Living with SO

[funkosaurus]

Hey guys! I need some advice. How do you guys feel about moving in with your significant other at a fairly young age and way before marriage? Or how old/young were you when you moved in with your SO if you have experience with that?

I am moving off campus next year, and my boyfriend and I want to live together. I am 19 and he is 21, we've been together a little over a year. We are lifting partners, we have the same strict diet plans, we cook together, we understand the commitment. We are very much in love, and I lived with him over the summer, so we have experience with coexisting. And I basically live with him now, I'm over at his place all the time to cook with him and workout and sleep on the weekends.

So yeah, I guess I just wanted some thoughts on this. Thanks!

[SearMeCarefully]

You seem to be in a good spot to move in, I think. I don't think age matters so much as where you are in the relationship and maturity levels.
I was(am) 22 when we moved in together. It was a semi-long distance relationship meaning we mostly just saw each other on weekends and like once during the week but had been dating for a couple years.
I say if you can fart in front of them you're comfortable enough for that one lol

[dunkonu9]

I think that it is ok. You guys seem to think this is a good thing and the situation seems right for both of you. I say go for it.

[sharkpreyzim]

I'm against moving in with your SO, especially when your in school and only 19 yo. Thats just me tho, I feel unless you have marriage in the plans you prob shouldn't be moving in together. But every situation is different

[_Bethany_]

I moved in with my BF at 19, 4 months after dating . We've been together 5 years next month and have an incrediable relationship. We plan on marrying some day, but it's not a huge priority for either of us, we wwill get to that point when the money is saved, we are very happy right now.

[PLANETGETLOW]

My wife started staying with me when she was about 17.

When you're young do it, what's to lose? If things don't work out, then move out.

[nicoledominique]

I don't think there is a a set age - when it's right you will know.

I moved in with my boyfriend after 5 months of dating when I was 24 years old. It was just something that made sense for us. We were both done college, working full time, into bodybuilding and healthy living...Plus why pay for two places when you will more than likely only be spending time at one?

I will say that you are still quite young, but you will never know unless you try. Just make sure you two are on the same page about things. I'm a little hesitant because you're still in college and people change and mature SO much in their early 20's. Keep that in mind.

[paulytosway]

Originally Posted by SearMeCarefully

You seem to be in a good spot to move in, I think. I don't think age matters so much as where you are in the relationship and maturity levels.
I was(am) 22 when we moved in together. It was a semi-long distance relationship meaning we mostly just saw each other on weekends and like once during the week but had been dating for a couple years.
I say if you can fart in front of them you're comfortable enough for that one lol

I must address this. Women fart? Really? I was under the impression that women had no gastrointestinal organs what-so-ever.

[PLANETGETLOW]

Originally Posted by paulytosway

I must address this. Women fart? Really? I was under the impression that women had no gastrointestinal organs what-so-ever.

Mine don't......... at least not in front of me.

[GoutDeMiel]

Originally Posted by paulytosway

I must address this. Women fart? Really? I was under the impression that women had no gastrointestinal organs what-so-ever.

If women fart, they fart rainbows.

[SearMeCarefully]

Originally Posted by GoutDeMiel

If women fart, they fart rainbows.

And sunshine. Ask anyone, except anyone that knows me, that is..

[humblegenius]

Its 12 months away, I wouldnt be stressing yet, a lot can happen in 12 months.

[Gracehbd]

Personally, I think it's way better not to live together before getting married, and makes the relationship much more likely to last, but it's not my decision!
Good luck : )

[humblegenius]

Originally Posted by Gracehbd

Personally, I think it's way better not to live together before getting married, and makes the relationship much more likely to last, but it's not my decision!
Good luck : )

are you serious? How can you really know someone until you've lived with them 24/7.

[CTB]

Originally Posted by humblegenius

are you serious? How can you really know someone until you've lived with them 24/7.

x2 - you really dont know a person till youve lived with them. I have friends who didnt live with their husbands before they got married and they said it was like they turned into completely different people, they didnt realise how dependant their SO was on other people doing things for them at home.

[carbonmade78]

Originally Posted by funkosaurus

Hey guys! I need some advice. How do you guys feel about moving in with your significant other at a fairly young age and way before marriage? Or how old/young were you when you moved in with your SO if you have experience with that?

I am moving off campus next year, and my boyfriend and I want to live together. I am 19 and he is 21, we've been together a little over a year. We are lifting partners, we have the same strict diet plans, we cook together, we understand the commitment. We are very much in love, and I lived with him over the summer, so we have experience with coexisting. And I basically live with him now, I'm over at his place all the time to cook with him and workout and sleep on the weekends.

So yeah, I guess I just wanted some thoughts on this. Thanks!

