no more sex in relationship

[sirengrl1106]

You guys are missng the point I was making. So, you do'nt like the idea of going to a hotel, fine....drive in your car to the middle of nowhere and screw in the car, I don't care. I just meant, do something out of the norm for BOTH of them. Sheesh.

[Jaw-Knee]

You guys are missng the point I was making. So, you do'nt like the idea of going to a hotel, fine....drive in your car to the middle of nowhere and screw in the car, I don't care. I just meant, do something out of the norm for BOTH of them. Sheesh.

And, not surprisingly, him shelling out money was the first thing that came to mind.

It's not his responsibility to fix her. He's the one already making the effort and she's the one doing nothing. He shouldn't have to pay for anything as it is; the fact that he's the one making any effort at all means he has even less reason to essentially pay his girlfriend to give it up.

[sirengrl1106]

And, not surprisingly, him shelling out money was the first thing that came to mind.

It's not his responsibility to fix her. He's the one already making the effort and she's the one doing nothing. He shouldn't have to pay for anything as it is; the fact that he's the one making any effort at all means he has even less reason to essentially pay his girlfriend to give it up.

Well, you are hearing the man's side of things. And rightly so since he is the one posting here, I was just offering advice from a chick's pov of what might help. If the goal is to get the sex life better, then who gives a **** if it costs the guy or the girl money. They are in a relationship for crying out loud.

[Jaw-Knee]

Well, you are hearing the man's side of things. And rightly so since he is the one posting here, I was just offering advice from a chick's pov of what might help. If the goal is to get the sex life better, then who gives a **** if it costs the guy or the girl money. They are in a relationship for crying out loud.

Which is exactly why he shouldn't have to pay to get a piece of her pussy. She should be doing her part.

[sirengrl1106]

Which is exactly why he shouldn't have to pay to get a piece of her pussy. She should be doing her part.

Well, she isn't and unless you plan on getting the gf's phone number and talking to her yourself, if the OP wants things to change, he can't force the gf to do anything differently, so he can :

A. continue being pissed and miserable because she isn't changing
B. take it upon himself to do something different
C. break up with her

[Jaw-Knee]

Well, she isn't and unless you plan on getting the gf's phone number and talking to her yourself, if the OP wants things to change, he can't force the gf to do anything differently, so he can :

A. continue being pissed and miserable because she isn't changing
B. take it upon himself to do something different
C. break up with her

D. Tell her straight up she's not doing her part, then resort to option C if she starts bitching at him about what a shallow piece of **** he is for wanting sex from a girl who used to give it to him frequently and now apparently doesn't give a rat's ass.

He can't force her to do anything, but she shouldn't be forcing his hand like this. She sure as hell shouldn't be holding out because he doesn't give her enough gifts, and he shouldn't have to give her gifts to get some ass. Again--she's supposed to be his girlfriend, not a hooker.

A hooker might be less of a pain in the ass though, OP. Just a thought.

[sirengrl1106]

D. Tell her straight up she's not doing her part, then resort to option C if she starts bitching at him about what a shallow piece of **** he is for wanting sex from a girl who used to give it to him frequently and now apparently doesn't give a rat's ass.

He can't force her to do anything, but she shouldn't be forcing his hand like this. She sure as hell shouldn't be holding out because he doesn't give her enough gifts, and he shouldn't have to give her gifts to get some ass. Again--she's supposed to be his girlfriend, not a hooker.

A hooker might be less of a pain in the ass though, OP. Just a thought.

I don't think the girlfriend has said her emotional needs haven't been met. But, I actually agree with your opinion. had this very conversation some time ago with my husband and he put it in perspective for me what it's like for a guy to go w/o sex for long periods of time. Mine wasn't because I didn't want to ahve sex with him, or that I didn't feel emotionally fulfilled, I truly had a hormonal imbalance as a result of my pregnancy etc; so, I went and got meds and it seems to be working. prior to being on medication though, I would do it because I knew that's what he wanted, not because I really wanted to. But eventually that starts to take a toll on the sexual relationship as well

[NYY]

Holy crap dude, since you do'nt have a girlfriend, clearly you have no idea how to offer legitimate advice. Since I'm married and have had to work on my relationship since being in it 5 years ago, I think I have a little better idea about what might get the girl's mojo going.

Paying for $100.00 for a hotel and a swanky outfit to get her back in the groove, sounds like a pretty good investment vs being unhappy with the sex life.

You have some serious women issues.

I'd rather take the $100 and buy my ass **** for my car than to use it for someone that requires me to jump through some hoops.

[neekz0r]

we do. i have tried to talk to her about that a million of times and she can never give me a straight answer other than im stressed, im tired, im not in the mood, etc. she did mention one time that she would like me to "rape" her, but i dont know how to go about that since she never wants to have sex anyway.

