I dont get it (but I wish I could!!)

sandy131 · 04-17-2009, 01:19 PM

I have friends who are happy to have casual sex (booty calls) however I am not comfortable with it! Yesterday I had an encounter with a guy from my past who I knew wanted to sleep with me and after we finished (it was all good by the way) I cant help but feel used now!

I am just interested to know how many women are comfortable to have these kind of casual partners?

subieshane · 04-17-2009, 02:02 PM

Im not a woman, but I dont like having casual sex. I work hard to look good and Im not going to feel cheated out like any random girl can have me. Plus having a STD would not be my idea of a good time.

MetalMommy · 04-17-2009, 02:21 PM

to each their own.

i have never been into casual sex. every relationship ive had has been a committed one , waited till 18 to lose my v card and i wish i would of kept it longer.

i dont think its bad if your into casual sex....its just what someone prefers. lots of ppl cant do committed long term stuff....so for them itsw best they do that and it saves other ppl heart break...forsome lik eme and you, we just cant handle random sex like that. i would feel like a whore....not saying your a whore if you do casual sex..but for me personally....i could never do it.

MetalMommy · 04-17-2009, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by subieshane

Im not a woman, but I dont like having casual sex. I work hard to look good and Im not going to feel cheated out like any random girl can have me. Plus having a STD would not be my idea of a good time.

hehe what confidence "cheated out any random girl can have me" way to be a trophy man!! woot woot hehe.

TPower81 · 04-17-2009, 02:32 PM

boy the guys are going to be all over the first woman that says she's cool with it.

Its been my experience that casual sex is difficult to maintain and get to. Sure with an ex it can be good because you've got history and experience together. But just hooking up with someone you meet usually ends up not being as exciting as you thought. Takes a lot of time and some work to get to know anothers body and be able to play to it. If casual is all you get, then its really hit and miss whether or not your sex styles matchup and you have a good time.

That bein said, my wife and I did it on what I guess you could call the first date.

mattf485 · 04-17-2009, 02:42 PM

To be honest, I have never had sex with any girl that wasn't my GF. I guess casual sex is cool, but I really don't get it. I can get off a lot easier and better with my hand and its a lot cleaner.

FameGirl · 04-17-2009, 06:38 PM

I've had a "friends with benefits" relationship... it doesn't work, people's feelings get involved.

I think (with exception of a few) girls that say they are okay with it are covering up their true feelings. One of my friends was just in a relationship like this- just sex, no commitment, and she acted cool with it but I could tell she was emotionally hurting.

kimm4 · 04-17-2009, 06:44 PM

I was never into the "friends with benefits" thing. But I did have a few encounters where I woke up the next morning and said "oh sh**!!"

Well that's for another thead...

lopaw · 04-17-2009, 08:54 PM

I'm fine with it.
I've done it many times.
I can easily separate love & lust.

Like someone said....to each their own.

JAWS22 · 04-17-2009, 09:13 PM

Casual sex... ptthhh. The entire concept is degrading.

K-T · 04-17-2009, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FameGirl

I've had a "friends with benefits" relationship... it doesn't work, people's feelings get involved.

I think (with exception of a few) girls that say they are okay with it are covering up their true feelings. One of my friends was just in a relationship like this- just sex, no commitment, and she acted cool with it but I could tell she was emotionally hurting.

I agree, I have a close friend who was just in a relationship like that, and I know she was hurting. Things turned out really bad. Not to mention she got pregnant, and now it's even more complicated and sad.

JonnyBrutal · 04-17-2009, 11:45 PM

I can't have sex without emotional contact. Thus I don't really ever have sex. lol

But yeah, sex isn't for me if I can't put more than just my penis into it.

Maine · 04-18-2009, 04:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonnyBrutal

I can't have sex without emotional contact. Thus I don't really ever have sex. lol

But yeah, sex isn't for me if I can't put more than just my penis into it.

Agreed 100%, i've never had casual sex and it's really not something i'm interested in. If i sleep with a woman, it's because i want something longterm. I can't really understand the whole point of casual one night stand sex as neither person knows what the other's limits are, or what they like, and it just ends up awkward and crap.

mp.wife · 04-18-2009, 05:24 AM

I've had a few *oh Sh*t!* mornings, but never with some random person. The one time I attempted the friends with benefits thing it didn't stay friendly long since emotions got involved. This was my first husband btw.

Long story short, very hard for me to seperate emotions from sex.

Tyr616 · 04-18-2009, 06:14 AM

i've had casual sex i guess you could say, ive probably slept with 3-4 women i have no been in a relationship with but i at least knew them as friends i would say. Usually someone develops feelings but it usually ends up not that big of a deal.

kudostojen · 04-18-2009, 06:14 AM

I've had a few "casual encounters" and there were times when i felt used as well. Whether it was with a friend or something done when i'd had too many drinks. I find the older i get the easier it is emotionally to have these types of encounters. I don't know what that means, if it means anything at all, but there is nothing better than sex with someone you care about.

If you feel this way after casual sex, i would recommend NOT doing it again. Perhaps you have some feelings for this person and an encounter like that would bring you down.

Ms_Doodikins · 04-18-2009, 06:21 AM

I've had a few "one-night-onlys" and I was/am completely comfortable with it. Women have sexual needs/wants/urges; it's natural. However waiting for that special someone to share not only the physical side of the relationship, but the emotional one as well could take longer than you or your body can stand.

I think it is completely personal preference. I do not think I would be capable of have a continuous "friends with benefits" relationship, that I think would make me feel used.

victoria09 · 04-18-2009, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sandy131

I have friends who are happy to have casual sex (booty calls) however I am not comfortable with it! Yesterday I had an encounter with a guy from my past who I knew wanted to sleep with me and after we finished (it was all good by the way) I cant help but feel used now!

