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  1. #1
    Registered User dw300's Avatar
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    Dating a girl with a kid? Need advice

    I got messaged by a girl on a dating site who's almost exactly my type (yes that means she's hot looking too - how'd that happen?!).

    Anyway, she's 24 and has a kid who's almost a year old. If i was to meet this girls for a date or two, what attitude should i have to the fact she's got a child if it comes up in conversation?

    Obviously i've never dated a girl with kids, so I outa my depth here and would appreciate some advice.

    Cheers guys. =)
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  2. #2
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  3. #3
    Misc Self-Help Author hublife's Avatar
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    I dated a woman with a kid. Now I'm a single father with two daughters.

    My advice is to not do it unless you have the intention of eventually settling down. I'll never do it again because being a step parent sucks major ass. Especially if the kids real father is still around.

    just my .02
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  4. #4
    Zuk my e-penor Kaptn Krunch's Avatar
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    I say go for it. Dating chicks that have kids allows you to date out of your league. Most guys disregard chicks that have kids, even very hot chicks, so when you show interest...Even if she wouldn't have given you the time of day before she had a kid, you've got a hell of a shot now.

    But a serious relationship with a chick with a kid...IDK. Some guys can hang and others can't. If you just want to hit and quit it, that's one thing (cause who says chicks with kids don't want some cawk), but if she wants you to meet her kid etc, you've got some soul searching to do.
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    Originally Posted by dw300 View Post
    I got messaged by a girl on a dating site who's almost exactly my type (yes that means she's hot looking too - how'd that happen?!).

    Anyway, she's 24 and has a kid who's almost a year old. If i was to meet this girls for a date or two, what attitude should i have to the fact she's got a child if it comes up in conversation?

    Obviously i've never dated a girl with kids, so I outa my depth here and would appreciate some advice.

    Cheers guys. =)
    #1 rule

    if she is anxious for you to meet her kids

    run for the hills
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  6. #6
    devil may care kineticforce's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dw300 View Post
    I got messaged by a girl on a dating site who's almost exactly my type (yes that means she's hot looking too - how'd that happen?!).

    Anyway, she's 24 and has a kid who's almost a year old. If i was to meet this girls for a date or two, what attitude should i have to the fact she's got a child if it comes up in conversation?

    Obviously i've never dated a girl with kids, so I outa my depth here and would appreciate some advice.

    Cheers guys. =)
    If her kid comes up - talk about it. Its a huge part of her life.

    and its no big deal - unless you make it a big deal....
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  7. #7
    Registered User dw300's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Kaptn Krunch View Post
    I say go for it. Dating chicks that have kids allows you to date out of your league.
    Lol, could well be the case!

    Thanks for the pointers guys, i'll maybe update this thread later.
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  8. #8
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    Be honest with her, tell her you're unsure of it, but would like to get to know her a bit... she won't push the kid on you for a while if she's a halfway confident self assure person and a good mother. The beauty is that the kid is only 1, you won't have to be a role model or daddy figure for a long time, so if it doens't work out, no big deal. Ask about the father, that can be a BIG issue in the relationship if you are to consider dating her for any length of time, do they have a good relationship in regards to the child, or does it cause her a lot of stress and pain... why did they split - women who split and have a kid get some serious complexes and baggage, that YOU will get to deal with... far more than the normal chick who feels she's been burned in the past.

    My girlfriend has a 14 yr old and a 2 yr old... it was strange at first, but at the age we're at, it's not so uncommon... I was cautious but now I feel very comfortable with them and consider them just another part of the beautiful woman I date... they can bring happiness too if you're open to the idea. It definitely takes a lot of mental strength to understand where you are and where you might be going.


    For now, just get to know her as her, not her as a mom... most single mom's yearn for that... they're seen as a mom all day every day, take her out, let her feel like herself for now.
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  9. #9
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    Originally Posted by hublife View Post
    I dated a woman with a kid. Now I'm a single father with two daughters.

    My advice is to not do it unless you have the intention of eventually settling down. I'll never do it again because being a step parent sucks major ass. Especially if the kids real father is still around.

    just my .02
    Same thing happened with my dad with his first wife.

    She had a kid (step brother) and didn't take her birth control and got pregnant with my half brother to entrap my dad into marrying her. Both my brothers were ****ing douchebags too.