Come up with a safe word she can use. She only gets to use it once. Wait a month or whatever. Come back, be really aggressive and 'rape' her.

i really think she has become complacent in the relationship and wants us to do something new and spicy, maybe??? but shes putting in no effort at all and thats what makes me mad.

It's a woman thing, oft times it seems as though if a relationship isn't working out it's automatically our fault. Whatever. Honestly, your best bet is to break up with her and move on. She's grown complacent.

[Jaw-Knee]

I don't think the girlfriend has said her emotional needs haven't been met. But, I actually agree with your opinion. had this very conversation some time ago with my husband and he put it in perspective for me what it's like for a guy to go w/o sex for long periods of time. Mine wasn't because I didn't want to ahve sex with him, or that I didn't feel emotionally fulfilled, I truly had a hormonal imbalance as a result of my pregnancy etc; so, I went and got meds and it seems to be working. prior to being on medication though, I would do it because I knew that's what he wanted, not because I really wanted to. But eventually that starts to take a toll on the sexual relationship as well

The "emotional needs" schtick is a crock. It's a line women use to get men to jump through hoops to get sex. Often times such hoops include pricey material items.

Sex is often times a lot like going to the gym. You might not want to go to the gym because you're tired or you're in a bad mood, but you go anyway, and once you start repping your **** out you get into it. If you consistently have bad workouts, then go get **** checked out.

I'd rather take the $100 and buy my ass **** for my car than to use it for someone that requires me to jump through some hoops.

Seriously.

[LeftNut]

The "emotional needs" schtick is a crock. It's a line women use to get men to jump through hoops to get sex. Often times such hoops include pricey material items.

Sex is often times a lot like going to the gym. You might not want to go to the gym because you're tired or you're in a bad mood, but you go anyway, and once you start repping your **** out you get into it. If you consistently have bad workouts, then go get **** checked out.



Seriously.

Well considering she's offered more insight to herself in another thread, the question is....

When she cheated on her Ex (yrs and yrs ago) at what point did she come to the realisation that the meeting of her emotional needs were at the end of another man penis?

Im just curious because when my emotional needs, need to be met (yes I am a man and I too have emotions), I dont tend to find myself with another girls sexual organ in my mouth. Weird as that may seem.

[Jaw-Knee]

Well considering she's offered more insight to herself in another thread, the question is....

When she cheated on her Ex (yrs and yrs ago) at what point did she come to the realisation that the meeting of her emotional needs were at the end of another man penis?

Im just curious because when my emotional needs, need to be met (yes I am a man and I too have emotions), I dont tend to find myself with another girls sexual organ in my mouth. Weird as that may seem.

Whoa whoa whoooooa.

Aware me, please.

[LeftNut]

Whoa whoa whoooooa.

Aware me, please.

In the did she cheat on me thread...

Okay, well, good points. Unfortunately I have been the girl who was unfaithful (not with my husband, but years and years ago), I think I recall myself calling more, being more affectionate, trying everything I could not to make him suspicious, though that in itself was suspicious of course. So...it's possible that she texted him to cover her ass, meanwhile, as she's typing on the text with one hand, she's got the fratty d*** in the other.

[Jaw-Knee]

In the did she cheat on me thread...

Lol, no wonder she was telling the OP to start shelling out the dollar bills.

Whatever respect there was left is now gone.

[sirengrl1106]

Well considering she's offered more insight to herself in another thread, the question is....

When she cheated on her Ex (yrs and yrs ago) at what point did she come to the realisation that the meeting of her emotional needs were at the end of another man penis?

Im just curious because when my emotional needs, need to be met (yes I am a man and I too have emotions), I dont tend to find myself with another girls sexual organ in my mouth. Weird as that may seem.

About two years ago when my hsuband and I started going to see a marriage counselor and through that realized the unhealthy relationship I had with sex. Next time I'll just not be honest about my own experiences and pretend that I have all my **** together, like you. In grown up world, sharing your mistakes AND your successes is considered a good thing.

[Jaw-Knee]

About two years ago when my hsuband and I started going to see a marriage counselor and through that realized the unhealthy relationship I had with sex. Next time I'll just not be honest about my own experiences and pretend that I have all my **** together, like you. In grown up world, sharing your mistakes AND your successes is considered a good thing.

Cheating, however, is not. I doubt you felt bad about it when you were doing it.

[sirengrl1106]

Lol, no wonder she was telling the OP to start shelling out the dollar bills.

Whatever respect there was left is now gone.

So...you have more respect for people who hide their mistakes and act as though they are better than everyone else??? Not a proud time in my life what so ever....but it has made me a much better wife and person realizing where I used to be and where I have ended up.

[sirengrl1106]

Cheating, however, is not. I doubt you felt bad about it when you were doing it.

