Post ED, Pre Bulk. Need Advice.

**DanMan2k06** · 10-19-2009, 09:53 PM

Well I'm finally getting myself back on my feet, mentally and physically. Due to recent events (past 4-6 months) I went into a state of severe depression. This then triggered what some might categorize as anorexia. I didn't purposely not eat, but food just didn't look appetizing anymore. My calorie intake cut to probably 1/8 of what it should be, and well, I lost a LOT of weight, VERY quickly. In a matter of 2-3 weeks I went from a clean cut 152+/- to 129.6 (lowest I ever measured). Energy went out the window, and muscle and fat went with it.

So here I am today, after going on a bulk diet for the past week (3000 calories, no exercise). I've gained 8-10 consistent lbs. Last week you could see about twice as many muscles as you can now. This week I will be doing the same diet, with some simple, but intense bodyweight exercises just to get my body used to exerting force again (haven't worked out in about a year). Monday Oct. 26 marks my official start date. I will have a set lifting program by then, and be lifting/bulking as hard as I possibly can to regain some mass, and then some. My target is 155lbs of clean muscle, while staying lean yet retaining a healthy amount of fat. I feel right now it is still too low.

I'm looking for your guy's opinions. Looking at my body, what should I focus on first? Any guess as to my body fat %? I'm guessing around 9% but that's just an estimate. Any tips or advice would be awesome. This would be the one time where I want your honest opinions - so don't be scared to judge.

Let the revolution begin...

Oh one more thing, don't mind the rash (mostly on my chest). I switched laundry detergents, and had an awesome allergic reaction says the dermotologist.

**almostbigtim** · 10-19-2009, 10:21 PM

eat and be mary. go to the basics. dead lifts, squats , and bench. I would love to train you for 6 mounths and see the results. I know how bad it is to fell depressed. I have the other problem of eating when I am. Hang in there Bro.

**StressMonkey** · 10-19-2009, 10:23 PM

Originally Posted by DanMan2k06

Oh one more thing, don't mind the rash (mostly on my chest). I switched laundry detergents, and had an awesome allergic reaction says the dermotologist.

This stuff (Tide Free) is your friend. It has no dyes or perfumes for that very reason.

**DanMan2k06** · 10-19-2009, 10:36 PM

Haha if only I had found out about that stuff a couple days ago!! Yea depression sucks, but I'm glad I sought help for it as soon as I did. I still can't believe how fast your life can come crashing down when you're not in the right state of mind. I've since improved ten fold, and I'm hoping that focusing on lifting and gaining some weight will be a positive release for me. Thanks for the comments guys, keep it coming!!

**DanMan2k06** · 10-20-2009, 09:12 AM

Crossed over the 140 mark this morning, pretty pumped about that. scale read 141.2, it'll probably go odwn throughout the day, but to wake up to that was exciting. 15lbs to go...

**CoryJP** · 10-20-2009, 09:16 AM

I would focus mostly on the shoulders and lats to help widen you up, good luck

**SuperJuiceman** · 10-20-2009, 09:42 AM

what did you do to come out of the depression?

**DanMan2k06** · 10-20-2009, 02:20 PM

Got help. The first two weeks of it were the worst. I couldn't think, couldn't work, couldn't eat, was in tears whenever I was alone, it was unbearable. After talking to a good friend about it all, I decided I needed some professional help. I saw a counsellor once, sometimes twice a week, and things slowly improved. Once I was semi-stable, I was recommended a psychiatrist and discussed medication. I had always been against it, but thought at this point I don't think it would have made anything worse. So I tried it. Started low dose and slowly moved up until I could actually feel it kick in and wear off. Then went back down to the next lowest does. This seemed to be the final stage in getting my mind straight. Definitely not a cure, but it kind of gives you a little more emotional armor so to speak. I would say without a doubt having one person who will be there to listen to you, was the biggest help.

Now that I'm out of it, I try and stay busy whenever I can. Lifting should take up any time that would otherwise be free. It's when you're alone, or have nothing to do that you start thinking about things you shouldn't, and your mind starts eating itself.

