 |
05-15-2009, 11:07 PM
|
#1
|
|
cutting
Join Date: May 2007
Stats: 5'11", 197 lbs
Posts: 7,410
BodyPoints: 13566
|
Girl is being a dumb broad,mixed signals
My luck with the lesser gender is like fishing in a bathtub.
I hit up this girl from work, and like any hoe, she wants to ****, tells me straight up,"If I don't hook up with you by the end of this month I'm gonna be having my period from my wrists". Cute. I don't just give it away but she's sorta cute, might as well end the dry spell.
So I'm sittin around tonight, drinking a beer, and out of ****ing nowhere my pants get tight. I'm thinking about doing the tuck under the belt and staying put but my primal reproductive instincts VTEC'd on me like a Prelude outta hell.
Me: Hey Amy what's up
Amy: Nothin just got back from the movies  Having a good night, kind of hoping for a nightcap...
Ok bitch this ain't a blog it's my inbox and you're cluttering it.
Me: Super.
Amy: So what do you wanna do?
Gee I don't know, I'm on my ****in computer drinking a 40 that my mom bought me and playing Space Cadet Pinball. Perhaps it's a novel thought to say I want some action?
Me: down for whatever
Amy: Does that involve handcuffs and duct taping my mouth shut?
I'm thinking about it since you won't shut the **** up! I told this bitch 58 times I switched from Criminal Justice to Exercise Science, strong memory on this one.
Me: No I was thinking more along the lines of something intimate
Amy: Like maybe making it rain in my bedroom? I'm already feeling wet 
Christ on a silver stick. Donno what kind of "movie" she went to but probably something along the lines of a methamphetamine and hallucinogen-fueled rave. I persist.
Me: No, I want to do something in your bedroom but it better be dry and AC'ed in there.
Amy: Ohhh... well it is hot in here, I already took my clothes off so maybe you can help cool me off.
Am I a ****ing bucket of cold water? I want to get laid, I want to **** you in the ass, I want to smear your own feces across your face resmbling the facial hair of a 19-year old hispanic teenager. I WANNA ****. Time's a wastin so I cut to the chase.
Me: Amy I want to go to your house and have sex with you and then come back home and sleep.
Amy: Maybe you can spend the night, marathon man
I feel like a 15 year old girl at this point. Yes, let's have a sleepover and eat popcorn and make my balls match my dodgers hat. And I'm from Boston but I don't run more than the distance from my room to the fridge for another beer to keep me from Chris Brown status. I give it one more try.
Me: Amy do you want to **** or not
Amy: Yes please come over now
FINALLY the girl catches my drift. Or so I thought.
Amy: Just don't forget the handcuffs
Im gonna finish this beer and hit the sack, I swear, this girl wouldn't know sex if it ****ing hit her in the ass, and it's sure not going to tonight apparently. What a prude.
CLIFFS:
Amy: Sex
Me: Sex
Time elapses
Amy: Everything other than sex
Me: Go get arrested in the rain for having a gay sleepover
__________________
"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity. I wish I could be Mike who gets an endorsement deal. But you can't make a lie and a truth go together. This country wasn't built on moral fiber. This country was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime." -Mike Tyson
.:MMB:.
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:09 PM
|
#2
|
|
☆☆ Platinum Account ☆☆
Join Date: Jul 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 1,590
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
|
thread is useless without pics
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:09 PM
|
#3
|
|
Strawberry Fields
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 7,271
BodyPoints: 9705
|
Girl is being a dumb broad,mixed signals
whats NEW?
__________________
Notable Quotes:
"That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest." - Henry David Thoreau
"Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves." - Henry David Thoreau
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein
The Greatest Thread in the history of The Misc or the internet itself. Hats off to KaptN
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=4039343
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:10 PM
|
#4
|
|
cutting
Join Date: May 2007
Stats: 5'11", 197 lbs
Posts: 7,410
BodyPoints: 13566
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by P4yn3
thread is useless without pics
|
I will be damned if I'm facebook friends with a goddamn sexually abject wench.
__________________
"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity. I wish I could be Mike who gets an endorsement deal. But you can't make a lie and a truth go together. This country wasn't built on moral fiber. This country was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime." -Mike Tyson
.:MMB:.
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:12 PM
|
#5
|
|
Get Yak'd
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Iowa, United States
Age: 19
Stats: 6'2", 260 lbs
Posts: 18,344
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 5029
|
U gay brah?
and pics
__________________
No Reps Log: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120542601
"Ruin your liver getting swole, not trashed." -Ilyamerlin
400/300/500 by 21
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:12 PM
|
#6
|
|
Strawberry Fields
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 7,271
BodyPoints: 9705
|
just read it, tell me this is a joke.
