I am gay - problems in college housing?

[N_nam]

Hello everyone,
I will be going to college and am very excited. I will live on residence, and want to get along well with my roommates. Now will this cause problems with my roommates that Im gay, like if I bring a guy over you know? How should I best approach this subject with them? Do I just treat it like straight guys......tell my roommate "okay someones over, we're going in the room to have sex, ill leave a tie on the door handle so dont come in"? The same respect will be given to my roommates and their girlfriends.

Please weigh in thank you.

[skier_]

I'm pretty sure you can say that you are on your housing card that way you can get roomed with someone who is cool with it.

[SezerTheGeezer]

All of your posts revolve around your sexuality. This is why I cant take you seriously.

[N_nam]

Originally Posted by skier_

I'm pretty sure you can say that you are on your housing card that way you can get roomed with someone who is cool with it.

Hmm, I wasnt aware. That would make things easier for sure. Too bad it even has to be said but whatevs.
Would you guys be cool if your roommate brought a guy back for the night?

[TerrorThis]

call no homo

[KennyK]

he's back!

edit: I suggest you ask your roommate.

back at 18, it would have creeped me out

[BreesieBabby]

what you said is a good way to go about things... if the roomie you end up with isn't cool with it then, you can request a transfer!

[Back Double Biceps18]

Originally Posted by N_nam

Hello everyone,
I will be going to college and am very excited. I will live on residence, and want to get along well with my roommates. Now will this cause problems with my roommates that Im gay, like if I bring a guy over you know? How should I best approach this subject with them? Do I just treat it like straight guys......tell my roommate "okay someones over, we're going in the room to have sex, ill leave a tie on the door handle so dont come in"? The same respect will be given to my roommates and their girlfriends.

Please weigh in thank you.

Ah dude, I'm not going to lie, but this probably will not go well. College guys are the biggest homophobes on the planet and will probably not be very open-minded. I doubt you saying you're going to have sex with a dude and leavin a tie on the door will get you very far.

[N_nam]

Thank you serious reply people. I dont fully get why it would bother them. Its not like Im havign sex with the guys in front of them, maybe just knowing thats what Im doing is enough to freak them out? I just dont see how its any different than when a guy brings a girl back for a couple hours...

[happybirthday]

That will definitely bother people, tell people in advance and make sure theyre ok with it.

[ScanDaGod]

If I roomed with you, and you were trying to engage in buttsecks or w/e I'd kill you in your sleep.

After watching, if that makes you feel any better.

[iLiRaM]

[yoj]

Originally Posted by N_nam

Thank you serious reply people. I dont fully get why it would bother them. Its not like Im havign sex with the guys in front of them, maybe just knowing thats what Im doing is enough to freak them out? I just dont see how its any different than when a guy brings a girl back for a couple hours...

It shouldn't be... but it is different. The people who would be perfectly comfortable with that are few and far between. I had a lesbian couple across from my room last year in residence... no one on my floor would talk to them really. Gay guys are going to have it even harder. I mean, they did sort of bring it upon themselves by being antisocial and always letting their alarm go off when they weren't home, but still.

I consider myself pretty accepting of gay people, but even I wouldn't be completely comfortable living with one and seeing him bring dudes over, at least at first. I'm REALLY SORRY because I know that is totally wrong, but I'm just telling you 100% honest how I think people will feel.

On the other hand, if you are a chill guy who loves to be like any other guy and hit the gym/play xbox/watch sports, then you will probably be just fine. Its really what you make of it... be a fun guy and I don't think people will care what gender the people are that you bring home.

Definitely put a note about it in your application. Tell them to room you with girls if they can't find accepting guys, girls love gay dudes :P.

[Revolver45]

Umm I'm homophobic I admit, but I'm not trying to be a dick when I say good luck finding a straight 18 year old guy who's comfortable living with a gay dude.

