:( Feeling very sad over ex (serious)

**P51** · 08-13-2009, 03:43 AM

Broke up Sunday after she gave me one last chance to stop fighting. I started one up again a week later.

Spent a year an a half together, we were even eachothers best friends. Hung out almost everyday and usually txt'd non stop from 10am-10pm. First to talk in morning, and last to talk at night.

I was dumb on Sunday and for some dumb reason I said lets see a movie after the break up. I thought it felt normal, she was looking at me, laughing smiling. Just no kissing. I slipped up and kissed her on check and immediately said sorry. She said "it's okay, lets just watch the movie" and I saw tears run down her face. We ended up leaving early, it was torture. The next day I tried saying sorry and saying another chance.

She says she is done and can't give me another chance. Too much has happened already. She can't sit and wait and see if I change. I felt her getting annoyed and I stopped txting her that day and haven't since. Everyone said stop and let her start missing you. It's hard. Thats why I'm up at 6am, I can't sleep I miss her.

She has given me so many chances before and I blew them all, because I never knew what was wrong. This time off from her has given me time to find the reason, I'm just so insecure out of nowhere(started about 6months ago) and I know what to fix now and just relax.

I have hurt her a lot, but I feel if I can fix this, we can be happy. We always were sooo happy. I mean during this last chance, she forgave me in 2 days and we were having sex on the 3rd day and falling asleep together.

Now she is updating her ******** status a lot, something she never did before about hanging with friends/work.

I have been told by several women, that I should ask her friday to hear my out over what I have thought about over the past few days and not try and push another chance, but just be honest about how I feel. I plan 100% to do this, I just hope she will hear me.

The way I figure is I got nothing to lose now, I'd rather be her best friend than be without her like now. You guys can't change my mind about what I'm going to do. I'm not going to move on before I have this talk(so please don't say 'just move on') and just release all my feelings that I have kept bottled. I'm looking for advice on what to say. Thanks.

**mr_ks** · 08-13-2009, 03:57 AM

Originally Posted by P51

Broke up Sunday after she gave me one last chance to stop fighting. I started one up again a week later.

Spent a year an a half together, we were even eachothers best friends. Hung out almost everyday and usually txt'd non stop from 10am-10pm. First to talk in morning, and last to talk at night.

I was dumb on Sunday and for some dumb reason I said lets see a movie. I thought it felt normal, she was looking at me, laughing smiling. Just no kissing. I slipped up and kissed her on check and immediately said sorry. She said "it's okay, lets just watch the movie" and I saw tears run down her face. We ended up leaving early, it was torture. The next day I tried saying sorry and saying another chance.

She says she is done and can't give me another chance. Too much has happened already. She can't sit and wait and see if I change. I felt her getting annoyed and I stopped txting her that day and haven't since. Everyone said stop and let her start missing you. It's hard. Thats why I'm up at 6am, I can't sleep I miss her.

She has given me so many chances before and I blew them all, because I never knew what was wrong. This time off from her has given me time to find the reason, I'm just so insecure out of nowhere(started about 6months ago) and I know what to fix now and just relax.

I have hurt her a lot, but I feel if I can fix this, we can be happy. We always were sooo happy. I mean during this last chance, she forgave me in 2 days and we were having sex on the 3rd day and falling asleep together.

Now she is updating her ******** status a lot, something she never did before about hanging with friends/work.

I have been told by several women, that I should ask her friday to hear my out over what I have thought about over the past few days and not try and push another chance, but just be honest about how I feel. I plan 100% to do this, I just hope she will hear me.

The way I figure is I got nothing to lose now, I'd rather be her best friend than be without her like now. You guys can't change my mind about what I'm going to do. I'm not going to move on before I have this talk(so please don't say 'just move on') and just release all my feelings that I have kept bottled. I'm looking for advice on what to say. Thanks.

Im confused.. you fell out because you kissed her on the cheek?

**extreme88** · 08-13-2009, 03:59 AM

man that really sucks sounds just like me and my ex... i would try to talk it out go out to dinner or something see whats on her mind but i feel for you bro...

