Confessions of a restaurant worker

[theACEofSPADES]

Been working at my parents restaurant pretty much since I was born...

1.) We want your money, nothing else
2.) When you come in 30 minutes to closing and we say its alright, it's not.
3.) If you dont tip at least 15%, we remember you, and vise versa
4.) When you complain it's cold, we put it in the microwave
5.) Everytime you complain, we want to bitch back, but we dont
6.) Your 10+ dollar meal takes 60 seconds to make
7.) If you want us to remake your food, we toss it back in the pan, stir for 10 seconds and wait a little bit before we bring it back
8.) Girls flirt to get better tips (do not be fooled)
9.) If you leave your phone number for her, she most likely wont call back
10.) Closing time is the best part of the day
11.) We give cops discounts so they let us off when we get pulled over (I've never gotten a ticket)
12.) We don't like people who are picky

All I can think of off the top of my head...

[BlazerXX]

orly
at least your honest tho

[invection]

so your parents are down for child labour?

[Hardnutcheck]

Did you ever get lonely and rape **** the food?

[ElBonemeister]

Been working at my parents restaurant pretty much since I was born...

1.) We want your money, nothing else
2.) When you come in 30 minutes to closing and we say its alright, it's not.
3.) If you dont tip at least 15%, we remember you, and vise versa
4.) When you complain it's cold, we put it in the microwave
5.) Everytime you complain, we want to bitch back, but we dont
6.) Your 10+ dollar meal takes 60 seconds to make
7.) If you want us to remake your food, we toss it back in the pan, stir for 10 seconds and wait a little bit before we bring it back
8.) Girls flirt to get better tips (do not be fooled)
9.) If you leave your phone number for her, she most likely wont call back
10.) Closing time is the best part of the day
11.) We give cops discounts so they let us off when we get pulled over (I've never gotten a ticket)
12.) We don't like people who are picky

All I can think of off the top of my head...

x2 on all of those!

I'm in the same business and I can't disagree with any of them, even the cop one!

[Ravish]

I don't eat out and thats added justification to my choice. Also watching Kitchen nightmares on TV.. some of this **** is disgusting.

[BO$$]

why dont you say all the **** that happens in the kitchen?

spitting in food, dropping **** on the floor, using expired food,etc...

[myste]

enjoy you're non-existent customers you twit.

[PumpAndGrow]

what kinda food brah

[theACEofSPADES]

I don't eat out and thats added justification to my choice. Also watching Kitchen nightmares on TV.. some of this **** is disgusting.

Yep, I never eat out either.

why dont you say all the **** that happens in the kitchen?

spitting in food, dropping **** on the floor, using expired food,etc...

No spitting in food, thats too far but I cant disagree on the other two...

[...Kennedy]

Thanks for the tips, OP.

[de_barathrum]

Been working at my parents restaurant pretty much since I was born...

1.) We want your money, nothing else
2.) When you come in 30 minutes to closing and we say its alright, it's not.
3.) If you dont tip at least 15%, we remember you, and vise versa
4.) When you complain it's cold, we put it in the microwave
5.) Everytime you complain, we want to bitch back, but we dont
6.) Your 10+ dollar meal takes 60 seconds to make
7.) If you want us to remake your food, we toss it back in the pan, stir for 10 seconds and wait a little bit before we bring it back
8.) Girls flirt to get better tips (do not be fooled)
9.) If you leave your phone number for her, she most likely wont call back
10.) Closing time is the best part of the day
11.) We give cops discounts so they let us off when we get pulled over (I've never gotten a ticket)
12.) We don't like people who are picky

All I can think of off the top of my head...

i waited tables for 2 years and this is pretty much 100% spot on.

[spartan77dm]

Confessions of a grocery store employee.

1. When you ask if we have something in stock and we don't, but you still insist that we go check we have a drink of water and a nice sit down and come out a few minuets later to say we don't have it.

