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  1. #1
    Registered User bodogen's Avatar
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    Very serious problem. GF threatens suicide (serious)

    First off, please respect the serious tag. Also, please don't tell me it was a mistake getting together with her in the first place given her past, as it doesnt help my situation.

    My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months. Things are getting pretty serious, and for the most part, things are great. I care about this girl a TON, we spend a lot of time together, and most of the time, I couldn't be happier.

    But when we fight and things get bad, they really get BAD. The other night we got into a very petty argument, which turned into her telling me how much I hurt her over something so small and the whole situation was blown way out of proportion. She told me how worthless I made her feel and even told me she felt like driving on the freeway and closing her eyes and killing herself. This is the 2nd time she has mentioned suicidal thoughts. Now...the bad gets worse

    She told me I don't realize how bad I make her feel and one day, I am going to kill her. She said one day, if I keep this up she is going to write a long suicide note BLAMING ME for leading her to kill herself and blaming me for how I made her feel, telling me I am going to have to live with that the rest of my life. I told her "dont ever threaten me like that" and she responded by saying "I just did."

    The scariest thing about this is...she has tried to commit suicide before, about 5 years ago and the only reason she is still alive today is because she was found completely knocked out, 911 was called and they were able to pump her stomach in time. I knew about this before we got into a relationship, but she seemed like a completely changed person

    I seriously do not know what to do misc. I know this is not a healthy relationship. I don't want to leave the girl because I care about her SO much. I don't want out of the relationship but I feel like I will be stuck in it or face having to live with the consequences the rest of my life. I need to find a way to change something because I can't live and go on knowing that this is always a possibility in the back of my head. Telling her parents isn't going to help because her parents are not the nicest people in the world and don't seem to care much about her (she told me when she woke up from trying to kill herself the first time, her mom told her "you want to die? go ahead and die!"), so that is not going to help. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

    Cliffs:
    -No cliffs...please read entire post. I need serious help here.
    Last edited by bodogen; 10-02-2009 at 11:41 PM.
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  2. #2
    ♦ ɴɣϲ ϲrew ♦ xmarshhhhhh's Avatar
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    Strong first post or u trollin brah?
    you need to end all relationship ties with this girl, if you're already arguing about petty things at such an early time in the relationship it's not meant to be
    and you need to let her know this, talk to her or have an intervention or some shyt.

    if that doesn't work call the cops on this chick
    or give her the suicide hotline
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  3. #3
    Registered User bodogen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by xmarshhhhhh View Post
    Strong first post or u trollin brah?
    you need to end all relationship ties with this girl, if you're already arguing about petty things at such an early time in the relationship it's not meant to be
    and you need to let her know this, talk to her or have an intervention or some shyt.

    if that doesn't work call the cops on this chick
    or give her the suicide hotline
    Im not trolling man.

    We argue about something small and it blows out of proportion. Even if I wanted to end it though, I don't think I could given the threats she has made. I don't want to live the rest of my life knowing that I caused someone to take their life.
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  4. #4
    ♦ ɴɣϲ ϲrew ♦ xmarshhhhhh's Avatar
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    True but at the same time you don't wanna give you're life to someone crazy, you need to enjoy life rather than have it confined into small petty arguments wiht a crazy person..

    try to talk to her seriously, is she close with her fam?
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  5. #5
    Registered User bodogen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by xmarshhhhhh View Post
    True but at the same time you don't wanna give you're life to someone crazy, you need to enjoy life rather than have it confined into small petty arguments wiht a crazy person..

    try to talk to her seriously, is she close with her fam?
    Shes not that close with her family. I added in an edit that her family isn't the nicest/most supportive family in the world. Her mom even told her when she woke up in the ER after trying to kill herself several years ago that if she wants to die, go ahead and die.

