no more sex in relationship

[Profane]

Fellas read Roger Devlin's essay on female sexuality called "Rotating Polyandry" and it'll open your eyes on this issue. Female libido usually wanes/disappears because she's bored with the relationship and/or her partner.

I'd bet my bottom dollar if the OP broke up with her girlfriend she'd hook up with a new guy in less than a fortnight and shagging him senseless every night. lol

http://72.14.235.132/search?q=cache:...&ct=clnk&gl=au



BTW Is sirengrl tid bit's new username? Her avvie pic is a dead ringer for her. lol

[Tester_T]

Wow, you are extreme. You're comparing me KISSING someone to being a rapist?!?! I'm ont even going to try and rationalize that. You're absolutely ridiculous.

Haha, I know this guy is joke.

He acts like he's the standard of good moral.

[LeftNut]

You're comparing a rapists with a cheater?

Your rational is a little off my friend. Sorry guy, you're far from wise.

Oh yeah sorry I forget Im dealing with people who dont have the initiative to read between the lines. Ok let me try it again...

The point is not actions it is mistakes..get it? Mistakes not actions.

Now try and read it again.

[LeftNut]

Haha, I know this guy is joke.

He acts like he's the standard of good moral.

I act like what......calling someone out on their hypocrisy suddenly makes me a bastion of morality? Erm I guess I missed that memo.

[Tester_T]

Oh yeah sorry I forget Im dealing with people who dont have the initiative to read between the lines. Ok let me try it again...

The point is not actions it is mistakes..get it? Mistakes not actions.

Now try and read it again.

Um... sorry guy. That's poor writing skills. No reader would have thought of reading between the lines there buddy.

Your rational is really bad. Frankly, really bad.

[sirengrl1106]

Oh yeah sorry I forget Im dealing with people who dont have the initiative to read between the lines. Ok let me try it again...

The point is not actions it is mistakes..get it? Mistakes not actions.

Now try and read it again.

I just think you're taking what I said a little to the max dude. When I said I had been unfaithful I didnt mean I was out shagging every dick in town. To me unfaithful was doing ANYTHING with someone other than the person I was in a relationship with. I flt like **** afterwards, I tried hiding it from my boyfriend but eventually broke down and told him because I felt like such a ****ty girlfriend. And i was. But the fact I have since become a fantastic wife and grown up (which by the way does happen for some people, maybe some day it will happen for you too).

You seriously need to chill the F out

[Tester_T]

I just think you're taking what I said a little to the max dude. When I said I had been unfaithful I didnt mean I was out shagging every dick in town. To me unfaithful was doing ANYTHING with someone other than the person I was in a relationship with. I flt like **** afterwards, I tried hiding it from my boyfriend but eventually broke down and told him because I felt like such a ****ty girlfriend. And i was. But the fact I have since become a fantastic wife and grown up (which by the way does happen for some people, maybe some day it will happen for you too).

You seriously need to chill the F out

Haha, I just read his age. He's 21.

Give it a week and he will post a thread... "Guys, I'm 21 and never kissed a girl."

[sirengrl1106]

Haha, I just read his age. He's 21.

Give it a week and he will post a thread... "Guys, I'm 21 and never kissed a girl."

Well, the fact he's 21 I don't think should matter. 21 year olds are perfectly capable of being rationale, just this particular topic, (i think) he's a little off the mark.

[LeftNut]

Um... sorry guy. That's poor writing skills. No reader would have thought of reading between the lines there buddy.

Your rational is really bad. Frankly, really bad.

Really because its abundantly clear to me that point is not about or anything to do with rapists or thieves or even comparing them to a cheater...the post is quit clearly talking of mistakes and then they hypocrisy of giving advise to people based on do as I say and not what I do.

Her act means nothing, the hypocrisy means everything.

[Tester_T]

Well, the fact he's 21 I don't think should matter. 21 year olds are perfectly capable of being rationale, just this particular topic, (i think) he's a little off the mark.

Usually when you're young, you still don't have a hold on all your emotions yet. You don't really start experience all ranges of emotions until your in your late teens (I won't go into detail), so being only 21 he only had them for like 3-4 years now. It's not that long. Even at my age it's still not that long.

