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  1. #1
    Registered User dw300's Avatar
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    Dating a girl with a kid? Need advice

    I got messaged by a girl on a dating site who's almost exactly my type (yes that means she's hot looking too - how'd that happen?!).

    Anyway, she's 24 and has a kid who's almost a year old. If i was to meet this girls for a date or two, what attitude should i have to the fact she's got a child if it comes up in conversation?

    Obviously i've never dated a girl with kids, so I outa my depth here and would appreciate some advice.

    Cheers guys. =)
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  3. #3
    Still Breathin' hublife's Avatar
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    I dated a woman with a kid. Now I'm a single father with two daughters.

    My advice is to not do it unless you have the intention of eventually settling down. I'll never do it again because being a step parent sucks major ass. Especially if the kids real father is still around.

    just my .02
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    Zuk my e-penor Kaptn Krunch's Avatar
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    I say go for it. Dating chicks that have kids allows you to date out of your league. Most guys disregard chicks that have kids, even very hot chicks, so when you show interest...Even if she wouldn't have given you the time of day before she had a kid, you've got a hell of a shot now.

    But a serious relationship with a chick with a kid...IDK. Some guys can hang and others can't. If you just want to hit and quit it, that's one thing (cause who says chicks with kids don't want some cawk), but if she wants you to meet her kid etc, you've got some soul searching to do.
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    Originally Posted by dw300 View Post
    I got messaged by a girl on a dating site who's almost exactly my type (yes that means she's hot looking too - how'd that happen?!).

    Anyway, she's 24 and has a kid who's almost a year old. If i was to meet this girls for a date or two, what attitude should i have to the fact she's got a child if it comes up in conversation?

    Obviously i've never dated a girl with kids, so I outa my depth here and would appreciate some advice.

    Cheers guys. =)
    #1 rule

    if she is anxious for you to meet her kids

    run for the hills
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    this one time i taped two plastic bags filled with warm water together with duct tape. It was fuking awesome, swear to god it was like fuking microwaved titties.[/quote]
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  6. #6
    devil may care kineticforce's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dw300 View Post
    I got messaged by a girl on a dating site who's almost exactly my type (yes that means she's hot looking too - how'd that happen?!).

    Anyway, she's 24 and has a kid who's almost a year old. If i was to meet this girls for a date or two, what attitude should i have to the fact she's got a child if it comes up in conversation?

    Obviously i've never dated a girl with kids, so I outa my depth here and would appreciate some advice.

    Cheers guys. =)
    If her kid comes up - talk about it. Its a huge part of her life.

    and its no big deal - unless you make it a big deal....
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  7. #7
    Registered User dw300's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Kaptn Krunch View Post
    I say go for it. Dating chicks that have kids allows you to date out of your league.
    Lol, could well be the case!

    Thanks for the pointers guys, i'll maybe update this thread later.
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  8. #8
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    Be honest with her, tell her you're unsure of it, but would like to get to know her a bit... she won't push the kid on you for a while if she's a halfway confident self assure person and a good mother. The beauty is that the kid is only 1, you won't have to be a role model or daddy figure for a long time, so if it doens't work out, no big deal. Ask about the father, that can be a BIG issue in the relationship if you are to consider dating her for any length of time, do they have a good relationship in regards to the child, or does it cause her a lot of stress and pain... why did they split - women who split and have a kid get some serious complexes and baggage, that YOU will get to deal with... far more than the normal chick who feels she's been burned in the past.

    My girlfriend has a 14 yr old and a 2 yr old... it was strange at first, but at the age we're at, it's not so uncommon... I was cautious but now I feel very comfortable with them and consider them just another part of the beautiful woman I date... they can bring happiness too if you're open to the idea. It definitely takes a lot of mental strength to understand where you are and where you might be going.