**dick_nose_dwane** · 08-13-2009, 04:03 AM

she's updating a lot for YOU to see it. she misses you, give it time.

**Patrice_Lumumba** · 08-13-2009, 04:05 AM

But if she doesn't take you back, you have to move on, you stay friends with her you will never get over her. Trust me, you will get over her.

**P51** · 08-13-2009, 04:05 AM

No. The day we broke up, I was stupid. For some unknown reason I asked to see a movie..... The time their felt like 'normal' to me. I kissed her on the cheek during the movie. She told me to 'just watch the movie' and I saw tears running down her face. It was toreture sitting there for the rest of the movie, I asked her if I could take her home. I txt her the next day saying sorry/one more chance. She said "No. I'm sorry". She started a new job that day too, I asked how it went she told me everything, she said she had to go and do a puzzle(keep her mind busy I assume) and the phone call died. She txt me 20 mins later to talk. Said good night. Next morning I said sorry for acting crazy on sunday, and haven't txted back since.

**P51** · 08-13-2009, 04:06 AM

Originally Posted by Patrice_Lumumba

But if she doesn't take you back, you have to move on, you stay friends with her you will never get over her. Trust me, you will get over her.

Yea. I wont know till I try though. If I see her always as more than a friend or I want more, I'll end it.

I'm just going to try and be honest and just say everything if she will listen.

**challb** · 08-13-2009, 04:44 AM

Sorry buddy but im not following either, what crazy stuff did you do on saturday apart from watch this film????

**Matt_Buddha** · 08-13-2009, 05:07 AM

To put it plainly yes, you ****ed up. But now it's on her to decide if she wants the relationship to continue. You need to give her some space and let her decide. If you keep pestering her or crawling back to her, begging on hands and knees, you are gonna push her away even more. Best thing to do is not contact her, then she can see how she handles things without you in her life. If she does indeed want to get back with you, I promise SHE will contact you. But seriously, the more you keep contacting her (texting, calling, ANYTHING) the less your chances of working it out.

Good luck.

**P51** · 08-13-2009, 05:20 AM

Originally Posted by Matt_Buddha

To put it plainly yes, you ****ed up. But now it's on her to decide if she wants the relationship to continue. You need to give her some space and let her decide. If you keep pestering her or crawling back to her, begging on hands and knees, you are gonna push her away even more. Best thing to do is not contact her, then she can see how she handles things without you in her life. If she does indeed want to get back with you, I promise SHE will contact you. But seriously, the more you keep contacting her (texting, calling, ANYTHING) the less your chances of working it out.

Good luck.

Yea I just ****ed up even more so. I called this morning and for idk why. But by the time it started ringing I knew I couldn't hang up now.... So I asked her if she would "hear me out" today and just let me release everything inside... I said a few things I knew she got sad about, but she also wouldn't admit to anything like missing or that, when I know she does she just said "I just wont admit to it".

Idk. She has plans today to go to her school and get her books(something we were suppose to do, sigh) and she said IDK if I made plans later, I'm still kinda sleepy. I said it would mean a lot of we could go to the park and you just listen to me talk. She said okay, I'll try.

IDK, Matt. Like I slipped and said something like yea my phones looking kinda empty now, since we use to txt all time. And she said "ricky.." like don't bring it up, but I could sense sadness in her voice. I then said at the end sorry for making you cry or sad, and she said I'm not. So IDK if thats true or its like the missing thing, she just wont admit to it.

So I guess the plan is to just go and just tell her how I feel and how I have been feeling. How I'm trying to change and such. But not beg, just throw these things out there and give her something to think about. I just don't know what I should do then.

skier_ · 08-13-2009, 05:43 AM

Talking to her might work. But it might have just stopped working. Sometimes relationships get to this point, and you don't know how, but fights just always come up. You shouldn't have to change anything to be a in a relationship, it should just be.