He's probably ringing up so many emotions over this. Rape and cheating? Wow, something must not be ringing right that's for sure.

[sirengrl1106]

Really because its abundantly clear to me that point is not about or anything to do with rapists or thieves or even comparing them to a cheater...the post is quit clearly talking of mistakes and then they hypocrisy of giving advise to people based on do as I say and not what I do.

Her act means nothing, the hypocrisy means everything.

My act....give me a break.

So, oh wise one, you mean to tell me you've never done sometihng in your ENTIRE life that you regret and later learned from??? Riiiight.

I guess they must grow them different over there than they do in the US. Here, it's generally okay to learn from your actions and better yourself. But if you want to define yourself by all your transgressions, then go ahead.

I choose to look at the WOMAN i am now instead of the GIRL i was then.

[Tester_T]

Really because its abundantly clear to me that point is not about or anything to do with rapists or thieves or even comparing them to a cheater...the post is quit clearly talking of mistakes and then they hypocrisy of giving advise to people based on do as I say and not what I do.

Her act means nothing, the hypocrisy means everything.

Hypocrite or not, NEVER contrast two things that aren't meant to be. Rape and cheating? Come on. You should have picked something else there.

That's my point. What you were trying to accomplish in that post was overshadowed by the fact that you tried to contrast rape and cheating. That in itself is really stupid.

That's like trying explain something to someone at school while jumping. They won't be listening to you at all. They will be thinking... "Why the **** are you jumping?" And they will miss your point completely. By reading you post and seeing the contrast between rape and cheating, I asked myself right away... "Why the **** is he comparing rape and cheating?"

[LeftNut]

Haha, I just read his age. He's 21.

Give it a week and he will post a thread... "Guys, I'm 21 and never kissed a girl."

Rofl I see what you did there...undermine the subject based on a persons age. I'd be impressed if it wasn't the first time someone wanted to push their own superiority complex on to others based on a numerical value that in the grand scheme of things means nothing.

Ah its pretty cool how you then correlated it with a supposed lack of sexual intimacy...kudos bro as a 24yr old you're doing yourself proud with your maturity.

But then having read your other post... why doesn't it surprise me that you'd resort to childishness instead of debating like the oh so superior 3yr old elder that you are.

[Tester_T]

Rofl I see what you did there...undermine the subject based on a persons age. I'd be impressed if it wasn't the first time someone wanted to push their own superiority complex on to others based on a numerical value that in the grand scheme of things means nothing.

Ah its pretty cool how you then correlated it with a supposed lack of sexual intimacy...kudos bro as a 24yr old you're doing yourself proud with your maturity.

But then having read your other post... why doesn't it surprise me that you'd resort to childishness instead of debating like the oh so superior 3yr old elder that you are.

You're right.

[user3657]

She's cheating or there is a 90% possibility of it. Usually no sex for you means sex for someone else, or she likes someone else and no longer likes you. So either way your on your way out the door. This is just the beginning. Even if you think you know shes not up to anything, youd be freakin suprised how slick most ppl can be or how blind you can be. Doesnt take an entire day and a grand lie to cheat on someone. Simply going to the store, doing laundry, going to class and skipping class, all give enough time to hook someone else up and you would never know.

She's cheating.

not agreeing with anyone here.......but i was ****ing this girl all the time for about 3 weeks.........then all of a sudden it stopped. she cried it was her past, etc etc, felt used whatever. about a month of me hanging trying, it came out. she offically had a bf "last week". they apparently met the time me and her stopped having sex.

no signs, always texted me back, never said no to hanging out, etc. but we also lived 45mins away. and never really hung out on the weekends.


is she always avaiable? this is a sign that she isnt cheating.

[LeftNut]

My act....give me a break.

So, oh wise one, you mean to tell me you've never done sometihng in your ENTIRE life that you regret and later learned from??? Riiiight.

I guess they must grow them different over there than they do in the US. Here, it's generally okay to learn from your actions and better yourself. But if you want to define yourself by all your transgressions, then go ahead.