    Single parent women are usually quite determined to settle down so make sure birth control is your responsibility and you keep your condoms hidden so holes can't be punched into them until you are absolutely certain she isn't going to try anything (should take more than a year).

    I know I probably shouldn't give advice like this since I'm 19 and don't have personal experience with this kind of situation but whatever lol.
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  10. #10
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    Originally Posted by Will.i_am View Post
    Same thing happened with my dad with his first wife.

    She had a kid (step brother) and didn't take her birth control and got pregnant with my half brother to entrap my dad into marrying her. Both my brothers were ****ing douchebags too.

    Single parent women are usually quite determined to settle down so make sure birth control is your responsibility and you keep your condoms hidden so holes can't be punched into them until you are absolutely certain she isn't going to try anything (should take more than a year).

    I know I probably shouldn't give advice like this since I'm 19 and don't have personal experience with this kind of situation but whatever lol.

    OP is 30, i'm thinking he might be ready to settle down too!
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  11. #11
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    Originally Posted by loveforlife View Post
    OP is 30, i'm thinking he might be ready to settle down too!
    Yeah but I doubt he wants to be forced to settle down lol.
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  13. #13
    devil may care kineticforce's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by loveforlife View Post
    OP is 30, i'm thinking he might be ready to settle down too!
    age has nothing to do with it...if he was 25 or 50 - same sh(t goes through your head. Dude wants to go out with a girl who has a kid - how would you approach it if one of your buddies was going through the same scenario
    Originally Posted by Will.i_am View Post
    Yeah but I doubt he wants to be forced to settle down lol.
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    Originally Posted by dw300 View Post
    Lol, could well be the case!

    Thanks for the pointers guys, i'll maybe update this thread later.
    at least you know she puts out.
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    Your experience with a women with a kid will be WAY different than a single lady (meaning no kids). This is definitely something more serious and finding someone to settle down, for her. There is absolutely nothing wrong. Give it a shot! Talk about everything, kids, life, etc... nothing wrong. If you keep dating her, keep the kids out of the relationship until you know for sure what you want. Kid deserves to harm, just the two of you.



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  16. #16
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    Just be aware that she will put the child first. She may have to cancel dates at short notice if he/she gets sick or whatever, or if she's let down by a sitter, and she won't be able to just take off at the weekends - being a parent causes a big lack of freedom.

    Personally I would not date someone nowadays who doesn't have his own children, because childfree guys often don't understand. I had an ex who couldn't get used to the idea that I couldn't just drop everything and go out.
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    Don't do it. Too many women out there that don't have kids, that aren't looking for a step-dad to raise another man's child. Why the hell would you date a girl with a kid?

    There's just too much drama there, why waste both your time?
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    I'm dating a girl that has a 3yr right now. I got to know her for who she is and what she is. I have been with her for about 2 months, known her for over a year and have yet to meet her daughter.

    Let it be known to her that you want to know her first and then when you feel comfortable with the situation that you can meet her family (daughter and stuff). I normally go over after she puts the kid to sleep to have some me and her time.

    if you want to be with her, you'll find a way to be with her. Going out with a girl with a kis isn't as horrible as many think it is brah.

    on a side note...imagine how hard it would be for you to find an understanding women if you were a single father of 1 or 2 children. wouldn't you want the girl to get to know you for you first?
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    Originally Posted by Thy_Kingdom View Post
    Don't do it. Too many women out there that don't have kids, that aren't looking for a step-dad to raise another man's child. Why the hell would you date a girl with a kid?

    There's just too much drama there, why waste both your time?
    Totally agree but the final choice Its yours budy.You are the one going who is going out with her chosse wisely and good luck.
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    Originally Posted by Thy_Kingdom View Post
    Don't do it. Too many women out there that don't have kids, that aren't looking for a step-dad to raise another man's child. Why the hell would you date a girl with a kid?

    There's just too much drama there, why waste both your time?
    somewhat right - but it really depends on the kids age... if the girl is 24 and has a 7 year old its different than a 24 y.o with a 1 month/year old. HUGGGGEEE difference. Even a 3/4/5 year old is different than a 1 year old.

    She is gonna get out and date - nothing wrong with looking for love.....
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