ALCOHOLICS: RECOVERY & FITNESS (Serious Only Please)

[thepowerwithin]

Havent checked in here in probably 2 months..Took some abuse at a recent meeting for not makin many meetings lately, i knda jumped on the guy explained that since Aug 1 ive been workin six 10 hr days leaving the house at 5:15 am getting off at 4:30 picking up my son and going straight to football pratice so we werent getting home til 7:30 pm/ My wife also works OT at least 2 days a week and has a much longer commute, so like 90% of folke with spouses that work and children theres not enough time in the day..It is what it is..Anyways this guy who ive know for yrs says to me at a meeting is your kids football keeping you sober before i can answer he says i think not....totally caught me off guard and before i could go off on his ass(lol) my sponsor says it most certainly is keeping him ( being me) sober cause if he wasnt sober he most certainly wouldnt be involved with his kids...My sponsor gets on my ass but he knows when im busy with my kids its a big part of my program...
just wanted to share that with yall...My sponsor is rough but saved me from possibly acting like a douche at this meeting...Been back to making our Sat nite speaker meeting( oh yeah my sponsor says open speaker meetings dont count i cant win...lol) Still sober closin in on 50 months..Hope everyone had a good Holiday and as we know Holidays can be the MOST difficult time for ANYONE no matter how many yrs youve got..be careful everyone and stay sober..Im definitely gonna have lots of time for meetings soon , tore my left tricep tendon off at the elbow having surgery Dec 14th. They are sayin minimum 2 months before i can return to heavy construction im here to prove em wrong.It happend 5 weeks ago and they said id be off 2 weeks back then when it initially. I was training in 3 days and back to work on the 4th day. I do understand that t after the surgey ill be hurtin worse than the initial injury.Dr wanted to do surgery 2 weeks ago but explained why i wanted to wait and he said it would be fine worse case scenario would be extra scar tissue hed have to clean up.Reason for waiting 3-4 extra weeks is that im at possibly the largest construction job in the USA now there are 6000 outside tradesman at this job BP refinery in Whiting Indiana and there are so many travelers there that they shut the entre job down for 2 weeks at Christmas, so ill be on medical its nowhere near what i amke with all the OT but its something and ill get a jump on my rehab...Ok holy crap im really rambling on and on and on...Ill be back here a little more often
One day at a time

I can relate! Early on in recovery, it was a juggling act to meet all my responsibilities. I had 3 young kids each with a sport and homework, 1 FT job, 1 PT job, dinners to make, and their father was completely absent. I didn't make as many meetings as the person who had a simpler life. Yes, I caught some flack about it and it angered me, mostly because some of the judgments were coming from women that had zero kids and 1 cushy job and a remarkable husband. Who are they to judge?

There will always be people who are judgmental and maybe don't always express their concerns with tact. I decided that it wasn't worth the energy. I kept my eyes on my own program and answered to my sponsor. I wasn't a daily meeting maker, but I did the best I could under the circumstances and here I stand today.

[JRT6]

What I did yesterday instead of boozing up. ****'s hard right now between my nephew, the way my wife is trying to cope and my dick of a boss who keeps trying to get me fired.

[muttytwist]

What I did yesterday instead of boozing up. ****'s hard right now between my nephew, the way my wife is trying to cope and my dick of a boss who keeps trying to get me fired.

It's awesome that you are supporting your nephew like this. Just take it 1 day at a time and this to shall pass.

[wraith1234]

Well... i knew it i ****ed up last night... got myself a 26onz of rum for the game , starting drinking... felt bad... on my 10th shoot i told myself why the **** im i doing this to myself again? why go through all this **** again and start over... So i grab the bottled went upstairs and emptied it in the sink ! then made a sandwich and went to bed ... i feel bad but then again i feel kinda good, i would of never and i mean NEVER waste 16onz of alcohol before. But still... back to day 1, And since i joined this thread maybe 15 of november or something i have went 2 times to day 5... been a long time since that happened thanks sober crew !

here is what a friend of mine responded to this :

I have done this before (name). It creates mental anguish to give into it. If not during than after. You are fighting it. Fighting the good fight. Keep on fighting and at the same time it is not just about 'fighting'. In all of that there is a point called 'surrender'. When we surrender to the fact that we cannot manage our alcohol and cannot drink. That is a big one. Most if not all of us have been on day one many times. We kept coming back to it not because we are failing, but rather because we were not giving up.

