Was this an "alpha" response?

[greg_84]

Back story:
Good friends with girl for a number of years,
I ended up getting feelings for her at a time we were both single.
Told her
She didn't feel the same
didn't talk for months
talk to her occasionally now...

This response, I really don't care, I have moved on and have been with girls who are way more fun and make me feel like a fool for ever catching feelings for her in the first place.. Never said anything like that to her cause I feel the best revenge is to be happy without, but this opportunity seemed too good to pass up... keep in mind this happened 2 years ago now, and have been quite happy since and have learned from being burned.

[jcl556]

i'm in the same situation you are, except, i just cut off contact with my friend a few days ago after i told her that i couldn't be around her if she didn't feel the same way i did (tried hanging out with her after telling her i liked her, and this time i just faced reality).

whatever is alpha is whatever YOU want to do, cuz that means this girl or someone else isn't influencing your decision.

just curious, were you as toned as your profile pic when you confessed feelings for her, or have you improved yourself since then and maybe she's like "awww **** this guy was pretty good lemme see if he'll take me back".



i think though sometimes you just gotta burn them as bad as they burned you for them to realize what they walked out on. feels good brah. in the end all that really matters is that you're confident and improved enough to not even need her, so let her know the truth and just stand tall.

[jkd_stefan]

alpha response wouldve been no response

[RMHSLB]

that actually was pretty good

[greg_84]

Originally Posted by jcl556

i'm in the same situation you are, except, i just cut off contact with my friend a few days ago after i told her that i couldn't be around her if she didn't feel the same way i did (tried hanging out with her after telling her i liked her, and this time i just faced reality).


just curious, were you as toned as your profile pic when you confessed feelings for her, or have you improved yourself since then and maybe she's like "awww **** this guy was pretty good lemme see if he'll take me back".

yeah it sucks brah, at the time it was the worst thing ever.

I've always been in good shape... maybe a couple percent higher than now, but I don't pollute my facebook with shirtless pics, so I doubt that's it

Originally Posted by jkd_stefan

alpha response wouldve been no response

Yeah I considered that, but she wouldn't have remembered sending it anyways, so all would have been null in the morning

[Tipys]

HAHAHAHAHAHA


I have gotten that **** before. It was always in person though. So I never had anything in writing. **** I wish I would have would have made it more fun.

[soccer10stud]

in4 response

[onebigc]

Cliffs:
-This was just a feeler question and not a literal request to answer the question.
-You took the dramatic route to punish her when she didn't need punishing.

I get the "why didn't she want me then and screw her now" thing but look at it this way:

1) She could just be testing the waters to see how things would be now and you definitely threw that in her face. People change, especially when you are in your early 20's, and perhaps things could work this time. I don't know what your situations are BUT you didn't leave the first time on bad terms.

2) I don't see how 'having class' equates to ignoring her. She didn't hurt you before

Having class would be, if you are interested, to ask her how things have changed or, if not, then say that you have 'moved on and are not interested in restarting the past'.

Basically sounds like you put your personal vendetta of being rejected the first time as the only reason you are rejecting her now. Teenage drama and que toby Keith how do you like me now song.

3) Why should she be banging her head? She was straight up back then about why she didn't want to be exclusive to you (distance, no car, being pressured etc) which are ok reasons especially when you are young... most girls don't explain anything. RH advice would be to not get into long distance relationships. She didn't do anything nasty to you like cheat or slander you in public. See #1.

Edit: She's desperate and needs a backup boyfriend. You should have just said 'I asked and you said no. I'm over it and not going back'.

[Cynic09]

She asked why and he gave her a reason.

If anything, I don't think I can picture myself going for somebody that rejected me in the past. Grudge or no grudge, it'll feel like I'm crawling and is would indicate a lack of lack of self respect on my part or as the guys would say, Beta of me.

I do agree that OP could've avoided putting the "Class" thing in there so as to prevent it from looking like he held a grudge against her or is bittered. But regardless, he was straight to the point. He's moved on. Her time is pasted.

Girls do this all the time, so whatever.

GJ OP.

[xvicknumber7x]

That was ****ing sweet dude. I don't care who else says it was beta/alpha/whatever, that was sick.

[crystallinentity]

Originally Posted by soccer10stud

in4 response

Me too. I wanna hear what she says to that.

