Attraction and Keeping the Girl Chasing You.

[pondus_levo]

Lately I have been giving a lot of advice though PM and on the forum with similar situations. Mainly young guys have have had the balls to talk to the girl, get her number, and maybe even hang out with her a few times. Things seem to be going perfect, but then, out of the blue, the girls break it off for one reason or another.

I feel, that most of the guys out there actually want a meaningful relationship... up until the point they get burned over and over again, where they become bitter towards the opposite sex. The problem is, it's not the girls fault. It the guys fault for not knowing how to act to keep her interested.

So how does one keep the initial attraction going, keep her wanting more, and chase after you?

Preface: The Big Fish Analogy.

Creating attraction in a woman and keeping her interest is like hooking a big fish. You don't just try and reel it in as fast as you can. The fish is too strong and too powerful. Your line or rod will end up breaking before you even get it half way to the boat. The proper way way to catch the big fish is to wear it down. You reel it in a little, then let it back out, over and over again. Each time, reeling it in a little more than letting it out, until it is flopping around next to you in the boat.

Most guys have the mindset that they have to constantly be in contact with a girl to keep her interested. That is, if she's not talking to you, then she isn't thinking about you and will be swept up by the next guy that hits on her. In reality, this has the exact opposite effect on women. Constant, extended contact will make you look needy/clingy and drive her away. The fishing line will snap.

It seems counter intuitive, unless you understand how attraction really works. Attraction for men is first physical, then emotional. Where as, attraction for women is first emotional, then physical. You must invoke an emotional response and have her associate that emotion with you. ANY emotion, whether it be good or bad. Hopefully the majority will be good emotion, but there is also a place for negative emotion, which I will get to later. If you can invoke emotion, then you will stay on her mind for days or weeks on end w/out even talking to her. She is on the fishing line waiting for you to reel her in more.

When it comes to women. LESS at the right time is MORE.

[pondus_levo]

Lesson 1: The Big Chill.

Now that we know that giving her too much attention is a BAD thing, how do you chill out? Simply put, eliminate your desire. Even in writing, that seems easier said that done, but when you eliminate your desire, you will have complete control over your thoughts and actions.

It's like going grocery shopping. If you are starving, you are going end up buying tons a food you didn't need or want that probably isn't the least bit good for you. Not even your will power could come through for you this time. If you had just eaten before going, you would have easily been able to stick to your shopping list, because you would have had complete control over your desire to eat everything in sight.

Eliminating your desires-
1. Stay busy - School, work, friends, sports, whatever.
2. Continue to talk to other girls.

This girl should not be your number 1 priority. Staying busy and talking to other girls will prevent you from catching one-itis and feeling the need to constantly think about her and talk to her. The less there is of you to go around, the more desirable YOU are.

I'm not saying completely ignore her. You have to find a balance between giving her too much attention and not enough attention. You don't want the hook to fall out just as much as you don't want the fishing line to break.

[pondus_levo]

Sorry, guys I'm out of time. I'm just writing these lessons as I go. Feel free to discuss and ask questions about what I've already written. Or if you have a situation and need some advice, go ahead and post it.

I will try to get the next lesson done tomorrow. It will probably focus more on attraction.

[wimpking]

Good stuff. I do some simple things.

1. Everything I say is positive and fun. She asks "How was your day?", I answer "It was great, blah blah I did this, did that, something funny happened, blah blah." Focus on the positive, even if it was a **** day.

2. I focus on unexpected answers to questions, that makes the girl laugh or think. She says "Hey baby I miss you." I answer "Awww.. Hey did you know that dolphins are the only creatures that enjoy sex?"

3. Do everything to avoid the needy vibe, don't call/text more than once without a response.

4. Ignore social pressure to respond or act, be comfortable with moments of silence, before breaking them. I will show affection in public, smack my girl on the ass, mess with her hair, etc.

5. Don't be too agreeable, call your girl out if she says something stupid or lame. Her: "I had such a terrible day, blah blah blah, boohoo." I answer "You're too negative, tell me three things positive about your day or I'm hanging up."

Just simple things I always keep in mind, I never say anything without considering the effect.