Nope, I didn't. Mind you, I was 18/19 years old and had no idea what the F i was doingin my life. I made many the same mistakes as a lot of the fellow miscers around here. It took meeting my husband, and a lot of **** going down between the two of us (and becoming a mom) for me to realize I needed to make some changes in my lfe.

[LeftNut]

About two years ago when my hsuband and I started going to see a marriage counselor and through that realized the unhealthy relationship I had with sex. Next time I'll just not be honest about my own experiences and pretend that I have all my **** together, like you. In grown up world, sharing your mistakes AND your successes is considered a good thing.

No that just makes you a hypocrite. Here's another grown up world lesson for you..... when your actions go directly in opposition to your message you are trying to convey then you stay away from the topic because your credibility on the topic goes to ****. You dont however go on some retard rhetoric about pseudo emotional needs and then advise others to bow down to your own agenda when its a complete fallacy as shown by your actions.

Oh and I've never cheated...but then again my emotional needs dont dictate me screwing another person so hey what do I know eh?

[Jaw-Knee]

So...you have more respect for people who hide their mistakes and act as though they are better than everyone else??? Not a proud time in my life what so ever....but it has made me a much better wife and person realizing where I used to be and where I have ended up.

I have more respect for the people who admit that they did **** they shouldn't have done in the past and accept that not everybody's going to be cool with them because of what they did than I do for people who make "mistakes" and expect everybody to pat them on the back for spilling their guts.

"Mistake?" You make mistakes on math homework. Acting the sweet, loyal girlfriend and sucking and fucking other guys on the side is downright ****ty.

No that just makes you a hypocrite. Here's another grown up world lesson for you..... when your actions go directly in opposition to your message you are trying to convey then you stay away from the topic because your credibility on the topic goes to ****. You dont however go on some retard rhetoric about pseudo emotional needs and then advise others to bow down to your own agenda when its a complete fallacy as shown by your actions.

Oh and I've never cheated...but then again my emotional needs dont dictate me screwing another person so hey what do I know eh?

Once again, LeftNut FTMFW.

Lol @ hypocrites preaching values.

[sirengrl1106]

No that just makes you a hypocrite. Here's another grown up world lesson for you..... when your actions go directly in opposition to your message you are trying to convey then you stay away from the topic because your credibility on the topic goes to ****. You dont however go on some retard rhetoric about pseudo emotional needs and then advise others to bow down to your own agenda when its a complete fallacy as shown by your actions.

Um. my "actions" were seven years ago. How old were you then? Thirteen??

Think what you want, but I stand behind my advice. I'm not a perfect person, but I have worked damn hard to become the woman I am today. I'm not a hypocrite, I'm a person who LEARNED from mistakes when I was young. Cant' say the same for a lot of people in the world. If I was a habitual cheater, then yeah, I shouldn't be talking about anything to do with relationships. But, that isn't the case.

[Jaw-Knee]

Um. my "actions" were seven years ago. How old were you then? Thirteen??

Think what you want, but I stand behind my advice. I'm not a perfect person, but I have worked damn hard to become the woman I am today. I'm not a hypocrite, I'm a person who LEARNED from mistakes when I was young. Cant' say the same for a lot of people in the world. If I was a habitual cheater, then yeah, I shouldn't be talking about anything to do with relationships. But, that isn't the case.

Right, because the fact that it was only a little bit of cheating makes it okay.

GTFO.

[sirengrl1106]

I have more respect for the people who admit that they did **** they shouldn't have done in the past and accept that not everybody's going to be cool with them because of what they did than I do for people who make "mistakes" and expect everybody to pat them on the back for spilling their guts.

"Mistake?" You make mistakes on math homework. Acting the sweet, loyal girlfriend and sucking and fucking other guys on the side is downright ****ty.



Once again, LeftNut FTMFW.

Lol @ hypocrites preaching values.

Okay,well let me clarity, what I meant by unfaithful, (though still just as ****ty). I kissed someone else. I have NEVER been sexual with anyone besides the person I am in a monogamous relationship with.

But, yes, you're right, what I did then was totally ****ty, no argument. I wasn't spilling my guts to be some hero or anything, I was just trying to give some insight on what I've learned since that period in my life.

[sirengrl1106]

Right, because the fact that it was only a little bit of cheating makes it okay.

GTFO.

iWhatever, I'm not going to argue because regardles of what I say you're going to think what you want.

[Jaw-Knee]

Okay,well let me clarity, what I meant by unfaithful, (though still just as ****ty). I kissed someone else. I have NEVER been sexual with anyone besides the person I am in a monogamous relationship with.

But, yes, you're right, what I did then was totally ****ty, no argument. I wasn't spilling my guts to be some hero or anything, I was just trying to give some insight on what I've learned since that period in my life.

Lol, let me guess--you were drunk, right?

iWhatever, I'm not going to argue because regardles of what I say you're going to think what you want.

Why, did I somehow get the wrong idea when I fell under the impression that cheating was bad? Mercy me.