[Issobolic28]

Originally Posted by N_nam

Hello everyone,
I will be going to college and am very excited. I will live on residence, and want to get along well with my roommates. Now will this cause problems with my roommates that Im gay, like if I bring a guy over you know? How should I best approach this subject with them? Do I just treat it like straight guys......tell my roommate "okay someones over, we're going in the room to have sex, ill leave a tie on the door handle so dont come in"? The same respect will be given to my roommates and their girlfriends.

Please weigh in thank you.

You can't expect ones-size-fits all answer. Since this is college, you can expect people from all over; from big cities like NYC and LA as well as small towns.

That being said, people who come from bigger cities maybe more tolerant of your homosexuality than, lets say, someone who comes from a small farming town.

If you are gonna bring a guy home, do it when your roomate has gone to class. Him not knowing is probably the best.

[killermike]

why would you tell them you are bringing someone in your room for sex....?

[GoutDeMiel]

Originally Posted by N_nam

Thank you serious reply people. I dont fully get why it would bother them. Its not like Im havign sex with the guys in front of them, maybe just knowing thats what Im doing is enough to freak them out? I just dont see how its any different than when a guy brings a girl back for a couple hours...

it might not make sense to you WHY it would/wouldn't bother them, but that's besides the point. why doesn't make a difference when your roommate is creeped out/ mad/ threatening you because you just brought a guy back to the room.

Make sure that housing knows you're gay and they might be able to pair you up with someone else who's gay.

i really don't see things going well if you aren't paired up with someone who isnt understanding or gay themselves.

waiting until after your paired to tell them you're gay is potentially a major problem

[N_nam]

Most of you have been helpful. I have been thinking about what I can do to make it easy on straight roommates, and this is what I ahve so far, please add more:

-dont ever make passes on roommates or their friends
-dont bring guys over for sex for the first month of school
-encourage roommate to put up posters of female hotties
-admit to them "breasts arent so bad"
-dont act girly around them (I dont really do this anyways)
-go over to sex partner's place at least half of the time
-make roommate fell comfortable about telling me about ANY problems he has with me
-and basically make a buddy with these guys so we dont feel this huge gap between us but instead feel comfortable with each other

[ZammerZee]

Simple, tell them you're Bi, and before you came to college you got hurt badly by a girl, that gives you an excuse to have lost interest in women for the present time AND gives you +rep for scoring a chick, +rep for being bi not gay (No offense but a lot of people rather Bi guys to Gay guys)

I would love a gay room mate aslong as they aren't the annoying queer ***gots. You get +women, +Style advice (As if i need it) +Colognes

Only thing that would suck is if i heard the chuffing of dicks and *******s through the paper thin walls, but i guess i could just put some headphones on/music or go out, they have to live with me making women scream which i guess they dont like either/

[strong_penor]

Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable in having a gay roommate, let alone having this roommate bring his boyfriend over. That ****'s disgusting to me.

If I were to find out that my roommate is gay, I'd ask him to transfer (and if not, would transfer myself). I'd also be pretty ticked off that this happened to me in the first place. If I were you, I'd ask the department that handles housing how you can be sure that you find a roommate who is comfortable with your sexual preference.

[nunzie16]

Originally Posted by N_nam

Hello everyone,
I will be going to college and am very excited. I will live on residence, and want to get along well with my roommates. Now will this cause problems with my roommates that Im gay, like if I bring a guy over you know? How should I best approach this subject with them? Do I just treat it like straight guys......tell my roommate "okay someones over, we're going in the room to have sex, ill leave a tie on the door handle so dont come in"? The same respect will be given to my roommates and their girlfriends.

Please weigh in thank you.

Let me be the first to say

You are teh F@got.

If you were my roommate, I'd tie you up, gag you (no homo/not with my cock), then throw you in a dumpster.

Have fun.

[CEO Josh]

Originally Posted by N_nam

Hello everyone,
I will be going to college and am very excited. I will live on residence, and want to get along well with my roommates. Now will this cause problems with my roommates that Im gay, like if I bring a guy over you know? How should I best approach this subject with them? Do I just treat it like straight guys......tell my roommate "okay someones over, we're going in the room to have sex, ill leave a tie on the door handle so dont come in"? The same respect will be given to my roommates and their girlfriends.

