expectations vs reality

[kimsquit]

over the years we see a lot of threads from people expressing frustration or disappointment in their lack of progress.

Many of these folks simply needed to get one of the fundamentals 'tuned up' (usually nutrition) but there's also a population out there who expected to look like an IFBB pro or figure model after a few short weeks in the gym.

So I'm curious to hear your stories about the level of progress you expected when you originally started this 'hobby' and how that expectation changed over time.

Did it take you a long time to reconcile yourself to not seeing your dream body in the mirror "overnight"? Did you find it difficult to revise your expectations to more realistic ones? How tempted were you to just quit? where do you think those unrealistic expectations came from?

[Fifty+]

I didn't have aspirations of becoming a bodybuilder when I decided to change my lifestyle. I simply wanted my change my bad habits, drop weigh and feel good about myself. I had no knowledge of what healthy eating was or what a routine consisted of. I did have the desire to make something happen. Started to educate myself on both fronts and progress came a day at a time. Wound up dropping toooo much weight and started learning how to adjust my diet and lifting habits to add muscle. One day at a time. I've never had big dreams of becoming Shawn Ray. Just a better Phil. And so onward we march.

[Old-Time-Lifter]

I expect to look like Frank Zane within the next two weeks.






























j/k I'd be happy to look body wise like I did in 1988 (which was 2 years after I quite lifting).

[WCC-rider]

I think either their expectations are unrealistic or they don't understand that the equation that effort in is equal to results out. I've just picked up after a layoff of a few years, but I never really totally let myself go either.

In the past 2 months, I've drastically changed my diet and am following a 3 month training plan that I started almost a month ago. The first month prior was just to ease into it. I've seen pretty decent results, but they are modest overall and I expect to see more in the coming months.

[kimsquit]

Originally Posted by Fifty+

I didn't have aspirations of becoming a bodybuilder when I decided to change my lifestyle. I simply wanted my change my bad habits, drop weigh and feel good about myself. I had no knowledge of what healthy eating was or what a routine consisted of. I did have the desire to make something happen. Started to educate myself on both fronts and progress came a day at a time. Wound up dropping toooo much weight and started learning how to adjust my diet and lifting habits to add muscle. One day at a time. I've never had big dreams of becoming Shawn Ray. Just a better Phil. And so onward we march.

my expectations were pretty similar in being low-key: I didn't want to look like one more middle-aged man in the third trimester of pregnancy.

I remember finally hitting 10% bodyfat and thinking "okay - now I'm ultra-lean!" funny how the goalpost keeps moving

[namtrag]

I am getting there slowly this time after repeated yo-yoing.

My biggest expectation was that I would be able to eat like the hard gainers and still lose fat, as long as I was lifting hard. Not gonna happen in my case.

You get out of it what you put in, and I just wasn't working hard enough. It's not as easy as it looks.

I am trying to focus on the journey this time and not so much on the end result, because I know it's going to work this time!

[Be_Blunt]

Posted 30 seconds ago in a different thread....

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpo...1&postcount=34

[Fifty+]

Originally Posted by kimsquit

my expectations were pretty similar in being low-key: I didn't want to look like one more middle-aged man in the third trimester of pregnancy.

I remember finally hitting 10% bodyfat and thinking "okay - now I'm ultra-lean!" funny how the goalpost keeps moving

The exciting part is, "we" are the ones moving that goal post. Tomorrow's goals are built on today's success.

[LyingSac]

Originally Posted by kimsquit

over the years we see a lot of threads from people expressing frustration or disappointment in their lack of progress.

Many of these folks simply needed to get one of the fundamentals 'tuned up' (usually nutrition) but there's also a population out there who expected to look like an IFBB pro or figure model after a few short weeks in the gym.

So I'm curious to hear your stories about the level of progress you expected when you originally started this 'hobby' and how that expectation changed over time.

