How to HELP Fail Friend (nerd)

koreanizm · 09-26-2009, 06:17 PM

I usually like to go out on the weekends and let loose but I also enjoy seeing my friends have fun.

Recently, I was invited to a bday party in LA (tonight) and invited my friend to come. He agreed but knowing his history of flakiness, I was a bit wary.

Now the day comes and I don't get any call or questions regarding the meeting time so I finally call him and he tells me hes not going to go because he feels uncomfortable. I was pretty peeved because he didn't give me a heads up but let it go because its his decision.

He's 26 and never dated, kissed, held a girls hand in his life. He works than comes home and plays game and on the weekend its anime/games. I know this cannot be normal and I know there only so much I can do.

Inputs?

CLIFFS:

-Friend flakes on clubbing
-Friend never had a gf, held a girls hand, kiss, sex0r
-Friend plays works than plays game all day (weekends are a gamefest)
-Inputs on how to somehow help him (hes 26)

BeerPongin · 09-26-2009, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by koreanizm

I usually like to go out on the weekends and let loose but I also enjoy seeing my friends have fun.

Recently, I was invited to a bday party in LA (tonight) and invited my friend to come. He agreed but knowing his history of flakiness, I was a bit wary.

Now the day comes and I don't get any call or questions regarding the meeting time so I finally call him and he tells me hes not going to go because he feels uncomfortable. I was pretty peeved because he didn't give me a heads up but let it go because its his decision.

He's 26 and never dated, kissed, held a girls hand in his life. He works than comes home and plays game and on the weekend its anime/games. I know this cannot be normal and I know there only so much I can do.

Inputs?

CLIFFS:

-Friend flakes on clubbing
-Friend never had a gf, held a girls hand, kiss, sex0r
-Friend plays works than plays game all day (weekends are a gamefest)
-Inputs on how to somehow help him (hes 26)

True story, tell him you're taking him someplace he wouldn't have a problem with going to. (video game store, anime place if there is such thing because i really dont know, comic book store, etc.) take him to a party, and then be a good ass wingman for him.

Bones98 · 09-26-2009, 06:27 PM

is ur friend good looking?

If your friend thinks he's ugly, try to boost up his confidence.
I usually tell my friends, "hey, bro. I'm not gay and I can straight up tell that you're a good looking mofo, so there's nothing to worry about, man."

UrbanNomad · 09-26-2009, 06:30 PM

You gotta explain to him that he has to get outta his comfort zone, he doesn't wanna go out and do things because he's much more comfortable sitting at home and playing games. He has to get out there, even though it'll be tough, and learn not to take things so seriously. You're gonna have to sort of push him all the way on this one, I had 2 friends like that, its really frustrating, but me and my other friends made them comfortable. So if you guys go clubbing, don't ditch the guy, you gotta try to get him to talk to girls, etc etc etc. You just gotta know that its gonna be at the expense of your own fun if he's a total buzz kill.

xvicknumber7x · 09-26-2009, 07:21 PM

Well, first of all, does he even want your help? If I read the OP right, I don't see him asking for it. Maybe he is happy with his current situation and doesn't define himself by the number of chicks he hooks up with.

Mr Beer · 09-26-2009, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xvicknumber7x

Well, first of all, does he even want your help? If I read the OP right, I don't see him asking for it. Maybe he is happy with his current situation and doesn't define himself by the number of chicks he hooks up with.

This. If he doesn't care, why should you?

Brad777 · 09-26-2009, 07:33 PM

as long as he is good looking, if he has potential then get him in shape, face/body/hair/style
then get him out there you have to make him really believe he can meet woman and have alot of fun with them and actually make a connection with some. a club wouldnt be a good choice unless hes a secret dancer. hopefully he does like to drink and opens up a little more when he does, take him out to bars and you gotta be the one to start conversations. hopefully you do well talking to a group of girls if not maybe you guys got a friend that can start up a conversation with anyone and make a whole group laugh. now you told him to follow your lead so you strike up the conversation and tell him to pick out one girl and start talking to her one on one. If he is good looking then tell him to just smile at women in the bar/where ever you're at and if a girl smiles back at him make him go talk to her. give him some pointers on what to say. also direct him to some forums that give tons of information on how to pick up chicks. im sure he has social anxiety too so depending on how severe maybe some meds would help.
anyway... it is his choice and he has to want it, maybe if you make him believe he can be with a girl if he follows your advice.

Brad777 · 09-26-2009, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xvicknumber7x

Well, first of all, does he even want your help? If I read the OP right, I don't see him asking for it. Maybe he is happy with his current situation and doesn't define himself by the number of chicks he hooks up with.

unless hes gay he should want to be with a chick by the time he is 26, not even a kiss! or holding a girls hand, even a hug feels great when you havent touched a girl for awhile. thats not defining yourself by numbers, maybe hes happy with his current situation but sounds more like he is depressed/social anxiety
humans are social beings its not right to not have social interaction, although maybe he chats with girls on the internet and thinks that is working for him. he just has a twisted view then because the real thing is so much better heh.
what is his job

MadeUnderground · 09-26-2009, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xvicknumber7x

Well, first of all, does he even want your help? If I read the OP right, I don't see him asking for it. Maybe he is happy with his current situation and doesn't define himself by the number of chicks he hooks up with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Beer

This. If he doesn't care, why should you?

Was wondering the same thing.

koreanizm · 09-27-2009, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadeUnderground

Was wondering the same thing.

I have known him since HS and he has not had 1 single solid conversation with a woman.

Also, I know he cares because he goes tells me he goes to church on Sundays to meet women (supposedly).

And no hes not good looking

omglazer · 09-27-2009, 03:38 PM

how is he still your friend at 26