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  1. #1
    Registered User byates5637's Avatar
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    How do you deal with guys hitting on your girl when you're not around?

    So I've been dating my girlfriend for about a year now. We have a good relationship and I totally trust her. I would say I have most of the "power" in the relationship, but I don't really take advantage of it.

    Anyway, she just turned 21 last weekend so of course she's going out to bars all the time. We went out together on Friday night and some old marine dude started hitting on her until I came up and made it clear she was my girlfriend. She wasn't flirting with him or anything...he was just hitting on her.

    Then tonight she went out to the bar with like 6 girls in center city philly. She invited me to come but I decided not to...didn't feel like tagging along with a bunch of girls all night. So she calls me like two hours ago, she's drunk as ****, and I hear her yelling to some guy "Brandon's (that's me) my boyfriend and he'll kick your ass." So naturally I ask her what's going on and apparently some random dude was trying to get up in her **** and grab her ass. Luckily one of the girls my girl was hanging out with brought her boyfriend, and he made the guy back off.

    Anyway, I figure this sort of thing is probably going to happen pretty often with her being 21 and hanging out in bars. How should I deal with it? I trust her and don't want to become a control freak or anything...but it sucks knowing drunk dudes are trying to pick her up.

    Advice?


    Cliffs:
    -Have girlfriend of one year
    -Good relationship; I trust her
    -She just turned 21, goes out to bars a lot
    -Drunk dudes hit on her
    -She tell them off and tells me about it
    -This will probably happen frequently
    -How can I prevent myself from becoming jealous and deal with this maturely?
    Last edited by byates5637; 09-12-2009 at 11:51 PM.
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  2. #2
    Registered User byates5637's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    deal with it.

    im going through the same thing but dont fully trust my gf for some reason since she is an attention whore and responds to guys flirting. i used to be pissed about it, now i just go out more often and do the same and she is the one questioning me. tit for tat is immature yea, but i really had to move on and stop being a bich about it. hey, maybe i'll even cheat.....you never know
    I hear ya brah. Don't cheat though...if you really feel like you can't trust her just break up with her.
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  3. #3
    Registered User lastxlight's Avatar
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    Take it as a compliment, if no one hit on her, how would you feel then?
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  4. #4
    99 problems, i ain't one. Problem's Avatar
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    You don't need to be a controling freak, but you can talk to her about going to bars without you and how you feel about it.

    She should understand...
    أشهد أن لا إله إلاَّ الله و أشهد أن محمد رسول الله

    rep me tenderly.
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  5. #5
    xx chromosomes (no homo) RandomMisc's Avatar
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    Why is she telling you that dudes are hitting on her? Trying to make you jealous? Might just be an immaturity thing, but I'd question the motives there.

    I don't think I've ever told a dude I was with about being hit on when he wasn't around, save for one really out-there experience that I shared because it was lolworthy.

    Any half decent broad is going to get hit on when you're not with her. Doesn't matter if she's in a bar or shopping in a mall during normal business hours. It's gonna happen. If you trust her, then it shouldn't really be an issue and there's really no need for her to even tell you. But if she's getting herself into situations where there are dudes physically grabbing her and it's to the point that another girl's boyfriend needs to step in to "protect" her, I'd have a problem with that. How/why is **** getting that far? Dudes usually don't just walk up to strange women in bars and start groping them.
    Last edited by RandomMisc; 09-13-2009 at 12:24 AM.
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  6. #6
    Registered User lastxlight's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RandomMisc View Post
    Dudes usually don't just walk up to strange women in bars and start groping them.
    Maybe I've been to way too many trashy clubs.
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  7. #7
    devil may care kineticforce's Avatar
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    you know how you deal with it

    laugh

    thats about it....let it roll off you like it doesnt bother you. If she continues to do it, shes seeking attention from you in the wrong manner.

    Does she ask you to go out with her?
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  8. #8
    Registerd User Amoral's Avatar
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    Well I handle it like everything by staying true to my values and philosophies. Gotta be that immovable rock.

    In your case, if I were to look in to it given the current details, I would say she is proactively trying to make you jealous and of course inflating her own self esteem.

    This is the beginning of the end.

    Thats all I have for now there is so many different quilts that could be knitted from this thread.
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  9. #9
    straya kunt stevematic's Avatar
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    most women get hit on it's no big deal.

    i'm just wondering if she's telling you this stuff to subconciously let you know that you aren't the only one and that there's plenty of guys out there for her.
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  10. #10
    Registered User Bonifacius's Avatar
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    Best Advice: Be completely apathetic when she tells you stuff like that. As soon as she detects a little bit of insecurity or jealousy, you'll fall in her estimation. Just laugh it off, be confident, that'll almost guarantee she'll never cheat. The guys who just don't give a ****, its their gfs who don't cheat.
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  11. #11
    Registered User matt1001's Avatar
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    from what you wrote it sounds good, shes always gonna get hit on if shes not a complete mammoth and if a guy keeps pushing it then she got angry which says to me shes not tempted to cheat

    i reckon all the guys saying shes trying to make him jealous are just assuming the worst
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  12. #12
    Registered User LeftNut's Avatar
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    I dont need to deal with it.... she does. If she's not dealing with it appropriately and even soliciting/encouraging it then she's not someone I have any interest to be in a relationship with.

    Plus if a girl offers that information then I offer her the same common courtesy of reciprocation by telling her about the girls I've met..... it'll shut her up and gets her more concerned about what Im doing than being preoccupied with playing her silly little game.

    Im a desired commodity in a competitive consumer market.
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  13. #13
    xx chromosomes (no homo) RandomMisc's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lastxlight View Post
    Maybe I've been to way too many trashy clubs.
    Or perhaps I just haven't been to enough. Haha. I don't know, but I've never seen that sort of thing happening when I've been out.
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  14. #14
    mod negged lol JTLDN's Avatar
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    If a girl is going to cheat their is nothing you can do to stop her.... Except show that it doesn't affect you.

    Doing this will exude self-confidence and make her wonder if you actually care.
    Picture me rollin
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  15. #15
    Registered User Serpicoo's Avatar
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    By being jealous and protective you are showing her that you are a guy who doesn't get many girls. A high value guy wouldn't be needy, and so she would be more attracted.
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