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  1. #1
    Super_natural dn27's Avatar
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    How do I tell my girlfriend she gives terrible hand-jobs?

    Title pretty much says it all. With her last night, she failed MISSERABLY, it hurt. Luckaly I could change it up and go down on her, but what to I tell her in the future?

    (serious topic)
    (accepting answers for the lulz)
    If you need me, I'll be under 460+ pounds. If you find me on the floor, please get the weight off of me.

    A curl works your arms.... not your back.

    Shut up and eat!

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  2. #2
    This user is a 10/10 dragongly's Avatar
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    Just come out with it. Say youre doing it wrong. Whats the problem
    We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France,
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    we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be,
    we shall fight on the beaches,
    we shall fight on the landing grounds,
    we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
    we shall fight in the hills;
    we shall never surrender
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  3. #3
    Registered User GNHun's Avatar
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    wtf? Just tell her she doing it wrong and it hurts.

    Or just let her keep on going, and once it starts bleeding she might get the point.
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  4. #4
    Super_natural dn27's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GNHun View Post
    wtf? Just tell her she doing it wrong and it hurts.

    Or just let her keep on going, and once it starts bleeding she might get the point.
    Lol. Idk, I don't want to just come up to her and say, "Hey, remember last night? You were doing it wrong... Yes mad."
    If you need me, I'll be under 460+ pounds. If you find me on the floor, please get the weight off of me.

    A curl works your arms.... not your back.

    Shut up and eat!

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  5. #5
    Scottish Beef callum-2006's Avatar
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    Dont let girls give you handjobs man, only one person can jack you off properly and thats you. You can jack it in your own time, get her to do things that you cant do to yourself.
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  6. #6
    hic sunt dracones The_Albatross's Avatar
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    tell her that the saying choking the chicken isn't meant to be taken literally
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  7. #7
    Registered User Robochrist's Avatar
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    make one of these with but with a pic of her giving a handjob

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  8. #8
    Registered User Polamaluisraw43's Avatar
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    haha right during the middle of it just be like, "wrong, yes mad" that'd be great
    I LOVE Maria Sharapova
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  9. #9
    Banned muddywaters51's Avatar
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    when it hurts make like noises like "ouch" and she'll think "o no im hurting him i wont do what i just did again". Then when she does it good say "yes!" and she'll think "I must be doing something right I'll keep doing what i just did"
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  10. #10
    Banned Naughty_Roo's Avatar
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    Why settle for a handjob? She should be sucking yo cock without complaint!
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  11. #11
    Check your Credentials Devils's Avatar
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    Just ****ing teach her.
    Last edited by Devils; 03-15-2009 at 06:28 AM.
    Reverse Dieting from Low bodyfat and Bulking log > http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=154107931

    Time to get Shredded again, 2015 > http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=164833121
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  12. #12
    Super_natural dn27's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Naughty_Roo View Post
    Why settle for a handjob? She should be sucking yo cock without complaint!
    We were in her parents basement... WHen they were home. Yes really horney.
    If you need me, I'll be under 460+ pounds. If you find me on the floor, please get the weight off of me.

    A curl works your arms.... not your back.

    Shut up and eat!

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  13. #13
    Registered User Animal4's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by callum-2006 View Post
    Dont let girls give you handjobs man, only one person can jack you off properly and thats you. You can jack it in your own time, get her to do things that you cant do to yourself.
    thissss
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  14. #14
    Registered User Mikeo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by callum-2006 View Post
    get her to do things that you cant do to yourself.
    Like PIIYB?
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  15. #15
    Token hillbilly willoughby's Avatar
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    Send her this.

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  16. #16
    Super_natural dn27's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by willoughby View Post
    Send her this.

    Teptation rising.... Might send (srs)
    If you need me, I'll be under 460+ pounds. If you find me on the floor, please get the weight off of me.

    A curl works your arms.... not your back.

    Shut up and eat!

    My supps: Dedication, motivation, and a little bit of whey
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  17. #17
    iLove me some me TinyTex's Avatar
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    Who the hell gets hand jobs?
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  18. #18
    deracate chinese frower Mindi912's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by willoughby View Post
    Send her this.

    OMG i seriously LMAO...
    Perfection in mind, perfect body!

