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07-31-2009, 12:18 PM
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#1
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PUJOLS FTW!!!
Join Date: Jun 2004
Stats: 5'9", 151 lbs
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How Seriously Does Your State Take Child Support Enforcement?
My "ex" is the classic deadbeat dad ...
just since Oct '07 he has fallen over $18,000 in arrears!
He also still has not paid another $5,000 he was ordered to pay when the divorce was finalized!
After utilizing court orders and wage garnishment, I am now preparing a case for the Chid Support Enforcement Division of Family Services.
In the mean time, he remains 'officially unemployed' as he collects unemployment and does nothing so that his income will drop and he will lose the free medical insurance he had for the children with his job.
Now, he has filed for a motion to modify his child support because he is unable to make his payments! UNREAL!!
In MO, thus far, I have found that court ordered child support mean NOTHING!
http://www.dadsrights.org/missouri-child-support.php
However, I will keep you posted, as the situation continues to progress!
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UNIVERSAL's UNILIVER FTW!!!
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07-31-2009, 12:45 PM
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#2
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Bulking
Join Date: Sep 2007
Age: 50
Stats: 5'4", 108 lbs
Posts: 7,668
BodyPoints: 5613
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Personally I know nothing. But a coworker's daughter went through something similar. The soon-to-be ex quit his job (no income) and unloaded everything (so he had no assets). His family is hiding his new income by housing him and paying him under the table. The really sad part is that his toddler daughter had cancer and losing health insurance was huge. Unfortunately she lost her battle with cancer. The courts were sympathetic but they can't make a person work and it's tough to prove that someone is putting themselves at the poverty level just to be an ass.
Sorry you're going through this. I'm even more sorry for kids involved. Having a parent like that is a real albatross.
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07-31-2009, 12:50 PM
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Age: 42
Stats: 5'2", 145 lbs
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Sorry to hear that Barbs.. tis different but similar over here in that it is easy to dodge payments.
I hope things get sorted for you soon.
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07-31-2009, 01:34 PM
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#4
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Truth fears no questions
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Portland, Oregon, United States
Age: 35
Stats: 5'10", 218 lbs
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It is unfortunate that he does not want to take care of his kids. I cannot imagine not wanting to provide for my kids. He should lose his drivers license soon?
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I thought I was strong till I watched my wife fight through GBS.I could only dream to have as much strength and will power as her!
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07-31-2009, 01:34 PM
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#5
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Potentate
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Maryland, United States
Age: 47
Stats: 5'10", 240 lbs
Posts: 3,162
BodyPoints: 60
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Fortunately I never had to find out. Back when I was paying Child Support I always paid, on time. And did a lot of extra stuff for the kids too.
Of course since I had custody of one and the ex had the other, the difference due to our differing salaries wasn't a lot.
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"All I have to say is thank GOD, once again, for DaddyR. . . . DaddyR should, in my opinion, run for president." - lakevillethor
"DaddyR for president!!" - 97LT1
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07-31-2009, 02:44 PM
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#6
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*THE IRON MAIDEN*
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: San Francisco, California, United States
Age: 52
Stats: 5'2", 123 lbs
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freebirdmac
Personally I know nothing. But a coworker's daughter went through something similar. The soon-to-be ex quit his job (no income) and unloaded everything (so he had no assets). His family is hiding his new income by housing him and paying him under the table. The really sad part is that his toddler daughter had cancer and losing health insurance was huge. Unfortunately she lost her battle with cancer. The courts were sympathetic but they can't make a person work and it's tough to prove that someone is putting themselves at the poverty level just to be an ass.
Sorry you're going through this. I'm even more sorry for kids involved. Having a parent like that is a real albatross.
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Damn I hope this scumbag rots in hell after suffering much pain before he dies. Heartless selfish b@st@rd.
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*PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY*
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07-31-2009, 03:01 PM
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#7
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Counts Almonds & Walnuts
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Union, Maine, United States
Age: 43
Stats: 6'0", 215 lbs
Posts: 6,314
BodyPoints: 0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FlexinMike
He should lose his drivers license soon?
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^^^ this...
Many states have built in "red flags" that when a deadbeat tries to do something like renew a license, etc. this comes up.
Very curious as to how this has circumnavigated the IRS. They can sieze a deadbeat's return $$$ in cases like this.
You definitely want to get something on record/filed ASAP.
Worst case (or best case, I guess) is that he would be found in contempt and locked up until restitution can be made.
And personally, I would NOT want to PO a lady who can squat 6 plates....
__________________
"Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don?t want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people."
