I see it day after day and just don't know what's going to become of our society. But without good sound adults role models today's kids don't stand a chance of growing up to be responsible citizens.
Today I saw both parents smoking over their small children. And a total stranger had to remind them that they need to do better. It's a sad chain of events. Here's more:
Poor Parenting: Recognizing Poor Parenting Skills & How to Change
... understanding what is not good enough in terms of raising children can help you learn what is. Below is a list that I have compiled about the types of behaviors that constitute bad parenting. That said, if you recognize yourself in the words below, do something about it. Attend my parenting class or read my parenting book where you'll learn how to overcome the negative aspects of your upbringing so you don't pass them on to your child.
Poor Parenting Checklist:
1. Parents who fail to connect with their children and engage them on their level. Some parents do not do so because they don't know how; others because they are indifferent parents. If you do not know how because you did not enjoy a close, loving relationship with your parents, this is a skill that you can learn. If you just don't care, then this may be a defense mechanism that can be helped through therapy. 2. Parents who are too busy to spend time with their kids. If you'd rather stick your child in front of a t.v. or computer screen, then you're missing the opportunity to get to know your child and learn how he or she sees the world. Although you may not realize it, children have as much to teach us as we have to teach them. 3. Parents who hit, scream or humiliate their kids in an effort to get them to behave. Although this may be how your parents treated you, choose not to pass on the torch of dysfunction. Children do not need to be treated poorly, so they can learn. Punishment only teaches children what not to do, rather than teaching them what to do. 4. Parents who react to their kids and believe that their kids make them behave in ways that are harsh or cruel. While it's true that children trigger poor parenting behavior, they can only bring out in you what is already there. This is your cue to stop the cycle of abuse and create change in your family by working on your parenting skills.
The word "poor" in the phrase "poor parenting" indicates impoverished (or uninformed) behavior on the part of the parent. What this means is that you were not nourished as a child with good, healthy treatment by your parents probably because they did not possess these skills. Although we're not taught how to be good parents, we can learn and we can rise above our upbringing. Rather than feeling guilty, take action now. Acknowledge that you have some things to learn and open yourself up to new ways of being and responding to your kids. Read my parenting book to learn what your parents couldn't teach you. In it, you'll discover how to connect with your children and help them express their inner strengths. Be the change you want to see in your family and you will find a reservoir of strength within you and the courage necessary to create a new legacy for your children.
Author: Laura Ramirez
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The Ancient One* Holder of the Standard Repository of all Knowledge and Wisdom
Were you hoping for discussion on a particular aspect of this? You seem to have just copied and pasted a description of a parenting book.
No, I made a testament then presented evidence to support it. Your challenge would be to pick one or more of those things that applies to you and confirm or deny it.
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You mad You frustrated You angry You upset You unhappy You Discontent You annoyed You disturbed You furious You infuriated You going bananas You unbalanced You berserk You crazed You frenzied You unsound You irate You raging You wrathful You heated under the collar?
~~~ South Park Crew ~~~
"If it hurts me I can only imagine what the guys feeling on the ground. "
No, I made a testament then presented evidence to support it. Your challenge would be to pick one or more of those things that applies to you and confirm or deny it.
Well...not really. You didn't really provide evidence for anything. It's kind of just an outline from the inside of some book's dust jacket. I don't have children so I can't confirm or deny the book's claims in a meaningful way on my own. It's just that this thread seems not to have a point that I can decipher. What is it that you want to discuss? Anything that anyone has to say about the few sentences from an outline of a book that have been reproduced for us here?
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'Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.' --Plato
'Nobody is equal to anybody. Even the same man is not equal to himself on different days.' --Thomas Sowell
Peter: Lois, um, go get the medical dictionary and look up 'fork' and 'lung.'
Lois: Why?
Peter: Time is a factor, Lois.
All teens live off there parents, some have jobs just so that they can buy 120$ pair of jeans.
Just like education, fitness as ronnie said
"Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder but nobody wants to lift no heavy ass weights,"
Every kid wants to be a ceo, make 500k a year and train ufc, but nobody wants to go through all the stuff.
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You mad You frustrated You angry You upset You unhappy You Discontent You annoyed You disturbed You furious You infuriated You going bananas You unbalanced You berserk You crazed You frenzied You unsound You irate You raging You wrathful You heated under the collar?
~~~ South Park Crew ~~~
"If it hurts me I can only imagine what the guys feeling on the ground. "
Well...not really. You didn't really provide evidence for anything. It's kind of just an outline from the inside of some book's dust jacket. I don't have children so I can't confirm or deny the book's claims in a meaningful way on my own. It's just that this thread seems not to have a point that I can decipher. What is it that you want to discuss? Anything that anyone has to say about the few sentences from an outline of a book that have been reproduced for us here?
On the contrary, there enough is that to write a 5 page paper on. So stop debating semantics and PICK one!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moh7
i think its a problem of dicipline.
All teens live off there parents, some have jobs just so that they can buy 120$ pair of jeans.