Would any of you guys be willing to help me put together a weekly routine via PM? It's been a long time since I've hit the gym, I feel like I'm starting from ground zero all over again. Thanks for the replies!

**DanMan2k06** · 10-20-2009, 09:18 PM

Well I've been thinking about what I want to accomplish over the next 6 months, and how to get there. I think realistically I'm going to have to do a bulk/cut routine. Nothing severe, but my metabolism is through the f'ing roof. I just don't think there's any way I will be able to put on pure muscle with little fat, and still consistently gain weight.

So I'm looking to do a moderately clean bulk to 160, maybe 165 tops. Then cut down to my target weight of 155, and maintain it from there. I think it will be a lot more effective than trying to get to 155 without any fat gain.

My focuses will be primarily on (in descending order):

-Shoulders/delts
-Chest (PECS!!)
-Arms
-Back (primarily traps and lats)
-Abs (have always been a pet-peeve of mine, but come relatively easy)
-Legs (least of my worries at this point)

I haven't added in my protein supplements yet, but it will start on Monday as well. I'm just trying to get as much natural food weight back as I possibly can. Topped out at 142 today

still happy to be climbing. Time to start putting together the routine and finding my numbers again...

Any comments would be awesome.

**DanMan2k06** · 11-01-2009, 10:37 AM

Ummm quick update. Since I started logging on here I've been eating like a garbage disposal and working out. I've put on 16 solid lbs. My goal was to recover from 130 to a healthy 155 and maintain that weight.

Well, I can say right now, that is NOT going to be enough. I guess my skeleton is just way too big for my body or something lol. But I really can't even tell a difference where the weight went. Another ten lbs would be awesome, but I think realistically to look proportional I need to be at 175.

I'll post up some 1-2 month pics up but like I said, even though I gained 16 lbs you can't tell a difference at all...

**keley** · 11-01-2009, 02:16 PM

I was in the same boat as you brah, I got down to 152 from 268 I took my weight loss to an extreme and didnt want to get fat again, but I had no energy, i would fall asleep at work all the time and almost lost my job. but then I found this site and been able to eat normal again and put on some weight I feel alot better and stronger. yes some of it is fat but some of it is muscle, I know that the fat will come off easier the more muscle you have. keep it up brah if you need any advice pm me.

**DanMan2k06** · 11-08-2009, 10:34 PM

Well guys, I think it's safe to say that I've definitely been making progress. I feel like nothings changed, but after taking some pics in the same stances, I've actually noticed a LOT. This is about 2.5 months into my bulk. Put on about 18 clean lbs, and still need probably another 25-30 before I lose the "skeletor" status LOL. I think most of it went to my stomach/core (where my organs needed it most...), and a little to my back. Thanks for all the tips and encouragement so far. I can't tell you how good it feels to be free of anorexia...

**DanMan2k06** · 11-08-2009, 10:36 PM

And just for reference here are the before pics, in the same order/stance.

**neoquest2000** · 11-08-2009, 10:45 PM

Looking healthier compared to the first pics. Great job

**DanMan2k06** · 11-08-2009, 10:50 PM

Thanks, it feels a hundred times better. It sucks not really being able to see your progress as much as others. But at the same time, knowing that I gained almost 20lbs back is motivation enough to keep going, whether I can see it or not! Patience is a virtue...

**lgnlint** · 11-08-2009, 11:56 PM

make sure to take a good multivitamin, being anorexic and probably dehydrated for so long takes a toll on your vitamin and mineral reserves.

**DanMan2k06** · 11-19-2009, 08:49 AM

AWESOME. Now that I can finally imbed pics I thought I would do a little comparison that's easier to see.

Changes may seem minor, but like said earlier I'm pretty sure 50% of the weight I gained went to just surrounding and protecting my organs/joints etc.

Here I am, a little over 2 months ago at 129.6

And today, weighing this morning at 152.1

Camera settings are F'ed, still trying to get that down. Most notable changed I think are at my shoulders my the tips of my collar bones, and my stomach.

**djfroggy** · 11-19-2009, 02:10 PM

I notice your gains mostly around your collar bone and shoulders. In the before pics you can see a bone sticking up, and the after pics it is not there.