- Randy Pausch, "The Last Lecture" (1960-2008)
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"I will tell you why they made the leg press: to keep the pussies out of the squat rack." - Arlecchino
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07-31-2009, 04:52 PM
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#8
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Tired Wifey Mod
Join Date: Jun 2002
Stats: 5'6", 136 lbs
Posts: 24,250
BodyBlog Entries: 0
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My ex got his license taken away for non payment! I'm with ya on this one Barb, I'm in the same boat. I hope he gets a conscious and starts acting like a man and starts paying!
the only problem I see with putting men in jail, they have an actual excuse for not paying, it doesn't help us Custodial Parents any..:/ and money owed is stopped until he is out of jail.
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07-31-2009, 05:03 PM
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#9
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PUJOLS FTW!!!
Join Date: Jun 2004
Stats: 5'9", 151 lbs
Posts: 17,778
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 22697
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freebirdmac
Personally I know nothing. But a coworker's daughter went through something similar. The soon-to-be ex quit his job (no income) and unloaded everything (so he had no assets). His family is hiding his new income by housing him and paying him under the table. The really sad part is that his toddler daughter had cancer and losing health insurance was huge. Unfortunately she lost her battle with cancer. The courts were sympathetic but they can't make a person work and it's tough to prove that someone is putting themselves at the poverty level just to be an ass.
Sorry you're going through this. I'm even more sorry for kids involved. Having a parent like that is a real albatross.
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WOWZA Freebird ... that is just tragic!!! 
It is tough to prove they aren't working just to be an ass but I am doing my best .. lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whatanejit
Sorry to hear that Barbs.. tis different but similar over here in that it is easy to dodge payments.
I hope things get sorted for you soon.
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Thanks Whatenejit! I realize now I had on rose colored glasses as far as court orders go ... there certainly seems to be a lot of room for contempt!
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlexinMike
He should lose his drivers license soon?
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Funny you should mention that ... he lost his license this past year for hit and run!!! 
IMO, he is an alcoholic in the advanced stages!
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaddyR
Fortunately I never had to find out. Back when I was paying Child Support I always paid, on time. And did a lot of extra stuff for the kids too.
Of course since I had custody of one and the ex had the other, the difference due to our differing salaries wasn't a lot.
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AWESOME Daddy R ... I am sure your children will respect your for a lifetime for that!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by dungeonmistress
Damn I hope this scumbag rots in hell after suffering much pain before he dies. Heartless selfish b@st@rd.
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That one sounds much worse than mine ....
Quote:
Originally Posted by BuckSpin
^^^ this...
Many states have built in "red flags" that when a deadbeat tries to do something like renew a license, etc. this comes up.
Very curious as to how this has circumnavigated the IRS. They can sieze a deadbeat's return $$$ in cases like this.
You definitely want to get something on record/filed ASAP.
Worst case (or best case, I guess) is that he would be found in contempt and locked up until restitution can be made.
And personally, I would NOT want to PO a lady who can squat 6 plates....
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Yes Todd, I think we are at full blown contempt here ...
not sure where it will end with him but filing all the charges against him is the first step!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roxie
My ex got his license taken away for non payment! I'm with ya on this one Barb, I'm in the same boat. I hope he gets a conscious and starts acting like a man and starts paying!
the only problem I see with putting men in jail, they have an actual excuse for not paying, it doesn't help us Custodial Parents any..:/ and money owed is stopped until he is out of jail.
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WOWZA Roxie .... Did your ex straighten up after he lost his license?
Mine lost his and just drives anyhow! I agree, I have mixed feeling about sending him to jail but I am at a total loss here on how to get him to step up to the plate!!! I am glad to hear I am not the only one with such a situation!!!
BETTER STILL: He lives in the house NEXT DOOR!!!! 
__________________
UNIVERSAL's UNILIVER FTW!!!
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07-31-2009, 05:10 PM
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2009
Age: 36
Stats: 6'0", 245 lbs
Posts: 108
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StlBarbie
My "ex" is the classic deadbeat dad ...
just since Oct '07 he has fallen over $18,000 in arrears!
He also still has not paid another $5,000 he was ordered to pay when the divorce was finalized!
After utilizing court orders and wage garnishment, I am now preparing a case for the Chid Support Enforcement Division of Family Services.
In the mean time, he remains 'officially unemployed' as he collects unemployment and does nothing so that his income will drop and he will lose the free medical insurance he had for the children with his job.
Now, he has filed for a motion to modify his child support because he is unable to make his payments! UNREAL!!
