating out with friends, why does it have to end up a cheat meal? Almost any restaurant you can order chicken/steak with veggies, salad etc. If you go to a pizza place, you can get a sub. Even Chinese Food places have healthy options. If these are decent friends they may nag you a little but you can just make a joke out of it and if you feel this pressured by your friends, then they aren't great friends.

Well you see that's the problem...I feel like I'm cheating even if I order something healthy, because I have ZERO idea of how many carbs I'm taking in, or how many calories, or anything. So I just feel like the whole day is thrown own. I usually order healthy without realizing it, because I'm so use to it, but I still feel bad about it because I take in a SET # of carbs a day, so how do I know how many I'm taking in? Sometimes I feel like I didn't get enough, or sometimes I feel like I had too much.

Does anyone eat out more than 3-4 times a week, and still stay on track?

[spak]

If you can never go out on a date because you are too busy "getting shredded", presumably to impress girls, then what is the point. Second, if she is only interested in you because you are shredded, then she is shallow and it won't last long.
As far as eating out with friends, why does it have to end up a cheat meal? Almost any restaurant you can order chicken/steak with veggies, salad etc. If you go to a pizza place, you can get a sub. Even Chinese Food places have healthy options. If these are decent friends they may nag you a little but you can just make a joke out of it and if you feel this pressured by your friends, then they aren't great friends.

definitely agree here, last weekend me and some friends went out to applebees and they all got wings/burgers etc, I got a chicken wrap with steamed veggies and a water lol, they didnt say anything about it they were just happy I came to hang out for once lol. It did put me a little bit over for cals for the day but honestly it wasnt that bad.

[chris1185]

definitely agree here, last weekend me and some friends went out to applebees and they all got wings/burgers etc, I got a chicken wrap with steamed veggies and a water lol, they didnt say anything about it they were just happy I came to hang out for once lol. It did put me a little bit over for cals for the day but honestly it wasnt that bad.

Yes, one time is no biggie...I'm talking fri/sat/sun and sometimes during the week, etc.

[IGF-WON]

I have no idea at all how many calories i eat (or carbs/protein/fats for that matter). I just make good choices most of the time.

a specific number isnt important, it IS OCD, though.

the more you worry the worse it will get

[chris1185]

I have no idea at all how many calories i eat (or carbs/protein/fats for that matter). I just make good choices most of the time.

a specific number isnt important, it IS OCD, though.

the more you worry the worse it will get

I totally agree with you. Actually I'd be extremely happy if I NEVER counted anything, but once I started a few years ago, it seemed to get more and more and more specific. Now I'm down to a science where I eat the same amount of carbs/cals on certain days, and cheat on Fridays. I wish I could just eat and workout and stay lean/big. Thats what I did in high school before I knew anything...

[zeetis]

It's true that when you learn something it's hard no to think about it; so when I go out to a restaurant or takeaways I do tend to think how many calories would be in something, even if I don't want to, it's there.

But when I go out I have a 'rough' idea of what is in things, and just go with a general ballpark figure, it's not like it's going to ruin everything if you are 100 calories out.

For example, if we go to a chinese restaurant, I'll order chicken spring onion ginger, which usually comes with about 150 g of chicken, 100-300 grams mixed veges, sauce (oyster sauce, soy sauce, sesame oil some other wee things) and a cup of rice; I can work out approx how many calories that is from keeping track when I cook my own food.

If you are eating out at the same places all the time, surely you can sorta guess at what you will eat and work it out?

[Coty08]

Why don't you try to plan ahead where you are eating. Like find out where they want to go and see if you can find some nutrition facts online from the resteraunt (if they have it). Or try to add it up in your mind.

[FunkymonkAW]

Get over it and realize that life > *.

Also, you don't need to space your meals 3-4 hrs apart. Often times I'll go out on Sat afternoons+nights with friends, so I'll have a small breakfast, and then get as close as I can to my normal cals/fats/carbs/protein macros for the rest of the day.

[Murderfox]

Agree w/ OP , that's how i feel too, except for the gf part. I feel i'll hinder my gains or such if i do anything else than the regular and i was at a buffet on fri then on sat too, i enjoyed it a lot but the guilt kicked in hard after that cause of the bloat and eating way too much. I never used to count sh*t and was built really well ( obviously not as shredded as now cause i cut down to single digits but you get the point). But now i feel the need to know everything and stick to some sorta plan. I wish i could just ignore it and sh*t but yeah once you know something it's hard to ignore it.