I am just interested to know how many women are comfortable to have these kind of casual partners?

I don't think you need to feel bad! What's done is done.... just try and move on and remember how you feel now- and then try and remember THAT feeling next time your in a similar situation!

Personally (to actually answer the question ..lol) I don't think I would ever be comfortable with casual sex. I am way too an emotionally involved person- my feelings would probably get crushed. HOWEVER I have also been with my husband for almost 12 years now and we are the only people that each other has ever been with........ so my answer may not count!

subieshane · 04-18-2009, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMommy

hehe what confidence "cheated out any random girl can have me" way to be a trophy man!! woot woot hehe.

Just Sayin haha

raver08 · 04-18-2009, 12:47 PM

I've only had casaul sex, mind when I used to have sex I would meet 1 of my regular guys. It doesn't brother me in the least. Mind if I went into a relationship I would wait a while before having sex, becuase I think a relationship shouldn't be based on sex and sex is luxury not essential.

Swarovski · 04-18-2009, 01:18 PM

I feel uncomfortable doing that too.... I get attached to a man once we have sex so i just couldn't do that casually, I'd feel hurt if he didn't want to be with just me, like I wasn't good enough to be his number 1 or something. Not going through that again!

Jaw-Knee · 04-18-2009, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms_Doodikins

I've had a few "one-night-onlys" and I was/am completely comfortable with it. Women have sexual needs/wants/urges; it's natural. However waiting for that special someone to share not only the physical side of the relationship, but the emotional one as well could take longer than you or your body can stand.

I think it is completely personal preference. I do not think I would be capable of have a continuous "friends with benefits" relationship, that I think would make me feel used.

If you're having sex with a guy to take care of your "needs/wants/urges," theny you're using him, too. Sorry.

Not knockin' the casual sex aspect--casual sex can be awesome--but if each party is just a means to a nut then you'd be using these guys as much as they were using you.

RebeccaG · 04-18-2009, 01:37 PM

I've had two "one night stands" Not for me. They weren't random strangers - I couldn't have sex with a complete stranger - but it's still not for me.

Don't do it if it makes you feel uncomfortable!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by raver08

I've only had casaul sex, mind when I used to have sex I would meet 1 of my regular guys. It doesn't brother me in the least. Mind if I went into a relationship I would wait a while before having sex, becuase I think a relationship shouldn't be based on sex and sex is luxury not essential.

You have odd opinions and, in my head, they kind of conflict....but, ok.

Sex IS essential in a relationship. No, it shouldn't be the basis of a relationship, but if you are in a committed relationship/marriage/etc and you are NOT having sex, there may be a problem. There's nothing wrong with waiting, but I do think sex is an essential part of a committed long-term relationship.

And sex really is essential to the survival of our species. If you want to be technical....

None of my business, but you are gonna have trouble finding a partner if you'd divorce or leave a man for going to a strip club yet view sex as a non-essential luxury.

Sex is fun and normal and healthy. A yacht is a luxury.

sandy131 · 04-18-2009, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by victoria09

I don't think you need to feel bad! What's done is done.... just try and move on and remember how you feel now- and then try and remember THAT feeling next time your in a similar situation!

Personally (to actually answer the question ..lol) I don't think I would ever be comfortable with casual sex. I am way too an emotionally involved person- my feelings would probably get crushed. HOWEVER I have also been with my husband for almost 12 years now and we are the only people that each other has ever been with........ so my answer may not count!

Thanks I think ur absolutley right

Inthegrass · 04-18-2009, 03:14 PM

It's the emotional connection between two people that makes the sex great!!

SexyChic · 04-18-2009, 04:12 PM

I would never do casual sex (if I was single), too many risks involved.

The guy would probably have to show me a list of std/hiv tests all negative before touching me....... (yes paranoid and serious)

dunkonu9 · 04-18-2009, 11:44 PM

Well I am married so I don't have to BS in this thread. I used to screw anything that moved, for the most part just had to be skinny. I will screw ugly but never fat.

I mean do what you like have fun hell Steph and I started that way. I wanted to get down with her she felt the same way and then we just realized it was good enough to stick with.

JonnyBrutal · 04-19-2009, 12:47 AM

Another reason I don't have casual sex besides the unable to get aroused without getting emotional or passionate.

I'm scared my penis might fall of the next morning (Serious)

Finner · 04-19-2009, 07:31 AM

I have to say, I have friends (one, in particular) that LOVES casual sex. She is a very intelligent, book-smart genius type (now a surgeon) with ZERO people skills. She has a very tough time maintaining romantic relationships and just enjoys screwing random guys. It works for her.

I am not wired that way, and thus, cannot even BEGIN to understand how it works for her, but it does. I'm married now - so it's not an issue - but when I was dating, I found it very difficult to manuever. Men seemed to always expect sex by "the third date" and I do not consider spending three dates with someone time enough to get to know them. I'm NOT a prude, but three hours of discussing each other's life wasn't enough for me, personally, to feel like I can get naked and enjoy myself. LOL.

Although, I must set, after my first date with my husband, I suddenly and magically DESPERATELY wanted to jump his bones!!! It was so unlike me to feel that way. I didn't do it (WAY too scared. LOL.), but I wanted to. He hung in there for QUITE a few dates before we finally did the deed. LOL.

Don't be too hard on yourself - just move on. If you're not comfortable with casual sex, just don't do it! You know how you feel about it now, so . . .just move on.

(BIG HUGS)

triangle · 04-19-2009, 09:49 AM

Not a problem with it so long as both people understand what it is. I know guys who lead women on into thinking they might get a relationship, but have no intention of committing. That's where people get hurt I think. I'm sure there are women who do that too. But if both people are comfortable with it then why not?