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  1. #1
    Anonymous Ironey's Avatar
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    My girlfriend never compliments me

    We've been together for over 6 months and I think I've gotten MAYBE 1 or 2 compliments the whole time. It's starting to bother me and I feel like a chick because of it. Do I just need to get the **** over it?

    When I'm not in a relationship, chicks will be like "oh yeah, I think Chris is hot... blah blah" so I got some satisfaction. I haven't heard any (hardly) compliments in the last few months so my self-esteem is down.

    I'm not as attractive as my girlfriend (overweight) but at least I'm making an effort to change it.
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  2. #2
    Banned Spaghettii's Avatar
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    good job on the effort there, but who the fk cares if we get compliments or not? sure they make us feel good, but we can live without them. you're just becoming needy.
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    Originally Posted by Spaghettii View Post
    good job on the effort there, but who the fk cares if we get compliments or not? sure they make us feel good, but we can live without them. you're just becoming needy.
    I kind of feel like a little bitch for feeling this way but at the same time I want to feel attractive and wanted.
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    Registered User Rhox's Avatar
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    It's understandable the way you feel. Just because we're dudes doesn't mean we don't like compliments...to feel appreciated and valued. Unfortunately, many women are self-centered and feel they are the ones who need to be coddled in a relationship and thus put out little to no effort to make their man feel good. When you find a woman who makes you feel great about yourself she is a keeper. This one doesn't sound like a keeper and will continue to drive your self-esteem down. Doesn't sound like she respects you either.
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  5. #5
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    Originally Posted by Rhox View Post
    It's understandable the way you feel. Just because we're dudes doesn't mean we don't like compliments...to feel appreciated and valued. Unfortunately, many women are self-centered and feel they are the ones who need to be coddled in a relationship and thus put out little to no effort to make their man feel good. When you find a woman who makes you feel great about yourself she is a keeper. This one doesn't sound like a keeper and will continue to drive your self-esteem down. Doesn't sound like she respects you either.
    Why are you deep in the red?

    Good post btw, reps on recharge.
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  6. #6
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    I don't know how to encourage her to compliment you but I doubt the fact that you're overweight has any bearing on this. There are so many aspects to a person. She wouldn't be with you if she didn't like something about you. Does she treat you well otherwise?
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  7. #7
    Anonymous Ironey's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by hugs_kisses View Post
    I don't know how to encourage her to compliment you but I doubt the fact that you're overweight has any bearing on this. There are so many aspects to a person. She wouldn't be with you if she didn't like something about you. Does she treat you well otherwise?
    Yeah she treats me well.

    She has a problem being open and expressing herself but I've helped her come out of her shell. I think that might have something to do with it but I don't think that would completely void her of compliments.
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  8. #8
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    Oh and BTW what caused me to create this thread was this:

    I was talking to her on the phone and she was watching America's Next Top Model. On the show they brought on a male model and she was like "OMG HE'S SOOOOOO HOT". It just got me thinking how I've never heard her call me hot.
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  9. #9
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    Wow, I'm having this exact same problem with my guy (not being expressive) and I still have to push and prod him here and there.
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  10. #10
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    Originally Posted by Ironey View Post
    We've been together for over 6 months and I think I've gotten MAYBE 1 or 2 compliments the whole time. It's starting to bother me and I feel like a chick because of it. Do I just need to get the **** over it?

    When I'm not in a relationship, chicks will be like "oh yeah, I think Chris is hot... blah blah" so I got some satisfaction. I haven't heard any (hardly) compliments in the last few months so my self-esteem is down.

    I'm not as attractive as my girlfriend (overweight) but at least I'm making an effort to change it.
    1. post a picture of your girlfriend.
    2. She may feel that her being with you is a compliment, or she's not the type of person to compliment people.

    3. pics are needed to see if she has a right to be thinking she's the ish.
    guys i not afriad 2 show my boobs cuz they r just boobs but i aint a slut yall so sorry i aint showing cuz i have respect for my self

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  11. #11
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    Originally Posted by Tsudo View Post
    1. post a picture of your girlfriend.
    2. She may feel that her being with you is a compliment, or she's not the type of person to compliment people.