[Big_Sky_Guy]

There do seem to be times in life where nothing we are doing is "right" and the world seems against us. The longer I stay sober, those times have consistently been an opportunity to get closer to a higher power- whether that be through my personal relationship, through a sponsor, other people in meetings, family, friends from different walks of life, a pastor, or even here. Sharing what is going on reduces the burden and the feeling that we are going it alone.

Prayers for full healing of that tendon supy.

And love the haircut JRT!

[JRT6]

Thanks Big.

Wraith, For me shame is a double edged sword. It makes me want to stop drinking so bad I want to drink to push the shame away.

[NoSlak]

I'm not what I'd like to be and I'm not what I could be. But thank God , I'm not what I used to be.

Don't leave before the Miracle happens folks. If you're honest , willing and open it will come.

[righter]

Well... i knew it i ****ed up last night... got myself a 26onz of rum for the game , starting drinking... felt bad... on my 10th shoot i told myself why the **** im i doing this to myself again? why go through all this **** again and start over... So i grab the bottled went upstairs and emptied it in the sink ! then made a sandwich and went to bed ... i feel bad but then again i feel kinda good, i would of never and i mean NEVER waste 16onz of alcohol before. But still... back to day 1, And since i joined this thread maybe 15 of november or something i have went 2 times to day 5... been a long time since that happened thanks sober crew !

here is what a friend of mine responded to this :

I have done this before (name). It creates mental anguish to give into it. If not during than after. You are fighting it. Fighting the good fight. Keep on fighting and at the same time it is not just about 'fighting'. In all of that there is a point called 'surrender'. When we surrender to the fact that we cannot manage our alcohol and cannot drink. That is a big one. Most if not all of us have been on day one many times. We kept coming back to it not because we are failing, but rather because we were not giving up.

Your friend gave you some sound advice.

Welcome back. For me, it took a long time to get and stay sober. I think what finally did it for me was this realization that it wasn't a matter of willpower anymore. At one time, it was, but those days were long gone. I made resolution after resolution, promise after promise, and I would honestly mean them. I really wanted to stop. I just couldn't. It's like my mind would play tricks on me. I'd start thinking, oh it wasn't that bad. Or I would think, maybe if I just drink wine. Or, I'll just drink on holidays. I could make a holiday last for months. I could stretch it out into the next holiday. Addiction is an illness of perception. I think your friend makes that point very clear in the last sentence.

Welcome back!

[cowboybiker]

I'm not what I'd like to be and I'm not what I could be. But thank God , I'm not what I used to be.

Don't leave before the Miracle happens folks. If you're honest , willing and open it will come.

Nice

I've kept that since I've joined down there vvvv

[riveragolden]

I do agree that alcoholism is very powerfull and we can use all the help we can get.They are legally consumed in most countries, and over 100 countries have laws regulating their production, sale, and consumption..Well the process of creating it is when grains, fruits, or vegetables are fermented...

[skarotum]

Keepin sober. Hope all are doing well and finding their peace. Congrats to everyone ITT sober or not. Even the thought of sobriety takes effort.

[pharmamarketer]

What I did yesterday instead of boozing up. ****'s hard right now between my nephew, the way my wife is trying to cope and my dick of a boss who keeps trying to get me fired.

Awesome

[thepowerwithin]

What I did yesterday instead of boozing up. ****'s hard right now between my nephew, the way my wife is trying to cope and my dick of a boss who keeps trying to get me fired.

That is such a cool thing you did. Hang in there.

[skarotum]

Does anyone here 'NOT' work specifically on their sobriety? I was active in the first several months of sobriety on an alcoholics forum but have found that I no longer even post there, or even think of my sobriety much at all. As far as i am concerned I just don't drink now. That's how it is and how it always has to be if I want to be the person I want to be and know I can be. End of story. I'm happy, dropped lots of fat and am well only my way to looking like my former self in my avi before alcohol took me over. But I found constantly feeling like I 'should' be 'working' on my sobriety somehow to be even more depressing and detrimental. That's even why I don't post here often. I just don't often think of my sobriety. I know I can't drink. When I do crave a drink I know I don't want that drink, I want to be drunk, and I know I can't have 1 drink. In my alcoholic mind there has never been a point to one drink. I know I can't control it and will just be passing out every night again if I were to pick up one drink ever again. And I am happy with that. I had accepted that before I even quit. But again, constantly dwelling, or working on my sobriety has never seemed helpful to me. Just existing as I did before drinking and being happy again doing the things I love is great. It kind of seems counter productive in a way to finally be rid of the constant obsession with alcohol but at the same time I am "supposed" to be constantly "working" on sobriety and what it means to not drink.
Thoughts?

