A personal question to those who were very overweight.

[corzzx]

I have never had weight problems myself, I just want a better body than I have. I just read a thread that made me realise that I have no idea what people go through having weight problems. Being almost naive, I have always struggled to work out how people get so overweight, with all the health problems and social issues that it would bring on.

I have always been very curious how someone extremely overweight gets to the stage that they are at, and why they finally decide to change things. I find great pleasure in seeing people loose weight and the joy that it brings to them.

So, to those of you who were once, or still are, very overweight... What made you decide to change and why do you feel that you ended up getting to the weight you are/were before changing?

[Lpenny]

I got fat because I'd eat out of boredom and didn't exercise much. It sucks being fat, and although I've never been obese I've always been pretty chubby and I want it to change because being out of shape just limits me physically and it'll most likely lead to a shorter life.

[Xbrutalx233]

Other than for the obvious health reasons, I want to lose weight to change the way the world perceives me. There is such a stigma around fat people. I'm not a slobby person, I'm not even a lazy person. And I'd like to show that, and raise any limitations that I have.

[CorruptSilence]

This looks like a good spot to come back at. lol I was 315 Lbs. which was considered morbidly obese for my height, and on the verge of Super Obese which is the highest grouping. I was large to most, but small to others. I lost 75 lbs, and recently had a slip up. Got my ass back on this forum and back in gear. So I would assume that I qualify to respond to your question.
Truth of the matter is that there is really no one solid way to answer you. Everyone falls into different scenarios. Myself, it was a lack of caring to a degree and surrounding myself with the wrong environment. I was always in shape and very physical even beyond high school. I had to work at it though. I am an endomorph with mesomorphic tendencies. lol My issue was that as soon as I got married I changed my life. Instead of welding and throwing steel in a shop I took up a less strenuous career as a draftsman. Instead of hitting the gym and playing ball with the boys I stayed home with the wife and had kids almost immediately. I removed all of my activity to become the "perfect family man" and didn't change my eating habits accordingly. The weight slowly added up, and 8 years later I am 130 lbs. heavier. I almost didn't even realize it until I had already gained 100 lbs. Like I said, I no longer was an active person which means I wouldn't notice not being able to move or have the stamina I once did. After I finally did notice, I tried several crash and fad diets ending me up at 130 lbs. gained. (That is the how.)
I woke up one day and finally realized that my priorities were all f'ed up. I had been putting everything first but myself. I thought I was doing my family a favor by focussing on working 12 hours a day to give them a life they wanted and staying at home to have as much "together" time as was possible. It just all fell into place one day that I am not half the father or husband I could be. Mainly because I have not put myself or my health first. I was robbing them of opportunities. I could not keep up with my boy on the baseball or football field. I couldn't go hiking, skating, biking or swimming with them. I was supplying materialistic goods rather then the emotional and life building skills they needed. I damn near had a nervous breakdown. It all hit me at once. I looked in the mirror and fell apart. It's hard to realize that all this time you have been keeping your kids from key life experiences because you can't do it, or don't want to deal with the shame/looks and comments of trying in front of others that can. (That is why I changed.)
I am a long way from done, but I am happier then I have been in years and so is my family. I work 8 hours a day, and then we go to a park, ride our bikes, go on hikes, go ice skating, play catch or whatever else comes to our minds. I'm no longer a couch potato and my kids and wife ensure that I stay that way. I've had a rough patch the last 2 or 3 weeks, but it was a minor setback in the overall scheme. I will be at my goal weight by the end of summer. I hope that gives you some insights in my direction. As I said, everyone is different. I was once VERY fit and athletic. That is my drive. I know what it is like to do things, feel healthy and be "attractive". That is my motivation and always in my mind. I can't speak to anyone that has never had that. I have no clue as to how I would help someone like that or what their drive is?

BTW - Thank you for being respectful in the way you worded that. Some of the posts on here can get my blood boiling. lol I appreciate your decency.

[Il_Dago]

I got fat(ter) after I quit my job and got a desk job. I hit 335, I decided I'll never get the chance to sleep with girls I found attractive if I ever hit 350lb, so I turned it around.

Ironically, I get laid less at 240ish than I did at 335. I'm still not sure how the hell that works, but it's pushing me to get down to 200, which is nice.

Yeah, it's a shallow reason compared to a lot of people here, but I look at it like this: I'm 25. I can't help but think that when I'm an old man, I'm going to look back and regret this period of my life if I don't shape up and start getting out there. I do not want to be facing my deathbed with any regrets, knowing I had the power to change my situation.

