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  1. #1
    Registered User tranceaddict's Avatar
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    Question Playing Hot and Cold - good way to find if she is interested?

    so i am trying to figure out whether this chick is really into me or just sees me as friend material ..

    at the moment i am just playing hot and cold..

    for example - one week i give her alot of attention etc etc.. and the reverse at all other times..

    this week - she has been giving me her normal attention but playing games of her own, so i am just giving her less attention

    question is: say you ignore her (e.g. distance yourself to some extent), and she comes up with any excuse to talk to you or ask you how you are, is that a sign she is interested?
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  2. #2
    Registered User maeru's Avatar
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    The problem is whether she is interested in you, or the attention.
    Might be playing the games to get the attention and not really care about the person giving it.
    R.I.P. Amanda Kennedy, you will be dearly missed.
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    Option brah marcFE's Avatar
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    On and off works fine generally but with such a large timeframe I imagine it is going to backfire because at some point she is just going to get bored and move on ...


    Just ask her out and act like a man. Games are all well and good but honestly you should only be playing games with her if you are attempting to string her on because something else is preventing you from being with her.
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    Registered User tranceaddict's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by maeru View Post
    The problem is whether she is interested in you, or the attention.
    Might be playing the games to get the attention and not really care about the person giving it.
    exactly - how do i determine that? whether she is an attention seeker or cares about me?

    i do know for fact that she does:
    1 - touch me occasionally
    2 - flirt/tease/make fun of
    3 - long eye contact

    but on the other hand she would do stuff like this:
    1 - go to the library with me to find our friends with intentions to do a study group and then decide to study on her own because she supposedly cannot get in touch with them... and doesn't want to study together (always seems to have avoided the 1-on-1 situations... and needs her friends around...), then after all that rocks up to the next class with her friends :@
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  5. #5
    Registered User tranceaddict's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by marcFE View Post
    On and off works fine generally but with such a large timeframe I imagine it is going to backfire because at some point she is just going to get bored and move on ...


    Just ask her out and act like a man. Games are all well and good but honestly you should only be playing games with her if you are attempting to string her on because something else is preventing you from being with her.
    well the first time we went out together was with her friends,

    initially - her friends (and my friends) decided not to go, so she basically backstabbed me and said "we will go out another time..." when i asked her "when are we going to catch up then?"

    in the end she decided to come out becuase her friends changed her mind and she was a low-cut top (i don't know whether to impress me or what)... she wanted me to escort her to town as well (i don't know whether she knows she f*cked up or for security... she claims security)
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    Originally Posted by tranceaddict View Post
    well the first time we went out together was with her friends,

    initially - her friends (and my friends) decided not to go, so she basically backstabbed me and said "we will go out another time..." when i asked her "when are we going to catch up then?"

    in the end she decided to come out becuase her friends changed her mind and she was a low-cut top (i don't know whether to impress me or what)... she wanted me to escort her to town as well (i don't know whether she knows she f*cked up or for security... she claims security)

    Truthfully man you are overanalyzing things, the fact that she felt you were acceptable to hang out with her and her friends is a good thing. Girls like looking like whores for attention so her wearing a low cut top tells you nothing. From what you've said it could go either way so I still stand by my original suggestion of just manning up and asking her out, if it backfires then you can save yourself the trouble of analyzing everything. In all honesty attraction happens within the first 10 minutes of meeting a person, sure it can be improved upon with certain actions but if she likes you she will say yes, if she doesn't like you she will say no, you playing hot and cold with her for a month is very unlikely to move you from obvious friend to potential date. It is possible to move you from potential date to friend zone by taking too long because she will assume you aren't interested or just completely oblivious and she doesn't want to get hurt.
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  7. #7
    Registered User tranceaddict's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by marcFE View Post
    Truthfully man you are overanalyzing things, the fact that she felt you were acceptable to hang out with her and her friends is a good thing. Girls like looking like whores for attention so her wearing a low cut top tells you nothing. From what you've said it could go either way so I still stand by my original suggestion of just manning up and asking her out, if it backfires then you can save yourself the trouble of analyzing everything. In all honesty attraction happens within the first 10 minutes of meeting a person, sure it can be improved upon with certain actions but if she likes you she will say yes, if she doesn't like you she will say no, you playing hot and cold with her for a month is very unlikely to move you from obvious friend to potential date. It is possible to move you from potential date to friend zone by taking too long because she will assume you aren't interested or just completely oblivious and she doesn't want to get hurt.
    that's true - i am probably playing with fire,

    as i said before, i was seated in her row today, but i ignored her on my way to the toilet, nevertheless, as soon as i returned she said "how are you today" .. to which i replied "good i am finding this topic interesting'

    she tried to hold my eye contact as usually with her long gazes and smiles etc...but i dismissed it and went back to talking with my other friends...


    ask her out - well the last time i escorted her back to her place she was like "we will catch up after the exams"

    it's queit apparent i am not going to get anywhere with this chick, she is one of those academic orientated ones who hangs out with chinese chicks
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    How To Know If A Girl Likes You - 3 Sure Signs That She Fancies You

    Sign #1: ?The Quiet Desperation?. She will try to get in touch with you as often as she can - because she just cannot get you out of her mind! Sometimes she will text you out of the blue, or call you up. She will ?cook up? an excuse to call you - so that she can just hear your voice.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^ this, see i didn't make half an effort to talk to her today, but she still made an effort to say hello.... funny that


    Sign #2: ?Mr Perfect?. You will look perfect in her eyes - you simply cannot do anything wrong! She will praise you on anything you do - even on things that you do not feel is praiseworthy. When she is smitten, everything you do is right in her eyes.