[InfectedWithBB]

Lesson 1: The Big Chill.

Now that we know that giving her too much attention is a BAD thing, how do you chill out? Simply put, eliminate your desire. Even in writing, that seems easier said that done, but when you eliminate your desire, you will have complete control over your thoughts and actions.

It's like going grocery shopping. If you are starving, you are going end up buying tons a food you didn't need or want that probably isn't the least bit good for you. Not even your will power could come through for you this time. If you had just eaten before going, you would have easily been able to stick to your shopping list, because you would have had complete control over your desire to eat everything in sight.

Eliminating your desires-
1. Stay busy - School, work, friends, sports, whatever.
2. Continue to talk to other girls.

This girl should not be your number 1 priority. Staying busy and talking to other girls will prevent you from catching one-itis and feeling the need to constantly think about her and talk to her. The less there is of you to go around, the more desirable YOU are.

I'm not saying completely ignore her. You have to find a balance between giving her too much attention and not enough attention. You don't want the hook to fall out just as much as you don't want the fishing line to break.

Its easier said than done. Its very hard to keep balance and very hard to figure out if you gave her enough attention for her to come back for more.

For example, one girl thought it was very clingy for me to call her 1 time per week. Another girl thought I wasn't really interested (since I was waiting for her to chase me after our 1st date).

I can never get this right. I approach a chick, I get plenty of signs of interest from her, get the number (maybe even kiss), go on a date. The date usually goes well and I keep it light and cocky&funny. Afterward I let her call me but girls often don't and take it as "That guy doesn't like me after all". Sometimes they get all the interesting things out of you on first date and then bail. So...I try to be mysterious and make them work for it by giving them shorter answers, less interest, and letting them guess. Then they just call me an as*hole and flake as well.

So I must have 0 game because I tried and failed with dating maybe 30 different times with 30 girls or so. Night stands and casual random hook ups are a different story. Those are easy.

I have yet to meet ONE chick who doesn't play these games.

[drgnframe24]

you guys have good stuff. and yeah its definitely harder doing then saying. there is a place i go around here and always mess with a girl i thought was hot. well we hung out twice like on my way from one place i would meet her for a bit. well i took her home and we made out. both had some drinks before. saw her out like 2 nights later and were sitting talking and i said something about that night we made out(just making sure she remembered) and she said yeah it was fun especially the goodnight part. well now when i txt her shes always doing something and id like to go out with her but dont txt more than once until she replies. i work and so does she plus her school so its hard to find time to go out. well now that something actually happened shes on my mind a lot. i dont want to ruin anything but as you guys know its hard. so maybe friday since she works and i work and shes got a friends bday shes going to.

[Below 30]

The big fish analogy is very nice.
The real problem with most people in general, is the refusal to admit that this is all a game. The fish analogy proves it: The girl knows within the first few moments of meeting the guy if there is enough physical attraction to maintain interest. Once she knows there is, she starts acting like a big fish. She'll require the guy to reel her in and then release and repeat.

She could make it easy by just acknowledging that she likes him, but doesn't. Therefore the games begin. So once people stop saying stupid lines like: "I hate people who play games, I'm real". They'll be alot more successful in the long run. I know alot of reputable members here even use that line above, but the fact is that this is all one big game and we are all players in it. Wether you acknowledge it or not.
-30-

[giantsfanftw]

What about attracting girls on myspace?

Any advice for that?

[InfectedWithBB]

The big fish analogy is very nice.
The real problem with most people in general, is the refusal to admit that this is all a game. The fish analogy proves it: The girl knows within the first few moments of meeting the guy if there is enough physical attraction to maintain interest. Once she knows there is, she starts acting like a big fish. She'll require the guy to reel her in and then release and repeat.

She could easily make it easy by just acknowledging that she likes him, but doesn't. Therefore the games begin. So once people stop saying stupid lines like: "I hate people who play games, I'm real". They'll be alot more successful in the long run. I know alot of reputable members here even use that line above, but the fact is that this is all one big game and we are all players in it. Wether you acknowledge it or not.
-30-

Pretty much it. But it also allows us to later on f*ck those girls and leave them without a single tingle of guilt (even if the b*tch is crying) since only girls who don't play games deserve relationships.