[Amandarose531]

Those who become out of hand overweight don't always view themselves the way others do, more of a self realization thing. Some i'm sure wake up everyday and say to themselves, I'm enormous and I hate myself lets change, but not everyone wakes up with that attitude and on average can wake up and say okay, today is another day, live likes it's normal.

At my largest I still held a girlish frame and didn't become morbidly out of "shape" I still had hips, thighs, etc. just a biggest version of what i'm sure you have and I didn't wake up everyday and remind myself just because I had thin friends I needed to be thin because overall my life was happy and things were going fine (relatively healthy) but I did decide to change for the better for a number of reasons, my bf likes to bodybuild and it's a healthy activity for us, and I do want to be a healthy mother in the next couple of years.

Don't think anyone who is obese thinks any differently than you do just because of their size, there are always exceptions to the rule (depression, boredom etc.) but usually it's a combination of things.

[CorruptSilence]

Those who become out of hand overweight don't always view themselves the way others do, more of a self realization thing.

Precisely:-)

[Right0]

Im not fat. And im usually in really good shape. But this year im having such a hard time loosing the fat. If i dont eat nearly perfect and get some workout in i get fat extremely easy. In summer i was 180 and figured ill eat maitnance and have some tasty stuff every once in a while (only live once motto) Well all it took was a few months and i gained 20 lbs of mostly fat. So in my case if i didnt pay attention for like a year or 2 id gain 100 lbs easy. So id say lack of paying attention, Age, steady Girlfriend, easy weight gain genes. Are the main reasons.

[Lpenny]

Precisely:-)

You can take that two different ways. Many fat people view themselves in a more positive light than others do, but for me I view myself, being a chubby guy that can hide his fat decently, in a more negative light than others might. I lack confidence in my body and my looks, which causes me to lack confidence in life. This is another reason I want to lose my weight....to gain confidence.

[RachelBringIt]

I was a kid brought up on chips and cokes. It was a learned behavior from my parents and I didn't know any better until I started learning about health and nutrition. Since then I taught my parents and we are a much healthier family. I was chubby since birth pretty much lol.

I remember I went to a store when I was 12 and i couldn't fit into their biggest size...the lady told me I needed to shop at "Layne Bryant" and that I couldn't shop at any of the normal stores anymore. I went home that night bawling and not understanding why I was the way I was....I was 5'3 and 175 lbs. Two years later I was 5'5 and 130 doing it the wrong way (running a lot and not eating enough) then I burnt out and went up to 140 (no muscle). Now Im hovering around 145 and I feel great Put on lots of muscle and lost fat.


Soooo to answer your question....people get overweight for a lot of reasons. I was just born into a family with bad habits.

[barook]

What made you decide to change:
I'm very picky when it comes women, won't help if it doesn't look like I at least put some effort into my body.

[CorruptSilence]

You can take that two different ways. Many fat people view themselves in a more positive light than others do, but for me I view myself, being a chubby guy that can hide his fat decently, in a more negative light than others might. I lack confidence in my body and my looks, which causes me to lack confidence in life. This is another reason I want to lose my weight....to gain confidence.

I agree, and that was my point. It usually has to do with a self-visualization issue. You don't see yourself growing, just as it's hard to see yourself losing. Someone that see's you on a less frequent basis is going to see changes you don't notice. Most overweight people don't realize the extent of the damage. Others over inflate the issue and get depressed or slip further because of it. Everyone views it differently. Few are able to accept, adapt and conquer though. It takes more then realizing how big you are to fix the problem.

[corzzx]

I appreciate the replies, I was hasty to post this thread, thinking that people would criticise me or something. But it provides a valuable insight, as I think that many of us take for granted the minor issues we may consider as 'problems' with our bodies, when so many people truly do have problems that are clearly more difficult to overcome.

It's not so much the getting overweight that I am curious about, as I can see how easily it could happen with poor diet/lack of exercise, or just not being too bothered by it which is fair enough. It's the thing of people getting a lot more than just overweight, and I just find it very....interesting (for lack of a better word), the stage where it becomes more than just overweight, where you see health problems, social problems etc..

I just think that people need to stop simply criticising people who are obese. There seems to be deeper problems than being simply 'lazy' or whatever else people say.. Anyway, congrats to those of you who are making progress, or are trying to. Also, especially to those of you who have never truly been happy with your body, I really do hope that one day you are, it's an amazing feeling when you finally get there.