__________________
Notable Quotes:
"That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest." - Henry David Thoreau
"Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves." - Henry David Thoreau
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein
The Greatest Thread in the history of The Misc or the internet itself. Hats off to KaptN
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=4039343
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:12 PM
|
#7
|
|
wordd
Join Date: Nov 2005
Age: 20
Stats: 6'0", 205 lbs
Posts: 2,053
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 2471
|
porque?
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:13 PM
|
#8
|
|
College Athlete
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 20
Stats: 6'2", 210 lbs
Posts: 6,342
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 3395
|
handsome what happened to the old girl man?? (haven't read yet, jus' askin)
__________________
I rape back...
**MEMBER OF BIG NASTY FAN CLUB***
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:13 PM
|
#9
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 1,545
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Handsome Maxout
My luck with the lesser gender is like fishing in a bathtub.
I hit up this girl from work, and like any hoe, she wants to ****, tells me straight up,"If I don't hook up with you by the end of this month I'm gonna be having my period from my wrists". Cute. I don't just give it away but she's sorta cute, might as well end the dry spell.
So I'm sittin around tonight, drinking a beer, and out of ****ing nowhere my pants get tight. I'm thinking about doing the tuck under the belt and staying put but my primal reproductive instincts VTEC'd on me like a Prelude outta hell.
Me: Hey Amy what's up
Amy: Nothin just got back from the movies Having a good night, kind of hoping for a nightcap...
Ok bitch this ain't a blog it's my inbox and you're cluttering it.
Me: Super.
Amy: So what do you wanna do?
Gee I don't know, I'm on my ****in computer drinking a 40 that my mom bought me and playing Space Cadet Pinball. Perhaps it's a novel thought to say I want some action?
Me: down for whatever
Amy: Does that involve handcuffs and duct taping my mouth shut?
I'm thinking about it since you won't shut the **** up! I told this bitch 58 times I switched from Criminal Justice to Exercise Science, strong memory on this one.
Me: No I was thinking more along the lines of something intimate
Amy: Like maybe making it rain in my bedroom? I'm already feeling wet
Christ on a silver stick. Donno what kind of "movie" she went to but probably something along the lines of a methamphetamine and hallucinogen-fueled rave. I persist.
Me: No, I want to do something in your bedroom but it better be dry and AC'ed in there.
Amy: Ohhh... well it is hot in here, I already took my clothes off so maybe you can help cool me off.
Am I a ****ing bucket of cold water? I want to get laid, I want to **** you in the ass, I want to smear your own feces across your face resmbling the facial hair of a 19-year old hispanic teenager. I WANNA ****. Time's a wastin so I cut to the chase.
Me: Amy I want to go to your house and have sex with you and then come back home and sleep.
Amy: Maybe you can spend the night, marathon man
I feel like a 15 year old girl at this point. Yes, let's have a sleepover and eat popcorn and make my balls match my dodgers hat. And I'm from Boston but I don't run more than the distance from my room to the fridge for another beer to keep me from Chris Brown status. I give it one more try.
Me: Amy do you want to **** or not
Amy: Yes please come over now
FINALLY the girl catches my drift. Or so I thought.
Amy: Just don't forget the handcuffs
Im gonna finish this beer and hit the sack, I swear, this girl wouldn't know sex if it ****ing hit her in the ass, and it's sure not going to tonight apparently. What a prude.
CLIFFS:
Amy: Sex
Me: Sex
Time elapses
Amy: Everything other than sex
Me: Go get arrested in the rain for having a gay sleepover |
Lesson:
Don't ever listen to what a girl says in regards to what YOU have planned for her. You don't have to "plan" for sex or even have her agree to anything before you meet as long as you come across somewhat sexual, and in your case you did so that's good.
No slut, no matter how slutty and open she is sexually is ALWAYS going to be like "yeah come over and let's ****". Sometimes they like to "pretend" that you think you're just going to be hanging out or doing whatever.
The end result is still sex.
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:14 PM
|
#10
|
|
cutting
Join Date: May 2007
Stats: 5'11", 197 lbs
Posts: 7,410
BodyPoints: 13566
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sounds Good
just read it, tell me this is a joke.
|
Tell me about it, she couldn't take a hint to save her life. All she wants to talk about is random garbage unrelated to me jizzing all over her tits.
__________________
"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity. I wish I could be Mike who gets an endorsement deal. But you can't make a lie and a truth go together. This country wasn't built on moral fiber. This country was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime." -Mike Tyson
.:MMB:.
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:15 PM
|
#11
|
|
why so Negative?
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: United States
Age: 20
Stats: 5'10", 175 lbs
Posts: 2,234
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
|
that sucks dude.. tease is a fukin tease
__________________
-Firefighter / EMT-
**Arizona Cardinals**
.:M.M.B:.
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:15 PM
|
#12
|
|
Yankees for life.