    MMA Fight Record:

    Amateur 1 - 0 - 0

    Pro - 0 - 0 - 1 :(
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  19. #19
    Registered User Venth's Avatar
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    "here try this"
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  20. #20
    Steal fat, make soap. Bababooey100's Avatar
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    Tell her a woman shouldn't be done a mans job.
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  21. #21
    Banned The_Great_One's Avatar
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    "Bitch, your handjobs are atrocious....just suck me up!"

    /thread
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  22. #22
    's gonna fall A_Hard_Rain's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by willoughby View Post
    Send her this.

    god truer words have never been spoken. the last handjob i got from this random girl i met was awful. my dick hurt afterwards, i wasn't even able to come, partially because of weed/alcohol, but mostly because she was so awful.
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  23. #23
    Im blue daba di daba di.. ChrisSWE's Avatar
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    Talking

    just say she is not stimulating protein synthesis.
    /10
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  24. #24
    'Defiant to Injuries' Ironlife's Avatar
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    You can tell her in a way that wont offend her too much, just say
    '' hey try it like this'' then show her and alls well.
    ~~~~~~~~~~
    ''Bro, get yourself under control lol next thing we know Illy is gonna be 175 lbs, addicted to coke, involved in gang activity, and with a 365 max deadlift... ''-Blizzard589
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
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  25. #25
    Registered User qmotion's Avatar
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    One handjob I got was horrible aswell. After 2 hours i still didnt come, guess she didn't notice the hint.
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  26. #26
    Registered User xXDarkJudgeXx's Avatar
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    If shes no good at a handjob, imagine the disaster a bj would be. Bitch will use lots of teeth and bite yo dick off.
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  27. #27
    Sapere aude TeHbOsNiAnDeWd's Avatar
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    dude..youd be amazed at what lotion does. tell her to squirt some of that **** on her hand...and even a terrible handjob turns into a good handjob. Not great, but not bad either. Even she couldnt mess it up (i think lawl)

    Just be like "Babe, lets try it like this, and put a lilttle twist on the top"

    Bam. Problem solved.
    keep rep trading out of your signature line
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  28. #28
    Hoplite Zeneth's Avatar
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    Zeneth is just really nice. (+1000) Zeneth is just really nice. (+1000) Zeneth is just really nice. (+1000) Zeneth is just really nice. (+1000) Zeneth is just really nice. (+1000) Zeneth is just really nice. (+1000) Zeneth is just really nice. (+1000) Zeneth is just really nice. (+1000) Zeneth is just really nice. (+1000) Zeneth is just really nice. (+1000) Zeneth is just really nice. (+1000)
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    All girls should follow this rule:

    ''Don't bother doing anything they can do better to themselves.''
    No crew crew.
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  29. #29
    Sapere aude TeHbOsNiAnDeWd's Avatar
    Join Date: Jan 2007
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    TeHbOsNiAnDeWd is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) TeHbOsNiAnDeWd is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) TeHbOsNiAnDeWd is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) TeHbOsNiAnDeWd is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) TeHbOsNiAnDeWd is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) TeHbOsNiAnDeWd is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) TeHbOsNiAnDeWd is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) TeHbOsNiAnDeWd is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) TeHbOsNiAnDeWd is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) TeHbOsNiAnDeWd is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) TeHbOsNiAnDeWd is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500)
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    Originally Posted by Zeneth View Post
    All girls should follow this rule:

    ''Don't bother doing anything they can do better to themselves.''
    wait.....wat?
    keep rep trading out of your signature line
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  30. #30
    R.A.W. RIP brother Iceman1800's Avatar
    Join Date: Jul 2003
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    Iceman1800 has the mod powerz Iceman1800 has the mod powerz Iceman1800 has the mod powerz Iceman1800 has the mod powerz Iceman1800 has the mod powerz Iceman1800 has the mod powerz Iceman1800 has the mod powerz Iceman1800 has the mod powerz Iceman1800 has the mod powerz Iceman1800 has the mod powerz Iceman1800 has the mod powerz
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    Originally Posted by dn27 View Post
    We were in her parents basement... WHen they were home. Yes really horney.
    just tell her but don't be a jerk about it. let her know how you want her to do it. If you were going down on her and you were lousy at it, she would tell you!
    8/6 surgery to remove herniated disc between L4/L5

    I didn't just wake up one day and decide to get stronger. I wake up every day and decide to get stronger.

    Be the person your dog thinks you are.
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