We have been together for two months and im her first so thats a bit nerve racking as i dont want to ruin her first time. Iv only been with 1 other girl before her so i have a bit of experience. Anyways, so iv gone down on her a few times but she says she hasnt been ready for sex. SOOOOOO anyways, iv been patient and waited 2 months and last friday we plan a day together, dinner and movie after i finish my leg/shoulder day at the gym. So anyways i finish up at the gym and im super super tired but we head back to my place
we get there, start kissing and playing around on the couch. She then says, lets go upstairs to your room. I say... "bleh, im not really in the mood, like i am but im not at the same time"... she says "lets just go up to your bed to cuddle and take a nap". i end up saying ok as i was really in the mood for a nap especially after an intense leg day.
so we get to the bed, and we fall asleep for a bit but then we both start getting back into it, i start fingering her and she starts rubbing me off. Now here is where it starts to go bad. I allowed this to continue knowing that i wasnt in the mood because i didnt think she would want to have sex yet. so i was caught off guard when she said "im ready".... Now at this point i was semi hard... like 70%... but nowhere near full potential and i didnt want to be anything but rock hard for her first time. So at this point i start to freak out in my mind....
as i dont want to disappoint her i jump off her and say ill brb to get a condom. My plan was to go to the bathroom and jack myself off to get hard... HOWEVER to my everlasting dismay.... I couldnt get hard. idk what it was, if it was the caffeine i had before my workout or the fact that i only had 5 hours of sleep and a 2 hour leg day - or a combination. So i start to sweat like mad, just thinking "holy ****ing **** i cannot believe this is happening".... I hadnt had sex for roughly 7 or 8 months at this point so i was pretty nervous getting back into it all...
so as im jacking off, my chest and arms start to go crazy red from all the blood flowing into the area as i was really tensed and sweating. veins started to pop out etc.... having a mad fap i couldnt get myself hard.... i then tried splashing cold water on myself... that failed... i then said, 1 sec i need to drink something. i ran downstairs and had some chocolate milk (thought the sugar might help somehow.. :\ ).. then as that didnt help i thought about calling someone for help, idk what someone would say but i was horribly desperate... as a last ditch effort i jumped in the shower and put on super cold water and stood freezing under it for 30 seconds or so.... that failed miserably as well.
anyways, as i was gone for like 5 minutes, i walked back upstairs in my underwear and just started to whine and complain like a bitch about how i wasnt feeling good and how i felt really bad. then she starts to make fun of me saying how there was a hot naked girl in my bed and i couldnt get hard........ christ almighty....... (shaking my head irl as i write this).. I think she said that though because she was partially embarrassed that she couldnt get me hard.
anyways, now im having severe performance anxiety problems, thinking about it all day etc... Just had a bad dream as well about it (which is why im up at 3:30 writing this looking for advice)... I have no idea what to do.... I researched about viagra but its definitely not recommended for teens as almost every single teen who takes it gets hard all day for ridiculous reasons like the touch of underwear or any slight touch at all... thinking about girls for even a second.. etc
Im sort of hesitant about seeing a doctor but i think that the embarrassment of seeing a doctor is the lesser of two evils.. the other being failing at getting hard again in front of my gf.... especially as shes a virgin and doesn't really know much about guys, just the stereotypes...
so.... please any suggestions.
- hot and very cute virgin gf in my bed
- tired from leg day, 5 hours sleep, caffeine before workout
- tried to get hard but could not, even tried to fap to get hard
- srsly depressed, and thinking about it freaks me out
- feel incredibly beta....
- cant stop thinking about it, causing severe psychological distress
- what the **** can i do?
*sorry no pics of gf
*im going to stop fapping completely... i think porn has completely desensitized me to girls... :\