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  1. #1
    keep going kitebean's Avatar
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    Kissing Male Friends on the Lips

    Just need to get some perspective here. I have 4 x really close male friends who I see at least once every couple of weeks for coffee or lunch or whatever. They are all either in relationships or married, as am I - we just like each others company, have great chats, and it's strictly platonic, not even any history of a drunken grope or anything remotely sexual.

    With 2 of them, we always, very naturally kiss on the lips to say goodbye. Hug sometimes, but not always. As for the other 2, one always makes sure to aim just to the side of my mouth, and the other one won't kiss me at all, only hugs.

    What's up with that? Am I the wierdly inappropriate one for liking to kiss? It's no biggie really just curious to know what everyone thinks. Even the guys!

    I am a GIRL
    Last edited by kitebean; 02-12-2009 at 07:28 PM.
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  2. #2
    Squats and Milk Bando's Avatar
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    yes it's weird for a guy to want to kiss his friends.
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  3. #3
    sudo apt-get beer SP1966's Avatar
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    If ever a post could have truly benefited from the old "No Homo" tag I think this just may be it!
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  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by kitebean View Post
    Just need to get some perspective here. I have 4 x really close male friends who I see at least once every couple of weeks for coffee or lunch or whatever. They are all either in relationships or married, as am I - we just like each others company, have great chats, and it's strictly platonic, not even any history of a drunken grope or anything remotely sexual.

    With 2 of them, we always, very naturally kiss on the lips to say goodbye. Hug sometimes, but not always. As for the other 2, one always makes sure to aim just to the side of my mouth, and the other one won't kiss me at all, only hugs.

    What's up with that? Am I the wierdly inappropriate one for liking to kiss? It's no biggie really just curious to know what everyone thinks. Even the guys!
    Yup your a weirdo some of my friends are the same way some like to some don't no biggie
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  5. #5
    The show goes on chodan9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kitebean View Post


    What's up with that? Am I the wierdly inappropriate one for liking to kiss? It's no biggie really just curious to know what everyone thinks. Even the guys!
    I don't know about new zealand, but in monticello kentucky you would be the talk of topix.com in less than a half hour LOL
    I have never kissed another male person on the lips in my life for any reason, not even relatives, including my brother and my father.
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  6. #6
    Banned dbx's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kitebean View Post
    Am I the wierdly inappropriate one for liking to kiss? It's no biggie really just curious to know what everyone thinks. Even the guys!
    I would say yes, you are crossing the line of a platonic relationship by kissing on the lips. If it were a one time kinda deal...no problem, But the way you describe frequent meetings...no.

    Not being a prude here, just telling you like I see it. 2 of the four obviously see it a similar way, or for whatever reason don't think it's appropriate. The fact that you came here to ask would substantiate (in my mind) that you also think it may be inappropriate, but would like to be told otherwise.

    But hell, what do I know you live in New Zealand .
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  7. #7
    Banned dbx's Avatar
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    WTF? You're a guy at 5'1" and 112lbs?
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  8. #8
    sudo apt-get beer SP1966's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dbx View Post
    WTF? You're a guy at 5'1" and 112lbs?
    No, LOL, she is female! I feel so much better now! LOL
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  9. #9
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    Originally Posted by SP1966 View Post
    No, LOL, she is female! I feel so much better now! LOL
    Phew! I know the screen name, but not the person so to speak. I made damn sure to look at stats before responding
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  10. #10
    Squats and Milk Bando's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by chodan9 View Post
    I have never kissed another male person on the lips in my life for any reason, not even relatives, including my brother and my father.
    I've kissed my son on the lips, but that ended at about 4 years old, he's 8 now and I'll take a goodbye kiss on the cheek when I can get it, knowing each may be my last.
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  11. #11
    Squat hater Guff's Avatar
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  12. #12
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    Damn and I was gonna kiss her/him
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  13. #13
    keep going kitebean's Avatar
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    LMAO!

    but it would be kinda funny if I was a guy! Thank goodness I'm not in Kentucky!! hehe.
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  14. #14
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    Originally Posted by kitebean View Post
    LMAO!

    but it would be kinda funny if I was a guy! Thank goodness I'm not in Kentucky!! hehe.
    We can all be glad we're not in Kentucky


    Oh wait....
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  15. #15
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    Originally Posted by kitebean View Post
    I am a GIRL
    OK starting to make a bit more sense now.
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    Originally Posted by dbx View Post
    We can all be glad we're not in Kentucky


    Oh wait....
    Your sister is your cousin isn't she?