    3. pics are needed to see if she has a right to be thinking she's the ish.
    She doesn't think she's the ish, I promise. She's not like that. Doesn't think she's above others at all.
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  12. #12
    One Of Our Top Posters! Tsudo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ironey View Post
    She doesn't think she's the ish, I promise. She's not like that. Doesn't think she's above others at all.
    Then she's not the type to compliment people. She might say you're hot to other people, but directly to you...I doubt it.

    Either way, pics, and I wouldn't worry about it, man
    guys i not afriad 2 show my boobs cuz they r just boobs but i aint a slut yall so sorry i aint showing cuz i have respect for my self

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  13. #13
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    Your girlfriend is a PUA.
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  14. #14
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    I honestly didn't think guys cared about that :/


    But then again, everyone wants to feel wanted and attractive to their SO.


    Seems like a lot of people just aren't expressive about things like that.


    Are you complimenting her all the time?
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  15. #15
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    Originally Posted by Tsudo View Post
    Then she's not the type to compliment people. She might say you're hot to other people, but directly to you...I doubt it.

    Either way, pics, and I wouldn't worry about it, man
    I would if she wasn't a serious girlfriend.

    Originally Posted by Harloe View Post
    Your girlfriend is a PUA.
    lawl

    Originally Posted by LovesMuscles View Post
    I honestly didn't think guys cared about that :/


    But then again, everyone wants to feel wanted and attractive to their SO.


    Seems like a lot of people just aren't expressive about things like that.


    Are you complimenting her all the time?
    I didn't think most guys did either until I dated someone who doesn't. My last girlfriend complemented me all of the time... and still does!

    Yes, I compliment her all of the time.
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    Registered User Rabble's Avatar
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    My last girlfriend, I tried to compliment and the first time I did it she got weirded out. She brought up the fact that she still felt "weird" because she had just got out of a long relationship and to hear it from another guy felt weird.

    So guess what? I stopped complimenting her... relationship was destined for failure anyways.

    She talked more about her ex than she did me. Not to mention, the only time she would even kiss me would be in front of her friends.

    Months of my life I'll never get back.
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    Originally Posted by Rabble View Post
    My last girlfriend, I tried to compliment and the first time I did it she got weirded out. She brought up the fact that she still felt "weird" because she had just got out of a long relationship and to hear it from another guy felt weird.

    So guess what? I stopped complimenting her... relationship was destined for failure anyways.

    She talked more about her ex than she did me. Not to mention, the only time she would even kiss me would be in front of her friends.

    Months of my life I'll never get back.
    Sorry to hear about that, though, it sounds nothing like my relationship.
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    Originally Posted by Ironey View Post
    Sorry to hear about that, though, it sounds nothing like my relationship.
    Im sure it doesn't, it was like no relationship I had ever been involved in my life. Ironically I fell the hardest for this delusional ****.

    My mistake.
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  19. #19
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    to be honest im not sure if i care about being compliments. probably because she compliments me fairly regularly so i dont think about it

    im not really a sensitive person, so i dont think it would be a big deal to me. its more along the lines of how she treats you. how she looks at you, when you catch her checking you out (yes this should still happen in good relationships) these can be some of the biggest compliments
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  20. #20
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    Maybe that's just her. I don't compliment much myself.

    My ex complained about that a lot. I did a lot at the beginning but it really isn't me. I loved her a lot, but she couldn't get over it. It ended.

