my mom needs motivation, badly..

[slowbus]

hi guys,

i've just recently made an agreement w/ my mom that if she stopped her vices i would stop mine.

she's stopped hers(smoking & drinking), but my mom is an overweight woman. she wants to lose weight but just can't find the motivation.

yesterday she was crying to me because she weighs 290lbs (she's around 5'6'') and she says that she hates herself.

i try and try to motivate her to do something about it but she just ends up relapsing into the same eating habits, usually within the same day or next

are there any words that you ladies can tell me specifically that i could tell her to try and get her motivated? she's also just turned 61 and i feel as if she's playing into her age, fueling her depression. not only does this effect her but it effects me as i have always been and always be a mommas boy, i love her to death

thanks for the help

g

[hoverfly]

Sorry, I can't think of anything specific to say, but why not plan some activities with her? maybe setting up a schedule to do evening walks with her or on a weekend, set up something fun like renting a tandem bike and going for a bike ride. sure she may not be able to pull her own weight, but it'd be a great workout for you--and any activity would be beneficial for her.

is your Dad available to help out? can he be encouraged to do activities with her? What about her friends? Does she have any friends with a similar goal who could form a weight loss group?

How about offering to cook her dinners (and dish her plate with correct portion sizes and then toss any leftovers). You could also offer, in a nice way, to help her get rid of any "non clean" foods. If she doesn't have crap in the house to eat, she may be less likely to consume the junk in the first place.

What you are doing for your Mom is great -- Good luck

[Zenree]

Originally Posted by hoverfly

Sorry, I can't think of anything specific to say, but why not plan some activities with her? maybe setting up a schedule to do evening walks with her or on a weekend, set up something fun like renting a tandem bike and going for a bike ride. sure she may not be able to pull her own weight, but it'd be a great workout for you--and any activity would be beneficial for her.

is your Dad available to help out? can he be encouraged to do activities with her? What about her friends? Does she have any friends with a similar goal who could form a weight loss group?

How about offering to cook her dinners (and dish her plate with correct portion sizes and then toss any leftovers). You could also offer, in a nice way, to help her get rid of any "non clean" foods. If she doesn't have crap in the house to eat, she may be less likely to consume the junk in the first place.

What you are doing for your Mom is great -- Good luck

^^^these are all great ideas but you hit the nail on the head when you said she needs motivation, first.

Unfortunatley, that's not something she can "find" - but more something she has to decide. Some times you have to get to that "breaking point" - where you can no longer stand where you're at --- she can say she wants to change - but if her heart and mind are not both in it...she will likely fail.


I don't want to discourage you at all -- in fact, I would be so proud of you if you were my son - most guys your age could care less about their folks - to focused on themselves - so I definatley give you props for trying.

Maybe you can try to get her involved in Weight Watchers -- its a great, great program for people that need to understand how to get their emotions and eating under control. Lots of supportive people that are dealing with the same issues as your Mom.

I wish you and her the best --- and again, I think its awesome that you want to help her so much...so sweet

[stellawasadiver]

I agree with everything thats been said...

Especially with trying to do something with her. It's likely she may choose to commit only if things get bad enough, but its also possible that if she can start seeing benefits from it, such as feeling better/more energy, etc.
i find that seeing how good you can feel is a great motivator.

try walks, yoga, and other such activities. take BABY STEPS- have her make small changes instead of everything all at once. for example, if she drinks tons of soda/sugary drinks and no water, you can start by asking her to make sure she cut back 3 of those drinks and have water instead.


And I have to say you're awesome for caring!

[sacha2]

Tell her to check out www.3fatchicks.com which has a lot of women her age and that started at her size. It is a supportive environment and won't get her "down". She should try aqua exercise classes, my mom is 50 and loves them.

[sweetcheeks4me]

The problem is your Mom can't get motivation from anywhere other then inside herself. It's wonderful that you want to support her -and you need to keep continuing to do that. I'm certain it means alot to her. When she is ready to lose weight for herself-because she wants to be healthier and she feels she deserves to be fit; you will make a great ali!

I understand and while I'm still new at my lifestyle changes-I realize that I can no longer abuse my body or my mind. This is a long term investment in my future... I wish your Mom all the best-she deserves it.