Not that any of the misc will care about this.... but I think it's time for me to put my foot down and take over my social anxiety (in particular around women). So I've decided to make a journal of my attempts to become more sociable and better around women.
Some background: I've always been a rather quiet guy who lacked some confidence when it comes to interacting with peers. I'm 22 and I've never had or even tried to get a girlfriend (never really approached or talked to girls). So yes I'm a virgin. I think that my lack of social expression is partly due to previous, rather difficult/traumatizing, life experiences that kind of forced me into some sort of social isolation. I won't go into too much detail here because it was posted in the depression support thread: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpo...&postcount=155
Some background about me
To summarize I was born with a very severe skin condition; one of the worst cases my doctor had ever seen. I was covered in very visible, horribly itchy, oozing/weeping, repulsive skin lesions. So needless to say my childhood and teen years were tough. Throughout public school and high school I was repelled/rejected/ridiculed by my peers. These experiences put me into chronic depression and reaped away virtually all of my self confidence. Ultimately I was forced into some sort of social isolation. Thankfully my skin condition resolved by my third year of undergrad (primarily due to, what I believe, was a combination of will power and altered philosophical outlooks on life). But despite being cured, those previous experiences still left some sort of scar on my personality that renders me rather anxious and timid around people.
I also lack some confidence in my general appearance; I'm rather unattractive facially with bad skin; I have acne blemishes, rosaceous type changes, oily but dry skin at the same time and a large nose.
Enough is Enough.
So anyway? I've gone being introverted and socially retarded for too long. I want to be more outgoing; I want to expand my social support network; I want to make more friends; I want to be better with girls, but if I don't TRY to allow people to get to know me, then I can never achieve these goals. Now I may not be facially attractive, but I can't let my lack of confidence in my appearance prevent me from even TRYING to get a girlfriend or getting friends. At the end of the day if I don't try then, then I will never overcome this problem. So I need to at least give myself a chance.
The question is HOW do I overcome that anxiety? How do I move from the contemplation phase to the action phase? How do I get myself to finally TAKE ACTION and put myself into more social situations? I (and many other people in the same boat as me) know that that most important step in overcoming social anxiety is to just put yourself out there and start talking to more people; the only way to become more comfortable and skilled in social settings, is by getting more experience or practice in such settings. But despite knowing this, it's so hard to finally take the action; most of the time, I always come up with reasons or excuses not to talk to people or go to that party etc.
The Plan
So I've come up with an method to try and solve this issue: I am going to try to engage random people in conversations by approaching them with creative, random approaches and approches that incorporate internet memes. I will record these encounters with a body worn hidden camera and post them for my misc brahs for a) lulz b) criticism and suggestions. I'll be primarily approaching girls since they are the most intimidating to me at the moment. I figured that if I can somehow make the actual process of talking to/approaching people a creative, self-expressive, potentially funny, stress relieving endeavour itself, then I would be more inclined to approach people in general; I'd be more motivated to expose myself to social settings. I think that this would go a long way into getting me into that action phase and giving me more experience, skills and confidence in social settings. The great thing about this is even if I fail at picking up that chick or making that new friend (one of those fears that prevents people with social anxiety from even trying), then at least I had fun trying.
Now I've already tried this out a few times... and dudes...I must say...I already feel a lot more comfortable and confident around people! Now I still have a lot of work to do, but at least I don't fell as nervous and scared when approaching others... girls especially! Also, I'm having a blast! I've never felt more outgoing before! And believe it or not the vids you will see shortly are the MOST I've ever talked to a girl (not including working on school projects) in my life! (remember I've never approached girls EVER). I think that this is the best self-therapy for anyone with social anxiety.
So anyway? I'll be posting my interactions as I do them?. So hopefully my misc brahs can offer me some suggestions, criticisms and so on. I'd be willing to try to combine any misc meme into a pick up line approach for ****s and giggles by the way.
Now the audio quality on the body worn camera is pretty crappy because of the vocal fremitus from my body and the excessive backround noise... I'm trying to find ways around that for future vids... but for now I included some transcriptions of the conversations in the more difficult to hear vids.
CLIFFS :
22 year old virgin who has never had a gf or even approached girls
Socially anxious for most of his life and minimal friends because of it
Enough is enough... i'm still young and i want to get over this ****...
decided to create a journal were i engage random people with random approaches (including misc memes) and I record the interactions with a body worn hidden camera. The rationale is that by making the approach process fun, creative etc... i will be more motiavted to actually get out and get some experience talking to people.