Your elbow joint is another place I notice gains - before they were knobby looking, after they look normal. Also in your arms, you shoulder to elbow used to dip in a lot, and now is flatter.

Good gains, brother.

**ThrusH** · 11-19-2009, 03:38 PM

Keep it up man! You're on pace to be looking like Pete a few years from now!

**DanMan2k06** · 11-19-2009, 08:10 PM

Yea that was one of the biggest thing I noticed. The clavicals sticking up above my shoulders. I bet a good whack and they would have just snapped.

Thanks for the responses guys, means a lot. I've found some SUPER tasty nutritious (and completely FOOD based) gainer recipes that seem to really help in getting the right nutrients.

**93CivicSi** · 11-19-2009, 08:43 PM

just outta curiosity what were the past events that caused you to go into depression? if you dont want to post it public.. can u plz pm me.. thanks.

**Diskd** · 11-19-2009, 08:47 PM

Wow man, you're really filling in fast - notice gains in chest and arms especially

Keep on eating like a fiend, dont be afraid to raise that BF% a little! Great job so far

**DanMan2k06** · 11-19-2009, 09:10 PM

Thanks fellas! To be honest, I'm surprised I haven't added more BF by now. I regulate my diet closely, but not competition status lol.

**93CivicSi** · 11-19-2009, 10:23 PM

Amazing progress.. keep it up!

**baco_bacon** · 11-21-2009, 08:17 PM

Incredible progress. I too was anorexic a couple years ago, and I just started lifting August/September.

Depression sucks, I was only 12 at the time and I know how it feels

Keep it up man, you haven't gained much fat at all.. I think it's safe to say practically everything is solid muscle!

repped

**DanMan2k06** · 11-21-2009, 09:13 PM

12?! Wow that's really early. I've had Dysthymia since probably high school, but never really realized it until this past year. A few recent events turned it into full on major depression. That's when the food supply was cut off.

I've been eating like a tank, almost every 2 hours just trying to keep my stomach full. When I get hungry, I know I've waited a little too long. Seems to keep the lbs coming steadily. Milk is my savior. I usually go through 3/4-1 gallon of whole per day

so tasty...

Thanks for the comments guys!!!

**baco_bacon** · 11-21-2009, 09:42 PM

Originally Posted by DanMan2k06

12?! Wow that's really early. I've had Dysthymia since probably high school, but never really realized it until this past year. A few recent events turned it into full on major depression. That's when the food supply was cut off.

I've been eating like a tank, almost every 2 hours just trying to keep my stomach full. When I get hungry, I know I've waited a little too long. Seems to keep the lbs coming steadily. Milk is my savior. I usually go through 3/4-1 gallon of whole per day

so tasty...

Thanks for the comments guys!!!

well, 12-13 years old actually.

That's insane :] How many calories are you intaking on average?

**DanMan2k06** · 11-21-2009, 10:39 PM

My maintenance seems to hover right around 2500 these days. So during the week I try and keep it between 2800-3000. On weekends it's probably more like 2600 because I'm always out, but weekdays are pretty steady.

**VAnick** · 11-22-2009, 08:19 AM

good progress man.

A good routine would be the "beginners routine" sticky on the forums here.
However, I think whatever you are using now is working.

Depression is a bitch, but a sexay body will make it better haha.

At this rate I'de say another couple months will have you looking great (no homo haha)

**DanMan2k06** · 11-22-2009, 01:44 PM

I originally planned on starting with Rippetoes, but wanted to get "re-aquatinted" with the gym first before I put myself on a set program. So I would go in, do a few light free-weight exercises, work on bench form, that kinda stuff.

Before I knew it the numbers started increasing. FAST. most noticeably the flat bench. The first day back (in about 3 years) I weighed 130, and could bench 135, one rep. Now that's what I do my 3x5's with

I still might lock in to Mark's program and follow it start to finish, but I am also looking at other options/routines as well. My goal is to have a 100% nailed down routine and diet by Christmas, and be at my goal weight (165-70) by my birthday next summer (June) with as little fat as possible. In a healthy manner.

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