Lost and confused several months after a knee surgery

[Swoletitude]

I really don't know where to go at this point. Somehow I can squat 125 lbs with solid form form 4-5 reps to about parallel, but I can't do leg extensions or straight leg raises without pain. I'm so ****ing tired of this dragging on. I'm doing lunges and a couple other VMO exercises in an effort to strengthen it up. My doctor said that I have an imbalance in the strength of my leg muscles(VMO is weaker I think), and it's causing patella pain in those movements(patella-femoral syndrome).

However, I've tried several exercises to no avail. I feel like my leg is getting less and less muscular everyday, instead of bigger and stronger. Somehow I'm still making progress on squats though? 3 months ago I was doing leg extensions and straight leg raises with no problem, but then stopped them as I started front squatting 2-3x/week as I figured it'd be too taxing. Obviously now I realize I should've continued extensions/SLR, but now I don't know how to get that strength back :/ . My doctor says I'm beyond physical therapy, however. On leg extensions, I can almost do a full one with BW(wow, yes, pathetic, I know), but in the last 10-15 degrees of ROM.

Anyways, it just ****ing pisses me off I'm sitting here looking like a pussy, frail cripple who can't recover from an injury. I wanna get this the **** in the bag and move on. I just started jogging last week; I've jogged twice. It feels kinda awkward like my muscles need to get used to it, but it's only on a treadmill and at a limited speed for a short period of time.

I really just want to get strengthened the **** up and get running as fast as possible as quickly as possible, and be able to do any normal leg movement that a healthy person can do. My legs are completely unproportional as one is way bigger than the other. It's just pathetic. Maybe squatting isn't the answer? Maybe I should stick to leg press to simply isolate the weak leg? (Even though when I did that before I didn't like it as much as squats; feels awkward as the knee is kinda the stabilizer in the leg press.)

Idk. ****.

[Swoletitude]

Bump.

[mc-]

Where do you live, sport?

i'd highly encourage you to see a movement specialist who will know how to address exactly what you're describing.

If you want, PM me with your city/state and if there's someone near by i can recommend, i shall.

mc