2. After that we say there's a truck comming with it tomorrow even if there isn't.

3. If your a douche to us and then ask where an item is, we point you toward the complete opposite end of the store.

4. Don't pay with hundred dollar bills for a five dollar purchase and take all our change. We remember you.

5. Don't pick up and item, decide you don't want it, and put it back in the wrong spot right in front of us. We remember you.

6. Don't ask me if I'm one of the jewish kids who goes to your jew church and then ask for my number. You will get banned.

(^ yes that actually happened, we called the guy creepy lee and he would ask some of the female employees about their period too)

[steeperdolphin]

Been working in the car business 15yrs...

1.) We want your money, nothing else
2.) When you come in 30 minutes to closing and we say its alright, it's not.
3.) If you are a cheap ass we remember you, and vise versa
4.) When you complain it doesn't do ****
5.) Everytime you complain, we want to bitch back, but we dont
6.)
7.)
8.) Girls flirt to get better profit (do not be fooled)
9.) If you leave your phone number for her, she most likely wont call back
10.) Closing time is the best part of the day
11.) We give cops discounts so they let us off when we get pulled over (I've never gotten a ticket)
12.) We don't like people who are picky

All I can think of off the top of my head...

universal

[spartan77dm]

One time i caught one of the asians from the chinese restaurant next door stealing spoiled chicken out of our dumpster. I've never eaten Asian food since.

[StealGuy]

Been working at my parents restaurant pretty much since I was born...

1.) We want your money, nothing else
2.) When you come in 30 minutes to closing and we say its alright, it's not.
3.) If you dont tip at least 15%, we remember you, and vise versa
4.) When you complain it's cold, we put it in the microwave
5.) Everytime you complain, we want to bitch back, but we dont
6.) Your 10+ dollar meal takes 60 seconds to make
7.) If you want us to remake your food, we toss it back in the pan, stir for 10 seconds and wait a little bit before we bring it back
8.) Girls flirt to get better tips (do not be fooled)
9.) If you leave your phone number for her, she most likely wont call back
10.) Closing time is the best part of the day
11.) We give cops discounts so they let us off when we get pulled over (I've never gotten a ticket)
12.) We don't like people who are picky

All I can think of off the top of my head...

You are implying that cops are so cheap and so without moral value - that they will violate the law just to save a few bucks at some restaurant!

You sir, must be lying. I believe that cops are of the highest caliber. There is no way they'd sell out for ANY price, much less the price of anything on your menu!

[...Kennedy]

Confessions of a grocery store employee.

1. When you ask if we have something in stock and we don't, but you still insist that we go check we have a drink of water and a nice sit down and come out a few minuets later to say we don't have it.

2. After that we say there's a truck comming with it tomorrow even if there isn't.

3. If your a douche to us and then ask where an item is, we point you toward the complete opposite end of the store.

4. Don't pay with hundred dollar bills for a five dollar purchase and take all our change. We remember you.

5. Don't pick up and item, decide you don't want it, and put it back in the wrong spot right in front of us. We remember you.

6. Don't ask me if I'm one of the jewish kids who goes to your jew church and then ask for my number. You will get banned.

(^ yes that actually happened, we called the guy creepy lee and he would ask some of the female employees about their period too)

That's a good list, except for that last one which is indeed quite disturbing...

[Ricky112]

enjoy you're non-existent customers you twit.

QFT.

[theACEofSPADES]

5. Don't pick up and item, decide you don't want it, and put it back in the wrong spot right in front of us. We remember you.

lawls, I do this all the time but not when employees are around.

One time I left toothbrushes in the banana stand

[anthrofighter]

this is why i only goto restaurants with chefs. not cooks.

[musD]

Confessions of a grocery store employee.

1. When you ask if we have something in stock and we don't, but you still insist that we go check we have a drink of water and a nice sit down and come out a few minuets later to say we don't have it.