[corzzx]

I agree, and that was my point. It usually has to do with a self-visualization issue. You don't see yourself growing, just as it's hard to see yourself losing. Someone that see's you on a less frequent basis is going to see changes you don't notice. Most overweight people don't realize the extent of the damage. Others over inflate the issue and get depressed or slip further because of it. Everyone views it differently. Few are able to accept, adapt and conquer though. It takes more then realizing how big you are to fix the problem.

Was part of your problem that you would try to eat less etc but get demotivated and give up? My boyfriend is struggling with his weight and is trying hard to stop gaining weight. He goes weeks feeling really motivated and determined and then one day he will feel in a strange mood and just think 'what the heck' and give up, eating whatever and not workout for a while.

[DinoT1985]

I got fat as I eat alot for comfort due to extreme bullying in school and depression over being in a wheelchair. I decided to lose weight because I could walk a bit and figured if I lost more I'd be able to walk further and longer.

[calislug]

My dad has been overweight ever since he graduated from college. His family had no money so he lived his life up to 18 in poverty with very little food. Once he got money, he just ate whatever he wanted, and brought that into the house. My mom does not cook meals because she is too disorganized and we will go out for dinner and get a 1500cal meal.

I was brought up in a very poor lifestyle and eventually got to 220 pounds. Since coming to college, I am now at 170 and am keep pushing myself.

In my situation I had no real way for a healthy lifestyle. Some parents just do not give their kids a healthy diet and you cannot blame the kids for that. If the kid learns, like I did, he can change his body once he is living on his own, but to be honest, most people do not want to give up the lifestyle their parents gave them.

[fatinNYC]

gorging on food just feels so good and makes me feel good inside. that will never change. Also, eating food relieves stress and is a great way of procrastination for me. This also will never change. (also the same reason drug abusers do their thing).

I decided to try to get in shape because I realized that the physical side-effects were so detrimental and also because I want to be taken seriously by others.

[CorruptSilence]

Was part of your problem that you would try to eat less etc but get demotivated and give up? My boyfriend is struggling with his weight and is trying hard to stop gaining weight. He goes weeks feeling really motivated and determined and then one day he will feel in a strange mood and just think 'what the heck' and give up, eating whatever and not workout for a while.

Lol, it's funny you mention that. I still have a hard time with that here and there. I think the thing that really clicked for me when it all started coming together, was that I didn't need to eat less. I would try to eat 1800 calories and burn out quickly. When I realized that I could eat 2600+ calories and lose weight it starting falling into place and I had less of an issue with burnout. It took me a while to realize that output is the key for me. As long as the calorie intake was "clean", I really didn't have an issue with eating 2600-2800 calories a day. I just had to make sure I didn't sit on the couch. I really have turned it into a competition with myself and others close to me. I am always trying to prove things to myself and others. It's a good way to keep the ball rolling.

[gixxer0.6g]

I was pretty young when I was fat so I didn't really know until kids started teasing. Parents always told me I was just husky. But I made the choice to lose the weight because it's actually a pretty easy thing to change when it comes to your appearance.

I've thought a lot about what makes people fat and I've come to a few conclusions. Fat people are generally very emotional, and very attached to food. Their day really revolves around it. So getting people to lose the weight requires a lot more than just telling them to eat right and exercise. They need to change their mentality too.

[herecumthachamp]

haha i decided to lose weight after i could not tie my shoes b/c i would get out of breath and have to take a break and for the ladys. i got so big by eating crap and drinking 24/7 and not going to the gym. but those days are over.

[Lpenny]

I've thought a lot about what makes people fat and I've come to a few conclusions. Fat people are generally very emotional, and very attached to food. Their day really revolves around it. So getting people to lose the weight requires a lot more than just telling them to eat right and exercise. They need to change their mentality too.

I agree that my day would revolve around food. I would live meal by meal not day by day if that makes any sense. When I was alone I'd get bored and eat out of boredom and when I was with friends we'd eat fast food and snack all the time. Where some people ride bikes, swim, play sports, etc, for leisure, I would eat.

[Danzig747]

I was very overweight all my life...even at birth I was 10.9lbs

I had asthma really bad as a child and was put on predinsone...which causes you to gain weight. I don't put all my excuse to that...it just has always kept weight on me...and over the years I just got lazier and lazier. At age 12 I remember getting a physical and I weighed in at 205lbs. I was actually very active as a kid...played baseball, soccer, and other sports. High school came and started drinking, smoking weed...etc...so I got real bad.