    So with that, I don't really think talking to them would serve as a viable option. They will probably just make the situation worse.
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  6. #6
    Registered User Lughd's Avatar
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    Get her into counselling...she needs some serious help. She's probably dealing with something from her past that you don't even know about. You can't really do anything to help her except to get professional help.
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  7. #7
    ♦ ɴɣϲ ϲrew ♦ xmarshhhhhh's Avatar
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    then you have to decide if you wana be in a serious relationship or not with this person mate..after you have done that you see what options you have.
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  8. #8
    spell of iron de_barathrum's Avatar
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    this is not a good situation to be in...

    first off, no matter how much you care about this girl, you have to realize that when she threatened you with her suicide she crossed a boundry from which she can never come back. as soon as she did that you have to see your relationship as over.

    the next thing you have to do is get her some professional help because she obviously has some very serious mental issues that need immediate care.

    also you have to realize that she is not your responsibility and her threatening you shows that this situation is far beyond you or your control. get her help and then get the hell out. staying in this relationship will only be bad news for both of you.
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  9. #9
    Registered User bodogen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lughd View Post
    Get her into counselling...she needs some serious help. She's probably dealing with something from her past that you don't even know about. You can't really do anything to help her except to get professional help.
    Originally Posted by de_barathrum View Post
    this is not a good situation to be in...

    first off, no matter how much you care about this girl, you have to realize that when she threatened you with her suicide she crossed a boundry from which she can never come back. as soon as she did that you have to see your relationship as over.

    the next thing you have to do is get her some professional help because she obviously has some very serious mental issues that need immediate care.

    also you have to realize that she is not your responsibility and her threatening you shows that this situation is far beyond you or your control. get her help and then get the hell out. staying in this relationship will only be bad news for both of you.
    I've tried to get her to do this/go talk to someone professional before but she refuses to. She said it makes her feel worse (she did counseling after the first incident) and says they just prescribe medications that make things worse and make her feel like ****.

    Thanks for the replies so far guys.
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  10. #10
    spell of iron de_barathrum's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bodogen View Post
    I've tried to get her to do this/go talk to someone professional before but she refuses to. She said it makes her feel worse (she did counseling after the first incident) and says they just prescribe medications that make things worse and make her feel like ****.

    Thanks for the replies so far guys.
    lol... you cant talk her into professional help. you have to FORCE her into professional help. tell the cops that she is threatening suicide and get her taken to a psych ward. there is zero tolerance for that type of behavior and more than anything... you dont want that in the back of your mind for the rest of your life in case she does something stupid on a whim.
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  11. #11
    Registered User Lughd's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bodogen View Post
    I've tried to get her to do this/go talk to someone professional before but she refuses to. She said it makes her feel worse (she did counseling after the first incident) and says they just prescribe medications that make things worse and make her feel like ****.

    Thanks for the replies so far guys.
    So instead she's just going to be a psycho who threatens to kill herself anytime something doesn't go her way? Sounds like it makes perfect sense.

    She's got problems, she doesn't want help...cut ties and move along. She'll only drag you down with her and it's not your fault if she kills herself regardless of what she might tell you.

    If she won't go to a counsellor and you aren't leaving her then you should at least go to a counsellor yourself. They might be able to give you advice to use to get her into counselling or give you the push you need to dump her toxic behaviours before they ruin your life as well.
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  12. #12
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    if you really care for her, do her a favor


    post a craigslist add saying " 18 year old cute girl looking for boyfriend. your pic gets mine"

    or if your girl is 19, say 19. i dunno how old she is

    next, make it a requirement for the guys to be under the age of 23

    next, find 3 guys and have all 3 of them meet up at the store on a certain day and meet all 3 guys and tell them that you have a girlfriend you are trying to leave and your just making sure they are not axe murderers.

    after you meet the guys, tell them to meet at the same place in 4 days and this time you bring your girlfriend along for a fake reason

    then you introduce your girlfriend to those 3 guys and say "alright honey here are 3 replacements i found for you before i break up with you. im breaking up with you right now but all 3 of these guys are willing to be your new boyfriend so feel free to talk to them and see if you like any of them. byeeeeee"


    it will let you leave her and she wont commit suicide. chances are she will be so pissed off at you for leavnig her she will instantly want to suck one of the new guys cocks and have sex with him to "get back at you" then once she bangs him she will fall in love with him and she will forget about you and then she will become his problem



    well played sir, assuming you follow my expert advice
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  13. #13
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    she's obviously got some type of ****ed up personality disorder, run like the wind
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  14. #14
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    OP = I dont want to leave her because I care so much BUT...



    Me = You should leave her because...



    OP = BUT...




    Me = She's a crazy bitch...





    OP = But...




    Me = Dude please move on...




    OP = No but seriously I care so much...




    Me = .............................




    OP = Respect the serious tag.




    Me = Then leave her.