Did it take you a long time to reconcile yourself to not seeing your dream body in the mirror "overnight"? Did you find it difficult to revise your expectations to more realistic ones? How tempted were you to just quit? where do you think those unrealistic expectations came from?

i'm frustrated its take a lot longer to progress at this age,but i understand that.I never thought i could be an IFBB pro in weeks.I've been around it and seen what it takes.I started at 15 in my friends back yard.We were competitive which worked out well.I still remember that crappy Weider protein and that orange tasting collagen protein.In high school back in the 70's i played football.We had a 200lb and a 250lb bench press club,so that was the next goal.made both senior year.it's amazing i played high school,and college football how weak i really was.especially compared to todays animals.So 1980 rolls around and i hit the gym.It actually took me a year to catch up with the big boys.Seeing all the exercises and different angles they were hitting was an education.I learned to love squats and leg day.Then I decide to crosstrain to get my speed up.I'd run 40 windsprints every other day up Lake ponchatrains levee.the sprint training actually accelerated my gains in the gym.I used a pack a day multi-vitamin and ate like an animal.It wasn't a forced diet I was just alway hungry.Late 1981 i'm running 4.5's(whiteboy)squat 405@20 reps,benched 405@1,weighed 212 I've never felt better...then a tore an ACL...recovered but not to previous levels.....then got married....hot sex and personal demands cut my gym time wayyy down.
Basically i've been off and on since 1983 mostly off.They say a taste of honey is worse then no taste at all....(that's true)...of course now when i work out i always remember when...it's a bitter pill,but i am a realist,but every now and then especially when i'm feeling good,I think i can make it back to the "gypsy that i was" so that's where my unrealistic expectation comes from.lol Now progress is measured one rep and 5lbs at a time.To be honest i think about quitting all the time,but now at my age and in my condition it just wouldn't be the smart thing to do.It's a necessary "thing" now.Two spinal fusions,two knee surgerys,arthritis,gout,and onset metabolic syndrome make it a do or die propisition for me anyway....enjoy...lol...you asked

[kimsquit]

Originally Posted by namtrag

I am trying to focus on the journey this time and not so much on the end result

I think that this is the epiphany that anyone who's been successful at this has come to

From what I've seen on bb.com, changing your expectations to more realistic ones tends to follow pretty standard phases:

1. setting unrealistic goals
2. frustration
3. convincing yourself that more = better
4. frustration
5. looking for a short cut
6. frustration
7. asking for help
8. doubting the advice you're given
9. trying it tentatively
10. finally seeing results
11. becoming a convert

But what I'm really curious about is where those unrealistic goals come from in the first place.

[namtrag]

Partially from the advertisements for the Muscletech and other products, 30 lbs of fat off in 30 days, and replaced by 30lbs of muscle.

Also there are plenty of articles in fitness magazines about transforming in 30-45 days. Plus we have the biggest loser show where people lose in 1 week what it takes many of us a whole year to lose.

[Rochq]

I just try and find satisfaction that I am better today than I was yesterday. As far as being "healthy" for my age, I think I am there. I have other hobbies that enrich my life, so I am happy and forgiving of myself for endulging in them. To me, it is just another activity that I like to partake in, and I try to balance them all.

So, with that in mind, I just stick to a schedule, and I don't have high expectations. This way I won't be dissapointed.

[wave_length]

I always wanted to look like a schoolgirl with abs.

[kimsquit]

Originally Posted by namtrag

Partially from the advertisements for the Muscletech and other products, 30 lbs of fat off in 30 days, and replaced by 30lbs of muscle.

Also there are plenty of articles in fitness magazines about transforming in 30-45 days. Plus we have the biggest loser show where people lose in 1 week what it takes many of us a whole year to lose.

yes, but aren't they simply telling people what they want to hear? How did NamTrag (for example) get to the point where that's what he wanted to hear?

I'm mean you're highly educated and know full well that you've had to work hard for what you wanted in life - when you started this, what led you to think that bodybuilding would be different?

Not picking on you, you're just a handy example

Does it come down to the unconscious stereotype that "muscleheads" are dumb and therefore anything they do must be easy?

Or is it more that we're still clinging to the remembered easy-breezy fitness level we had as teens and yound adults?