I choose to look at the WOMAN i am now instead of the GIRL i was then.

Have I? sure I have...am I hypocrite who then advises people not to do the same thing that I do...not so much because my credibility on the subject matter becomes asinine.

Learn? You telling me that you didn't know cheating was wrong? I hope for your sake you dont need to experiance getting hit by a bus to know its going to hurt.

You can choose to look at yourself however you want, when I see you advocate spending money to have sex, emotional needs needing to be met and telling people that they should ignore shady behaviour whilst admitting actions that go against what you preach then Im going to choose to look at you as a hypocrite. Sorry if you dont like the idea of being judged by your actions but unfortunately this is how society works.

Hypocrite or not, NEVER contrast two things that aren't meant to be. Rape and cheating? Come on. You should have picked something else there.

That's my point. What you were trying to accomplish in that post was overshadowed by the fact that you tried to contrast rape and cheating. That in itself is really stupid.

That's like trying explain something to someone at school while jumping. They won't be listening to you at all. They will be thinking... "Why the **** are you jumping?" And they will miss your point completely. By reading you post and seeing the contrast between rape and cheating, I asked myself right away... "Why the **** is he comparing rape and cheating?"

Did I at any point claim rape or thieving is the equivalent of cheating? The contrast is clearly on listening to a person whose credibility is shot to pieces. Poor choice of examples I admit dues to assuming people wouldn't be so literal with them but they still stand true for the point they were used to make....hypocrisy. Im all for learning from others but from hypocrites not so much.

You're right.

No you're right.

[Tester_T]

Did I at any point claim rape or thieving is the equivalent of cheating? The contrast is clearly on listening to a person whose credibility is shot to pieces. Poor choice of examples I admit dues to assuming people wouldn't be so literal with them but they still stand true for the point they were used to make....hypocrisy.



No you're right.

Oh I totally saw your point, but do you see how the reader would be thrown off? You lose the reader for a second because of that. I know it's not english class or anything.

The attention of the reader gets shifted because of that comment. You don't want to have that.

Anyways, have a good night.

Cheers!

[gomango259]

wow there is a TON of terrible advise and opinions in this thread.

my girlfriend and i went through the same thing. we were so horny we did it multiple times every day for the first 2 years. then the whole 3rd year she just wasnt very horny. it wasnt new and exciting, we didnt really have anywhere to do it, etc... she just wanted to cuddle. but we still had sex like twice a week, but it wasn't anything like how we use to be. we use to be crazy doing it in the car or the movies or outside, but the 3rd year she would only do it in my dorm room.

we talked about it a lot (we are extremely close, friends since 10th grade, dating since 11th). i knew for 100000% she wasnt cheating. and she just told me the same stuff your girl told you. she wants to do it w/ me, she just doesnt have that same urge. then all the sudden she started reading porn online. like crazy porn online and it got her so horny. now it has went back just to the way it use to be.

so basically, just wait it out. encourage her to find things that will make her horny. i've found that the more my gf masturbates the hornier she is w/ me. so encourage her to do that. dont get frustrated and put too much pressure on her, that'll just make it worse.

[LeftNut]

Oh I totally saw your point, but do you see how the reader would be thrown off? You lose the reader for a second because of that. I know it's not english class or anything.

The attention of the reader gets shifted because of that comment. You don't want to have that.

Anyways, have a good night.

Cheers!

I don't tbh, (and I've just realised that she kissed a guy not sexed him so Im obviously wrong with the level of her claims of unfaithfulness were, so for that I apologise but I'll take the negs for jumping the gun gladly) it was never meant to be a literal point other than to set a follow up to preaching hypocrisy. But I'll take the lesson on board and not be so quick to use the first examples that come to mind next time Im trying to make a point.