In MO, thus far, I have found that court ordered child support mean NOTHING!
http://www.dadsrights.org/missouri-child-support.php
However, I will keep you posted, as the situation continues to progress! |
Maybe dude really cant find a job. Im not taking sides but women are all concerened about the money. Does he see his kid? Are you allowing him to have a relationship with his kid? Im going through something now where my wife is hiding out with my kid and wont let me see or talk to her. (im in az, shes in nh) Its been a year and a half since ive seen my kid so maybe im more sympathetic to the man. If he trying to modify his support maybe the economy has screwed the guy. In the end hes gonna have to pay even if the kids 25 yrs old.
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07-31-2009, 05:15 PM
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#11
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PUJOLS FTW!!!
Join Date: Jun 2004
Stats: 5'9", 151 lbs
Posts: 17,778
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 22697
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He lives next door and all the kids have to do is walk across the lawn to see him!
Needless to say, they don't!
I have SOLE CUSTODY!
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UNIVERSAL's UNILIVER FTW!!!
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07-31-2009, 05:17 PM
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2009
Age: 36
Stats: 6'0", 245 lbs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StlBarbie
He lives next door and all the kids have to do is walk across the lawn to see him!
Needless to say, they don't!
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i wasnt trying to trip on you. I just am on the other side of that story. Either way sucks. good luck to you and things always work out in the end.
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07-31-2009, 05:20 PM
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#13
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PUJOLS FTW!!!
Join Date: Jun 2004
Stats: 5'9", 151 lbs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stalzer09
i wasnt trying to trip on you. I just am on the other side of that story. Either way sucks. good luck to you and things always work out in the end.
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No offense whatsoever ...
there are definitely two side to every divorce!!! 
__________________
UNIVERSAL's UNILIVER FTW!!!
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07-31-2009, 05:24 PM
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#14
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2009
Age: 36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StlBarbie
No offense whatsoever ...
there are definitely two side to every divorce!!! |
yep. To answer youre question in arizona they can be tough.but with someone collecting unemployment Im not sure there is much they can do.
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07-31-2009, 05:27 PM
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#15
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Oak Ridge, Tennessee, United States
Age: 39
Stats: 5'11", 208 lbs
Posts: 113
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thats a terrible story, imo, the ch supp. laws stink in the country. instead of how are we going to take care of the kids, to him vs her. if you have either person vengeful? it can turn out bad, my kids live 20 mins. from me havent seen them in 18 months. my ex cash my checks every 2 weeks faithfully 
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free
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07-31-2009, 05:32 PM
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#16
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PUJOLS FTW!!!
Join Date: Jun 2004
Stats: 5'9", 151 lbs
Posts: 17,778
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 22697
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stalzer09
yep. To answer youre question in arizona they can be tough.but with someone collecting unemployment Im not sure there is much they can do.
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I, at least, hope to get a lien on his house and his tax returns, if he gets any!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by free816
thats a terrible story, imo, the ch supp. laws stink in the country. instead of how are we going to take care of the kids, to him vs her. if you have either person vengeful? it can turn out bad, my kids live 20 mins. from me havent seen them in 18 months. my ex cash my checks every 2 weeks faithfully |
That is tragic for both you and the children!!!!!
THAT is the other side of the coin ...
THE LOSERS = THE KIDS
They grow up not having had the experience of their own father!
Is your ex not in contempt too?
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UNIVERSAL's UNILIVER FTW!!!
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07-31-2009, 05:57 PM
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#17
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Swollen Oldie
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: New York, United States
Age: 42
Stats: 5'5", 155 lbs
Posts: 3,224
BodyPoints: 12795
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roxie
the only problem I see with putting men in jail, they have an actual excuse for not paying, it doesn't help us Custodial Parents any..:/ and money owed is stopped until he is out of jail.
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A "man" who won't take care of his kids is probably too much of a coward to go to jail.
In NY they'll take your hunting and fishing license, that would scare me into paying..
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07-31-2009, 06:30 PM
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#18
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Joe: IDFA BODYBUILDER
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Age: 41
Posts: 2,189
BodyPoints: 2030
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Maybe Fitty can knock on the door and make a "request"...
__________________
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120230251
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Matthew 6:26
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
http://www.last.fm/user/ColdSabbathRain
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07-31-2009, 06:30 PM
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#19
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kant spel
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Doniphan, Missouri, United States
Age: 38
Stats: 6'2", 195 lbs
Posts: 1,200
BodyPoints: 8944
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StlBarbie
My "ex" is the classic deadbeat dad ...
just since Oct '07 he has fallen over $18,000 in arrears!
He also still has not paid another $5,000 he was ordered to pay when the divorce was finalized!
After utilizing court orders and wage garnishment, I am now preparing a case for the Chid Support Enforcement Division of Family Services.