**P51** · 08-13-2009, 05:45 AM

Originally Posted by skier_

Talking to her might work. But it might have just stopped working. Sometimes relationships get to this point, and you don't know how, but fights just always come up. You shouldn't have to change anything to be a in a relationship, it should just be.

Fights just sorta came up because somewhere, about 6 months in, I became insecure as **** and IDK why. I never realized it was me being insecure, so everytime I vowed to change, I never knew what I was changing and more or less was just saying it to get her back...

**dizi24** · 08-13-2009, 05:52 AM

I've been in almost the EXACT situation as you. We broke up because we were fighting way too much, which was mostly my fault because I was insecure. I couldn't imagine living without her, etc. Some of the stuff you're saying sounds like my exact thoughts after we broke up.

Let me give you some good advice. Tell her you're moving on. I spent a week trying to get her back, texting her calling her, telling her how I felt, telling her how I would change moving forward and realized what I had done was wrong. It was one of my first relationships, and I didn't realize how big of a f*ck up this was.

After about a week, I was sick of it and was gaining no ground. So I called her up and said, "we're done, I'm going out drinking with my rugby friends tonight." She knew this was bad news.

That night, I got a call from her, "I want to get back together." After a week of me trying to get back together and her not caring, all it took me was me telling her I was done and that I was going out with my friends to have a good time (AKA, I don't need her to have a good time). Now, she was calling me up begging me to get back together.

We of course got back together. And though we made it for a little while, things started to slip again and we broke up a few months down the line. For a couple days after breaking up, all I did was think about her. I had a pit in my stomach that felt like it wouldn't leave. But, everyday is better than the last and a little easier to deal with.

So my advice is to just put it on the table that you can't go on trying to be with her when you don't think she'll want to get back together. Tell her you love her, but you can't waste time loving a girl when she won't ever feel the same way. And then cut it off, don't text her, don't call her, etc. Go out with your friends, relax and have a good time.

Let her decide if she wants you or not. Also, one last thought. Don't be friends with her. It'll be hell and you'll never get over her. I still occasionally talk to the ex I was talking about, and I can still definitely get along with her. I don't mind catching up with her, but I have another great girl who loves me now, and I would probably have never found her if I never gave up on my ex.

**P51** · 08-13-2009, 06:00 AM

Originally Posted by dizi24

I've been in almost the EXACT situation as you. We broke up because we were fighting way too much, which was mostly my fault because I was insecure. I couldn't imagine living without her, etc. Some of the stuff you're saying sounds like my exact thoughts after we broke up.

Let me give you some good advice. Tell her you're moving on. I spent a week trying to get her back, texting her calling her, telling her how I felt, telling her how I would change moving forward and realized what I had done was wrong. It was one of my first relationships, and I didn't realize how big of a f*ck up this was.

After about a week, I was sick of it and was gaining no ground. So I called her up and said, "we're done, I'm going out drinking with my rugby friends tonight." She knew this was bad news.

That night, I got a call from her, "I want to get back together." After a week of me trying to get back together and her not caring, all it took me was me telling her I was done and that I was going out with my friends to have a good time (AKA, I don't need her to have a good time). Now, she was calling me up begging me to get back together.

We of course got back together. And though we made it for a little while, things started to slip again and we broke up a few months down the line. For a couple days after breaking up, all I did was think about her. I had a pit in my stomach that felt like it wouldn't leave. But, everyday is better than the last and a little easier to deal with.

So my advice is to just put it on the table that you can't go on trying to be with her when you don't think she'll want to get back together. Tell her you love her, but you can't waste time loving a girl when she won't ever feel the same way. And then cut it off, don't text her, don't call her, etc. Go out with your friends, relax and have a good time.

Let her decide if she wants you or not. Also, one last thought. Don't be friends with her. It'll be hell and you'll never get over her. I still occasionally talk to the ex I was talking about, and I can still definitely get along with her. I don't mind catching up with her, but I have another great girl who loves me now, and I would probably have never found her if I never gave up on my ex.