[wimpking]

What about attracting girls on myspace?

Any advice for that?

This is such easy game it's ridiculous. Unexpected and funny stuff always hooks them. Girls on those services always get guys that are like "You are so gorgeous! blah blah". Check out some of the goofy Myspace threads here, they are actually solid for the "WTF this guy is interesting" type vibe to kick off discourse.

[pondus_levo]

Just simple things I always keep in mind, I never say anything without considering the effect.

Those are good examples. If you are not invoking emotion in her, then anything you say to her should, in effect, increase your value in her eyes.

Its easier said than done. Its very hard to keep balance and very hard to figure out if you gave her enough attention for her to come back for more.

For example, one girl thought it was very clingy for me to call her 1 time per week. Another girl thought I wasn't really interested (since I was waiting for her to chase me after our 1st date).

I can never get this right. I approach a chick, I get plenty of signs of interest from her, get the number (maybe even kiss), go on a date. The date usually goes well and I keep it light and cocky&funny. Afterward I let her call me but girls often don't and take it as "That guy doesn't like me after all". Sometimes they get all the interesting things out of you on first date and then bail. So...I try to be mysterious and make them work for it by giving them shorter answers, less interest, and letting them guess. Then they just call me an as*hole and flake as well.

So I must have 0 game because I tried and failed with dating maybe 30 different times with 30 girls or so. Night stands and casual random hook ups are a different story. Those are easy.

I have yet to meet ONE chick who doesn't play these games.

You are right. Finding the balance is hard because it is different with every girl. BUT, if you are able continue to increased your attraction every time you talk with her, you have MUCH more leniency.

If a girl says that you are clingy when you only call her one time a week, then there is something else going on there. She may have given you indicators of disinterest and you were completely oblivious to them. It's not that you were clingy, she just wasn't interested and that's what she told you.

You can't always leave it up to the girl to call you. It's not really about who calls who first, it about how much attraction you build when given the chance.

It seems like you may be taking everything you try to the extreme. You have to do a little of everything.

the fact is that this is all one big game and we are all players in it. Wether you acknowledge it or not.
-30-

Dating is absolutely a game, but you don't have to PLAY games to stay in the game. It's an intellectual game like chess. It's more about knowing when and where to make which move. Just knowing the rules is not enough.

I equate playing games making your own rules that no one else knows about. In which case, that person is not worth your time.

[Below 30]

Dating is absolutely a game, but you don't have to PLAY games to stay in the game. It's an intellectual game like chess. It's more about knowing when and where to make which move. Just knowing the rules is not enough.

I equate playing games making your own rules that no one else knows about. In which case, that person is not worth your time.

That doesn't compute with me. If you stop playing a game, you won't advance as a player within it. This is why guys can attract girls at first, by being mysterious etc. Then they stop playing the game when the relationship is official and the girl loses interest. This is because the dude stops being mysterious and he stops teasing her and he just lounges around.

As you use the chess analogy, that is still a game being played. You have to play the game correctly to know which moves to make. It may offend alot of people to know that they're participating in a game, but it is what it is.
-30-

[pondus_levo]

That doesn't compute with me. If you stop playing a game, you won't advance as a player within it. This is why guys can attract girls at first, by being mysterious etc. Then they stop playing the game when the relationship is official and the girl loses interest. This is because the dude stops being mysterious and he stops teasing her and he just lounges around.

As you use the chess analogy, that is still a game being played. You have to play the game correctly to know which moves to make. It may offend alot of people to know that they're participating in a game, but it is what it is.
-30-

I think the misunderstanding here is that I consider playing THE game and "playing games" and two separate entities.

THE game of course being dating and relationships. You are a participant and there are universal rules and boundaries. Like, each relationship is not it's own little game, everyone still plays by the same rules.

"Playing games" are games within THE game in which people don't play by the standard set of rules and boundaries or they know how to bend and abuse certain rules and use to their advantage at the expense of others. Fortunately most people are somewhat intuitive and not that naive and put an end to it sooner rather than later.