    For now, just get to know her as her, not her as a mom... most single mom's yearn for that... they're seen as a mom all day every day, take her out, let her feel like herself for now.
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  9. #9
    Registered User Will.i_am's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by hublife View Post
    I dated a woman with a kid. Now I'm a single father with two daughters.

    My advice is to not do it unless you have the intention of eventually settling down. I'll never do it again because being a step parent sucks major ass. Especially if the kids real father is still around.

    just my .02
    Same thing happened with my dad with his first wife.

    She had a kid (step brother) and didn't take her birth control and got pregnant with my half brother to entrap my dad into marrying her. Both my brothers were ****ing douchebags too.

    Single parent women are usually quite determined to settle down so make sure birth control is your responsibility and you keep your condoms hidden so holes can't be punched into them until you are absolutely certain she isn't going to try anything (should take more than a year).

    I know I probably shouldn't give advice like this since I'm 19 and don't have personal experience with this kind of situation but whatever lol.
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  10. #10
    Registered User loveforlife's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Will.i_am View Post
    Same thing happened with my dad with his first wife.

    She had a kid (step brother) and didn't take her birth control and got pregnant with my half brother to entrap my dad into marrying her. Both my brothers were ****ing douchebags too.

    Single parent women are usually quite determined to settle down so make sure birth control is your responsibility and you keep your condoms hidden so holes can't be punched into them until you are absolutely certain she isn't going to try anything (should take more than a year).

    I know I probably shouldn't give advice like this since I'm 19 and don't have personal experience with this kind of situation but whatever lol.

    OP is 30, i'm thinking he might be ready to settle down too!
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  11. #11
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    eat the baby
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  12. #12
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    Originally Posted by loveforlife View Post
    OP is 30, i'm thinking he might be ready to settle down too!
    Yeah but I doubt he wants to be forced to settle down lol.
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  13. #13
    devil may care kineticforce's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by loveforlife View Post
    OP is 30, i'm thinking he might be ready to settle down too!
    age has nothing to do with it...if he was 25 or 50 - same sh(t goes through your head. Dude wants to go out with a girl who has a kid - how would you approach it if one of your buddies was going through the same scenario
    Originally Posted by Will.i_am View Post
    Yeah but I doubt he wants to be forced to settle down lol.
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  14. #14
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    Originally Posted by dw300 View Post
    Lol, could well be the case!

    Thanks for the pointers guys, i'll maybe update this thread later.
    at least you know she puts out.
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    Your experience with a women with a kid will be WAY different than a single lady (meaning no kids). This is definitely something more serious and finding someone to settle down, for her. There is absolutely nothing wrong. Give it a shot! Talk about everything, kids, life, etc... nothing wrong. If you keep dating her, keep the kids out of the relationship until you know for sure what you want. Kid deserves to harm, just the two of you.



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  16. #16
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    Just be aware that she will put the child first. She may have to cancel dates at short notice if he/she gets sick or whatever, or if she's let down by a sitter, and she won't be able to just take off at the weekends - being a parent causes a big lack of freedom.

    Personally I would not date someone nowadays who doesn't have his own children, because childfree guys often don't understand. I had an ex who couldn't get used to the idea that I couldn't just drop everything and go out.
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  17. #17
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    Don't do it. Too many women out there that don't have kids, that aren't looking for a step-dad to raise another man's child. Why the hell would you date a girl with a kid?

    There's just too much drama there, why waste both your time?
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    I'm dating a girl that has a 3yr right now. I got to know her for who she is and what she is. I have been with her for about 2 months, known her for over a year and have yet to meet her daughter.

    Let it be known to her that you want to know her first and then when you feel comfortable with the situation that you can meet her family (daughter and stuff). I normally go over after she puts the kid to sleep to have some me and her time.

    if you want to be with her, you'll find a way to be with her. Going out with a girl with a kis isn't as horrible as many think it is brah.

    on a side note...imagine how hard it would be for you to find an understanding women if you were a single father of 1 or 2 children. wouldn't you want the girl to get to know you for you first?
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    Originally Posted by Thy_Kingdom View Post
    Don't do it. Too many women out there that don't have kids, that aren't looking for a step-dad to raise another man's child. Why the hell would you date a girl with a kid?

