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05-28-2009, 08:20 AM
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#1
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LATman! To the rescue
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sulphur, Louisiana, United States
Age: 27
Posts: 2,162
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 5213
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And then the fight started......
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....
So, I took her to a gas station.......
And then the fight started....
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My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have s ex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....
**********************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt". So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me". And she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants You might have gotten Disability, too".
And then the fight started....
**********************************
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And then the fight started ...
**********************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started....
**********************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And then the fight started....
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I took my wife to a restaurant The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started....
**********************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."
And then the fight started....
*********************************
Thought it was funny so i figured id share....anyone have any others?
__________________
FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
"Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret."
"Evil can only be conquered by good men doing nothing."
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05-28-2009, 08:24 AM
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#2
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Double T Sports Rep
Join Date: Mar 2007
Age: 24
Stats: 5'8", 200 lbs
Posts: 7,960
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 2587
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lmao on all of them
__________________
Double T Sports rep
www.double-tsports.com
http://groups.bodybuilding.com/nobeta_bulging_biceps_groups
Bulging biceps bodygroup
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=118533881 enter new no-beta contest and post you heard it from me for reps
When Times get hard and **** hits the fan God dont walk with me he carry me man
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05-28-2009, 08:28 AM
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#3
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still being built
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Belgium
Age: 21
Stats: 6'2", 211 lbs
Posts: 1,007
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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lulz were had.
__________________
Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the far greater pain of regret.
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05-28-2009, 08:34 AM
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#4
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RED POWER
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Newark, Michigan, American Samoa
Age: 12
Stats: 5'1", 112 lbs
Posts: 982
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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Slightly amusing.
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05-28-2009, 08:35 AM
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#5
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Banned
Join Date: Apr 2009
Age: 81
Posts: 5,181
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r...
(negged btw)
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05-28-2009, 08:35 AM
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#6
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US Patent #5,159,703
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Waukegan, Illinois, United States
Age: 17
Stats: 5'7", 161 lbs
Posts: 6,047
BodyPoints: 0
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cool story brah.
__________________
.:MiscMarioBrahs:.
More AVI's than HeatherAC and ironm!ke
reps:partyka293,elementskaterx7
negs:SiMON2g
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05-28-2009, 08:36 AM
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#7
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enfp
Join Date: Apr 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 1,908
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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hahahaa brilliant stuff
__________________
Smash the control images. Smash the control machine.
Doofus and Dalant: Doofus doesnt eat food and leighs in bed all day dying. Dalant lifts weights and eats proteinz and faps to ronnie. Who would you rather be?
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05-28-2009, 08:37 AM
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#8
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Beer Alliance
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 6,646
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 85
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lulz were had... in 1998
__________________
"...[T]he government of the United States is a definite government, confined to specified objects. It is not like the state governments, whose powers are more general. Charity is no part of the legislative duty of the government."
--James Madison
1/2 MOA. All Day, Every Day.
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05-28-2009, 08:39 AM
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#9
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Age: 19
Posts: 483
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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awesome
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05-28-2009, 08:40 AM
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#10
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This We'll Defend
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Flushing, New York, United States
Age: 27
Stats: 5'0", 140 lbs
Posts: 400
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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awesome... will rep after recharge
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05-28-2009, 08:42 AM
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: San Jose, California, United States
Age: 29
Stats: 6'0", 197 lbs
Posts: 2,033
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 12142
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repost of a repost, but still amusing
__________________
"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar."
RIP George Carlin
PM for Lockerz.com invite
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05-28-2009, 08:43 AM
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#12
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LATman! To the rescue
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sulphur, Louisiana, United States
Age: 27
Posts: 2,162
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 5213
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blananana4
r...
(negged btw)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reyalp
lulz were had... in 1998
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Yea i figured it was old as hell cuz i received it via email....and those have been in circulation since internet started....but i dont care cuz just like myself there are plenty more who havent seen it then have so uhhhhhhh suck it.... 
__________________
FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
"Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret."
"Evil can only be conquered by good men doing nothing."
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05-28-2009, 08:45 AM
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#13
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Homo Says What?
Join Date: Jan 2008
Stats: 6'1", 242 lbs
Posts: 1,790
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 782
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You and your wife sure do fight a lot, I would divorce her and GTFO, no one needs that drama!
__________________
I rep back (1500+)
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