I think a lot of times though, if a guy says this girl is playing games with him or vice-versa. It's not really that he or she is playing games, it probably has more to do with some kind if misunderstanding or lack off communication between the two.

[strong_penor]

That doesn't compute with me. If you stop playing a game, you won't advance as a player within it. This is why guys can attract girls at first, by being mysterious etc. Then they stop playing the game when the relationship is official and the girl loses interest. This is because the dude stops being mysterious and he stops teasing her and he just lounges around.

As you use the chess analogy, that is still a game being played. You have to play the game correctly to know which moves to make. It may offend alot of people to know that they're participating in a game, but it is what it is.
-30-

Why the fuck would you be in a relationship with someone who wants you to play these games with them, while being in a relationship?

The attraction part I understand. It's common sense really. However, you WILL ultimately feel like **** if you have to do this type of stuff when you are in a serious relationship. There has to be a point where you say (and so does the girl), "okay, I really like this guy. I want to be with him because I enjoy his company. The end." I've never seen a marriage that lasted more than a year where either spouse felt like they had to walk on their toes to keep the other person interested.

[Crusher_]

Im of the mind that all women are moody emotionally unstable unpredictable creatures making it impossible to predict any effect of what ever your comment/actions may be..

I take on board any advice the maturer members give, You guys have a lot of valuable advice from previous experience i assume.
That being said i would not expect any female to conform with anything that is said, they are all wired so completely frigging differently that it blows my mind. Iv fcuked things up with girls every different way you could think of. One girl iv been to attached and over bearing with, the next girl i gave too much space, she thinks im not interested and moves on. You cant win.

Personally iv come to my own conclusion that if its meant to be it will be. Regardless how good your game/ tactics may be.

One point that ive eperinced as being true tho is "There's nothing you want more than something you cant have"
Think about this just in general life. You order a meal at a restaurant and the person your with orders something different, you both get your meal and theirs always looks that little bit better and you think damn i wish i got that now.


Just a question to the maturer guys in the thread, do you have any stories of getting burnt badly and what lessons it taught you?

[pondus_levo]

Why the fuck would you be in a relationship with someone who wants you to play these games with them, while being in a relationship?

The attraction part I understand. It's common sense really. However, you WILL ultimately feel like **** if you have to do this type of stuff when you are in a serious relationship. There has to be a point where you say (and so does the girl), "okay, I really like this guy. I want to be with him because I enjoy his company. The end." I've never seen a marriage that lasted more than a year where either spouse felt like they had to walk on their toes to keep the other person interested.

The point of playing the game is to keep the girl interested long enough to get to know the real you. This could take years. Once you know each other in and out, there is still attraction, and the two just want to be together because you enjoy each others company, then yes, that is the point you trade in the rules of dating and exchange them for the rules of a long term committed relationship.

But like Below 30 said, until that point, you still have to work at increasing and maintaining attraction or else you will lose it.

[strong_penor]

The point of playing the game is to keep the girl interested long enough to get to know the real you. This could take years. Once you know each other in and out, there is still attraction, and the two just want to be together because you enjoy each others company, then yes, that is the point you trade in the rules of dating and exchange them for the rules of a long term committed relationship.

But like Below 30 said, until that point, you still have to work at increasing and maintaining attraction or else you will lose it.

Dude, I respect you, but I honestly think you have it all wrong; probably as a result of society and commonly accepted modern traditions fuking with your head for a long time.

If you want a serious relationship, why not find a girl that understands that "falling in head over heels in love" is a very primitive concept that will not last.

You should not try to find someone you will fall head over heels for. You are setting yourself up for future disappointment if this is the case. I have seen it happen far too many times.

If you really want a serious relationship, you should seek to find a chick who is mature enough and who you can learn to love more and more for being who she is, and who can do the same for you. I am sorry, but I find that the idea that you should walk on your toes and play games with a person you wish to have a long future with is just downright primitive and childish. No wonder there are so many divorces and separations in this country...