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Connecticut, United States
Age: 22
Stats: 6'0", 197 lbs
Posts: 4,628
BodyPoints: 0
|
K let me get this straight. YOu asked her if she wanted to fukc like 5 times and she said yes every time.
WTF is mixed about that?
__________________
"I think you clean up the game by the testing," Ortiz said at Red Sox camp in Fort Myers, Fla. "I test you, you test positive, you're going to be out. Period.
2004*, 2007*
"We don't need to face him any more," Twins Manager Tom Kelly declared. "He needs to pitch in a higher league, if there is one. Ban him from baseball. He should be illegal."
"No matter who you vote for, the government always gets in." - Bill Hicks
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:15 PM
|
#13
|
|
College Athlete
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 20
Stats: 6'2", 210 lbs
Posts: 6,342
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 3395
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheMisker
handsome what happened to the old girl man?? (haven't read yet, jus' askin)
|
nevermind, i read it now
f*cking god that was greeat
__________________
I rape back...
**MEMBER OF BIG NASTY FAN CLUB***
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:16 PM
|
#14
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 308
|
lol. The irony of "Im gonna finish this beer and hit the sack, I swear, this girl wouldn't know sex if it ****ing hit her in the ass, and it's sure not going to tonight apparently. What a prude." is classic!
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:16 PM
|
#15
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,637
|
i was amused
edit: lol @ all the retards missing the point.
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:16 PM
|
#16
|
|
Misc running back
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States
Age: 19
Stats: 5'6", 178 lbs
Posts: 622
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by 89FoxBody
K let me get this straight. YOu asked her if she wanted to fukc like 5 times and she said yes every time.
WTF is mixed about that?
|
this
__________________
MMMC
Penn State Class of 2012
Max Bench: 250 ------> goal 250 by May
Max deadlift: 375 ------> goal 350 by May
Max Squat: 340--------> goal 325 by May
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:17 PM
|
#17
|
|
College Athlete
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 20
Stats: 6'2", 210 lbs
Posts: 6,342
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 3395
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pumping4Lyyyfe
Lesson:
Don't ever listen to what a girl says in regards to what YOU have planned for her. You don't have to "plan" for sex or even have her agree to anything before you meet as long as you come across somewhat sexual, and in your case you did so that's good.
No slut, no matter how slutty and open she is sexually is ALWAYS going to be like "yeah come over and let's ****". Sometimes they like to "pretend" that you think you're just going to be hanging out or doing whatever.
The end result is still sex.
|
what the f*ck did you just say
__________________
I rape back...
**MEMBER OF BIG NASTY FAN CLUB***
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:17 PM
|
#18
|
|
cutting
Join Date: May 2007
Stats: 5'11", 197 lbs
Posts: 7,410
BodyPoints: 13566
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheMisker
handsome what happened to the old girl man?? (haven't read yet, jus' askin)
|
The fiancee moved back to Euroland and ditched, I'm a single man. Might stay that way after tonight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duke999
that sucks dude.. tease is a fukin tease
|
Exactly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 89FoxBody
K let me get this straight. YOu asked her if she wanted to fukc like 5 times and she said yes every time.
WTF is mixed about that?
|
You must have misread. Dude she kept changing the topic, said yes once and then pussied out. Guess she wasn't ready for the D.
__________________
"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity. I wish I could be Mike who gets an endorsement deal. But you can't make a lie and a truth go together. This country wasn't built on moral fiber. This country was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime." -Mike Tyson
.:MMB:.
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:21 PM
|
#19
|
|
cutting
Join Date: May 2007
Stats: 5'11", 197 lbs
Posts: 7,410
BodyPoints: 13566
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by SecondSucks
U gay brah?
and pics
|
No dude, I'm trying to get laid here by a female.
__________________
"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity. I wish I could be Mike who gets an endorsement deal. But you can't make a lie and a truth go together. This country wasn't built on moral fiber. This country was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime." -Mike Tyson
.:MMB:.
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:22 PM
|
#20
|
|
the MacLaren of members
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: █♣█
Age: 3
Posts: 693
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
|
great commentary, repped
__________________
If you werent meant to eat animals they wouldnt be made out of food.
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:26 PM
|
#21
|
|
500 Internal Server Error
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Illinois, United States
Age: 19
Stats: 5'9", 170 lbs
Posts: 4,065
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
|
lol funny **** op..
__________________
Chicagoan Crew. -Go Cubs [Bleed Cubbie Blue]
Cubs,Bulls,Bears,Blunts&Bitches
F*ck B*tches n Get Money; Ima Business man, I run a business, man.
