Been a extremly tough week, need some help.

xMalicex · 08-31-2009, 06:26 AM

Whats up guys, I posted a couple of weeks ago, that we found out my father had cancer. a Day after we found out we had to rush my father to the ER. Bad stomach pains and trouble breathing. He was in the hospital for about a week, in which time they ran so many tests and CAT scans. Found out that he had some cancerous tumors on his liver and over his addreanal glands. Didn't think it was that bad at all. As the days went by in the hosp, he started having more and more trouble breathing, getting air, and running outta breath. They find out he has an infection in his lung and got pneumonia. That plus the fact he only had 1 1/2 lungs From a previous surgery, and all this cancer putting strain on his system was affecting his breathing.
Friday morning on the 17th of August my father passed away @ 63. It is truly the hardest thing in my entire life i have had to go threw. That Thursday night he was having so much trouble breathing that he had to be put on a breathing tube. when that happened his BP started dropping a lot and they were doing everything they could to raise it back up. He started getting acidosis in his blood and his kidneys were failing on him. Finally at 745 Friday morning he passed away. It has been very tough on my family and i still can't believe he's gone, and the fact that ill never get to see him again really gets to me. My family just consists of my mother, my brother and I. We are doing ok, but the real issue I'm writing this for is my Mother.
I need some suggestions on some stuff my mom can do. Shes 65 and always depended on my father to be there and take her places. So she hasn't drove in years and doesn't have to many friends to socialize with. She basically spends all her time in the house with nothing to do and shes bored. Any suggestions on what she can do to fill her time??? I have talked to her about volunteering at places or getting a part time job, some place where she can meet friends.

I just need some other suggestions on maybe what sorta jobs you guys think would be good or any places to meet people to do activites with.

Thanks again, sry for the long write.

iR-Miscer · 08-31-2009, 06:32 AM

damn bro sorry to hear that

may ur dad RIP
as far as ur mom goes, tell her to go back home n be with her family for a while

hang out with the cousins or sumthin.

Zeus2012 · 08-31-2009, 06:36 AM

I will try and think of some suggestions, and edit this post later. I am not a religous guy but i do still think there is something after death, there has to be, you will see your father again, may he RIP untill then.

HopkinFrog · 08-31-2009, 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xMalicex

Whats up guys, I posted a couple of weeks ago, that we found out my father had cancer. a Day after we found out we had to rush my father to the ER. Bad stomach pains and trouble breathing. He was in the hospital for about a week, in which time they ran so many tests and CAT scans. Found out that he had some cancerous tumors on his liver and over his addreanal glands. Didn't think it was that bad at all. As the days went by in the hosp, he started having more and more trouble breathing, getting air, and running outta breath. They find out he has an infection in his lung and got pneumonia. That plus the fact he only had 1 1/2 lungs From a previous surgery, and all this cancer putting strain on his system was affecting his breathing.
Friday morning on the 17th of August my father passed away @ 63. It is truly the hardest thing in my entire life i have had to go threw. That Thursday night he was having so much trouble breathing that he had to be put on a breathing tube. when that happened his BP started dropping a lot and they were doing everything they could to raise it back up. He started getting acidosis in his blood and his kidneys were failing on him. Finally at 745 Friday morning he passed away. It has been very tough on my family and i still can't believe he's gone, and the fact that ill never get to see him again really gets to me. My family just consists of my mother, my brother and I. We are doing ok, but the real issue I'm writing this for is my Mother.
I need some suggestions on some stuff my mom can do. Shes 65 and always depended on my father to be there and take her places. So she hasn't drove in years and doesn't have to many friends to socialize with. She basically spends all her time in the house with nothing to do and shes bored. Any suggestions on what she can do to fill her time??? I have talked to her about volunteering at places or getting a part time job, some place where she can meet friends.

I just need some other suggestions on maybe what sorta jobs you guys think would be good or any places to meet people to do activites with.

Thanks again, sry for the long write.

My condolences. It sounds like a really emotional time for you guys. I get a feeling you all have a close relationship, you just need to stay strong and get through it together.

For your mum, something with goals is likely to take her mind off whats happened. Lessons of some sort, dancing maybe? Long shot, but it's all that's in my head.

misckickboxer · 08-31-2009, 06:37 AM

dam brah, really sorry to hear.
condolences to you and your family.
May you dad RIP.