I guess thats what I'm gonna do today or tomorrow, whenever she wants to talk. I'm just going to say how I feel about everything. Tell her things I never told her when we were together and just see if she comes back to me. If not, I knew it wasn't ment to be

**JTLDN** · 08-13-2009, 06:07 AM

You are only prolonging the your heartache by not cutting your losses early. By apologizing to her... You are continuously submitting to her in order to keep her there. That is only lowering your own value.

P.S The harder you try to keep her there, the more inclined she is to leave

**user79879841251** · 08-13-2009, 06:11 AM

Time is of the essence, so let it heal.

**P51** · 08-13-2009, 07:05 AM

God damn it. lol. This is just so rough. Everything I think about, I think no way she can just give up like this.

For example, ever since our first date she has kept a diary of everything we did that day and sometimes what she felt... At first I thought it was hmmmm. Then when I read it once like 6 months in, it was one of the most interesting reads ever. As far as I know she was kept up with it. IDK how the last 2 weeks would read though..

She just bought me an Xbox 360 on the 27th for a late aniversary/(get well/something to do when I got my wisdom teeth out)... She knew I wanted one for a long time, but could never afford one due to taking her out all time.

**P51** · 08-13-2009, 08:01 AM

Also I never got around to giving her her one year anniversary card, nor did I get mine lol(Only together officially a year, not dating for 6 months prior). Inside is a poem(yes I write poems, yes I'm good though, been in contests), should I take it and read/give to her.

She never knew I wrote poems at all. When I was upset its what I did though, she knows nothing of them. Should I show her a few or no?

When she use to **** up in the beginning of the relationship, much like how I have been doing now, she would draw. She is an amazing drawer. She would draw graffiti images with sayings and words about how she messed up and how she felt. Once I discovered them I asked for them.

**Al_Pal** · 08-13-2009, 08:26 AM

stop being such a loser over this girl.

you feel like **** cause she left you, but in all honesty if she was the right girl for you, you would have found the motivation to stop being such an insecure douche bag in order to keep her.

its always tough dealing with a loss, but i promise you that she is not "the one" and in time you will be happier to be single. fix yourself before you worry about this bitch.

time heals all.

**P51** · 08-13-2009, 08:35 AM

Originally Posted by Al_Pal

stop being such a loser over this girl.

you feel like **** cause she left you, but in all honesty if she was the right girl for you, you would have found the motivation to stop being such an insecure douche bag in order to keep her.

its always tough dealing with a loss, but i promise you that she is not "the one" and in time you will be happier to be single. fix yourself before you worry about this bitch.

time heals all.

I never put two and two together... Maybe I'm stupid =\ I never thought the fights were cause insecure at all when I was in the relationship. I was always being hit on by other girls, even her best friend, which caused a **** storm between them two. so IDK.

And 20.

**BIGrob84** · 08-13-2009, 08:41 AM

Do you really think you can change bro? It will probably stick for a while (couple of months) but people just don't change.

**P51** · 08-13-2009, 08:42 AM

Originally Posted by BIGrob84

Do you really think you can change bro? It will probably stick for a while (couple of months) but people just don't change.

Yep. Not fully, but enough yes.

**Al_Pal** · 08-13-2009, 08:42 AM

im telling you dude, this is there trick.. .women some how always find away to have us blaming ourselves for a break up, but i promise you this... it takes 2 to tango. you can only be yourself, if she dont love you for that.. **** her. someone will.

but the insecurity must stop.

**kiddink** · 08-13-2009, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by JTLDN

You are only prolonging the your heartache by not cutting your losses early. By apologizing to her... You are continuously submitting to her in order to keep her there. That is only lowering your own value.

P.S The harder you try to keep her there, the more inclined she is to leave

This. Seriously.

WTF OP you sound like a lil beta bitch(plz don't take offense)
It's over. Find another girl.

**P51** · 08-13-2009, 08:44 AM

Originally Posted by Al_Pal

im telling you dude, this is there trick.. .women some how always find away to have us blaming ourselves for a break up, but i promise you this... it takes 2 to tango. you can only be yourself, if she dont love you for that.. **** her. someone will.

but the insecurity must stop.

