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  1. #1
    Jersey Strong Minotaur's Avatar
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    Talking Cannibal one-liners (hey, I'm bored)

    Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

    That reminds me of the cannibal that passed his friend in the woods.

    Q: When do cannibals leave the table?
    A: When everyone's eaten.

    Q: What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show?
    A: A celebrity roast.

    Q: Where do cannibals shop for fine furniture?
    A: Eatin' Allen's.

    Q: What did the cannibal give his wife for Valentine's Day?
    A: A box of farmer's fannies.

    Q: What do cannibals eat for dessert?
    A: Chocolate covered aunts.

    Q: What do cannibals make out of politicians?
    A: Bologna sandwiches.

    Q: What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
    A: The cold shoulder.

    Q: What is a cannibal's favorite game?
    A: Swallow the leader.

    Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast foods? He ordered a pizza with everybody on it.

    Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school for buttering up his teacher?

    Cannibal's recipe book: How to Serve Your Fellow Man.

    One cannibal to another: I never met a man I didn't like.

    Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law." The 2nd cannibal replied, "So, try potatoes.

    One day a cannibal visited the neighboring island of cannibals. There, people cost $2 but politicians cost $25. The visiting cannibal asked, "How come politicians cost so much?" The chief answered, "Do you know how hard it is to clean one of those?"

    A man gets captured by cannibals and every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."

    Q. How can you tell when two cannibals really trust each other?
    A. They're having oral sex.

    Q: What does a cannibal say when he see's a man in a hammock?
    A: MMMMMMM, Breakfast in bed

    Q. What did the cannibal do when he dumped his girlfriend?
    A. Wiped his ass.

    Q: Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
    A: They're very bitter.

    Q: Why do cannibals prefer eating readers to writers?
    A: Because writers cramp but readers digest.

    Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and say, "You know, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn't agree with me!"

    A man was captured by cannibals. "What," asked the cannibal chief, licking his lips, "was your job before you were captured?" "I was a newspaper man," came the reply. "An editor?"
    "No, merely a sub-editor." "Cheer up. Promotion awaits you. After dinner you will be editor-in-chief."

    Two cannibals were sitting beside the fire after a sumptuous meal. One turned to the other and said:"Your wife sure makes a good roast." "Yeah, I'm really going to miss her."

    What is the title of the best-selling cannibal book?
    "How To Serve Your Fellow Man."

    What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
    The cold shoulder.

    A cannibal is a guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.

    Did you hear about the cannibal student who was suspended from school for buttering up his teacher?

    Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant where dinner costs an arm and a leg?

    Two cannibals were eating dinner. One said:"I really hate my sister."
    The other said:"Well, just eat the noodles."

    What do cannibals do at a wedding?
    They toast the bride and groom.
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  2. #2
    Registered User Whatanejit's Avatar
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    Feeling hungry Mino??
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  3. #3
    Jersey Strong Minotaur's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Whatanejit View Post
    Feeling hungry Mino??
    Damn skippy!
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  4. #4
    Kettlebear Marius_Ursus's Avatar
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    Eat me.

    wait wut?
    Vikings
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  5. #5
    Jersey Strong Minotaur's Avatar
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    Trust is paramount.

    When I was a kid I saw Eat Me scratched into the concrete sidewalk. I thought it had somethig to do with Alice in Wonderland. Then as a teenager reading Alice in Wonderland I got horny.

    Btw, someone tried to get a license plate 3MTA3. DMV caught on and declined it.
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  6. #6
    Registered User GuyJin's Avatar
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    Talking

    Cannibal number one turns to his friend and grimaces, rubbing his stomach. His friend asks him what's the problem. The first cannibal says: "I just ate Carl Lewis and I gotta tell ya, fast food just doesn't agree with me."


    (GuyJin turns and runs for cover, hoping he won't be negged by any sprinters in the group. Oh, wait, lifters don't sprint...whew!)
    "Chivalry isn't dead. It just wears a skirt."--Twisted

    "A choice to be made, a price to be paid."--The Tower

    "Love doesn't always come around, and when it does, it isn't always from around here." --Lindsay Versus the Marauders

    "One hundred percent unfiltered awesome."--Death Bytes

    Check out my links to Death Bytes at DevineDestinies.com/Amazon.com and The Tower at Untreedreads.com/Amazon.com. Twisted and Lindsay Versus the Marauders are available from RegalCrest.biz and Amazon.com.
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  7. #7
    Registered User IR45N's Avatar
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    Some good ones there hadn't heard before.

    Cannibal bodybuilder bragging about being on the Keto diet. Mr. & Mrs. Keto + 8 little Ketos.
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