I had to go get some tests done at a medical lab yesterday. I'm experiencing a problem with my endocrine system, today there would be some extra tests done with more of my precious blood drawn.
I don't do too well with needles, make ma gutz fluttery. I've been good since this all went down months ago, haven't had a problem once.
Anyway, the lab lady gets stabbing, I look away and wait...and wait....normally she takes 4 vials for this, but then she popped a 5th and then a 6th!
when she took the needle out it made a "squish", much like a sucking chest wound!
She then insisted I didn't look good, but I felt fine.
Then sh*t really hit the fan...no breath, no air, things are fuzzy, her voice sounds like the teacher's from The Peanuts.
Dammit woman, I wanted to die in the squat rack not this hole!!
I think I'm dying, she has injected me with some foul venom and is preventing me from doing my show...Layne's gonna be pi$$ed at her.
All of a sudden my needled up arm starts moving on its own and I can't control this thing, I slap the table my arm is supposed to be on, then I see her leg
its a nice leg
she's kinda MILFie too
and my hand reaches to slap that leg, but thank God I was able to pull back and just touched it.
And squeezed it.
I immediately apologized through my dry caked up mouth, sweating like a 'ho in church.
She acepted my apology and wiped the sweat from my head.
There coulda been criminal charges here today brah.
and yes, she felt NICE!
Then they offered me juice...
PHUCK No! That has carbs in it, gotta watch my macros!
I was gasping for air and the other lab lady made me take a sip, I guesstimated 20 grams of wasted carbs right there.
Damn, I coulda had a wrap
I tried to recover quickly, figuirng if 500 lbs of iron couldn't do it I wasn't gonna let no 125 lbs of lab tech do the job.
I literally stumbled home, brewed up some coffee, popped teh proteinz down and went to the gym.
I was certain of one thing...
it was going to be much safer there than what I just went through.