Eating was my happiness and it really made me feel good eating, but when I went to bed I always wished I was that good looking guy the girls always had eyes for ya know? So I knew I had to make a lifestyle change and never looked back. I lost more than I weigh now and I fight even harder now than I did. I want to reach my goals, look good, and have a healthy life. I can do anything I want now and enjoy life so much more.

[adwilk]

I think its a slippery slope getting bigger. For most, they just wake up one day and they can no longer stand to look at themselves. Self pity leads to further weight gain and the motivation to change is hard to come by. It normally leads to "I'll do it tomorrow" or "I'll get started next week". Next week turns into years and before long its out of control. I used to be in great shape and got married and divorced and fell off the wagon and made so many excuses.

I remember meeting a couple of buddies to go play basketball and I used to be able to dunk pretty easily but that night I couldnt get half way up the net and just felt useless... A hard examination in the mirror later that night and I knew i had to change. Another week went by and I did nothing. I ran into my ex wife and she mentioned how "huge" I was. That was it. I wasnt even that big but it was enough.

Its not easy, it really can be so so tough. I used to question everybody that was "fat" and wonder why the hell they didnt do something about it. Believe me, I get it now.

We are creatures of immediate gratification and true weight loss and body change really are the greatest tests of patience concerning personal improvement. Its HARD.

Thats why we are here, thats why its so important for those that choose to make positive changes to really be compassionate towards those that need/want to make a change and just cant.

[Vigilante_Inc]

Goodness being fat is one of the worst and most drawn out experiences of my life. I blame the weight on a lack of understanding and a lack of options. when you're a kid... you eat what you're given or you go hungry. I ate what I was given and my sister became anorexic lol (Were both all better now hahaha) By the end of High school I was 304 pounds (I remember the day I saw this on a scale, I was ****ing terrified. Also the day I picked up a book and decided to fix this ****) My nickname in school was c-cup because I had man boobs. In high school I never dated, I was terrified of girls all together, and was teased relentlessly. I remeber sitting at a school convocation in the gym while some of the popular girls sat behind me and poked my fat! Yeah so high school was not a fun time for me. The worst part is that it wasnt because I was lazy either. I played baseball and was an extrmely active kid, I just didn't know anything about nutrition and my metabolism is genteically bad to begin with. So I started studying. I read book after book after book and I could honestly probably test out of most sports nutrition courses in college now haha.

I made the change and I fell in love with lifting weights. I'm no down about 110 pounds (that's not even including the muscle mass that replaced some of the fat) and I feel great. I love to lift and tennis has become a passion of mine too.

It's one of those things... ask anyone who has ever lost all the weight... ask them if they would do it over again and most would love to have a crack at it. Experience life from the eyes of a thin person.

This **** is depressing I need to go to the gym haha

[FunkDaddy]

I come from a family of big guys (Scottish genes FTW)

For a long time I just didn't care, ate whatever I wanted and let myself go. Through high school I was disgustingly overweight. Fairly depressed for most of that time. I can't even put my finger on when I wanted to change, just decided to start eating better. Lost a bit of weight but it wasn't until I got into weightlifting that I really started getting it together and found a lot of pleasure in educating myself on nutrition and fitness. Then I started really focusing on it and it was a snowball effect from there...the more I worked at it, the more people noticed, the more people noticed, the more I worked at it.

I think my biggest breakthrough was when I realized that fat or not, I am always going to be a big dude. It's just my body type so I might as well own it! I'd look fukking weird if I was skinny. Once I got that through my head, it was smooth sailing.

[Kiumarz]

Goodness being fat is one of the worst and most drawn out experiences of my life. I blame the weight on a lack of understanding and a lack of options. when you're a kid... you eat what you're given or you go hungry. I ate what I was given and my sister became anorexic lol (Were both all better now hahaha) By the end of High school I was 304 pounds (I remember the day I saw this on a scale, I was ****ing terrified. Also the day I picked up a book and decided to fix this ****) My nickname in school was c-cup because I had man boobs. In high school I never dated, I was terrified of girls all together, and was teased relentlessly. I remeber sitting at a school convocation in the gym while some of the popular girls sat behind me and poked my fat! Yeah so high school was not a fun time for me. The worst part is that it wasnt because I was lazy either. I played baseball and was an extrmely active kid, I just didn't know anything about nutrition and my metabolism is genteically bad to begin with. So I started studying. I read book after book after book and I could honestly probably test out of most sports nutrition courses in college now haha.

I made the change and I fell in love with lifting weights. I'm no down about 110 pounds (that's not even including the muscle mass that replaced some of the fat) and I feel great. I love to lift and tennis has become a passion of mine too.