    Sign #3: ?Attention Seeker?. When out with you (and especially when in a group), she will try her best to get your attention. When you ignore her a little, she will literally jump so that you notice her!
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    bumpa
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  10. #10
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    Just ask her out....if you want something take it.
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    i'm broke, but i'd bet $100 that if u asked her out she'd say no

    Even if a girl wasn't your typical "friendzoner", when she friendzones you as a study partner - you could still at least attempt to orchestrate a "study" situation on a friday/saturday night., which then flowed onto a few drinks etc... You don't seem to understand that women love sex. She's probably aching for cock if she's not getting any! Do u not get that?????

    stop generalizing, counting yourself out, overanalyzing, obsessing, etc...

    You NEED to experience the slutyness of women to give yourself a reality check, they don't require the attention/effort you think they do.

    Women and weights are kind of similar - less is more. Your brain is over-trained and thus making no gains.
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    I was once talking to a girl and she told that if a guy doesn't even TEXT her for a day, that she will quit liking him.
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    Originally Posted by tranceaddict View Post
    exactly - how do i determine that? whether she is an attention seeker or cares about me?

    i do know for fact that she does:
    1 - touch me occasionally
    2 - flirt/tease/make fun of
    3 - long eye contact

    but on the other hand she would do stuff like this:
    1 - go to the library with me to find our friends with intentions to do a study group and then decide to study on her own because she supposedly cannot get in touch with them... and doesn't want to study together (always seems to have avoided the 1-on-1 situations... and needs her friends around...), then after all that rocks up to the next class with her friends :@
    any girl that finds just any reason to touch you, you can automatically do anything you want with her if you man up. no girl will keep touching you if she didnt want something more brah.
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    For a minute there I thought you were trying to turn her on with Katy Perry's song "Hot and Cold".
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    Originally Posted by FullSack View Post
    i'm broke, but i'd bet $100 that if u asked her out she'd say no

    Even if a girl wasn't your typical "friendzoner", when she friendzones you as a study partner - you could still at least attempt to orchestrate a "study" situation on a friday/saturday night., which then flowed onto a few drinks etc... You don't seem to understand that women love sex. She's probably aching for cock if she's not getting any! Do u not get that?????

    stop generalizing, counting yourself out, overanalyzing, obsessing, etc...

    You NEED to experience the slutyness of women to give yourself a reality check, they don't require the attention/effort you think they do.

    Women and weights are kind of similar - less is more. Your brain is over-trained and thus making no gains.
    very true man

    edit - why would she say no though if i asked her out?

    orchestrate a study session - she told me she prefers to study on her own when i asked if she wanted to catch up to study on saturday...
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    Originally Posted by tranceaddict View Post
    very true man

    edit - why would she say no though if i asked her out?

    orchestrate a study session - she told me she prefers to study on her own when i asked if she wanted to catch up to study on saturday...
    She might say no because shes still unsure about which way she wants to take things with you.. you seem to be a potential to her but shes dragging because your not "amazing" to her but your not uninteresting either. No disrespect on you brah - same thing just happened to me with this one chick.
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    Originally Posted by f0kus View Post
    She might say no because shes still unsure about which way she wants to take things with you.. you seem to be a potential to her but shes dragging because your not "amazing" to her but your not uninteresting either. No disrespect on you brah - same thing just happened to me with this one chick.
    so wtf do i do in that case? or better yet, what did u do?
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    Originally Posted by tranceaddict View Post
    so wtf do i do in that case? or better yet, what did u do?
    Well i put her on the back burner and started talking to a new chick... still keeping contact but not going out of my way by any means. If she wants you she will make it clear, especially if you seem like your losing interest. If not then you have to chalk it up as a loss and use her as networking to meet other girls.
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  19. #19
    Registerd User Amoral's Avatar
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    Jesus christ you are never EVER gonna know what she thinks until you make **** happen. JUST DO IT PUSSY.
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  20. #20
    Whatever It Takes thisbudsforyou's Avatar
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    make her invest in you make her come see you and bring something to cook or drink wine or whatever. make her take you out and pay. show you could get any girl and she is not the only one. make her swallow your cum. Mainly what you got to do is get her to do more work than you and show that you don't care and can walk away at any time if she doesnt work for you. if you dont do this she will not respect you and will play you like a little bitch.
    "The mind is the limit. As long as the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it, as long as you really believe 100 percent."
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