Just like education, fitness as ronnie said
"Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder but nobody wants to lift no heavy ass weights,"
Every kid wants to be a ceo, make 500k a year and train ufc, but nobody wants to go through all the stuff.
It's definitely a problem of discipline. The question is whether it's for the children or their parents.
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The Ancient One* Holder of the Standard Repository of all Knowledge and Wisdom
It's definitely a problem of discipline. The question is whether it's for the children or their parents.
It makes no sense to blame children, because ultimately children are the products of the parents who made them. Both a child's nature (genetics) and nurture (upbringing) is an inheritance of their parents. It's foolish to blame a 6 year old for misbehaving, its the lack of discipline and possibly poor genetics that is the cause. Until you reach the age of 14 or 15, self-regulation/self-discipline is not realistic. You need external regulation and discipline, otherwise you will never learn to self-regulate, even when you reach adulthood.
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The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. -Mahatma Gandhi
People most readily believe that which they can believe most conveniently. - George Orwell
Power always thinks... that it is doing God's service when it is violating all his laws. - John Adams
I think that children behavior as a whole isn't a problem that needs fixing. Every generation thinks the next generation are a bunch of lazy do-nothings.
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Satanic Super Soldier Alliance 2009.
I think that children behavior as a whole isn't a problem that needs fixing. Every generation thinks the next generation are a bunch of lazy do-nothings.
Agreed.
Does anyone remember when they were kids, hearing older folks say things like "Kids these days, nothing like before, they are worse, we used to walk 30 miles in 22ft snow against the Earth's rotation every morning at 4 am to school, etc..."?
Well, no sh*t kids of this generation are different from previous, that's how it's always been. It's a different world that's constantly evolving and changing so we are changing with it, why would the kids be any different.
However from the previous gen to the present, one of those changes is even less dicipline, the parents are less diciplined and the kids are too.
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Does anyone remember when they were kids, hearing older folks say things like "Kids these days, nothing like before, they are worse, we used to walk 30 miles in 22ft snow against the Earth's rotation every morning at 4 am to school, etc..."?
Well, no sh*t kids of this generation are different from previous, that's how it's always been. It's a different world that's constantly evolving and changing so we are changing with it, why would the kids be any different.
However from the previous gen to the present, one of those changes is even less dicipline, the parents are less diciplined and the kids are too.
I laughed. The part about the Earth's rotation was great. Also, I agree with the actual content of your post.
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'Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.' --Plato
'Nobody is equal to anybody. Even the same man is not equal to himself on different days.' --Thomas Sowell
Peter: Lois, um, go get the medical dictionary and look up 'fork' and 'lung.'
Lois: Why?
Peter: Time is a factor, Lois.
Unfortunately, many parents seem to believe their responsibility ends in the bedroom. I've met parents whose idea of entertaining their children is to sit them in front of the television. They don't want to be "bothered" playing with their kids. They are too busy to play, yet oddly enough find time to update Facebook, track their favorite sporting teams, and keep up with their favorite television shows.
How do kids go from laughing and playing at the park to becoming sedentary, overweight teens and adults? It certainly isn't natural. By nature, humans were born to move. Unfortunately, as children grow older, they are often encouraged to do otherwise. It's easier to plop your kid in front of the TV as opposed to taking him outside to ride his bike or throw the ball.
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I especially agree with #4 there Krane. I think lots of parents use violent punishment as a first resort rather than as a last resort. Secondly, many parents don't even bother explaining to kids WHY what they did was wrong...they just say "I told you not to and whatever I say is right"...and of course as kids get older they see right through that, especially if the parents engage in any sort of hypocrisy and do things themselves that they tell kids not to do.
This kind of behavior is also there in schools. By the time kids get to college, many of them simply stop questioning things. All throughout lower level education, my teachers would often say "don't correct me" if a student pointed out that the textbook said something the teacher said the opposite was or whatever, and the teacher might correct their mistake the next day but rarely that moment. They just didn't want their air of authority challenged even if it meant guiding kids in the wrong direction. If a kid would keep pressing that the text said something different from what the teacher said, the teacher would simply threaten to send them to the principle's office for "disturbing class."
Unfortunately, I see many adults, especially in positions of authority, abuse their power and simply follow a "might-makes-right" attitude. It's like they can't be bothered to genuinely help kids understand why certain things are wrong(or maybe sometimes they themselves don't know why they're wrong and do what their own parents did). Instead, they simply punish kids for asking questions. Furthermore, if a kid doesn't know WHY something is wrong, even if you punish them, they are likely to commit that action again in the future as long as they think they won't get caught.
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"...that's the great virtue of the free market, of the private market. It enables people...who hate one another...who don't speak the same language...who would fight one another if they had the chance, to cooperate economically. We were able to deal with China when China was a communist state. Even though we thought that that was a terrible arrangement, we could still cooperate. And that's what markets enable people to do. They bring freedom with them."
- Milton Friedman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoshSP1985
Fcked up parents raise fcked up kids (how could they do anything other than that)
Fcked up parents generally have more kids
/add some math
You get the idea
lol, basically
Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeByTheHorns
There are not enough ass whoopings and father figures.