    With new girl, and I never compliment since the beginning. I do compliment but not like some freak show I see most guys do, like my brother. 80% of my compliments are sex related.
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    I don't care that much about compliments, but moreso actions. I love when girls do things out of the ordinary to let you know they care-- whether its a random text, note, gift, etc.
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  22. #22
    Hypotheses Non Fingo Errorist's Avatar
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    I don't ever expect compliments, it's just not something I think about. My gf compliments me quite a bit though and she always brags about me to other people.
    "Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, for they will become your character. Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny."
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  23. #23
    Anonymous Ironey's Avatar
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    Today we were talking about random things and I said "I think girls should compliment guys more. We like compliments too". Hopefully she'll get the hint.
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  24. #24
    I am a medical doctor. janky's Avatar
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    Well dude, if she's overweight and you helped her get over some insecurities like you said, then she's more obsessed with her own self-conscious issues and not taking into consideration YOURS because all her time and thought is spent obsessing over hers.

    Basically she doesnt feel good about herself and she's too worried about that to accomodate YOUR self-esteem.

    Of course, it's nice to get compliments, but you can live without it. Dating girls with strong insecurities and self-esteem issues is bad news though. These are typically the same girls that'll leave you at the drop of a dime when a better looking dude pays attention to them and validates their crushed sense of self worth.

    I hope thats not the case, just sayin...
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  25. #25
    Registered User lightningwatche's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ironey View Post
    We've been together for over 6 months and I think I've gotten MAYBE 1 or 2 compliments the whole time. It's starting to bother me and I feel like a chick because of it. Do I just need to get the **** over it?

    When I'm not in a relationship, chicks will be like "oh yeah, I think Chris is hot... blah blah" so I got some satisfaction. I haven't heard any (hardly) compliments in the last few months so my self-esteem is down.

    I'm not as attractive as my girlfriend (overweight) but at least I'm making an effort to change it.
    Don't worry about verbal compliments. Worry about if she ever initiates sex, or how much she is in the mood if you initiate. Also go by how she treats you. Words are just words.
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  26. #26
    Anonymous Ironey's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by janky View Post
    Well dude, if she's overweight and you helped her get over some insecurities like you said, then she's more obsessed with her own self-conscious issues and not taking into consideration YOURS because all her time and thought is spent obsessing over hers.

    Basically she doesnt feel good about herself and she's too worried about that to accomodate YOUR self-esteem.

    Of course, it's nice to get compliments, but you can live without it. Dating girls with strong insecurities and self-esteem issues is bad news though. These are typically the same girls that'll leave you at the drop of a dime when a better looking dude pays attention to them and validates their crushed sense of self worth.

    I hope thats not the case, just sayin...
    Good post but she's not the overweight one, it's me.

    Bump because it's still bothering me.
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  27. #27
    Registered User Destructodave's Avatar
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    Well, i think she isnt interested that much anymore man. I dont give compliments where they dont belong. I dated a girl for 9 months and not once, not a single time did i ever give her a compliment. I complimented her dress 1 time, but not her. I just wasnt that into her yet we kept on dating. She brought it up too about 6 months in, and was the beginning of the end. Other girls, i compliment right off the bat if it warrants it. I think she's just not as attracted to you anymore as she was.
    On BB.com, you can: be a pedophile, talk about beating women, be a bigot, racist, constantly flame and call people all manners of names and phaggots, post half-naked women 24/7, threaten people IRL, etc.

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  28. #28
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    Your gf is Alpha.
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  29. #29
    moma said talk it out kmk25II45's Avatar
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    word. I want my gf to express that she knows I'm the sh*t and that she's lucky to have me. I told gf that she was never complimenting me and since, she's done a much better job (although at first, it felt like she was just doing it because I told her too, not because she wanted to :/)
    A man must be true to his own nature.
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  30. #30
    Franco Behring BJJ Mata Leao's Avatar
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    really my girl is pretty hot.. she works at the gym i go to... im pretty ugly and somehow she always calls me ur hot and this and that... mostly when were in bed... lol.....

    i think she is not very attracted to you.... cause like we all know attraction isnt a choice.. and thank to god... cause if girls were like guy i would never bang.... actually i dont know man ive seen some guys dating pigs... so i guess it depends on the person.
    but being legitimally a pretty person is always better.


    but im sure you can find a girl sexier then her... and if there is attraction.. she would be all over you... no matter how fat or skinny you r.
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