[solidsnake88]

Just a question to the maturer guys in the thread, do you have any stories of getting burnt badly and what lessons it taught you?

i may not be mature age wise, but my mentality and experience with girls proves otherwise.

i would say for most ppl, you gotta be confident and know what you want. if you're trying to attract a quality girl, you need to be a quality guy. have ambitions and goals in life. be driven. all the general stuff.

specifically, i can say with most girls you have to bring something new to the table that she hasn't seen before. the same old lines and same old dates will categorize you as the same old guy.

try to get sexual with a girl as soon as possible. once you've established the attraction and it seems she's interested in you, go sexual. do not wait!

[Below 30]

I think the misunderstanding here is that I consider playing THE game and "playing games" and two separate entities.

THE game of course being dating and relationships. You are a participant and there are universal rules and boundaries. Like, each relationship is not it's own little game, everyone still plays by the same rules.

"Playing games" are games within THE game in which people don't play by the standard set of rules and boundaries or they know how to bend and abuse certain rules and use to their advantage at the expense of others. Fortunately most people are somewhat intuitive and not that naive and put an end to it sooner rather than later.

I think a lot of times though, if a guy says this girl is playing games with him or vice-versa. It's not really that he or she is playing games, it probably has more to do with some kind if misunderstanding or lack off communication between the two.

Nice explaination, I get what you're going now.

Why the fuck would you be in a relationship with someone who wants you to play these games with them, while being in a relationship?

The attraction part I understand. It's common sense really. However, you WILL ultimately feel like **** if you have to do this type of stuff when you are in a serious relationship. There has to be a point where you say (and so does the girl), "okay, I really like this guy. I want to be with him because I enjoy his company. The end." I've never seen a marriage that lasted more than a year where either spouse felt like they had to walk on their toes to keep the other person interested.

You statement is like saying that all wars should just end and peace for all. But reality doesn't work that way. If you want girls to be attracted to you for a long time, you gotta play the game mang.
-30-

[shadowsfall19]

Question: So what's YOUR take on the proper way to ask a girl out.

My problem is sometimes, I can't even get a girl to go somewhere with me...when I do, however, it's almost a sure thing that we'll be seeing each other with some sort of regularity later on down the line.

I've learned that the best way to ask a girl out (in the early going) is to make plans on the spot, rather than planning something for later in the week, and running the risk of having her say no or conjuring up any number of false excuses. It's as the old adage goes, "...Don't give her the chance to say no." After you've gotten to know each other and established some level of trust/comfort with her...THEN it's okay to make plans in the immediate future (i.e. the weekend, etc).

I've also learned that it's usually a good idea to say something along the lines of: "listen, I don't have much time, but I'm going to grab a bit to eat. want to come along?"

Any thoughts?

EDIT: By the way, complete agreement with everything you've said thus far. Even in relationships, the game is STILL going. I have to admit though, it can take a toll on you mentally knowing that you're being evaluated on a semi-constant basis, and that one wrong move could mean disaster. =/

[shadowsfall19]

I am sorry, but I find that the idea that you should walk on your toes and play games with a person you wish to have a long future with is just downright primitive and childish. No wonder there are so many divorces and separations in this country...

Total agreeance...after a few months, knowing that this kind of pressure is on you can take a toll.

Now try a few years...think you won't go bat**** insane? =/

As of now, the only sufficient way of dealing with it all is to get yourself conditioned to be used to it. Not an easy feat.

[strong_penor]

Nice explaination, I get what you're going now.




You statement is like saying that all wars should just end and peace for all. But reality doesn't work that way. If you want girls to be attracted to you for a long time, you gotta play the game mang.
-30-

Bull****. Look around. You see a lot of happily married couples here? No you do not. Because of childish bull**** like this that keeps going on.

My parents went out for 6 months before daddy popped the question. Been together for over 20 years. Two of my aunts: same exact ****.

My cousin: went out with his girl for several years. Lived together for almost two years. Did a bunch of romantic **** together, then he finally popped the question. They just divorced less than two years into it. My friend, similar story except he was with his wife for less than a year.