[sirengrl1106]

Lol, let me guess--you were drunk, right?



Why, did I somehow get the wrong idea when I fell under the impression that cheating was bad? Mercy me.

Nope, I wasn't drunk. I was just a horrible girlfriend at the time actually.

I jst meant that I can't justify what I did when I was eighteen years old, but that's six years ago, clearly not the same person, and for good reason. I'm a mamma now, married, I'm older, I finished college etc;. I wasn't trying to justify my actions what so ever. It was terrible what I did to that boyfriend. And I felt like utter **** afterwards also. So, it wasn't a repeated thing either.

[Tester_T]

Cheating is nothing. I cheated and I admit it all the time. What's the big deal?

I haven't met a girl who was bothered by it yet. I've been upfront with my views on it. If my girl went away for awhile and was having fun with a guy she met there, I wouldn't care if she slept with him. If she continued a relationship with a guy while with me, I would like to know because that's just strange. But if she's open for it, then I'm good with it.

So basically they know that I'm all about positives. If she has fun with that other guy, I don't care if she goes on further into exploring the guy and experiencing some good things like making out, sex, who knows. That's her choice and I won't take that away from her. It would be different if she had some sort of problem.

It's normal for people to like other people. I'm not going to punish people for being normal now.

People might say I can't control myself. That's the biggest joke ever. I've had girls say they want to **** me and I didn't. And they were hot as hell. Why? Because I was seeing someone and I didn't like them as a person to begin with. Most guys would do it because it's not often hot girls are attracted to them. The time I cheated was with a girl I liked as a person and she was also hot. Yes, I told my girlfriend that. It wasn't meaningless.

Meaningless cheating is retarded.

[LeftNut]

Lol @ hypocrites preaching values.

Tell me about it. lulz.

Um. my "actions" were seven years ago. How old were you then? Thirteen??

Think what you want, but I stand behind my advice. I'm not a perfect person, but I have worked damn hard to become the woman I am today. I'm not a hypocrite, I'm a person who LEARNED from mistakes when I was young. Cant' say the same for a lot of people in the world. If I was a habitual cheater, then yeah, I shouldn't be talking about anything to do with relationships. But, that isn't the case.

Ok so other than proving your numeracy skills are up to par...whats your point?

That because you cheated once and regret it, that you shouldn't be tarred by the same brush as everyone else? Well Im sure there are plenty of rapists in Prison who've made the mistake just once and regret it too but they all get tarred with the same brush as do thieves who only stole once as well. But neither of them are going to be preaching on morality and the Law that governs society to young kids any time soon are they?

But whatever, to each there own I guess, though when lectured with advise I just tend to prefer someone who practices what they preach but I guess Im weird like that. Oh and advising the OP in the other thread if he calls his chick out on her **** that he'd be psycho/insecure and to quit thinking about it.....again coming from a cheater the credibility goes out the window. As does the legitimacy of the 'emotional needs' concept you keep promoting.

[sirengrl1106]

Tell me about it. lulz.



Ok so other than proving your numeracy skills are up to par...whats your point?

That because you cheated once and regret it, that you shouldn't be tarred by the same brush as everyone else? Well Im sure there are plenty of rapists in Prison who've made the mistake just once and regret it too but they all get tarred with the same brush as do thieves who only stole once as well. But neither of them are going to be preaching on morality and the Law that governs society to young kids any time soon are they?

But whatever, to each there own I guess, though when lectured with advise I just tend to prefer someone who practices what they preach but I guess Im weird like that. Oh and advising the OP in the other thread if he calls his chick out on her **** that he'd be psycho/insecure and to quit thinking about it.....again coming from a cheater the credibility goes out the window. As does the legitimacy of the 'emotional needs' concept you keep promoting.

Wow, you are extreme. You're comparing me KISSING someone to being a rapist?!?! I'm ont even going to try and rationalize that. You're absolutely ridiculous.

[Tester_T]

Tell me about it. lulz.



Ok so other than proving your numeracy skills are up to par...whats your point?

That because you cheated once and regret it, that you shouldn't be tarred by the same brush as everyone else? Well Im sure there are plenty of rapists in Prison who've made the mistake just once and regret it too but they all get tarred with the same brush as do thieves who only stole once as well. But neither of them are going to be preaching on morality and the Law that governs society to young kids any time soon are they?

But whatever, to each there own I guess, though when lectured with advise I just tend to prefer someone who practices what they preach but I guess Im weird like that. Oh and advising the OP in the other thread if he calls his chick out on her **** that he'd be psycho/insecure and to quit thinking about it.....again coming from a cheater the credibility goes out the window. As does the legitimacy of the 'emotional needs' concept you keep promoting.

You're comparing a rapists with a cheater?

Your rational is a little off my friend. Sorry guy, you're far from wise.