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  1. #1
    Registered User Num3n's Avatar
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    What the **** do i do guys.... couldnt get hard for my gf (her first time) (serious)

    We have been together for two months and im her first so thats a bit nerve racking as i dont want to ruin her first time. Iv only been with 1 other girl before her so i have a bit of experience. Anyways, so iv gone down on her a few times but she says she hasnt been ready for sex. SOOOOOO anyways, iv been patient and waited 2 months and last friday we plan a day together, dinner and movie after i finish my leg/shoulder day at the gym. So anyways i finish up at the gym and im super super tired but we head back to my place

    we get there, start kissing and playing around on the couch. She then says, lets go upstairs to your room. I say... "bleh, im not really in the mood, like i am but im not at the same time"... she says "lets just go up to your bed to cuddle and take a nap". i end up saying ok as i was really in the mood for a nap especially after an intense leg day.

    so we get to the bed, and we fall asleep for a bit but then we both start getting back into it, i start fingering her and she starts rubbing me off. Now here is where it starts to go bad. I allowed this to continue knowing that i wasnt in the mood because i didnt think she would want to have sex yet. so i was caught off guard when she said "im ready".... Now at this point i was semi hard... like 70%... but nowhere near full potential and i didnt want to be anything but rock hard for her first time. So at this point i start to freak out in my mind....

    as i dont want to disappoint her i jump off her and say ill brb to get a condom. My plan was to go to the bathroom and jack myself off to get hard... HOWEVER to my everlasting dismay.... I couldnt get hard. idk what it was, if it was the caffeine i had before my workout or the fact that i only had 5 hours of sleep and a 2 hour leg day - or a combination. So i start to sweat like mad, just thinking "holy ****ing **** i cannot believe this is happening".... I hadnt had sex for roughly 7 or 8 months at this point so i was pretty nervous getting back into it all...

    so as im jacking off, my chest and arms start to go crazy red from all the blood flowing into the area as i was really tensed and sweating. veins started to pop out etc.... having a mad fap i couldnt get myself hard.... i then tried splashing cold water on myself... that failed... i then said, 1 sec i need to drink something. i ran downstairs and had some chocolate milk (thought the sugar might help somehow.. :\ ).. then as that didnt help i thought about calling someone for help, idk what someone would say but i was horribly desperate... as a last ditch effort i jumped in the shower and put on super cold water and stood freezing under it for 30 seconds or so.... that failed miserably as well.

    anyways, as i was gone for like 5 minutes, i walked back upstairs in my underwear and just started to whine and complain like a bitch about how i wasnt feeling good and how i felt really bad. then she starts to make fun of me saying how there was a hot naked girl in my bed and i couldnt get hard........ christ almighty....... (shaking my head irl as i write this).. I think she said that though because she was partially embarrassed that she couldnt get me hard.

    anyways, now im having severe performance anxiety problems, thinking about it all day etc... Just had a bad dream as well about it (which is why im up at 3:30 writing this looking for advice)... I have no idea what to do.... I researched about viagra but its definitely not recommended for teens as almost every single teen who takes it gets hard all day for ridiculous reasons like the touch of underwear or any slight touch at all... thinking about girls for even a second.. etc

    Im sort of hesitant about seeing a doctor but i think that the embarrassment of seeing a doctor is the lesser of two evils.. the other being failing at getting hard again in front of my gf.... especially as shes a virgin and doesn't really know much about guys, just the stereotypes...

    so.... please any suggestions.


    tl;dr:
    - hot and very cute virgin gf in my bed
    - tired from leg day, 5 hours sleep, caffeine before workout
    - tried to get hard but could not, even tried to fap to get hard
    - FUUUUUUUUUUUUU
    - srsly depressed, and thinking about it freaks me out
    - feel incredibly beta....
    - cant stop thinking about it, causing severe psychological distress
    - what the **** can i do?




    *sorry no pics of gf

    *im going to stop fapping completely... i think porn has completely desensitized me to girls... :\
    Last edited by Num3n; 10-18-2009 at 03:46 AM.
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  2. #2
    Zep Head erdons's Avatar
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    you know how I know your gay.....


    you were just not into it in the first place, you probably got a bit nervous because you thought about it too much.. at the point when she said i'm ready you could have asked her to blow you to get you nice and lubricated......
    Last edited by erdons; 10-18-2009 at 03:45 AM.
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  3. #3
    Registered User sherenk's Avatar
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    There is always next time. Sleep well, try again tomorrow.
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  4. #4
    Registered User Num3n's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sherenk View Post
    There is always next time. Sleep well, try again tomorrow.
    but now its even worse because i think im going to **** it up.... and what if i do.. what then? she will think there is something wrong with me... :\
    "Think you of the fact that a deaf person cannot hear. Then, what deafness may we not all possess? What senses do we lack that we cannot see and cannot hear another world all around us? What is there around us that we cannot know?" ~ OCB, Paul Atreides/Frank Herbert

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  5. #5
    Zep Head erdons's Avatar
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    Just quit over thinking it and you will be fine... if you keep thinking about it then good luck ever getting to plow away like you are supposed too...
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  6. #6
    Registered User Num3n's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by erdons View Post
    Just quit over thinking it and you will be fine... if you keep thinking about it then good luck ever getting to plow away like you are supposed too...
    but what do u suggest i do if it happens a 2nd time and 3rd... and 4th.... etc?