    OP = But I don't want to



    Me = GTFO then.
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  15. #15
    possessor of balls pedrolima's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dave P View Post
    OP = I dont want to leave her because I care so much BUT...



    Me = You should leave her because...



    OP = BUT...




    Me = She's a crazy bitch...





    OP = But...




    Me = Dude please move on...




    OP = No but seriously I care so much...




    Me = .............................




    OP = Respect the serious tag.




    Me = Then leave her.




    OP = But I don't want to



    Me = GTFO then.
    reading my thoughts brah
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  16. #16
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    Everyone is saying SHE need shelp (she does)... but I'm afraid at this point, you have been sucked into a seriously sick co-dependent thought cycle that has left you in the same level of sanity as a suicidal person. You need to get some help for you... you can't change or control her- but you can learn where your own burden ends.
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    Good luck with this one, bro! She definitely needs proffessional help, one way or the other. But you can't let her emotionally abuse you like this forever. If she doesn't want help, or to get better, then you need to move on and hope she won't do anything bad to herself. If she does, it was her choice and not your fault. Everyone makes choices.
    Last edited by AvatarOfFrost; 10-03-2009 at 03:06 AM.
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  18. #18
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    Her threat is an obvious attempt at control. By giving in to her threat, you are giving her control of your life. If you are unwilling to extricate yourself from this situation, then you need to find some way to get both of you into counselling.
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  19. #19
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    Her threatening suicide is a form of abuse. (serious)

    The relationship is not healthy for you nor her.

    Call someone A.S.A.P.

    At least talk to an officer or find out if he has information that he can give you in order to get her help.
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  20. #20
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    Dont time to respond right now. Leaving this as a reminder.
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    Registered User Brad777's Avatar
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    if she wont seek counseling do relationship counseling. Ive done it before and it turned out being a way for my wife to vent and get help about her past mom issues mostly. it turned out to be her just getting counseling and then me to give little pushes to opening up as well as like an outside perspective on her personality/actions.
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    VANCOUVER CANUCKS FUK YEA MAGnitude's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bodogen View Post
    First off, please respect the serious tag. Also, please don't tell me it was a mistake getting together with her in the first place given her past, as it doesnt help my situation.

    My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months. Things are getting pretty serious, and for the most part, things are great. I care about this girl a TON, we spend a lot of time together, and most of the time, I couldn't be happier.

    But when we fight and things get bad, they really get BAD. The other night we got into a very petty argument, which turned into her telling me how much I hurt her over something so small and the whole situation was blown way out of proportion. She told me how worthless I made her feel and even told me she felt like driving on the freeway and closing her eyes and killing herself. This is the 2nd time she has mentioned suicidal thoughts. Now...the bad gets worse

    She told me I don't realize how bad I make her feel and one day, I am going to kill her. She said one day, if I keep this up she is going to write a long suicide note BLAMING ME for leading her to kill herself and blaming me for how I made her feel, telling me I am going to have to live with that the rest of my life. I told her "dont ever threaten me like that" and she responded by saying "I just did."

    The scariest thing about this is...she has tried to commit suicide before, about 5 years ago and the only reason she is still alive today is because she was found completely knocked out, 911 was called and they were able to pump her stomach in time. I knew about this before we got into a relationship, but she seemed like a completely changed person

    I seriously do not know what to do misc. I know this is not a healthy relationship. I don't want to leave the girl because I care about her SO much. I don't want out of the relationship but I feel like I will be stuck in it or face having to live with the consequences the rest of my life. I need to find a way to change something because I can't live and go on knowing that this is always a possibility in the back of my head. Telling her parents isn't going to help because her parents are not the nicest people in the world and don't seem to care much about her (she told me when she woke up from trying to kill herself the first time, her mom told her "you want to die? go ahead and die!"), so that is not going to help. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

    Cliffs:
    -No cliffs...please read entire post. I need serious help here.

    she needs to see a physciatrist or even a mental unit in a hospital and get serious help.

    attempting to kill urself and failing is a cry for help, and that help needs to be adressed asap.

    from what ive seen and heard, some people who say they have attempted suicide have only taken enough pills to knock them self out temporarily (and sometimes pills that are ineffective- which causes further problems ie. kidney failiure etc..), knowing that when they wake up in hospital after gettin their guts pumped (if needed) is a way of saying i need help, without actually saying it out loud.

    people who really want to die and attempt suicide rarely fail unfortunately, especially when using meds, because they know exactly what to take, and if u have the right cocktail, sometimes it doesnt matter how many pills u take. u definately dont want her to get to this stage

    thats why she neeeds to get prefessional help asap.
    Last edited by MAGnitude; 10-04-2009 at 04:13 AM.
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    Registered User bodogen's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the replies, Ive read them and am considering each peice of advice you guys have given.