/Hijack

[therealdeal64]

wow there is a TON of terrible advise and opinions in this thread.

my girlfriend and i went through the same thing. we were so horny we did it multiple times every day for the first 2 years. then the whole 3rd year she just wasnt very horny. it wasnt new and exciting, we didnt really have anywhere to do it, etc... she just wanted to cuddle. but we still had sex like twice a week, but it wasn't anything like how we use to be. we use to be crazy doing it in the car or the movies or outside, but the 3rd year she would only do it in my dorm room.

we talked about it a lot (we are extremely close, friends since 10th grade, dating since 11th). i knew for 100000% she wasnt cheating. and she just told me the same stuff your girl told you. she wants to do it w/ me, she just doesnt have that same urge. then all the sudden she started reading porn online. like crazy porn online and it got her so horny. now it has went back just to the way it use to be.

so basically, just wait it out. encourage her to find things that will make her horny. i've found that the more my gf masturbates the hornier she is w/ me. so encourage her to do that. dont get frustrated and put too much pressure on her, that'll just make it worse.

this is by far the best advice given in this thread. ill definitely try it. thank you!!!!

[daviess]

ok, i got a problem. i have been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half. we used to have sex all the time (sometimes even 4x per day). now its like she never has the time to have sex or she's always too tired. this started after about 6-8 months into the relationship. can someone help me out? i think this is making us more distant and putting a strain on the relationship. im sure others have experienced this. shes on birth control too btw.

every new relationship has sex all the time, its the honey moon phase and the 'newness' its normal for it to die down a bit. switch things up make it interesting. but dont bug her for it, you dont want her to feel like its a chore.
give her a oil massage and slip it in . lol

[HEART_BREAKER]

she's fukking someone else

and you are a sucker

ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU ITS NORMAL FOR A WOMAN NOT TO GIVE YOU POON IS A BOLD FACED LIAR

[therealdeal64]

bump for advice. things are going pretty rocky right now. i feel like she's bored with me or something to that effect. im kinda hesitant to use the word bored though because whenever i suggest something she never wants to do it.

its almost like she doesn't understand the situation that she's not meeting my needs or doesn't want to meet them.

[J-Bol]

I've gone throught this. For us, it was due to birth control lowering libido and stress form work and school. I simply made it clear that it's ridiculous I can't physically show my love for my own fiance without having to almost force it. She made the necessary changes by contacting her ob/gyn and getting the BC issue straightened out and she came to the realization that stressing out over school and work will do her no good. This all didn't happen over night, mind you. It takes some time but it was well worth the wait. I also made changes to show her that I appreciate everything she does for me.

[Jaw-Knee]

bump for advice. things are going pretty rocky right now. i feel like she's bored with me or something to that effect. im kinda hesitant to use the word bored though because whenever i suggest something she never wants to do it.

its almost like she doesn't understand the situation that she's not meeting my needs or doesn't want to meet them.

There's a reason SAT tutorials tell you to go with your gut when you're in doubt, man. And honestly, it really does sound like she's getting bored of you.

[DANDIESEL]

soo.. she is bored of you and doesnt want to fukk. you tried talking to her but she is in "shut down mode".
maybe some of the stuff we been telin you will finally seep in now?
sometimes its better to cut your losses instead of becoming a shell of a man, wanting, needing, and generally being a punk or beta.
this is why women act the way they do,
because we put up with their **** so they kno thay can get away from it.. now im not woman hater, i love women, but stay in a position of power where you arent going to put up with any bull****.
thats when your sex life and life in general will improve.

[budnick]

birth control can lower her libido.

You need to get her to talk to her doctor any possible switch birth control, some can drastically affect a womans sex drive.

If that doesn't work, get a new girlfriend.

[princessnad]

She is bored.

I am head over heals in love with my boyfriend and we had a period of time when I just wasn't as into it as he was.

It was the winter and I always feel down during that time. Anyway, we talked it out and though it was pretty normal for me, I let him know that if things were a little more exciting maybe I would be more enticed.

It stopped being a problem when he started getting more creative.


PS It's not only a female thing. At certain times I have an extremely high drive and he doesn't. At those times he will still accept sex but doesn't pursue it. Two people aren't always on the same page. Just communicate and you can solve it.


For the record, I don't think she is cheating. But if she keeps asking you to "rape" her and you don't give her some spice she may look for a new relationship where it is more new, fresh and exciting.