[namtrag]

I seriously thought it would be pretty easy, I was told I had a great body by my chiro who is a champion natural bber. He used the term "symmetry", as in "mike, you have great symmetry. Just peel the fat off and you will look great." Silly me, I thought 6-12 months of work, and I would be able to compete.

I was in worse shape as a teen than I am now, so that was not a factor in my mind.

PS, I still haven't figured out exactly what "symmetry" means! lol

[Rhinoclan]

I wish I knew where it came from. I think part of it is the belief that getting fat was easy, heck, you really don't have to do anything to get fat, so if I just exercise a little bit, that's more than what I was doing, so I will lose weight and look like "that"...whatever that is.

I also believe that people see pro-bodybuilders, know they are on steroids, so think gaining muscle/losing fat/staying lean isn't that hard, and that those guys don't actually work that hard...you just need drugs...ergo, so if I don't take drugs, and don't work all that hard, while I won't look like them, I'll still get in good shape.

I've had people here at work start with a trainer, but quit after 2 weeks because "it's hard". Our vice president was actually bragging about telling her trainer that she wasn't going to do any lunges, because they made her too sore the next day.

Also, a lack of knowledge on most people's part, even with the world wide interweb available to browse and learn.

[Minotaur]

Originally Posted by kimsquit

So I'm curious to hear your stories about the level of progress you expected when you originally started this 'hobby' and how that expectation changed over time.

I think naivete' on my part comes into play. I remember walking into my first "health & fitness club" and showing the owner a magazine page of what I thought of as a goal. He said "... well... we can help you get as far as your genetics will take you..."

I took that as a diplomatic "ahahahahahahahaha".

Did it take you a long time to reconcile yourself to not seeing your dream body in the mirror "overnight"?

No, actually I was having fun and I was seeing progress. I just didn't know where it would take me. There's that naivete' again!

Did you find it difficult to revise your expectations to more realistic ones? How tempted were you to just quit? where do you think those unrealistic expectations came from?

Find it difficult? I agonized.

Tempted to quit? Even as we speak. Why? Been an uphill battle with the health issues. I envy(ied) those who've done keto diets and lost 8-10 lbs/month, when I lost 10 lbs in a year.

Having resigned myself to the idea that I will never have the physique of a bodybuilder, I'll concentrate on strength and size. As much as I can get, any way I can get it, excluding the "you know". With my frequency of blood work, my doc would kick my ass from here to Hoboken.

[BuckSpin]

My initial expectation: to eventually look like "one of the Greg(g)s" - either Avedon or Plitt. Thought it would take a few years.

My current reality: I'm willing to trade 3.5 years of my life for 120 seconds on a stage in late 2011. Eat, Lift, Sleep, Repeat.

[kimsquit]

Originally Posted by BuckSpin

My initial expectation: to eventually look like "one of the Greg(g)s" - either Avedon or Plitt. Thought it would take a few years.

you mean you didn't aspire to look like Gregg Valentino:

[BuckSpin]

Originally Posted by kimsquit

you mean you didn't aspire to look like Gregg Valentino:

LOL.....um, no. *BOOM!*

Now I just want to be "that guy" in the Novice Masters who has all the Open guys saying "WHO the $#@! is THAT?????"

[SteveM70]

It's not easy! That's one thing I like about it.

Being over 35 and in shape. That alone puts you in an elite class IMO.

Not many willing to put forth the effort.

[Minotaur]

Originally Posted by BuckSpin

My initial expectation: to eventually look like "one of the Greg(g)s" - either Avedon or Plitt.

I can't believe anyone else knows who Greg Avedon is.

[ironwill2008]

I found bodybuilding while searching for an answer to the arthritis that was killing my shoulders. The meds I was prescribed stopped the pain in my shoulders, but replaced it with pain in my stomach. I bought a cheap vinyl-covered weight set a K-Mart, and started a journey that's lasted 16 years steady.

I really didn't have any expectations, at all; I was too inexperienced to know what to expect! That changed, as I read and studied, and later found a mentor who took the time to help me figure out what's what. I built strength and mass steadily until I was about 56, where it leveled-off a bit. I'm still able to progress; it's just slower these days, and in smaller ways than earlier.