:Mod negged 5/3/09
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:26 PM
|
#22
|
|
Get Yak'd
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Iowa, United States
Age: 19
Stats: 6'2", 260 lbs
Posts: 18,344
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 5029
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Handsome Maxout
No dude, I'm trying to get laid here by a female.
|
Maybe i dnt pick up on her sarcasm, but she said to head on over. 
__________________
No Reps Log: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120542601
"Ruin your liver getting swole, not trashed." -Ilyamerlin
400/300/500 by 21
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:28 PM
|
#23
|
|
cutting
Join Date: May 2007
Stats: 5'11", 197 lbs
Posts: 7,410
BodyPoints: 13566
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by pantydropper
great commentary, repped
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Briisk
lol funny **** op..
|
Thanks guys, I appreciate it but I can't have sex with reps or internet approval. Man this blows. I was trying to be a straight shooter, guess I came off a little strong.
__________________
"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity. I wish I could be Mike who gets an endorsement deal. But you can't make a lie and a truth go together. This country wasn't built on moral fiber. This country was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime." -Mike Tyson
.:MMB:.
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:29 PM
|
#24
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia
Stats: 5'10", 182 lbs
Posts: 4,407
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
|
well written
reminds me of a girl that wanted to toss my salad and I was like BITCH THIS ISN'T READY STEADY COOK
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:30 PM
|
#25
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oregon
Age: 26
Stats: 6'1", 260 lbs
Posts: 2,563
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 7378
|
thread is ridiculous, well played
__________________
♥♂ Βromαŋce Crew ♂♠
nomnomnom crew
"But what about the APOPTOSIS!!!! oh noez teh cell deth! and teh toomor necrosis factors that caus teh cnacer!" - Aeternitatis
"I'm not a strong swimmer" - stealth_swimmer
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:31 PM
|
#26
|
|
Misc Med Student
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: United States
Age: 21
Stats: 6'0", 170 lbs
Posts: 2,847
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 2550
|
wtf is going on. are you retarded brah? she was obviously flirting with you...
tell me this is a joke or an aware thread....for the love of god.
__________________
I owe: Mak3don3c, Icicle
PSN: solidsnake2688
ADD ME!
Misc Zombie Survival Squad - (SAAT) Whiskey Team - Combat Medic
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:33 PM
|
#27
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: United States
Age: 22
Stats: 5'11", 196 lbs
Posts: 216
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by solidsnake88
wtf is going on. are you retarded brah? she was obviously flirting with you...
tell me this is a joke or an aware thread....for the love of god.
|
This. She clearly said in there 4-5 times she was wanted to have sex, unless she was being sarcastic.
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:33 PM
|
#28
|
|
wut
Join Date: May 2009
Age: 20
Posts: 196
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by solidsnake88
wtf is going on. are you retarded brah? she was obviously flirting with you...
tell me this is a joke or an aware thread....for the love of god.
|
this
I dont get it, she was talking about being wet wanting to play with handcuffs. I would have smashed
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:36 PM
|
#29
|
|
cutting
Join Date: May 2007
Stats: 5'11", 197 lbs
Posts: 7,410
BodyPoints: 13566
|
You guys don't read a lot, do you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by vik_man
well written
reminds me of a girl that wanted to toss my salad and I was like BITCH THIS ISN'T READY STEADY COOK
|
THIS. Girls bring up the randomest **** at the msot inoppurtune times.
Quote:
Originally Posted by solidsnake88
wtf is going on. are you retarded brah? she was obviously flirting with you...
tell me this is a joke or an aware thread....for the love of god.
|
If flirting is talking about rain and methods of detaining criminals, sure...
Quote:
Originally Posted by KieNasty94
This. She clearly said in there 4-5 times she was wanted to have sex, unless she was being sarcastic.
|
Clearly said it??? She told me to come over ONCE and then got nervous and wanted to play cops and robbers. GTFO. Girls play too many games.
__________________
"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity. I wish I could be Mike who gets an endorsement deal. But you can't make a lie and a truth go together. This country wasn't built on moral fiber. This country was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime." -Mike Tyson
.:MMB:.
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2009, 11:36 PM
|
#30
|
|
Son of Asgard
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Stats: 5'10", 198 lbs
Posts: 9,353
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 8831
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by 89FoxBody
K let me get this straight. YOu asked her if she wanted to fukc like 5 times and she said yes every time.
WTF is mixed about that?
|
THEY NEVER FUKED.
/thread
__________________
i ALWAYS rep back
_____,---|'o'......................I_
l l'---"'--MISC--;==;;;;;;;;;;;;I=+==
|'"```/_/-'`|__|''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
_____/.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'--.--.--.--.--.I
l l'--'''--=MISC--IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII=
|'"```/_/-'`I____I------------\\
|
|
|
|
| Thread Tools |
|
|
| Display Modes |
Rate This Thread |
 Linear Mode
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
Member Login
Sign in for more FREE features and tools!
|
|