    There's just too much drama there, why waste both your time?
    Totally agree but the final choice Its yours budy.You are the one going who is going out with her chosse wisely and good luck.
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  20. #20
    devil may care kineticforce's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Thy_Kingdom View Post
    Don't do it. Too many women out there that don't have kids, that aren't looking for a step-dad to raise another man's child. Why the hell would you date a girl with a kid?

    There's just too much drama there, why waste both your time?
    somewhat right - but it really depends on the kids age... if the girl is 24 and has a 7 year old its different than a 24 y.o with a 1 month/year old. HUGGGGEEE difference. Even a 3/4/5 year old is different than a 1 year old.

    She is gonna get out and date - nothing wrong with looking for love.....
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    The way I see it, its not the kids fault. If you're gonna be a cool dude and compliment her and the kids life than go for it. If you're gonna be an ******* and be nice to the kids to get in moms pants thats you're choice. A lot is to be said about a man who can enter a kids life and get a mother to trust him. It's pretty much the norm today. I'm seeing a girl who is 28 and has an 8 year old. Its a blast. It freaked me out at first but when you meet a match what can you do. Besides, I bypassed diapers, bottles, teething, 3am crying and she's at the age where she can talk back to her mom for my entertainment. I'll never be dad, but I'm cool with that. Life's a journey dude. And don't listen to anything life or emotionally related on a forum.... Its about whatever the hell you wanna do.
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    Registered User happywithit's Avatar
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    I have become pickier than ever when it comes to dating guys now that I'm a single mum. I'm usually doing the dumping too.

    I certainly don't want a man to play dad or bring up my child. He has a dad to do that, but I do want a good role model in a long term partner. Not some unsettled guy who doesn't know what he wants (typical male so I am pretty much FA in the romance department) Probably more so because I have a boy.


    Ask her questions about the kid. Reassure her you are interested and want to understand.
    I don't have problems, I have situations.
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    SWOLEBRO Vitalero's Avatar
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    depends what is your intentions , getting to know her and be a couple? or just hook up
    1. I'm sorry if i hurt you
    2. It wont happen again
    3. 1&2 are lies
    4. You're a pu$$y
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    They definetely try to strap you down as most men don't want to raise someone elses seed. If you are unsure what you want from the relationship then tell her straight up "there does not have to be a expectation with regard to where this goes, lets take it slow and see what happens". Pay close attention to how she deals with the father. If its ugly, then beware IMO. Also brush up on child support laws in your area, you prepared to pony up if things worked out and then ended?

    You don't talk about the kid unless she does IMO. If she is half decent, she won't rush you into meeting her kid either. Rightfully so, you don't just introduce your kids to just anybody.

    On a good note, MILF's make you feel taken care of. Make sure the bedroom door has a lock. Have had kid come in and say "mommy whats wrong" as she was squeeling a little louder than she should have been .
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    I'm sure youngarab has sound advice he is willing to offer you.
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    Originally Posted by gregoryb89 View Post
    The way I see it, its not the kids fault. If you're gonna be a cool dude and compliment her and the kids life than go for it. If you're gonna be an ******* and be nice to the kids to get in moms pants thats you're choice. A lot is to be said about a man who can enter a kids life and get a mother to trust him. It's pretty much the norm today. I'm seeing a girl who is 28 and has an 8 year old. Its a blast. It freaked me out at first but when you meet a match what can you do. Besides, I bypassed diapers, bottles, teething, 3am crying and she's at the age where she can talk back to her mom for my entertainment. I'll never be dad, but I'm cool with that. Life's a journey dude. And don't listen to anything life or emotionally related on a forum.... Its about whatever the hell you wanna do.

    Nice 5 year bump. Negged.
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