Inspiration vs Intimidation

[kitebean]

As usual, this topic for discussion has been sparked off by a journal discussion.....

Many of us here have been training and trying to live a healthy, balanced, active, life. Many of us have also achieved various physique goals, or athletic goals, or healthy eating goals. Sure, we stumble and plateau and gain and lose, but for the most part we keep going.

I'd be lying if I didn't acknowledge that I like the fact that one of the manifestations of our efforts is that people look at us, and think WOW what a change, or WOW she looks great or WOW I wonder how she does it. That said, I think that many of us have had the experience where a friend has been exasperated by the fact that we choose not to eat something, or have a drink, or decline an invitation in preference to training.

Equally, I'm sure that we all have friends and acquaintances and workmates and relatives that look at us and are completely overwhelmed and intimidated. So much so that if we even try to encourage a little change, like maybe thinking about not drinking so much pop or maybe starting to walk a bit more it just scares them off. Like they look at us and just think NEVER in a BILLION years could I have enough energy or strength or discipline to achieve that look/weight/strength/endurance whatever.

BUT the point is, 2 years ago, I had NO IDEA what latent potential was hiding under my layers of fat and within my muscles and within my physiology and mind full stop.

How do we achieve or attain or retain the ability to inspire and challenge without being scary??

[MetalMommy]

Like they look at us and just think NEVER in a BILLION years could I have enough energy or strength or discipline to achieve that look/weight/strength/endurance whatever.
"

that righ ttheir is the thing...
they dont always look at us and think i cant do that..they look at us and think omg they think they are better than we are. ive been getting that and im not even trying to make my friends healthier....

the problem is you cant help who oesnt want help..unless they want to be healthy , then they will keep hurting their body.

personally.......i think tough love can be good love...but im also a little bit harsher than some people and come off intimidating when im talking about fckn cupcakes so who knows

[kitebean]

Originally Posted by MetalMommy

im also a little bit harsher than some people and come off intimidating when im talking about fckn cupcakes so who knows

hehehe me too maybe that's the real issue....

[Mustrainhard]

Originally Posted by MetalMommy

the problem is you cant help who doesnt want help..unless they want to be healthy

^^^this.

[fitopia]

Most women I interact with daily are skinny-minnies and happiest that way. They may drink soda or eat McD's or have other bad eating habits, but make sure to skip meals to compensate. Some workout, some don't. I don't know a single female personally that lifts moderate to heavy weights, and my goals are not considered desirable, quite frankly. That's why I come here.

I do have most coworkers trained in terms of what treats they bring by to tempt me. I began leaving them fruit so now they bring me fruit, and one person even noted I like pistachios and brought me a bag as a gift.

[kitebean]

Originally Posted by MetalMommy

the problem is you cant help who oesnt want help..unless they want to be healthy , then they will keep hurting their body.

Originally Posted by Mustrainhard

^^^this.

yes, this is obvious - no one can change anyone else! HOWEVER, to leave it at that and say meh move on is also imo a cop-out....how does someone reach the point where they want to change, to think it's possible to change, to have a role-model or an inspiration?

many times, in my life at least, I have been spurned on to action because I've seen someone who has achieved something, and that has motivated me.

My question therefore is not how do we change another person, rather HOW can we do our best to come across as a motivating influence rather than an intimidating one?

[Mustrainhard]

Originally Posted by kitebean

yes, this is obvious - no one can change anyone else! HOWEVER, to leave it at that and say meh move on is also imo a cop-out....how does someone reach the point where they want to change, to think it's possible to change, to have a role-model or an inspiration?

many times, in my life at least, I have been spurned on to action because I've seen someone who has achieved something, and that has motivated me.

My question therefore is not how do we change another person, rather HOW can we do our best to come across as a motivating influence rather than an intimidating one?

Change IMO starts at home. You cannot expect to change the world, unless you are the President or something. You can start by educating your loved ones that are closest to you. They are most likely to listen. Buy them books, DVDs and show them what your lifestyle can do to you. Compare a fit 45-yr old to an out-of-shape 45-yr old to make them understand. Quote from studies, NIH and doctors. Above all dont push anyone to change. People will change when they are ready. And when they do, go ahead and support them.

[kimm4]

I really don't know how to answer this. I've taken my lifestyle to the extreme and there are days when I don't even know how hell I do it. So for me, I could never push my lifestyle on anyone...because I feel it's out of the norm. I'm sure it motivates people on some levels and scares the hell out of others. If people ask for adivce...which they do...I always try to keep it simple. Eat healthy and do some exercise...small changes make a huge difference.

I'm not sure if that answered your question

[kitebean]

Originally Posted by kimm4

I really don't know how to answer this... I could never push my lifestyle on anyone...because I feel it's out of the norm.
I'm not sure if that answered your question

hmmm no not really - I never would think of pushing anything on anyone - I think what I am asking is how do we PASSIVELY convey a motivating message instead of an intimidating one...

I'm not talking about active education, because obviously this is something you can provide if or when you are asked.

maybe it's not something you can do passively. I'm trying to think of an appropriate analogy - perhaps like eating a fabulous meal in a restaurant - and thinking wow this is spectacular, but I'd never be able to recreate it at home, I'd be an idiot and fooling myself to even try. But if the chef presented the recipe with the bill (without you asking - as if it were just part of the experience), and you see there are only a few ingredients and it's really simple, then it automatically becomes unpretentious, less intimidating, and more achievable. Hehe that would be great, wouldn't it! Or even think back to grade school - you maybe had a great teacher that didn't push you but encouraged you in a way that you achieved things you never thought possible, whether you actively knew you wanted to or not. We all have had those experiences of intuitive learning.....

clearly I'm not making sense from the responses and the more I type the more I confuse myself never mind I'll continue to mull it over in my own obviously convoluted mind

[SexyChic]

Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

Your actions speak louder than words and you are not responsible nor can you change anyone but yourself.
Lead by example.

[SexyChic]

Originally Posted by kimm4

I really don't know how to answer this. I've taken my lifestyle to the extreme and there are days when I don't even know how hell I do it. So for me, I could never push my lifestyle on anyone...because I feel it's out of the norm. I'm sure it motivates people on some levels and scares the hell out of others. If people ask for adivce...which they do...I always try to keep it simple. Eat healthy and do some exercise...small changes make a huge difference.

I'm not sure if that answered your question

And you're an inspiration to us all, hawtness

[Haybales]

Originally Posted by SexyChic

Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

Your actions speak louder than words and you are not responsible nor can you change anyone but yourself.
Lead by example.

Those are great quotes!

[Mustrainhard]

Originally Posted by SexyChic

Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

Your actions speak louder than words and you are not responsible nor can you change anyone but yourself.
Lead by example.

That is the truth.

[fitopia]

Originally Posted by SexyChic

Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

Your actions speak louder than words and you are not responsible nor can you change anyone but yourself.
Lead by example.

Right!

[Brahette]

I see what you're saying, but there really is only so much you can do. You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. I've had so many of my friends compliment me on how I look and what a great job I'm doing. They say things like "wow, I wish I could look like that." My response is usually something along the lines of "you can look like that and if you want me to help you, I'd be more than happy to." I don't push my ideas on others, but let them come to me. My friends get frustrated when I won't go out to dinner or have a drinkfest with them, but they see my results, and they understand (sort of). So I just go along minding my own business, doing my own thing, and if they ask questions, I answer. If they want ideas, help, etc, I give it to them.