Why the hell do people find it necessary to overcomplicate this ****? Here is how life should work (and it does for many, many people outside of the misc):

-You fukc as many girls as you want when you are young
-You party and have a lot of fun when you are young
-You get a good career and graduate
-You find a girl who is confident in herself, has something going for herself, likes you for you and is compatible with your personality
-You grow up and stop fuking around as it becomes old
-You marry the girl
-The end

Yes, life really CAN be this simple. There is no reason why it shouldn't be. This happens every day. So again I ask, why the hell would you overcomplicate your life by doing what you suggested? Save this **** for the teenagers and the young guys that want to get laid with young girls. This has nothing to do with serious relationships.

[illbleed]

Dude, I respect you, but I honestly think you have it all wrong; probably as a result of society and commonly accepted modern traditions fuking with your head for a long time.

If you want a serious relationship, why not find a girl that understands that "falling in head over heels in love" is a very primitive concept that will not last.

You should not try to find someone you will fall head over heels for. You are setting yourself up for future disappointment if this is the case. I have seen it happen far too many times.

If you really want a serious relationship, you should seek to find a chick who is mature enough and who you can learn to love more and more for being who she is, and who can do the same for you. I am sorry, but I find that the idea that you should walk on your toes and play games with a person you wish to have a long future with is just downright primitive and childish. No wonder there are so many divorces and separations in this country...

I agree with what you said. A serious relationship is called "serious" for a reason. You shouldn't have to play retarded games, instead you should be comfortable with the person. This **** never happens tho, so go figure.

[Crusher_]

Bull****. Look around. You see a lot of happily married couples here? No you do not. Because of childish bull**** like this that keeps going on.

My parents went out for 6 months before daddy popped the question. Been together for over 20 years. Two of my aunts: same exact ****.

My cousin: went out with his girl for several years. Lived together for almost two years. Did a bunch of romantic **** together, then he finally popped the question. They just divorced less than two years into it. My friend, similar story except he was with his wife for less than a year.

Why the hell do people find it necessary to overcomplicate this ****? Here is how life should work (and it does for many, many people outside of the misc):

-You fukc as many girls as you want when you are young
-You party and have a lot of fun when you are young
-You get a good career and graduate
-You find a girl who is confident in herself, has something going for herself, likes you for you and is compatible with your personality
-You grow up and stop fuking around as it becomes old
-You marry the girl
-The end

Yes, life really CAN be this simple. There is no reason why it shouldn't be. This happens every day. So again I ask, why the hell would you overcomplicate your life by doing what you suggested? Save this **** for the teenagers and the young guys that want to get laid with young girls. This has nothing to do with serious relationships.

I agree with this.
There is a point when people over analyze all this relationship stuff.
If two people are attracted to each other, start to care about each other and end up loving each other there should be no need for games.
My ex and i never played any of this bull **** when we got together. I learn't how to go about and handle things a bit better once in the relationship, but i dont think two people liking each other should be that complicated.
There's chemistry or there isn't.

[Below 30]

Bull****. Look around. You see a lot of happily married couples here? No you do not. Because of childish bull**** like this that keeps going on.

My parents went out for 6 months before daddy popped the question. Been together for over 20 years. Two of my aunts: same exact ****.

My cousin: went out with his girl for several years. Lived together for almost two years. Did a bunch of romantic **** together, then he finally popped the question. They just divorced less than two years into it. My friend, similar story except he was with his wife for less than a year.

Why the hell do people find it necessary to overcomplicate this ****? Here is how life should work (and it does for many, many people outside of the misc):

-You fukc as many girls as you want when you are young
-You party and have a lot of fun when you are young
-You get a good career and graduate
-You find a girl who is confident in herself, has something going for herself, likes you for you and is compatible with your personality
-You grow up and stop fuking around as it becomes old
-You marry the girl
-The end

Yes, life really CAN be this simple. There is no reason why it shouldn't be. This happens every day. So again I ask, why the hell would you overcomplicate your life by doing what you suggested? Save this **** for the teenagers and the young guys that want to get laid with young girls. This has nothing to do with serious relationships.