The challenge to improve, and beat last week's numbers, is still there; when I step in the gym, I get the very same excited feeling that I did 16 years ago.

Quit? When I'm dead.

[Nikonguy]

I'm one of those people who registered here long before I ever started to ask questions. When I decided to start putting some effort into working out I set some lofty goals and got about the business of reaching them.

My stated goals as of 03/07 were: Go from 265 lbs. @ over 40% body fat to 200 lbs. @ 10% body fat in 12 months.......ROFLMAO!

Ok, those goals are not unachievable but I was in no way prepared for what had to be done to get there and so at the end of 12 months I was at 215 and around 25%. having built very little muscle. Fortunatly I took progress pics every month so I was able to see a difference freqently enough to stay motivated.

This is why I tell people just starting to take before pics. You will never...let me repeat that... NEVER be able to compare what you see in the mirror today with what was in the mirror several weeks or months ago, thus there is no basis for judging your progress.

My method for reaching my goals (still 200 @ 10% ) had to change after what turned out to be a 12 month cut so I began to train for basic strenght and expaned my home gym to suite that type of training.

I've found that your goals are your goals but timelines, methods and expectations have to adapt in order to get there.

[StressMonkey]

Originally Posted by Fifty+

I didn't have aspirations of becoming a bodybuilder when I decided to change my lifestyle. I simply wanted my change my bad habits, drop weigh and feel good about myself. I had no knowledge of what healthy eating was or what a routine consisted of. I did have the desire to make something happen.

That's exactly how I was too (except the dropping weight part). I'll admit that I wondered if I was too old too make significant progress, but I was still going to try to anyway. That's one thing I never understand about the "Am I too old?" posts. Are you really not going to try if someone answers 'yes'?

I'm really glad that I never had any unrealistic expectations. I think that that really inadvertently helped me. Sure there were people I had in mind that in a perfect world I want to end up looking like, but I never had any expectation that i would as a newbie just starting out.

[gbg]

When I first started it was simply to loose some weight, but the more I learned and the results I saw fueled me to always take it further even when my original goal was reached.
I was literally stunned at what you could do with your body and loved to be able to mold it. I instantly loved lifting weights from day one.

[HughDp]

I started because I was quite skinny. I don't remember thinking it would be easy to pile on muscle though. In the end it took me 7 years to put on 45lbs, most of which was 'good' weight I think.

Being totally honest, when I first started out I did think that training was 'it' and for a while I thought that the more I trained and the longer I spent in the gym, the bigger I'd get.

That expectation wasn't entirely well-founded of course because in reality eating and sleeping play just as big a part.

That was in the 80's though when I was in my late teens. For my 'comeback', now in my 40's, I have no unrealistic expectations: I've given myself a whole 6 months to look like Arnold did in his prime.

[chodan9]

Well
I felt like I could makes some changes when I started out,
but I felt like I was doomed by genetics to having a spare tire, everyone in my family has one, its where our weight goes.
So I was hoping to slim up, maybe stop jiggling so much when I walked heh heh.
but as I progressed then so did my expectations and goals. I found I was selling myself way short of what is possisible.
I'm glad I didn't think about being like a pro in 6 months, I would have gotten very discouraged.
I tend to underestimate my abilities as opposed to overshooting.

[IR45N]

Refusing to look like the all too common middle age/old guy in the grocery store or anywhere; met and sustaining that goal. Able to go in and train intently, intensely as I did in the late 70s through early 90s; not necessarily the same poundages, but I can hold my own, and with luck and perseverence, want to be in the best ever shape by the time I hit sixty.

Toughest thing is knowing I'll never be big & the effort only shows w/o a shirt on. But, on the other hand, ran into one of the biggest, strongest guys not long ago and he had a winter coat on. Looked like your average big fat guy, so it goes both ways.

[Tyrbolift]

It took me 25 years to get to where I had hoped to be in 2. Part of that was due to ignorance and learning everything I know bit by bit through experimentation/trial and error.

But I never gave up. It's kind of funny though because now I look better than 99% of any 50 year olds I ever see.