I think it's a mixed bag. I've lived with boyfriends before (starting from age 18) and it can be pretty challenging. You don't think it's gonna be hard to live together (for all the reasons you just stated) but it's a whole other ball of wax when it comes to paying bills, doing laundry, dishes, etc. Little things that didn't used to bother you start to - which can lead to spats if you're not careful.

Still, I would say go for it. I think it's a great idea for everyone to live alone (completely alone!) for at least a year and live with a boyfriend/girlfriend for at least a year before they get married and settle down with someone.

Just don't expect co-habitating to be all rainbows, puppies, and teddy bear parades - cuz it can take a lot of work!

[paulytosway]

Originally Posted by PLANETGETLOW

Mine don't......... at least not in front of me.

Originally Posted by GoutDeMiel

If women fart, they fart rainbows.

thank you for the explanation. I was slightly worried.

[cawagner01]

Originally Posted by GoutDeMiel

If women fart, they fart rainbows.

If that is the case, my wife must be broken. It definitely isn't rainbows that comes out of her backend.

[paulytosway]

Originally Posted by carbonmade78

I think it's a mixed bag. I've lived with boyfriends before (starting from age 18) and it can be pretty challenging. You don't think it's gonna be hard to live together (for all the reasons you just stated) but it's a whole other ball of wax when it comes to paying bills, doing laundry, dishes, etc. Little things that didn't used to bother you start to - which can lead to spats if you're not careful.

Still, I would say go for it. I think it's a great idea for everyone to live alone (completely alone!) for at least a year and live with a boyfriend/girlfriend for at least a year before they get married and settle down with someone.

Just don't expect co-habitating to be all rainbows, puppies, and teddy bear parades - cuz it can take a lot of work!

Lions and tigers and bears ohh my, lions and tigers and bears ohh my, rainbows, puppies, and teddy bear parades ohh my.

[BreesieBabby]

Things will be MUCH different when you live together. Hopefully better.

[norinicole]

I think it would be a good idea, and like carbonmade mentioned, it's a great idea to lay out what each of you expect from each other.

If you cook, he does dishes; share laundry duties, or one of you does it all; one sweeps/mops/vacuums, the other cleans the bathroom.

It's really good to get these out of the way first thing so that neither of you are left frustrated with the situation.

Good luck!

[paulytosway]

On a serious not, why in a rush to move in with someone? At that age, perhaps immaturity i'll contend, I could not imagine myself sharing my life whether it be sanctioned by the court/church in marrige or by co-habiting with someone.

Why not live by yourself? Why not discard the idea of needing to be with someone? Perhaps I sound like a pessimist with regard to relationships but at that age you should be selfish and do all that is possible to "find yourself"-- however trite that may sound.

I'm not saying don't date--by all means date away but to live with somone and give up your freedom at such a young age? If I sound like a madman simply disregard everything i've said.

[BatsyWatsy]

Originally Posted by norinicole

I think it would be a good idea, and like carbonmade mentioned, it's a great idea to lay out what each of you expect from each other.

If you cook, he does dishes; share laundry duties, or one of you does it all; one sweeps/mops/vacuums, the other cleans the bathroom.

It's really good to get these out of the way first thing so that neither of you are left frustrated with the situation.

Good luck!

This is exactly what my fiance' and I do. We've actually been together for 9 years (I'm 24...). We started living together about 2 1/2 years ago when I was still in college and he had just finished up his time in the Army, and I couldn't imagine living without him anymore. He's been in Morocco for the last 2 weeks and it's killing me! But we definitely share all the chores...I cook...he does dishes...I clean the bathroom...he vacuums, dusts, helps me with laundry. You just have to work together as a team and respect one another. He's very tidy and I'm not QUITE as tidy...but we respect that about each other and try not to nag one another about it. Age has nothing to do with it...you just need to have a mature relationship.

[funkosaurus]

Thank you guys so much for your responses!

I guess I'll try to respond to some of the points made, haha.
We've lived together over the summer, so we already know how living together is in a way, how it changes the relationship (for us, it made things better mostly, haha). Also, I know it seems like it would be a distraction from school, but I think it would make things 100x easier because if we weren't living together, we'd still hang out all the time, but we'd have to figure out where, and when we will meet to eat, workout, etc. We are also convinced that not living together would make us fat, haha. We really motivated each other health wise, and school wise too. We make each other practice (both music majors, haha).

Though, I understand some of the downsides. I realize we are young and in college and nows the time to meet people, but we go to a tiny school and we've already taken a few breaks and realized we are happier together. Also, he's going to grad school after next year and me the year after that, so we'll get other opportunities to meet people.

But yeah, I guess we still have time to figure it out. But thanks so much everyone!!