    Originally Posted by erdons View Post
    you know how I know your gay.....


    you were just not into it in the first place, you probably got a bit nervous because you thought about it too much.. at the point when she said i'm ready you could have asked her to blow you to get you nice and lubricated......
    she was rubbing me off, im pretty certain a bj wouldnt have made a difference. and i was a tad bit nervous but for the most part i didnt think about it.
    "Think you of the fact that a deaf person cannot hear. Then, what deafness may we not all possess? What senses do we lack that we cannot see and cannot hear another world all around us? What is there around us that we cannot know?" ~ OCB, Paul Atreides/Frank Herbert

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  7. #7
    Zlatan Ibrahimovic. SiMON2g's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Num3n View Post
    but now its even worse because i think im going to **** it up.... and what if i do.. what then? she will think there is something wrong with me... :\
    Get her to blow you next time you do, once you realise you can do it you won't have a problem again. I think you're just over reacting.
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  8. #8
    Registered User FullSack's Avatar
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    nerves will destroy boners, **** happens man, get her to blow you next time
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  9. #9
    Registered User tanner1's Avatar
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    would you mind posting pics of said hot cute virgin gf?
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  10. #10
    Registered User Num3n's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SiMON2g View Post
    Get her to blow you next time you do, once you realise you can do it you won't have a problem again. I think you're just over reacting.
    bleh what you guys arent understanding is that i wasnt nervous... I was only nervous 2 minutes after the fact that i realized i wasnt getting hard.

    Originally Posted by tanner1 View Post
    would you mind posting pics of said hot cute virgin gf?
    i dont have fb unfortunately and i dont keep pictures of her on my pc
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  11. #11
    Registered User sherenk's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Num3n View Post
    but now its even worse because i think im going to **** it up.... and what if i do.. what then? she will think there is something wrong with me... :\
    Dude don't think about it.

    You were tired from exercise, high on caffeine, low on sleep, and fapped to the max on porn. WTF do you think is going to happen. Men are not always in the mood as portrayed. Rest nice, don't stress yourself about such a thing. If she is close to you, she will understand the situation.

    Concentrate on classes and other things for a few days and get ready to bang her.
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  12. #12
    Zep Head erdons's Avatar
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    you are thinking about it too much, the fact that she is a virgin and you have only been with one girl doesn't give you guys too much experience. Her virginity was clearly on your mind and instead of concentrating on smashing that tight little pussy you were too worried about doing things right and making her first time great and you being good in bed. Your still not very experienced so its going to be a little hard to get into f*cking mode, but give it some time and you will start to get the hang of things...
    Last edited by erdons; 10-18-2009 at 04:07 AM.
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    Registered User tanner1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Num3n View Post
    bleh what you guys arent understanding is that i wasnt nervous... I was only nervous 2 minutes after the fact that i realized i wasnt getting hard.



    i dont have fb unfortunately and i dont keep pictures of her on my pc
    son...i am disappoint

    how often do you fap? if you fap often then try going a long time, say a week without doing it, you will be rock hard
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  14. #14
    Registered User Num3n's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by tanner1 View Post
    son...i am disappoint

    how often do you fap? if you fap often then try going a long time, say a week without doing it, you will be rock hard
    well i attempted no fap October... so i went without it for like 15 days... then i caved and fapped a ton.. 2 times a day for a few days.. but i hadnt fapped for a full day before this incident.

    and i agree, as i said in my op im going to completely stop. I hope it helps.. To be honest in those 15 days i went without fapping i didnt really notice an increase in erection strength or frequency. but im going to try anyways


    *anyways im going to go to bed for now, thanks for all the help guys. Will check back tomorrow for new posts... and i plan on updating with new info soon
    Last edited by Num3n; 10-18-2009 at 04:17 AM.
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    Bro, basically the same thing happened to me. Though at the time we were both virgins. Same bathroom incident, same trying to jerk off/freaking out thing and i just couldn't do it. It was at like 1am and I was way too tired.