    Do you guys wear shoes?
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  17. #17
    keep going kitebean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dbx View Post
    I would say yes, you are crossing the line of a platonic relationship by kissing on the lips. If it were a one time kinda deal...no problem, But the way you describe frequent meetings...no.

    Not being a prude here, just telling you like I see it. 2 of the four obviously see it a similar way, or for whatever reason don't think it's appropriate. The fact that you came here to ask would substantiate (in my mind) that you also think it may be inappropriate, but would like to be told otherwise.

    But hell, what do I know you live in New Zealand .
    but it doesn't FEEL inappropriate, it just feels affectionate..... but thank you for your input - but I am curious as to why you see it as 'crossing the line of a platonic relationship'

    In your mind should all affection be reserved for non-platonic relationships????
    Last edited by kitebean; 02-12-2009 at 07:52 PM.
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  18. #18
    sudo apt-get beer SP1966's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kitebean View Post
    but it doesn't [i]FEEL[i] inappropriate, it just feels affectionate..... but thank you for your input - but I am curious as to why you see it as 'crossing the line of a platonic relationship'

    In your mind should all affection be reserved for non-platonic relationships????
    My wife wanted to know why I was laughing so hard after realizing you are female. I read your post and she said that she feels it is inappropriate. Me, meh, wouldn't concern me unless there is tongue involved!
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    All I'm going to say...if a girl (friend) kissed me on the lips, I'm thinking...it's on!
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  20. #20
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    Originally Posted by Guff View Post
    Your sister is your cousin isn't she?


    Do you guys wear shoes?
    You'll have to ask Chodan

    Originally Posted by kitebean View Post
    but it doesn't [i]FEEL[i] inappropriate, it just feels affectionate..... but thank you for your input - but I am curious as to why you see it as 'crossing the line of a platonic relationship'
    But in the question that you pose, it doesn't matter how it feels to you, As that's obvious. You asked for our view of how we perceived it. As far as crossing the line; that would really depend on social mores and culture I suppose, and I cannot confidently speak on the subject not knowing if things are perhaps different there. After all, the U.S. is widely seen in Europe as being very prudish. See what I mean?

    Originally Posted by kitebean View Post
    In your mind should all affection be reserved for non-platonic relationships????
    The obvious answer is no, but that's not really the point here either. Affection is fine, but kissing on the lips is considered (in the U.S.) largely left to two persons with a romantic involvement. Again, 2 of the four in your opening post kind of prove my point for me.
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  21. #21
    Registered User maryinmesquite's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SP1966 View Post
    My wife wanted to know why I was laughing so hard after realizing you are female. I read your post and she said that she feels it is inappropriate. Me, meh, wouldn't concern me unless there is tongue involved!
    i dont think it is right ,, i dated a guy and two of his female friends always mouth kissed him , and i always wanted to bitch slap them , because i think it leaves the wrong impression , i will hug a male friend but the lip kissing is for someone special
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    Originally Posted by maryinmesquite View Post
    i always wanted to bitch slap them ,
    Originally Posted by maryinmesquite View Post
    because i think it leaves the wrong impression ,

    Well, I guess it does, indeed!
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  23. #23
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    Originally Posted by dbx View Post
    We can all be glad we're not in Kentucky


    Oh wait....
    I sea what you did there..............