[jcl556]

it's creepy greg how similar our situations are.

i was really good friends with this girl for 2 years and started liking her after 1. we were closer 2. she got cuter. she didn't feel the same way and the way she told me was pretty close to what your email reads, except this girl was a virgin and never had a bf before and liked to stay single. it wasn't until i talked to her via friend's AIM that she said she was never physically attracted to me in the first place (despite that her best friend thinks i'm attractive and has flirted with me before).

she said though that if we hadn't mutually friendzoned each other for close to two years something might have been able to work out since she likes who i am etc etc, but i just got tired of the BS and now i'm focusing time on just improving myself and moving on (maybe i'll stay friends with her?)

but damn, looks like your future might become mine lol

[greg_84]

Originally Posted by onebigc

3) Why should she be banging her head? She was straight up back then about why she didn't want to be exclusive to you (distance, no car, being pressured etc) which are ok reasons especially when you are young... most girls don't explain anything. RH advice would be to not get into long distance relationships. She didn't do anything nasty to you like cheat or slander you in public. See #1.

Edit: She's desperate and needs a backup boyfriend. You should have just said 'I asked and you said no. I'm over it and not going back'.

Believe me it wasn't that simple as in a one time thing. I said it once, she said she didn't know, and strung me along for months, drunk texting me to come over, make out, never close the deal on numerous occasions. It was in university so the no car thing she was thinking about the future...

If it was a straightforward answer the one time, I wouldn't have been bitter for months afterwards and I would have respected that and just ignored her, that was one email of about a hundred MSN convos, facebook messages, talking in person things that went on. So I felt like it was justified.

[Spaghettii]

Originally Posted by greg_84

Believe me it wasn't that simple as in a one time thing. I said it once, she said she didn't know, and strung me along for months, drunk texting me to come over, make out, never close the deal on numerous occasions. It was in university so the no car thing she was thinking about the future...

If it was a straightforward answer the one time, I wouldn't have been bitter for months afterwards and I would have respected that and just ignored her, that was one email of about a hundred MSN convos, facebook messages, talking in person things that went on. So I felt like it was justified.

what a dumb bitch. i think she just wants you now and just saw you as a friend before.

nomsayin? its like, you got attractive all of a sudden.

[greg_84]

Originally Posted by jcl556

it's creepy greg how similar our situations are.

i was really good friends with this girl for 2 years and started liking her after 1. we were closer 2. she got cuter. she didn't feel the same way and the way she told me was pretty close to what your email reads, except this girl was a virgin and never had a bf before and liked to stay single. it wasn't until i talked to her via friend's AIM that she said she was never physically attracted to me in the first place (despite that her best friend thinks i'm attractive and has flirted with me before).

she said though that if we hadn't mutually friendzoned each other for close to two years something might have been able to work out since she likes who i am etc etc, but i just got tired of the BS and now i'm focusing time on just improving myself and moving on (maybe i'll stay friends with her?)

but damn, looks like your future might become mine lol

All I can suggest is concentrate on what makes you happy, go out and meet new people if the opportunity comes up in the future, and she wants you, do what you want. I have moved on and clearly want nothing to do with this.

[xmarshhhhhh]

Good response bro, not beta at all (srs)

[YoMoMsB]

in 4 response

[BobbyHeinz]

pics of girl?

[The_Reaper]

I can't get the whole pic to load for some reason, so I only got half your response. Very bad move, in my opinion.


That stupid slut just wanted attention and an ego boost.

[greg_84]

Originally Posted by YoMoMsB

in 4 response

She cleared her FB status a couple hours ago and I got nothing.. not looking promising

Originally Posted by BobbyHeinz

pics of girl?

Nope, too many misc detectives and it's a small world.

Originally Posted by The_Reaper

I can't get the whole pic to load for some reason, so I only got half your response. Very bad move, in my opinion.


That stupid slut just wanted attention and an ego boost.

My response was far from an ego boost. Basically told her she had her chance, I've moved on, without actually saying so. She may have been looking for "let's hang out soon" or something like that... or at least a "yeah, too bad we didn't"

[S0VERE1GN]

in General, a decent response, a little too wordy for my taste though.

I would have used a bit more pith:
"too late"

[greg_84]

Originally Posted by S0VERE1GN

in General, a decent response, a little too wordy for my taste though.

I would have used a bit more pith:
"too late"

They were her words... that was the point

[darkshines]

I don't understand how a copy & paste of a "confused" (aka she didn't want to f**k/date you, but wanted to keep you as a friend) email she sent you a long time ago, that she now knows you have saved, is "alpha".

Maybe I'm just missing out on something, but I wouldn't have bothered replying at all. Waste of time & effort IMO.

[member67]

you come off as never actually healing from a girl rejecting/playing you..aka hurt puppy..not alpha in the least

in her eyes..she wanted some attention from you, got it, and is now satisfied

positive attention..negative attention..its all the same bro

[carlobee]

that was really a great response... although you could have kept it short, but whatever still alpha!

nice one there OP! and i'm also in for the response.