In the mean time, he remains 'officially unemployed' as he collects unemployment and does nothing so that his income will drop and he will lose the free medical insurance he had for the children with his job.
Now, he has filed for a motion to modify his child support because he is unable to make his payments! UNREAL!!
In MO, thus far, I have found that court ordered child support mean NOTHING!
http://www.dadsrights.org/missouri-child-support.php
However, I will keep you posted, as the situation continues to progress! |
As I live in MO, you already know how that ( dosen't) works. I feel for you and your kids, even though I am not in this situation. I have 3 and they are expensive to raise. I can't understand not wanting to take of your children and spend time with them. IMHO, the whole child support system does no-one any favors. I hope this gets resolved for you and your children's sake.
__________________
"It really is as simple as Eat, Lift, Sleep, Repeat". Buckspin
Matt
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07-31-2009, 06:48 PM
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#20
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Toning
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Minnesota, United States
Age: 36
Stats: 6'4", 268 lbs
Posts: 845
BodyBlog Entries: 0
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Minnesota will revoke your drivers license and ultimately issue a warrant for your arrest...
__________________
JESUS DIDN"T TAP
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07-31-2009, 06:57 PM
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#21
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2blu4u
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Nevada, United States
Age: 45
Stats: 5'2", 124 lbs
Posts: 2,485
BodyBlog Entries: 0
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Daughter's dad lives in another state then us so it's been awful
He owes almost a year and I still have to send her across the country to visit him and I have to pay for the flight every other time she flies because they put it in the divorce because at the time I tech. made more because he didn't work.
I can't believe guys don't want to help support their kids.
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07-31-2009, 07:07 PM
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#22
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PUJOLS FTW!!!
Join Date: Jun 2004
Stats: 5'9", 151 lbs
Posts: 17,778
BodyBlog Entries: 0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bando
A "man" who won't take care of his kids is probably too much of a coward to go to jail.
In NY they'll take your hunting and fishing license, that would scare me into paying..
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WOW ... it is amazing how much it differs state to state ..
and another issue becomes that despite what laws are actually on the books ...
WHAT IS ENFORCED???
Quote:
Originally Posted by Do_Somethin
Maybe Fitty can knock on the door and make a "request"...
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They met ... once ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by muttytwist
As I live in MO, you already know how that ( dosen't) works. I feel for you and your kids, even though I am not in this situation. I have 3 and they are expensive to raise. I can't understand not wanting to take of your children and spend time with them. IMHO, the whole child support system does no-one any favors. I hope this gets resolved for you and your children's sake.
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Another sad aspect of this is how it has destroyed any relationship he had left with his kids. They are not young, as the oldest is getting ready to turn 21 ... they know what is going on. They take his non-payment very personally.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jellodirt
Minnesota will revoke your drivers license and ultimately issue a warrant for your arrest...
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We have a preliminary hearing, he requested to modify in September.
I am very anxious to see what the judge does in light of his high arrearage!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by blu2xtreme
Daughter's dad lives in another state then us so it's been awful
He owes almost a year and I still have to send her across the country to visit him and I have to pay for the flight every other time she flies because they put it in the divorce because at the time I tech. made more because he didn't work.
I can't believe guys don't want to help support their kids.
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WOW ... Blu2xtreme ... I am VERY thankful I am not in your shoes!!!
Have you filed with your state's child support enforcement?
__________________
UNIVERSAL's UNILIVER FTW!!!
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07-31-2009, 07:46 PM
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#23
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2blu4u
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Nevada, United States
Age: 45
Stats: 5'2", 124 lbs
Posts: 2,485
BodyBlog Entries: 0
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WOW ... Blu2xtreme ... I am VERY thankful I am not in your shoes!!!
Have you filed with your state's child support enforcement?[/QUOTE]
I have but from what I have been told they are back logged and it can take over a year - then if he changes Jobs a lot it won't be very steady - we asked him to sign over parental rights but he won't - It's her step dad that takes care of her , does homework, paid for braces - her dad doesn't deserve to be called dad - at least my daughter is finally seeing it for herself ( we don't talk bad about him - believe I want to ) she is 15 so we don't have to deal with it much more.
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07-31-2009, 08:05 PM
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#24
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Swollen Oldie
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: New York, United States
Age: 42
Stats: 5'5", 155 lbs
Posts: 3,224
BodyPoints: 12795
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StlBarbie
WOW ... it is amazing how much it differs state to state ..
and another issue becomes that despite what laws are actually on the books ...
WHAT IS ENFORCED?