2. After that we say there's a truck comming with it tomorrow even if there isn't.

3. If your a douche to us and then ask where an item is, we point you toward the complete opposite end of the store.

4. Don't pay with hundred dollar bills for a five dollar purchase and take all our change. We remember you.

5. Don't pick up and item, decide you don't want it, and put it back in the wrong spot right in front of us. We remember you.

6. Don't ask me if I'm one of the jewish kids who goes to your jew church and then ask for my number. You will get banned.

(^ yes that actually happened, we called the guy creepy lee and he would ask some of the female employees about their period too)

a customer tried to convert my brother at work, he tried at least 6 times. now my bro goes to the back whenever he comes.he never tried me though which I'm thankful for.

[spartan77dm]

That's a good list, except for that last one which is indeed quite disturbing...

You a grocery worker too? I work at a Save a Lot. We get come characters in there. Best was when we were just about to close and a nondescript white van pulls up. I thought **** was about to get real, but 10 little mexican guys jumped out and each bought 2 6-packs. I never lol'd so hard in my life.

[theACEofSPADES]

You are implying that cops are so cheap and so without moral value - that they will violate the law just to save a few bucks at some restaurant!

You sir, must be lying. I believe that cops are of the highest caliber. There is no way they'd sell out for ANY price, much less the price of anything on your menu!

I guess our cops are different. We charge them only 5 bucks for our lunch meals (which isnt that much of a discount) but since we're in a small town and our restaurant is RIGHT next to the station they all come over and order.

Plus, my parents are really nice to them

One time I got pulled over for doing 20 over and the guy was like, "where do I know you from?", I said the restaurant and then he was like, "so how is it picking those pea pods (jokingly)", I tell him it releases stress.

He comes back and gives me a warning

[r0bo]

so you want at least 15% when the meal takes 60 seconds to make and your ass doesn't do much work to begin with...

[...Kennedy]

You a grocery worker too? I work at a Save a Lot. We get come characters in there. Best was when we were just about to close and a nondescript white van pulls up. I thought **** was about to get real, but 10 little mexican guys jumped out and each bought 2 6-packs. I never lol'd so hard in my life.

I've never worked at one, but I thought it's the type of job I'd like to have to keep busy when I'm a little older. I bet a lot of interesting stuff happens during a shift.

There are a lot of strange people in this world, and every one of them need to eat.

[spartan77dm]

lawls, I do this all the time but not when employees are around.

One time I left toothbrushes in the banana stand

That's not too bad, I'd let that slide cause the bananas and toothbrushes are far apart. As long as you don't leave stuff that needs to be kept cooled out. We find the occasional melted pool of ice cream and spoiled meat behind various boxes. Every time it happens im like FUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

[theACEofSPADES]

so you want at least 15% when the meal takes 60 seconds to make and your ass doesn't do much work to begin with...

I dont wait on tables, but the people who do always come to me and bitch

I work the front

[jack90]

Confessions of a person that often eats in restuarents.

1. I go out to eat, not to hear you ramble and interrupt my dinner on trying to build up your tip. I normally tip poorly when you do this.

2. If i tip poorly, i normally dont go back there for months at the very least. So you remembering me is null and void.

3. if the service is poor, i will not tip. you get what you earned. See you again in 6 months but you probably wont be working there LOL. so you are just SOL

[SicWithIt]

Confessions of a person that often eats in restuarents.

1. I go out to eat, not to hear you ramble and interrupt my dinner on trying to build up your tip. I normally tip poorly when you do this.

2. If i tip poorly, i normally dont go back there for months at the very least. So you remembering me is null and void.

3. if the service is poor, i will not tip. you get what you warned. See you again in 6 months but you probably wont be working there LOL. so you are just SOL

you = big time douchebag. if i was your waiter i'd not only spit in your food, but probably ignore you too.

[3lftbig3]

as a waiter can you answer me this....why the fuk do you guys EXPECT a 18%+ tip every time even when you give **** service?