[SexyChic]

Originally Posted by funkosaurus

Hey guys! I need some advice. How do you guys feel about moving in with your significant other at a fairly young age and way before marriage? Or how old/young were you when you moved in with your SO if you have experience with that?

I am moving off campus next year, and my boyfriend and I want to live together. I am 19 and he is 21, we've been together a little over a year. We are lifting partners, we have the same strict diet plans, we cook together, we understand the commitment. We are very much in love, and I lived with him over the summer, so we have experience with coexisting. And I basically live with him now, I'm over at his place all the time to cook with him and workout and sleep on the weekends.

So yeah, I guess I just wanted some thoughts on this. Thanks!

I've been with my SO since I was 18....we moved in together when I was 19, and we've been together for 6 years total (been married 5 of those 6). The first year takes some adjusting and was rough for us because we had ahole roommates to deal with on top of the "new experience" of living together for the first time.
Some advice...Know when to pick your battles, because everything is not worth fighting/fussing over.

Good luck!

[Verti-gal]

I lived with a boyfriend when I was 19 and in college. Its one thing to be at each others place, its another to have no place of your own to retreat to. It didn't take 6 months to figure out we weren't going to work out. I wanted to go out and spend time with my friends, he wanted to keep me home all to himself. We didn't agree on chores, he was used to having his mom do everything and I wasn't going to & was too busy to pick up that slack. But it was a great lesson learned.

I also spent some time living by myself which I enjoyed. It does help you learn more about yourself.

After dating long distance for a while my (now) husband moved 700 miles to live with me. We spent a year living together before we decided to get married. We've got a great division of household duties and things work well here. I definetly agree with SexyChic on knowing when to pick your battles.

Don't be scared to move in together, and if it doesn't work out don't be scared to move out. Relationships are living breathing things, if it changes for the better stay, if it changes for the worse leave. Life can't be lived without taking risks, but it sucks big time when you don't know how to cut your losses. Don't ever let we're living together be an excuse for staying in a bad relationship.

[funkosaurus]

Originally Posted by SexyChic

I've been with my SO since I was 18....we moved in together when I was 19, and we've been together for 6 years total (been married 5 of those 6). The first year takes some adjusting and was rough for us because we had ahole roommates to deal with on top of the "new experience" of living together for the first time.
Some advice...Know when to pick your battles, because everything is not worth fighting/fussing over.

Good luck!

That's so awesome about things working out! But its funny you mention jerk roommates, because when I lived with my bf over the summer it was him, his roommate and I. And it was his first time living with the guy outside of a dorm situation and we realized what a psycho he is. I cannot stand him. He is so mean to us, it is ridiculous. And you cannot compromise with him because he lives in his own world. Ugh. Basically his diet consists mostly of hot pockets, and every time we make something with vegetables (aka all of the time) he gets pissed at us because he thinks we are disgusting. Hahaha, okay, sorry, just had to rant.

[SexyChic]

Originally Posted by funkosaurus

That's so awesome about things working out! But its funny you mention jerk roommates, because when I lived with my bf over the summer it was him, his roommate and I. And it was his first time living with the guy outside of a dorm situation and we realized what a psycho he is. I cannot stand him. He is so mean to us, it is ridiculous. And you cannot compromise with him because he lives in his own world. Ugh. Basically his diet consists mostly of hot pockets, and every time we make something with vegetables (aka all of the time) he gets pissed at us because he thinks we are disgusting. Hahaha, okay, sorry, just had to rant.

LOL no veggies huh? Wow... Sounds like the roommate we had. He would eat hungryman microwavable dinners almost every night when he wasn't eating out. They (him and his gf) would make a HUGE mess in the kitchen and then go away for the weekend leaving everything in the sink!!!
We had signed a lease for a year with him and he moved out after 6 months because he got mad that I asked him to either help me with cleaning (cuz I'm not going to clean up after him!) or pay half for a maid......To make a long story short, we had to sue him for the rent for the last 6 months and we won lol!

Anyway, Best of luck to you and like I said, it's easier to let things slide than to nitpick the little things. Waking up to the person you love everyday is fun, but keep in mind to always have your own time alone too. It is too easy to base your world around the person you love and lose yourself in the process. Oh and life is full of risks but some are definitely worth taking and moving in together is one of them for sure.

[freshstart217]

I would say go into it with caution. I don't mean to sound pessimistic or jaded, but every relationship starts out all butterflies and rainbows.

Just be sure to have a backup plan in your head (no need to mention this to your SO) in case things go south is all I'm saying. Where would you move? Would you have enough money to pay your bills? Would you be able to feed yourself and stay in school? Things like that.

Trust me when I say there is nothing worse than breaking up with the love of your life and being stuck in the same apartment until the lease ends because you are both too poor to do anything about it.