It's one of those things... ask anyone who has ever lost all the weight... ask them if they would do it over again and most would love to have a crack at it. Experience life from the eyes of a thin person.

This **** is depressing I need to go to the gym haha

Damn those horrible kids who made fun of you, you should go show them yourself now, and spit in their faces. You have no clue how angered I became when I read that those girls poked your fat, a girl once did that to me, ****ing whores.

[CorruptSilence]

Damn those horrible kids who made fun of you, you should go show them yourself now, and spit in their faces. You have no clue how angered I became when I read that those girls poked your fat, a girl once did that to me, ****ing whores.

One of the joys of being fat. There is always someone that has to put you down. There is a never ending supply of criticism. I've been on both sides, and when I get back to the more desirable side, things will be MUCH different for me. I hope to one day be able to look back on being fat and realize all of the strength that I learned along the way. Being fit after being fat is something VERY, VERY few people can ever comprehend... It's my light at the end of the tunnel, and I want to help others when I get there:-)

[JoshSpyn]

Food was a drug for me. It was very easy for me to eat an entire box of mac 'n cheese and two hot dogs a couple times a day (among many other things). Most of the time I wouldn't even feel bad about it, food made me feel good. Sometimes I would say oh well, I'll start eating better tomorrow, then the next day and so on.

I was at my heaviest when I was 17 at about 375 lbs. I started getting chest pains and suffering from depression. Being addicted to online games at the time certainly didn't help either. The reason I decided to lose weight was for a girl (don't laugh) I met at work. She was beautiful and nicer to me than anyone I had ever met even at the peak of my obesity and we became really good friends. She was probably my first REAL friend. I started by reading Tom Venuto's book Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle and then finding this site and learning everything I could.

I never thought one of the toughest fights of my life would be with food but It's been almost two years now and I've lost 170 lbs. as well as adding a great deal of strength and muscle. Since then life has been better than I ever imagined it could be .

[scpatterson]

I got up 386 pounds last year. I got really sick and spent a week in ICU over my weight. My 10 year old son was up 175 pounds.

I think food is an addiction just like a drug or smoking. I smoked for 10 years and quit 7 years ago and the feelings while I was quiting smoking and the feeling I would get when I first starting eating healthy were the same. I was so disappointed when i realized I was going through the whole smoking thing again basically. Its hard to explain I guess but I do believe its just the way some people are wired as well. i can go in a Casino and loose 100 dollars a feel like I do when I eat a small amount of Ice Cream, I feel like just a little bit more will not hurt but before I know it Ive lost 1000 and ate a gallon of Blue Bells finest. I know for me addiction is something I have to deal with so I stay out of the Casino and I stay out of Burger King and there is no Blue Bell in the house. I dont think that you can convince someone that they need to stop gambling or to stop smoking or to loose weight because if you have a problem with any of these you know it. Do you honestly believe that a Crackhead does not know he/she is a crackhead. Someone who is obese knows they are obese but they have to decide that its time to change. I know a bunch of people who are obese and happy, Gamblers that are happy and broke, people who smoke who are happy, but at some point that will change or it will kill them, or they will loose everything, but at some point they will not be happy anymore and then they will change. My two cents....

[fatinNYC]

I got up 386 pounds last year. I got really sick and spent a week in ICU over my weight. My 10 year old son was up 175 pounds.

I think food is an addiction just like a drug or smoking. I smoked for 10 years and quit 7 years ago and the feelings while I was quiting smoking and the feeling I would get when I first starting eating healthy were the same. I was so disappointed when i realized I was going through the whole smoking thing again basically. Its hard to explain I guess but I do believe its just the way some people are wired as well. i can go in a Casino and loose 100 dollars a feel like I do when I eat a small amount of Ice Cream, I feel like just a little bit more will not hurt but before I know it Ive lost 1000 and ate a gallon of Blue Bells finest. I know for me addiction is something I have to deal with so I stay out of the Casino and I stay out of Burger King and there is no Blue Bell in the house. I dont think that you can convince someone that they need to stop gambling or to stop smoking or to loose weight because if you have a problem with any of these you know it. Do you honestly believe that a Crackhead does not know he/she is a crackhead. Someone who is obese knows they are obese but they have to decide that its time to change. I know a bunch of people who are obese and happy, Gamblers that are happy and broke, people who smoke who are happy, but at some point that will change or it will kill them, or they will loose everything, but at some point they will not be happy anymore and then they will change. My two cents....

amen