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Where I live in upstate NY they'll come after you for things that could result in a big fine (money maker). For things that will put you in jail (money loser) you're pretty safe walking around. As for the hunting/fishing license suspension, you simply can't get one if you're a deadbeat dad and our Department of Environmental Control officers have more powers than the state police. You get caught by one of those guys for poaching (hunting with no license) they take your guns and vehicle (if it was involved). If you're deadbeat dad who loves to hunt, don't come here. Hell, don't come here anyway.
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07-31-2009, 10:53 PM
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#25
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beep boop beep
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Lodi, California, United States
Age: 50
Stats: 6'1", 307 lbs
Posts: 2,782
BodyPoints: 18579
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roxie
...the only problem I see with putting men in jail, they have an actual excuse for not paying, it doesn't help us Custodial Parents any..:/ and money owed is stopped until he is out of jail.
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Well, if the jerk isn't paying anyway, maybe he could just rot in jail for a while.
I absolutely hate guys who bring kids into the world and then try to escape responsibility for them! It's too bad we don't have PUBLIC FLOGGING!!! 
Yes, mad!
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08-01-2009, 03:25 AM
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#26
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Feelin stronger every day
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Illinois, United States
Age: 50
Stats: 5'8", 246 lbs
Posts: 1,272
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He is, unfortunately, the norm. If the spineless freak won't pay, then he shouldn't be needing his nuts, either- all deadbeat dads should be castrated with a C clamp and a ball peen hammer. I get so irate when I see the "father's rights" ads by the piece of garbage that was involved in the Elian Cuban kid trial on TV...
http://batteredmomslosecustody.wordp...effrey-leving/
__________________
Praise the Lord and Pass the Iron-
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This is the Big O.
The Mad Clipper Strikes Again!
Last edited by hochspeyer; 08-01-2009 at 03:28 AM.
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08-01-2009, 07:45 AM
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#27
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kant spel
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Doniphan, Missouri, United States
Age: 38
Stats: 6'2", 195 lbs
Posts: 1,200
BodyPoints: 8944
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hochspeyer
He is, unfortunately, the norm. If the spineless freak won't pay, then he shouldn't be needing his nuts, either- all deadbeat dads should be castrated with a C clamp and a ball peen hammer. I get so irate when I see the "father's rights" ads by the piece of garbage that was involved in the Elian Cuban kid trial on TV...
http://batteredmomslosecustody.wordp...effrey-leving/ |
I agree, but I can't see how " fathers rights " apply if your not going to be a father. Barbs issue is her ex only wanted to make the kids, not take care of them.
__________________
"It really is as simple as Eat, Lift, Sleep, Repeat". Buckspin
Matt
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08-01-2009, 08:12 AM
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#28
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CARLMAN
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Ohio, United States
Age: 40
Stats: 5'6", 150 lbs
Posts: 9,135
BodyPoints: 47645
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StlBarbie
In MO, thus far, I have found that court ordered child support mean NOTHING!
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Trust me I know. I was paying close to $1,300 a month in the beginning. When I would go pick my son up for my "weekend visit" every other weekend...
They would conveniently not be home. One time I called the cops. Thay came to the house to knock on the door for me. Nobody answered.
The cop just said..... and i quote......
"Eh, just go to the bar and drink it off and try again in two weeks".
I stopped going and calling. Next thing you know after a couple months she started to label me as a dead beat because I was not in his life. again I
The "hatred" started to pass for each other. She agreed to LET me see MY son.
After more time of being civil to each other she actually took me back to court to modify support. Now i am paying arouns $400 a months and I can see my son anytime I want.
She actually calls me sometimes to come and have him for weeks at a time evern when I'm not " suppoese" to see him.
Where the F am i going with this? 
Eh, I'll just go to the bar later tonight and have a few.  
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08-01-2009, 08:25 AM
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#29
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A change is comin..
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Reading, Pennsylvania, United States
Age: 44
Posts: 949
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BodyPoints: 4840
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o have the 3 kids ..wife(not divorced) never pays support until we go in for conference .She then pays like 2 hundred and they tell her she must start paying...She is an adult entertainer and makes thousands a week but gets paid cash so they dont know...but i learned to deal with it..She hardly ever sees the kids...but we did take the kids to myrtle beach a few weeks ago and she paid for it..
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08-01-2009, 10:18 AM
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#30
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Feelin stronger every day
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Illinois, United States
Age: 50
Stats: 5'8", 246 lbs
Posts: 1,272
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Quote:
Originally Posted by muttytwist
I agree, but I can't see how " fathers rights " apply if your not going to be a father. Barbs issue is her ex only wanted to make the kids, not take care of them.
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Agreed- that's what irks me about these ferel good ambulance chasers- the <poke from rose thorn> is just a sperm donor... he not a father, he's not a dad, he's not a man.
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