    Seriously, don't worry about it. Do it tomorrow night (thats what we did and it was all good) and don't feel embarassed about it. Who cares. You didn't get hard because:

    1) You were tired
    2) You were nervous coz it was her first time
    3) You were even more nervous coz you weren't hard
    4) You were tired (again)

    Lol, you are 19. Don't worry about it.
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  16. #16
    Registered User EatItRAW92's Avatar
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    Hey man, no sweat, got this with my girlfriend as well!

    I have had sex with my previous gf and no problems there. But this one was a virgin and after about a month she said she wanted to have sex with me, so I wasted 2 condoms because I couldn't get hard, I was jacking myself but I couldn't get it up, after a while it did went up for a little while, but it didn't fit in her vagina so we spent about half an hour trying to get her to be relaxed enough etc to take it in. Had real sex with her about a week and a half afterwards haha. Did have some performance problems yes, especially premature ejaculation.

    But after a week or two this all went away and we don't even remember it now.
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  17. #17
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    Same thing hapenned to me. I got hard for the first ten minutes but went limp after penetration. It was not anxiety because I banged a chick a day before. She wa a 8.7 milf... So I couldn't get it up a d there was no next time=fail.

    Here Are your options!
    1-no fapping 5-7 days before
    2-Viagra or cialis in combo to no fapping
    3- hopefully you blow quick women hate long boring sex
    4- put on tv/background music
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  18. #18
    Registered Blunt Cruiser poolshark472's Avatar
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    Dude....whatever you do, just stop thinking about it RIGHT NOW. You're 19, you're a young buck, and you keep in shape. There's nothing at all wrong with you physically. All guys have been in your situation at some point.

    Believe me, you have no idea how much influence your mind can have over your penis. Just shake this one off and you'll be ready for her next time.
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  19. #19
    Registered User vin_nz's Avatar
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    wait for morning wood and then destroy her.
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  20. #20
    Physicist in Training Fire8085's Avatar
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    OP, leg day=bad sexors day. Brush it off and maybe take it easy on the wheels until she's ready again.

    I promise you will be 100% better, don't worry! Also, get some sleep, tired+legs worked out=bad combo.
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  21. #21
    caught you mirin Devils's Avatar
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    Chill out man, it happens.

    You were nervous as hell, relax and hit her when you're fresh.
    Reverse Dieting from Low bodyfat and Bulking log > http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=154107931
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  22. #22
    Registered User G-Profit's Avatar
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    this happened to me a while back bro, except it was just a random hookup

    I couldn't stay hard, combination of alcohol, being exhausted, not having eaten all day, and sh!tty condoms lol. I was able to stay hard and eventually cum from dome tho, and I got her off during foreplay so its not the end of the world.

    You're 19 and she's your gf, don't worry about it brah.
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  23. #23
    Registered User Num3n's Avatar
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    thanks for the replies brahs, has given me relative piece of mind reading all of them
    "Think you of the fact that a deaf person cannot hear. Then, what deafness may we not all possess? What senses do we lack that we cannot see and cannot hear another world all around us? What is there around us that we cannot know?" ~ OCB, Paul Atreides/Frank Herbert

    "If you want to ride the ultimate wave, you have to be willing to pay the ultimate price." ~ Mark Foo
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  24. #24
    Registered User rob_oz's Avatar
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    don't worry about it man happens to the best of us from time to time. just don't stress about it,

    if it is a on going problem i think the last thing you probably need are drugs, sounds like more of a mental thing.
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  25. #25
    Registered User _Marcus_'s Avatar
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    threadjacked kinda...

    tips on premature ejaculatinz?
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  26. #26
    Registered User JAWS22's Avatar
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    Just wanna shuck this out there ^__^ if shes a virgin, 70 percent hard is not a bad idea. It will be more comfortable and you can get harder while she adjusts.
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  27. #27
    Registered User genesismachine's Avatar
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    Wow. I was reading this facepalming and laughing my ass off the whole time. I mean, I sympathize and I would give advice if I could, but just think of this as one of those situations where you may not find it funny now, but later you will laugh your ass off about this.
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  28. #28
    i love eggs GoutDeMiel's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Num3n View Post
    (shaking my head irl as i write this).. I think she said that though because she was partially embarrassed that she couldnt get me hard.
    not gonna lie.....probably one of the worst feelings ever.
    domari nolo
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  29. #29
    Registered User lizzylamb's Avatar
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    You're overthinking this. Just try again next time
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  30. #30
    acquire aesthetics NOFX ORTIZ's Avatar
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    If you want an intense boner mix a couple tbs of pure cayenne pepper into water and make a little cayenne tea.

    I would down that **** like a madman and my whole body will feel flushed, 5 mins later i feel fine and at any slight stimulation to my junk i'd be rock hard. works (srs)
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