Just one mans opinion.
Yeah I agree sometimes. I think there are some times when you should spank, but I also think that those parents that do spank, often overuse that method of punishment. I also think most parents don't bother reasoning with kids and telling them WHY something is wrong. They simply go "cus I said so" and leave it at that. They are basically teaching kids that violence is perfectly fine if you can win in that battle and that picking on weaker people is ok because you can get away with it.
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"...that's the great virtue of the free market, of the private market. It enables people...who hate one another...who don't speak the same language...who would fight one another if they had the chance, to cooperate economically. We were able to deal with China when China was a communist state. Even though we thought that that was a terrible arrangement, we could still cooperate. And that's what markets enable people to do. They bring freedom with them."
- Milton Friedman
The biggest problem with today's children is the misuse of ellipses.
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"...[T]he government of the United States is a definite government, confined to specified objects. It is not like the state governments, whose powers are more general. Charity is no part of the legislative duty of the government."
--James Madison
When I have kids, I'll have none of those for my kid, and I won't use any of them in front of him/her.
Sports, books, social interaction...good stuff.
Your kids won't have anyone to socially interact with, everyone else will be inside watching television and playing video games.
No, but seriously, has anyone else noticed this? When I was a kid we were always at the playground playing soccer/football/tag/just hanging out ont he monkey bars and what not.
There would always be people there so you'd just walk over and play until 7 or something then go home. Now it's empty, even though there's more kids in the neighbourhood(sp).
I think that children behavior as a whole isn't a problem that needs fixing. Every generation thinks the next generation are a bunch of lazy do-nothings.
So all the recent murders in schools is just a phase?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoshSP1985
Fcked up parents raise fcked up kids (how could they do anything other than that)
Fcked up parents generally have more kids
/add some math
You get the idea
Not the way I would have put it, but essentially correct.
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The Ancient One* Holder of the Standard Repository of all Knowledge and Wisdom
Your kids won't have anyone to socially interact with, everyone else will be inside watching television and playing video games.
No, but seriously, has anyone else noticed this? When I was a kid we were always at the playground playing soccer/football/tag/just hanging out ont he monkey bars and what not.
There would always be people there so you'd just walk over and play until 7 or something then go home. Now it's empty, even though there's more kids in the neighbourhood(sp).
Agreed.
I live near the area I grew up in. Growing up everyday there were kids playing, riding bikes, etc... on every street. Each street had it's own group or friends.
I go by there and you don't see 1 outside at all ever. Ever.
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Bulging_Biceps- "If people actually read the bible, they would know Rainbows are a sign from god. No, before the flood. Rainbows did not exist and Rain did not exist."
Bulging_Biceps- "Swine Flu vaccine contains LIVE H1N1 VIRUS!!!"
StinkerX- "Swine Flu Vaccines Contain LIVE H1N1 VIRUS!"
StinkerX- "It looks like police forces are occupying cities... can anybody confirm this?"
Yeah, cause there was no such thing as murders prior to 1990 right?
Is that the best you can do? There's a big difference between a random after school knife fight like those back in the 1950's and the calculated and premeditated mass murders perpetrated by today's much younger youth. Even in schools where fights are plentiful, they at least have some connection to an incident or a disagreement of some sort.
Conversely, the wanton killings like those committed at Columbine are a totally new level of violence committed by a much younger crowd. If you cannot see the dramatic difference between those two, then you're ignoring the true problem and it's seriousness at how it damages all of society.
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The Ancient One* Holder of the Standard Repository of all Knowledge and Wisdom
Is that the best you can do? There's a big difference between a random after school knife fight like those back in the 1950's and the calculated and premeditated mass murders perpetrated by today's much younger youth. Even in schools where fights are plentiful, they at least have some connection to an incident or a disagreement of some sort.
Conversely, the wanton killings like those committed at Columbine are a totally new level of violence committed by a much younger crowd. If you cannot see the dramatic difference between those two, then you're ignoring the true problem and it's seriousness at how it damages all of society.
Anthony Barbaro
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"...[T]he government of the United States is a definite government, confined to specified objects. It is not like the state governments, whose powers are more general. Charity is no part of the legislative duty of the government."
--James Madison
Although, I shouldn't have to make your argument. Nevertheless, this incident points more toward homicide due to mental illness than anything else. So it's still not the same as what I'm talking about.
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The Ancient One* Holder of the Standard Repository of all Knowledge and Wisdom
Although, I shouldn't have to make your argument. Nevertheless, this incident points more toward homicide due to mental illness than anything else. So it's still not the same as what I'm talking about.
Yes, Columbine wasn't homicide due to mental illness. Perfectly sane people shoot up their school. Your point that it is a "new" type of violence is false, as I demonstrated.
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"...[T]he government of the United States is a definite government, confined to specified objects. It is not like the state governments, whose powers are more general. Charity is no part of the legislative duty of the government."
--James Madison
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