    Where the mind goes the body follows.
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  24. #24
    aneas
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    I would not kiss another woman on the lips. My wife would not appreciate it.
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    Originally Posted by baker View Post
    I sea what you did there..............

    hahaha ,, they all like ewe in kentucky ..lol
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    I wouldn't want my wife kissing her male friends on the lips. And she would not want me to do that with my female friends (plus I'd feel weird doing that anyway--it's just too intimate). A hug and a peck on the cheek is different, IMHO.

    But I work with a lot of people internationally, so I know that is treated differently all over. Our team in Brazil is big on the hugs and kisses on both cheeks--and they are all very hot women, so even that makes you feel a little guilty. But when in Rio . . .
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  27. #27
    keep going kitebean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SP1966 View Post
    My wife wanted to know why I was laughing so hard after realizing you are female. I read your post and she said that she feels it is inappropriate. Me, meh, wouldn't concern me unless there is tongue involved!
    no tongue, just a peck! but I can appreciate your wife's point of view... it's kinda funny one of the kissy guys is a REALLY good friend, and we do stuff as couples all of the time, and we are all so comfortable with one another that it would be wierd if we didn't kiss. But I would never kiss my other kissy friend in front of his wife.... hmmmm.


    Originally Posted by dbx View Post
    But in the question that you pose, it doesn't matter how it feels to you, As that's obvious. You asked for our view of how we perceived it. As far as crossing the line; that would really depend on social mores and culture I suppose, and I cannot confidently speak on the subject not knowing if things are perhaps different there. After all, the U.S. is widely seen in Europe as being very prudish. See what I mean?



    The obvious answer is no, but that's not really the point here either. Affection is fine, but kissing on the lips is considered (in the U.S.) largely left to two persons with a romantic involvement. Again, 2 of the four in your opening post kind of prove my point for me.

    hmmm yes, cultural mores and perception. I have lived in the US and in Europe. As I recall in the US you are big 'huggers' no? I for one sometimes feel hugging/holding is more inappropriate than kissing.....more intimate, you know? In Europe, it's just so bloody confusing because there is a different kissing 'ethic' in each country, i.e. Holland is 3, France is 2, etc.

    I do appreciate your view.


    Originally Posted by maryinmesquite View Post
    i dont think it is right ,, i dated a guy and two of his female friends always mouth kissed him , and i always wanted to bitch slap them , because i think it leaves the wrong impression , i will hug a male friend but the lip kissing is for someone special
    so you would feel more comfortable with the guy hugging other girls? or do you feel that any form of affection isn't appropriate when in a relationship?

    Originally Posted by aneas View Post
    I would not kiss another woman on the lips. My wife would not appreciate it.
    I appreciate that you respect and understand that she would not appreciate it. Do you have female friends that you see socially without your wife?
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  28. #28
    The show goes on chodan9's Avatar
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    Its probably still inapropriate here unless your not married or attached.

    Reminds me of when I met my wife

    it was at the family reunion....



    aahh memories


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  29. #29
    Equipment Geek Mod Wildtim's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dbx View Post
    I would say yes, you are crossing the line of a platonic relationship by kissing on the lips. If it were a one time kinda deal...no problem, But the way you describe frequent meetings...no.

    Not being a prude here, just telling you like I see it. 2 of the four obviously see it a similar way, or for whatever reason don't think it's appropriate. The fact that you came here to ask would substantiate (in my mind) that you also think it may be inappropriate, but would like to be told otherwise.

    But hell, what do I know you live in New Zealand .
    This pretty much sums up my feelings as well.

    Originally Posted by Guff View Post
    All I'm going to say...if a girl (friend) kissed me on the lips, I'm thinking...it's on!
    Generally how I would think too.

    Cheek kissing is appropriate, the double cheek Italian/Brazilian thing would be fine as well. Lips only for family and lovers.
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  30. #30
    sudo apt-get beer SP1966's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kitebean View Post
    But I would never kiss my other kissy friend in front of his wife.... hmmmm.
    To me this says all that needs to be said. </thread>
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