Well she did love me, just not the fights due to the insecurity... =/

**KeyboardWarrior** · 08-13-2009, 08:45 AM

OP, I cringed at every reply you made. Although you may not see it at the moment, the more you 'pull' to get her back, the more she will 'push' you away. Just chill and cut contact for a week or so, and then assess the situation.

You might be able to get back with her, but message 'raping' her ain't going to do it.

**P51** · 08-13-2009, 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by KeyboardWarrior

OP, I cringed at every reply you made. Although you may not see it at the moment, the more you 'pull' to get her back, the more she will 'push' you away. Just chill and cut contact for a week or so, and then assess the situation.

You might be able to get back with her, but message 'raping' her ain't going to do it.

Well I figured this talk, if it goes bad, whatever, I wont talk and if she comes back she comes back. What do I have to lose at this point?

**BIGrob84** · 08-13-2009, 08:49 AM

Feeling hurt is natural. Psychologist call this stage "mourning". You and her splitting is the same as someone close to you dying in a metaphorical way. There are chemicals in your brain that are telling you to feel this way because she was like a drug. You are like a junky quitting "cold turkey" and going through bad withdrawls. She is like a junky that slowly came off the drugs so this isn't as hard for her as it is for you. I'm not trying to offend you but I think that you'll understand what I'm trying to say. No matter what the outcome is you need to understand that you will be fine.

**Al_Pal** · 08-13-2009, 08:52 AM

Originally Posted by P51

Well she did love me, just not the fights due to the insecurity... =/

love dont last forever

**sowhatup22** · 08-13-2009, 09:02 AM

Originally Posted by P51

Broke up Sunday after she gave me one last chance to stop fighting. I started one up again a week later.

Spent a year an a half together, we were even eachothers best friends. Hung out almost everyday and usually txt'd non stop from 10am-10pm. First to talk in morning, and last to talk at night.

I was dumb on Sunday and for some dumb reason I said lets see a movie after the break up. I thought it felt normal, she was looking at me, laughing smiling. Just no kissing. I slipped up and kissed her on check and immediately said sorry. She said "it's okay, lets just watch the movie" and I saw tears run down her face. We ended up leaving early, it was torture. The next day I tried saying sorry and saying another chance.

She says she is done and can't give me another chance. Too much has happened already. She can't sit and wait and see if I change. I felt her getting annoyed and I stopped txting her that day and haven't since. Everyone said stop and let her start missing you. It's hard. Thats why I'm up at 6am, I can't sleep I miss her.

She has given me so many chances before and I blew them all, because I never knew what was wrong. This time off from her has given me time to find the reason, I'm just so insecure out of nowhere(started about 6months ago) and I know what to fix now and just relax.

I have hurt her a lot, but I feel if I can fix this, we can be happy. We always were sooo happy. I mean during this last chance, she forgave me in 2 days and we were having sex on the 3rd day and falling asleep together.

Now she is updating her ******** status a lot, something she never did before about hanging with friends/work.

I have been told by several women, that I should ask her friday to hear my out over what I have thought about over the past few days and not try and push another chance, but just be honest about how I feel. I plan 100% to do this, I just hope she will hear me.

The way I figure is I got nothing to lose now, I'd rather be her best friend than be without her like now. You guys can't change my mind about what I'm going to do. I'm not going to move on before I have this talk(so please don't say 'just move on') and just release all my feelings that I have kept bottled. I'm looking for advice on what to say. Thanks.

Shes updating them and even hanging out with co workers because she wants to keep herself busy. She doesnt want to give herself time to face the fact that she does miss you. Women arn't as complicated as most people make them out to be. Since your mind is already decided, go for it, and i wish you luck. The best advice i can give you already know: be honest. They have a sorta sense with that kind of thing.

__________________________________________________ ____________________

It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye.

Thread: :( Feeling very sad over ex (serious)

Thread Tools

Search Thread

:( Feeling very sad over ex (serious)

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions