Violently Abused by Parents (SERIOUS)

[misterhamper]

Chauboy, why do you still want to keep contact with your dad after all he did?

maybe except for my dad.

And how is your relationship with your sister by the way? Does she know whats going on? Just wondering, mate

[BballBuilder]

Oh, I definitely have thought about suicide more than once. I thought that well since my life isn't valued right now, maybe if I die people will truly know how much they miss me, or that my parents would have to live with knowing they are the reasons for my death.

My life has gotten really bad when I basically lost my school friends. Since when you usually have problems with parents, you escape with your friends and forget about stuff with your parents. For me, I can't because my school friends aren't there.

And I would meet other people, but I have no car because my mom wouldn't let me get my drivers permit, let alone license. And I live in the middle of no where. (nothing walking distance)

Suicide is not worth it. This part of your life is not even a 1/4 of the time you have. I would definitely try to get out of that house if I were you though. It's not good for your mental state. Once you're 18, get out and never turn back.

That's what I did. When you go through that and finally get into a loving environment you appreciate it so much more. Be strong.

[bigmass98]

My mom used to beat me about school work. She ran the house like military facility. Looking back, shes now passed away and I am fairly successful at life and I do owe a lot to her. Wish I could tell her that. But yea I used to get 2-3 beatings a day, my sister never got hit lol

[GottaBeHUGE]

A lot of people had it worse than I,

but for those of you in similar situations, did you find yourself stepping up to save your siblings/mom some beatings?

My dad never hit my little sister or was mean to her and I'm glad I'd go through it all over again. I'm really protective of her and my mom as well as my whole family. That's how my family is though if something happens to someone we all are there to back them up.


To those who have been beat will you spank your kids? I don't know if I will be able to. To this day if someone slams something or starts yelling at me there is like a trigger in my brain and it makes me go off sometimes most of the time i can control it

[ACslatering]

A lot of people had it worse than I,

but for those of you in similar situations, did you find yourself stepping up to save your siblings/mom some beatings?

many times.

Thats why my mom still works - she can't stand living with that *******.

[6-SPEED]

A lot of people had it worse than I,

but for those of you in similar situations, did you find yourself stepping up to save your siblings/mom some beatings?

I stepped in once to try and save one of my sisters. I can't remember what she did but mom started beating the **** out of her. At first I was laughing because I thought it was funny. After about 3 minutes of constant blows I didn't find the situation funny anymore and I just sat there waiting for mom to stop. Then after another 3 minutes I was like "oh hell no, f**k this ****!" I ran into the room and yelled "leave my sister alone!" hahaha that' was really all I could do because I was so young at the time! Mom just looked at me and said "GTFO or you're next!" I left but the distraction I caused was enough, the beating stopped.

I think beating the kids is like a family tradition of ours that been passed down from generation to generation. I know my grandmother used to beat my mother senseless, so my mom was just passing down a family heirloom to us.

[Chauboy]

Chauboy, why do you still want to keep contact with your dad after all he did?



And how is your relationship with your sister by the way? Does she know whats going on? Just wondering, mate

I'm really not sure, but I can forgive my dad for what he has done. But I cannot forgive my mom. My dad is a superficial piece of crap. A couple years ago, he didn't know my birthday. All he cares about is money, and having relationships with other women. (yes parents are married) He hides money from me. Yet, I can have civil conversations with him about life. Even though he is completely old school, I can actually talk to him like human beings.

My mom is a psycho, and has messed with me psychologically all throughout my life. My mom makes it a point for her to not be in my life, or to influence it negatively. There isn't one day where she isn't a pathological liar, swearing all the time, or cursing why I was born, and how everything is my fault.

[BballBuilder]

My dad never hit my little sister or was mean to her and I'm glad I'd go through it all over again. I'm really protective of her and my mom as well as my whole family. That's how my family is though if something happens to someone we all are there to back them up.


To those who have been beat will you spank your kids? I don't know if I will be able to. To this day if someone slams something or starts yelling at me there is like a trigger in my brain and it makes me go off sometimes most of the time i can control it

Yea I have a pretty strong emotional reaction to any sort of violence vs females or even someone being highly agitated/yelling. I have a strong sense of protection over my family especially my mom. More in the sense that I want to get away from it, it's repulsive to me.

I had a gf that wanted me to rough her up a bit during sex and I tried but I actually could not bring myself to do it. I felt nervous, guilty and very sad about it. I'm better about it now. I have a gf that enjoys being spanked and I can usually let go of those feelings and get into it.

I don't know if I will spank my kids, I seem to be able to seperate it in my head. Spankings and abuse/beatings are not the same. Parents are too soft on their kids now I feel.

many times.

Thats why my mom still works - she can't stand living with that *******.

My mom is still with my father even though she talks about leaving all the time. They've been together so long that I don't think she will leave him.

[SicWithIt]

ive always had a stable relationship with my parents. they didnt spoil me, but the did whip my ass when i got out of line. no abuse, no bull****, just punishment that set me straight. it makes me sad how some parents treat their children, either spoiling them or abusing them.

[dboy9996]

I got beat when I was younger and I dont think it affected me in any way. My parents would use belts hangers, shoes, or an occasional slap or beating. They only did it when I was caught doing something wrong, I tell you what I never did it, or got caught doing it again. Showed me that I had a choice between right and wrong, and if I was caught id have to pay the consequences and in a way taught me more respect. I think thats what the youth of today needs sometimes, a good old fashioned ass kickin.

[GottaBeHUGE]

I think it's important to reach out to each other I've been suicidal before but I found help through a church. I tried talking to friends about it, relatives, random people but no one really knew what to do. I always offer to talk to people going through the same thing because you never know who you can stop from making the worst decision of there life.

[Chauboy]

Oh, and I missed your question about my sister. When I was younger, my sister and I had a GREAT relationship. But you know, my mom wanted a daughter forever, and time my sister spent with me, was time spent away from my mom. And so my mom, would treat and persaude my sister to hate me, for just petty little brother sister things. It's natural brothers and sisters will have small little fights, or playful teasing, or what not.

My mom tells my sister all the time, that I'm the devil, and to never go next to him. If she listens, she gets a reward. If she doesn't, my mom won't cook for her, or won't talk to her for the whole day. Then my sister will go running to her, saying "sorry sorry". Then my mom tells her it's okay, but to never talk to me or go near me again.


I can't even talk to my sister now, because she won't acknowledge me. And she's 11 years old btw, and I'm 17.

[GottaBeHUGE]

I got beat when I was younger and I dont think it affected me in any way. My parents would use belts hangers, shoes, or an occasional slap or beating. They only did it when I was caught doing something wrong, I tell you what I never did it, or got caught doing it again. Showed me that I had a choice between right and wrong, and if I was caught id have to pay the consequences and in a way taught me more respect. I think thats what the youth of today needs sometimes, a good old fashioned ass kickin.

I agree man but there is a difference between a spanking and getting thrown up against walls and hit for something stupid

[BballBuilder]

I think it's important to reach out to each other I've been suicidal before but I found help through a church. I tried talking to friends about it, relatives, random people but no one really knew what to do. I always offer to talk to people going through the same thing because you never know who you can stop from making the worst decision of there life.

Agreed.

If anyone wants to talk about anything like this privately. Feel free to P.M. me. I went through some really dark times but have been really content with myself and stable for years now. I feel like I'm much wiser than most my age and if I can help at all. I'd love to.

[GottaBeHUGE]

Oh, and I missed your question about my sister. When I was younger, my sister and I had a GREAT relationship. But you know, my mom wanted a daughter forever, and time my sister spent with me, was time spent away from my mom. And so my mom, would treat and persaude my sister to hate me, for just petty little brother sister things. It's natural brothers and sisters will have small little fights, or playful teasing, or what not.

My mom tells my sister all the time, that I'm the devil, and to never go next to him. If she listens, she gets a reward. If she doesn't, my mom won't cook for her, or won't talk to her for the whole day. Then my sister will go running to her, saying "sorry sorry". Then my mom tells her it's okay, but to never talk to me or go near me again.


I can't even talk to my sister now, because she won't acknowledge me. And she's 11 years old btw, and I'm 17.

That's terrible man just remember that it won't always be like this. This is just a short period of time in a long time on this earth. I don't think anyone should have to go through what you have or I have or anyone else, but things happen for a reason whatever the reason may be. Suicide isn't the answer either because there are people who will help, you just have to ask

[GottaBeHUGE]

Agreed.

If anyone wants to talk about anything like this privately. Feel free to P.M. me. I went through some really dark times but have been really content with myself and stable for years now. I feel like I'm much wiser than most my age and if I can help at all. I'd love to.

Same thing here. I know I'm only 19, but I've lived on my own since 17 and kinda went from a pre-teen to adult and never had the inbetween plus I've spent a lot of time talking to other teens going through the same situations

[MissThing]

I doh't know about "violent" but my mum was type to beat first, ask questions later. or ask questions, disregard answers and beat me anyway . plus, she had fixed views on things, qwhich couldn;t be changed.


so.. I wouldn't tell her anything. and even now I can't be 100% honest with her about things. it's abit better now that I have more self-confidence but I don't htink it's gonna change

[ACslatering]

I'm really not sure, but I can forgive my dad for what he has done. But I cannot forgive my mom. My dad is a superficial piece of crap. A couple years ago, he didn't know my birthday. All he cares about is money, and having relationships with other women. (yes parents are married) He hides money from me. Yet, I can have civil conversations with him about life. Even though he is completely old school, I can actually talk to him like human beings.

My mom is a psycho, and has messed with me psychologically all throughout my life. My mom makes it a point for her to not be in my life, or to influence it negatively. There isn't one day where she isn't a pathological liar, swearing all the time, or cursing why I was born, and how everything is my fault.

brah!

we need to get you outta there.

[Youber_old]

Oh, and I missed your question about my sister. When I was younger, my sister and I had a GREAT relationship. But you know, my mom wanted a daughter forever, and time my sister spent with me, was time spent away from my mom. And so my mom, would treat and persaude my sister to hate me, for just petty little brother sister things. It's natural brothers and sisters will have small little fights, or playful teasing, or what not.

My mom tells my sister all the time, that I'm the devil, and to never go next to him. If she listens, she gets a reward. If she doesn't, my mom won't cook for her, or won't talk to her for the whole day. Then my sister will go running to her, saying "sorry sorry". Then my mom tells her it's okay, but to never talk to me or go near me again.


I can't even talk to my sister now, because she won't acknowledge me. And she's 11 years old btw, and I'm 17.

Your situation is preety bad tbh, no offence man but your Mum sounds deranged. Have you thought about calling protective services or telling an external relative your situation? If not I suggest you highly consider it.

Good luck

[BballBuilder]

Same thing here. I know I'm only 19, but I've lived on my own since 17 and kinda went from a pre-teen to adult and never had the inbetween plus I've spent a lot of time talking to other teens going through the same situations

Yep, it makes you mature a lot quicker. I definitely never went though the "crazy teen" stage. No alcohol or drug use or anything. I had to be alert if I had to protect my family.

[dboy9996]

I agree man but there is a difference between a spanking and getting thrown up against walls and hit for something stupid

Agreed

I work with a guy that tells us some of the things that he went through when he was younger. Its hard to believe that a parent would do that to thier own flesh and blood. Some of the things he went through make me cringe, I thought the beating I got were rough. Nothing compared to what his father would do to him and his brother.

[jonnymontag]

i never knew i was abused until i got older. mother was crazy violent. she hit my sister in the head with a hammer once. always saying bad stuff like how she should have had abortions. she would hit me for no reason.

when i got mad she would tell me that is how i should act with other people, to get mad and attack them. serious. looking back i was like one of those pitbulls that gets beat to make them mean.

as a result growing up i got in ALOT of fights. basically no teen could take me cuz i was so used to getting beat i couldnt really get hurt. oh yeah my mom was like 240lbs, mostly solid muscle. she had asthma and took steroids for it...again very serious.

so now i find that i dont talk to my family at all. sucks in the holidays since everyone asks me why i have no plans. its cool that my friends usually invite me over for christmas and stuff like that. thanksgiving. but i am a total loner. i feel incapable of caring for most people at all.

people think i am crazy because i have less fear of consequences, and do what i want, since i basically only answer to myself and have taken care of myself since i was 18. put myself through college, got a decent job.

anything else?


oh yeah i was hit with belts, hangars, shoes, fists and other objects.

[Chauboy]

brah!

we need to get you outta there.

I mean I work, and work for me is within walking distance, thankfully. I have 27g's saved up in the bank, all of which is going to college though. My mom won't help me out with college, and with my dad keep hiding money from me, I doubt he will too. My dad told me he has no money to give me, and how he has $5 in his bank account, yet just YESTERDAY, he bought a new 2010 Lexus hybrid SUV. I mean wtf... when I asked him, "I thought you told me you had no money"... he said "I don't"

I really just want to get a car, and drive far far away. But my birthday is the very end of July, and that is the earliest I can get my license. This summer is going to stink for the most part; I'm probably just going to work a crap load.

And meeting new people, I don't want to tell them about this, because I don't want them to look to me as needy or pathetic...

[GottaBeHUGE]

i never knew i was abused until i got older. mother was crazy violent. she hit my sister in the head with a hammer once. always saying bad stuff like how she should have had abortions. she would hit me for no reason.

when i got mad she would tell me that is how i should act with other people, to get mad and attack them. serious. looking back i was like one of those pitbulls that gets beat to make them mean.

as a result growing up i got in ALOT of fights. basically no teen could take me cuz i was so used to getting beat i couldnt really get hurt. oh yeah my mom was like 240lbs, mostly solid muscle. she had asthma and took steroids for it...again very serious.

so now i find that i dont talk to my family at all. sucks in the holidays since everyone asks me why i have no plans. its cool that my friends usually invite me over for christmas and stuff like that. thanksgiving. but i am a total loner. i feel incapable of caring for most people at all.

people think i am crazy because i have less fear of consequences, and do what i want, since i basically only answer to myself and have taken care of myself since i was 18. put myself through college, got a decent job.

anything else?


oh yeah i was hit with belts, hangars, shoes, fists and other objects.

My emotions are extremely messed up to. I don't really get happy or sad it's just kind of monotone. I don't think I could cry anymore If I wanted to

[Chauboy]

Your situation is preety bad tbh, no offence man but your Mum sounds deranged. Have you thought about calling protective services or telling an external relative your situation? If not I suggest you highly consider it.

Good luck

Well child services did come with I was 12 years old. However, my dad for the first time, took me out for the first time, on a "father-son ride" and he basically told me, if I tell child services what really happened, that his life would be ruined, and that I would have no family to support me. My mom told me that I would be living in Cuba in rat infested places, and where parents would beat me nonsensically. So basically, I believed them, and what I had initially told child services (the true story), I said I just had a huge imagination, and that I was wrong.

I mean right now, obviously my parents don't beat me, or I would kick their asses. Right now it's all in the head, or other petty stuff my mom could do to mess me up.

Also, I just don't think it's worth it right now. I'm a couple months away from college, and I don't know if it's worth it to call them in just for these months.

[backinbusiness]

**** Chauboy thats rough bro!

GTFO of there soon as you turn 18 and never turn back. Start your life from scratch...maybe move cities so you are nowhere near them and never call them again (serious this is what I would do). I would disown them. They don't deserve YOU.

Best wishes. I'm glad you are a strong minded individual. Most others would have probably cracked and done Virginia Tech version 2.

[Chauboy]

**** Chauboy thats rough bro!

GTFO of there soon as you turn 18 and never turn back. Start your life from scratch...maybe move cities so you are nowhere near them and never call them again (serious this is what I would do).

Best wishes. I'm glad you are a strong minded individual. Most others would have probably cracked and done Virginia Tech version 2.

Yes, some people from school, mostly the people who I handed a sure beating to, have spread rumors saying that I am a mental wreck, and most likely to hold a school shooting.

I'm not very strong minded however, because I always relapse and think about the past, and what I could have done to change things. What could I have done in my power to alter what had already happened... I mean honestly usually I don't work for myself, but for others.

[backinbusiness]

I mean I work, and work for me is within walking distance, thankfully. I have 27g's saved up in the bank, all of which is going to college though. My mom won't help me out with college, and with my dad keep hiding money from me, I doubt he will too. My dad told me he has no money to give me, and how he has $5 in his bank account, yet just YESTERDAY, he bought a new 2010 Lexus hybrid SUV. I mean wtf... when I asked him, "I thought you told me you had no money"... he said "I don't"

I really just want to get a car, and drive far far away. But my birthday is the very end of July, and that is the earliest I can get my license. This summer is going to stink for the most part; I'm probably just going to work a crap load.

And meeting new people, I don't want to tell them about this, because I don't want them to look to me as needy or pathetic...

Oh BTW Brah do they know how much money you got? If they do STOP TELLING THEM. They legally IIRC have a right to a portion of that money. Don't ever tell them about it until you are 18.

Great job saving that much!!

GTFO at age 18. Get license, buy a $5000 used car, move away, go to community college for 2 years and move on.

Yes, some people from school, mostly the people who I handed a sure beating to, have spread rumors saying that I am a mental wreck, and most likely to hold a school shooting.

I'm not very strong minded however, because I always relapse and think about the past, and what I could have done to change things. What could I have done in my power to alter what had already happened... I mean honestly usually I don't work for myself, but for others.

You are strong minded. Relapses are normal part of life. I would more worried if you were very nonchalant about it. You are on here posting about your life. That is a good sign. Locked up inside = inner torment + huge psychological damage in the long run.

[BuildKing]

Thats some messed up **** chauboy

[Chauboy]

Oh BTW Brah do they know how much money you got? If they do STOP TELLING THEM. They legally IIRC have a right to a portion of that money. Don't ever tell them about it until you are 18.

Great job saving that much!!

GTFO at age 18. Get license, buy a $5000 used car, move away, go to community college for 2 years and move on.

umm... my parents told me how I should open up a bank account with my sister as the owner, and me as the co-owner, because that would "hide money away from colleges". I asked someone, and they said that's true.

But now that I got into college, I guess I should make myself the owner now.