Want to get suggestions for approaches, critiques, etc... will be willing to approach random people with requested approaches from my misc brahs
will attempt to incorporate misc memes into pick up line approaches.
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in on malodrax thread
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Ok... do NOT try S my D in real life with people you don't know (epic fail)
^^^
Transcription:
Malodrax: Hi? I?ve been having a really bad day and I was wondering if you guys could do me a favour; I was wondering if you guys could S my D.
If we could what?
Malodrax: S my D
Ok I think probably it?s time for you to leave
Malodrax: Excuse me?
What are you? looking for?
Malodrax: I was just wondering if you guys could staple documents for me. You see I have an assignment due (it was actually do yesterday) and my supervisor is going to be in his office, probably for another hour, so I was wondering if instead of going home, someone could staple them for me so I could just run right to school and hand it in.
Why if it was due yesterday you?re handing it now?
Malodrax: Yea I just realized it. My day has been really bad and it just got worse about 5 minutes ago when I was searching through my bag for my water bottle and I found out that I hadn?t handed in my assignment. I actually find it kind of strange that you guys would threaten to kick me out of your store just because I asked you to staple my documents. I mean? either? did I offend you in any way?
Well you weren?t exactly clear in what your were asking.
Malodrax: You know what yea I do accept that? I do apologize? because you know S can mean a plethora of different things and so can D. I would have assumed that in this day and age with all the LOLs, PIITBs, brbs, everyone would understand the acronyms but I guess that?s a bit of a baseless assumption. But at the same time I don?t think you should have simply assumed that I was referring to something that you probably found offensive and you shouldn?t have acted on that assumption? In my opinion anyway.
Ok.
Malodrax: Can you please staple my documents for me?
Here.
Malodrax: Thank you (* staples the documents)
Malodrax: Thank you for offering to S my D and I just have one more question for you?.can you suck my dick?
Uhm no, get the hell out of my store
(* at this point Itried to provide an honest explanation of why I just did what I did lol : )
Malodrax: Ok now I have to explain myself. I?m a bit of weirdo ?
Really.
Malodrax: I do things to make myself laugh, so that was just a rhetorical question I didn?t expect an answer and I didn?t expect that either of you guys would have responded to that in any way. You see I am actually having a bad day and to relieve stress one of things I do is exercise and the other thing I do is to be spontaneous and natural and creative and go out and do whatever I want as long as I don?t hurt anyone or myself. And this little skit that I made was a way of expressing myself, trying to play with people?s minds a bit, see what their reactions are, I?m probably going to laugh at this when I get home, but yea? so that?s what that was. I didn?t mean to..
Ok I don?t think this is appropriate and I want you to leave right now and don?t come back
Malodrax: I think the problem is that you?re focusing on things in life that don?t really matter?
(*I wanted to get the whole meme in but then they picked up the phone and called security so I walked the hell out lol. Security then tracked me down and kicked me out of the mall for the night and told me that saying things like that could be grounds for "sexual harassment" even though I explained myself at the end and tried to apologize to them.)
Moral of the story: S my D does NOT work in person with random people you don?t know. So I?m not going to be trying that one again lol.
jus sayin that theres a lot of whores out there that'll S a D on looks alone, real easy bro.
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OP what the hell is wrong with u? Going into a store with a hidden camera? How the hell is this gunna make people like u more and wanna be friends with u? U r very strange
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OP what the hell is wrong with u? Going into a store with a hidden camera? How the hell is this gunna make people like u more and wanna be friends with u? U r very strange
dude... i gotta do what i've got to do to force myself into social interactions... It's been 18 ****ing years and i still can't get into the action phase...
this little idea of mine has allowed me to approach more people in 1 day that my whole freaking life....
Once i become socially adept then i won't need this anymore
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Malodrax you have permission to bear my children.
Please memorise and use are you aware
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''I am betting $350 that Localfool's brown asscrack smells like curry'' - againstall0dds, I hope you're well brah, if not rip noble curryman
.:Foot Fetish Club:.
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
Personally i think going up to randoms saying weird sht and then remembering their reactions and replys afterwards is just gonna just screw your head up even more.
Theres no need to be weird to people just to overcome social anxiety brah..imo.
Although its cool to see you're trying to improve/come up with action plans.
Props for that
brah all jakes aside this is really inspiring, putting yourself out there like that is one of the hardest things to do, and those chicks were straight bitches from the start shouldnt give up on s my d so quickly
if i had a body like yours in that avi i'd be a ****ing slut (srs)
we all have problems man...just take the big leap and take the good with the bad...
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