Please weigh in thank you.

Its gonna be a prob, as much as i've learned not to care about what guys do behind closed doors, if I can hear them actually doing it I would have a problem.

I know a lot of dudes are still like this.

Originally Posted by N_nam

Hmm, I wasnt aware. That would make things easier for sure. Too bad it even has to be said but whatevs.
Would you guys be cool if your roommate brought a guy back for the night?

Nope, im not even cool if my roommate brings back a obese chick

[MiscLyfe]

If your a cool gay guy that hooks him up with a lot of chicks then he will probably be cool with it.

If your a weird gay guy who leaves cum stains on the sheets and grunts loudly while making love.. he will hate you.

[Mista_mischif]

Originally Posted by N_nam

Hmm, I wasnt aware. That would make things easier for sure. Too bad it even has to be said but whatevs.
Would you guys be cool if your roommate brought a guy back for the night?

It shouldnt have to be said :P I dont have to warn people about liking girls, so i dont see why you should have to 'warn' people. I take it as a compliment when a gay guy hits on me. If i were in your situation, i would just let them know and tell them your not interested in them and they arent going to get involved or see anything. I also wouldnt let them give me any **** about it because if you establish yourself as a pushover early on then you will have problems with them for a long time.

[bradzilla]

Originally Posted by N_nam

Most of you have been helpful. I have been thinking about what I can do to make it easy on straight roommates, and this is what I ahve so far, please add more:

-dont ever make passes on roommates or their friends
-dont bring guys over for sex for the first month of school
-encourage roommate to put up posters of female hotties
-admit to them "breasts arent so bad"
-dont act girly around them (I dont really do this anyways)
-go over to sex partner's place at least half of the time
-make roommate fell comfortable about telling me about ANY problems he has with me
-and basically make a buddy with these guys so we dont feel this huge gap between us but instead feel comfortable with each other

Thats pretty much it. If i was still in undergrad and had a roomate i wouldnt mind as long as he did what you outlined. But i think the things you outlined are just showing that you are a good roomate (regardless of which sex you prefer to sleep with)

[onebigc]

You will be able to email your roommates before school starts. You can email/call to them before you move in and if things are bad then allow some time for housing to make arrangements/tranfers. You should have a backup plan to get a 1 person apartment.

Be prepared to move out of your current place because you might be subject to pranks, people doing things to your food etc etc. Hell college straight guys do these things to each other just to be funny or *******s so it REALLY depends on who your roommates are as PEOPLE.

Your roommates might even be scared that you will accuse them of gay discrimination and hate crimes. They might just leave you alone and not talk to you except out of necessity. Who knows...

You should be up front about it to them right away and have an agenda and important points you want them to know as you have described here. Don't move in, show up with your FWB and not expect a chance of an awkward situation.

[Back Double Biceps18]

N_nam

You need to become friends with this guy or group of guys before even thinking about bringing this up or having another guy stay over with you. Sort of similar to any hetero relationship. Do exactly what you said, form a relationship with them, become their friend, don't EVER hit on them (not saying you would or will), hang out with them like any straight guy would, and let them know you're just "one of the guys" so-to-speak so that they feel comfortable with the situation. Once they have accepted you and you are all comfortable together, than perhaps they will be more comfortable with other parts of the lifestyle (ie, bringing over other dudes).

Don't rush it, form a friendship with them first.

[theyouthahead]

your gonna have a hard time either way you look at it, and im not sure how you are but if your the type of dude thats really feminent its going to be 10x harder too because people do care what people think about them and ur roommate will be known as "that guy with a gay roommate" and it will cause problems either way you look at it so i would either get paired up with another gay guy or a girl

[Back Double Biceps18]

Oh and make sure you tell them you're gay right away, don't beat around it. Just get it out there as soon as possible, definitly more respectful.