    With the vast majority of you suggesting getting out and others counseling, my next question is how do I approach getting myself out of this situation? I understand like some of you said that no matter what she says, its not my fault what she does...but I cannot live with that on my conscience. If she is threatening suicide over a small problem, what is going to happen if I ended things? I think it will push her over over the edge. With any other girl, I see your point (Dave P, pedrolima and others). But with someone who HAS attempted suicide before and was rushed to the hospital to get her stomach pumped, I feel like things have to be approached a lot differently and I can't just up and leave like a normal relationship. So what approach do I need to take? Should I start distancing myself?
    Last edited by bodogen; 10-03-2009 at 09:36 AM.
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    You can't live your life letting people hold you hostage dude.



    Thats how you end up wasting the best years of your life learning lessons the extremely hard way and hating yourself when you're older.


    Thats the only advice I (or anyone) can give. No one knows her well enough to give you the perfect way of getting out but you need to pull out of that sh!t.
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    Creepy Cliffer OMGaGURL's Avatar
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    1. Break up with her.
    2. Call police for possible suicide threat.

    She did all of this in only 6 months? Imagine what it will be like once she gets comfortable that you won't leave her. The fights may get worse. The threats may become more frequent. If you don't find a way out then you'll feel trapped eventually. Dave hit the nail on the head... its not a real relationship if you have to be "held hostage" in it. Find a way out and stop making excuses for yourself not manning up in this situation and excuses to overlook her depressing behavior. She needs help and simply being with you and fighting with you isn't enough for her to iron out those extreme emotional issues she has.
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    Keep going The_Reaper's Avatar
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    What a worthless disgusting bitch. I suggest you f*cking kill her instead.
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    Originally Posted by The_Reaper View Post
    What a worthless disgusting bitch. I suggest you f*cking kill her instead.
    But make it look like a suicide...

























    Seriously: get her help, and you too.
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    Registered User petitpowerhouse's Avatar
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    Whats with chicks saying they are going to commit suicide over a guy???
    In all seriousness it sounds like she has other emotional problems that were around long before you got there. Whatever it was that made her upset shouldn't be enough to kill herself over, she has probably had suicidal thoughts before and emotional problems before, a boyfriend of however long doesn't suddenly manifest these feelings.
    She needs help, you're not the problem, but you may be flaring up these emotions for her. I'm willing to bet my left arm she has a ton of other issues going on that she needs to work out. If she has a plan like what you described, you need to call a suicide hotline and explain her plan and her reasoning, because she is AT SERIOUS RISK. Do not take it lightly and try to get her help.
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    ♦ ɴɣϲ ϲrew ♦ xmarshhhhhh's Avatar
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    Never had a bitch say they're going to say they're goin to commit suicide over me
    probably czu they were somewhat normal?

    but i think if she's pullin this suicide shyt she knows ur gonna fall for it and she's gonna keep u in her claw, but u need to break out of this shyt now
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    Originally Posted by petitpowerhouse View Post
    Whats with chicks saying they are going to commit suicide over a guy???
    In all seriousness it sounds like she has other emotional problems that were around long before you got there. Whatever it was that made her upset shouldn't be enough to kill herself over, she has probably had suicidal thoughts before and emotional problems before, a boyfriend of however long doesn't suddenly manifest these feelings.
    She needs help, you're not the problem, but you may be flaring up these emotions for her. I'm willing to bet my left arm she has a ton of other issues going on that she needs to work out. If she has a plan like what you described, you need to call a suicide hotline and explain her plan and her reasoning, because she is AT SERIOUS RISK. Do not take it lightly and try to get her help.
    what she said. hit the nail right on the head.



    I myself unfortunately lost someone that was like my big sister to suicide (RIP Lehela). No signs doesn't even seem like the her at all. I was even there other times when she had talked other friends out of killing themself. I still believe there was someone else in that room. But my point is you can't blame yourself if she does choose this route.
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