You make it sound like I created this way of life. I don't like that these games are here myself. But there is nothing you can do about it. The only girls that don't play serious head games, are undesireable girls. So if you want girls that are hit on by tons of guys, games must be played. Not my rules, I just follow them -30-

[strong_penor]

You make it sound like I created this way of life. I don't like that these games are here myself. But there is nothing you can do about it. The only girls that don't play serious head games, are undesireable girls. So if you want girls that are hit on by tons of guys, games must be played. Not my rules, I just follow them -30-

Looking in the wrong places I'm afraid brah.

[pondus_levo]

Dude, I respect you, but I honestly think you have it all wrong; probably as a result of society and commonly accepted modern traditions fuking with your head for a long time.

If you want a serious relationship, why not find a girl that understands that "falling in head over heels in love" is a very primitive concept that will not last.

You should not try to find someone you will fall head over heels for. You are setting yourself up for future disappointment if this is the case. I have seen it happen far too many times.

If you really want a serious relationship, you should seek to find a chick who is mature enough and who you can learn to love more and more for being who she is, and who can do the same for you. I am sorry, but I find that the idea that you should walk on your toes and play games with a person you wish to have a long future with is just downright primitive and childish. No wonder there are so many divorces and separations in this country...

I respect your opinion, but I know I have it right. I don't know what you think is "commonly accepted". When I read these boards what I believe is far from common knowledge or acceptance. What I know about dating and relationships was never taught to me growing up. Everything I know, I've figured out through my own research and through personal experiences of trial and error.

Read my explanation on THE game vs "playing games." I am 100% against playing games, just like you, but I am not going to deny that there is a game to be played. There are right and wrong ways to handle most situations when it comes to keeping women interested.

No one should be looking to fall head over heals in love. True love is a natural progression that takes time to accumulate. If one is "falling" head over heals in love, it's not really love. It's lust. But ALL relationships start at that. It is a completely superficial period of time. You can't help but to walk on eggshells because one false move after 6 weeks could be the end of it. As a relationship progresses, the rules of the game evolve with it.

But I don't want to get off base here. My focus with my lessons right now is the early stages of a relationship and how to keep the girl interested.

Edit: strong_penor, you have very strong convictions when it comes to this. Might I ask what personal experience you have to back up your beliefs? Because right now, it appears to me that you are kinda living in a fairy tale world of how you THINK things should be, but it will never be that easy. It seems like the only one's that admit to there being a game, are the ones that have been burned by not knowing how to play it.

[shadowsfall19]

My focus with my lessons right now is the early stages of a relationship and how to keep the girl interested.

I know you're probably in the process of answering, but that right there is EXACTLY what I have trouble with.

I know that once I can get her past her initial bull****, my personality is magnetic enough to keep her wondering about me (if I'm not too far in my own head that is).

[hungerford]

well i have to agree with you about the fish thing,,,,,,

But in my peronal experience he is right about the whle being too clingy thing, that got my screwed over way too much, notice i said being too clingy not sweet, the reason a "*******" of a guy usualy gets the girl over the sweet guy is because ppl who are more assholish are usually more selfcentered and more often then not are not clingy at all,,,,,,,and i never realized all this until a few months after me and the girl im dating now started dating because when we first met she liked me alot and i did too, but alot of stuff happened right after we first met that made it seem like i didnt want her, and to me i thought it was a bad thing, but little did i realize it was actualy keeping her very interested and she asked ME out and kissed me first...... but the funny thing is i didnt realize that i was actually playing this game the whole time.... hahahaha

[Below 30]

I know you're probably in the process of answering, but that right there is EXACTLY what I have trouble with.

I know that once I can get her past her initial bull****, my personality is magnetic enough to keep her wondering about me (if I'm not too far in my own head that is).

Hahahahahahaha! And the Modesty award goes to..................

Edit: strong_penor, you have very strong convictions when it comes to this. Might I ask what personal experience you have to back up your beliefs? Because right now, it appears to me that you are kinda living in a fairy tale world of how you THINK things should be, but it will never be that easy. It seems like the only one's that admit to there being a game, are the ones that have been burned by not knowing how to play it.

I'm agree. A guy with a name like that shouldn't be thinking that way -30-