Yer keep your mum around family, make sure is isn't left alone. Be there for her always.

mmmacca · 08-31-2009, 06:41 AM

I just asked my mum as she is of similar age to your mother and she suggested the signing up for charity thing because she has done similar things and made a million new friends because of it.

Im sorry to hear about your dad R.I.P.

Riskoe · 08-31-2009, 06:42 AM

really sorry to hear man, its always tough when you lose someone so important to you. My prayers are with you in this difficult time.

Boatski · 08-31-2009, 06:47 AM

Sorry to hear that dude. May he Rest In Peace.

Only thing I can suggest is something to keep her mind busy. Volunteer work maybe? Think of things she enjoys and try to build something from that.

MAGnitude · 08-31-2009, 06:56 AM

sorry to hear about your loss.

may your dad RIP

1QWIK7 · 08-31-2009, 06:59 AM

Jesus man im sorry.

Like i said in a previous thread, i dont know what ill do without my parents. Im very close to them. And with both of them suffering from diabetes at age 60, makes me cry at times knowing the end is possibly near. Even though they seem all well with taking care of themselves and taking vitamins etc etc.

I would maybe whenever you have time, take your mom out. Go to the movies, keep her happy.

When people get depressed, it weakens the immune system and she can get sick. Even yourself.

Keep at doing stuff that makes you happy, whatever it is.

Good luck bro and my prayers will go out to your dad.

xMalicex · 08-31-2009, 07:47 AM

Thanks guys, We don't really have any family, besides my brother and my self. Would be good to find her something like maybe 3 days a week. just to keep her busy. I know someone said something about charity work?? can anyone elaborate on this?? Thank you guys very much for the kind words it really means a lot to me. It just hurts that it was so fast in the matter of a week no less. Never even really got to say good bye or told h im how much I loved him, and that he was the biggest influence in my life.

Oreos_With_Milk · 08-31-2009, 07:59 AM

OP, do you live at home? Maybe consider having your mom come stay with you for a few days if you don't.

Point_Blank · 08-31-2009, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xMalicex

Whats up guys, I posted a couple of weeks ago, that we found out my father had cancer. a Day after we found out we had to rush my father to the ER. Bad stomach pains and trouble breathing. He was in the hospital for about a week, in which time they ran so many tests and CAT scans. Found out that he had some cancerous tumors on his liver and over his addreanal glands. Didn't think it was that bad at all. As the days went by in the hosp, he started having more and more trouble breathing, getting air, and running outta breath. They find out he has an infection in his lung and got pneumonia. That plus the fact he only had 1 1/2 lungs From a previous surgery, and all this cancer putting strain on his system was affecting his breathing.
Friday morning on the 17th of August my father passed away @ 63. It is truly the hardest thing in my entire life i have had to go threw. That Thursday night he was having so much trouble breathing that he had to be put on a breathing tube. when that happened his BP started dropping a lot and they were doing everything they could to raise it back up. He started getting acidosis in his blood and his kidneys were failing on him. Finally at 745 Friday morning he passed away. It has been very tough on my family and i still can't believe he's gone, and the fact that ill never get to see him again really gets to me. My family just consists of my mother, my brother and I. We are doing ok, but the real issue I'm writing this for is my Mother.
I need some suggestions on some stuff my mom can do. Shes 65 and always depended on my father to be there and take her places. So she hasn't drove in years and doesn't have to many friends to socialize with. She basically spends all her time in the house with nothing to do and shes bored. Any suggestions on what she can do to fill her time??? I have talked to her about volunteering at places or getting a part time job, some place where she can meet friends.

I just need some other suggestions on maybe what sorta jobs you guys think would be good or any places to meet people to do activites with.

Thanks again, sry for the long write.

If there's a church nearby and she's religious she can get involved with that.

Charity work like helpiing at a nearby soup kitchen or food pantry would be great as well. Charity work makes a person feel good by releasing endorphins in the brain so it will be healing for your mom.

RIP to your dad too man, I can only imagine the sadness.

xMalicex · 08-31-2009, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oreos_With_Milk

OP, do you live at home? Maybe consider having your mom come stay with you for a few days if you don't.

We have a 2 family house so me and my bro live on the second floor and she lives on the 1st.

sowhatup22 · 08-31-2009, 08:25 AM

I'm sorry for your loss man. RIP to your dad. try to stay with family and open up. theyre all feeling pain too