[boathead]

just always remember where you came from. if needed, you can always put it back in the frontal lobes.

while drinking, my whole life was drinking. then came the fall, and everything became NOT drinking. either way, alcohol dominated my being. after almost 9 years, i can say i don't dwell on drinking or not drinking very much. that is all good, but i'm always weary of this cursed disease. i know where my medicine is, and i keep it handy.

i go to aa. i enjoy it. but i don't go to 4 meetings a day like i did for 4 full years. 1 or 2 per week, touch base with some friends, and i'm good.

i guess my word of advice is don't get too complacent. as time and life goes by, i think we are apt to forget how miserable things had gotten, you know, time heals all wounds. but that can be quite dangerous as well, so proceed with caution my friend!

[thepowerwithin]

I agree with boathead.

This is just MY experience. I relapsed after 10+ years because I forgot and got complacent. I slowly drifted away from the program and the people and eventually stopped going to meetings. I lasted a few years, but inevitably old behaviors and thinking crept in. I found myself at a wedding with a drink in my hand, saying to myself this time will be different. It was different alright....way worse. My life spiraled out of control once again.

I made meetings regularly for my first year on this second go. In fact, I worked my ass off doing step work and spewing out all that was festering in me. My poor sponsor . My attendance at meetings has tapered off, which is fine, but I still show up and call my sponsor and work on outside issues in counseling 1x/mo.

I truly don't ever want to forget where I came from and what happened to me. I try to recall my bottom almost daily. I don't dwell, but I want it very clear and fresh in my memory.

[skarotum]

Thanks to you both. I am not AA based so i can't really comment on that. But I do know that from the very first drink I ever had at 13, I had to get drunk. Every drink from then on, had it's purpose. And it was never ever to enjoy a drink. I think *knowing* that is what keeps me from wanting to ever drink again. I KNOW I can never drink again without turning back into who I was when I was drinking again. I know I can't control it and never will. It is stronger than me, but only if I take that first one.
I dunno if what I am doing it right. But for me right now it's working. I do worry about a relapse, but I just don't know how that could happen. Easy to say now right. I don't think of it as "just having a drink". It would be throwing away everything I've fought for thus far, the person I am beginning to like again and going back to the person I despised again. How can I conciously do that? lol But I guess I did it the first time.

I do find this thread very AA oriented. The forum I used to frequent is AA based but welcomes everyone of every quit method and for the most part there is no bickering about it. I'd say about 50% of the people there quit with AA the other 50 with any of the other methods. I just hope I don't need a relapse to find my *right* quit method. I sometimes feel made to feel like it's *wrong* that I quit without the use of AA or a defined method. All I know is I'm healthier and happier than I've been in years because of it and it's working for me for now. But yeah, sometimes I worry about WHY I haven't seemed to need that thus far.

Anyway, mostly just rambling now I guess. Thanks for your input and support. It does mean a lot to me.

[thepowerwithin]

Thanks to you both. I am not AA based so i can't really comment on that. But I do know that from the very first drink I ever had at 13, I had to get drunk. Every drink from then on, had it's purpose. And it was never ever to enjoy a drink. I think *knowing* that is what keeps me from wanting to ever drink again. I KNOW I can never drink again without turning back into who I was when I was drinking again. I know I can't control it and never will. It is stronger than me, but only if I take that first one.
I dunno if what I am doing it right. But for me right now it's working. I do worry about a relapse, but I just don't know how that could happen. Easy to say now right. I don't think of it as "just having a drink". It would be throwing away everything I've fought for thus far, the person I am beginning to like again and going back to the person I despised again. How can I conciously do that? lol But I guess I did it the first time.

I do find this thread very AA oriented. The forum I used to frequent is AA based but welcomes everyone of every quit method and for the most part there is no bickering about it. I'd say about 50% of the people there quit with AA the other 50 with any of the other methods. I just hope I don't need a relapse to find my *right* quit method. I sometimes feel made to feel like it's *wrong* that I quit without the use of AA or a defined method. All I know is I'm healthier and happier than I've been in years because of it and it's working for me for now. But yeah, sometimes I worry about WHY I haven't seemed to need that thus far.

Anyway, mostly just rambling now I guess. Thanks for your input and support. It does mean a lot to me.

There is nothing wrong with the way you quit and the way in which you choose to stay sober. There are many ways and you found ONE. I chose AA because that's what was made available to me and I like it. I am close with a few sober folks who are not AA and they live happy, productive lives. There is no right or wrong in this.

I think all we're saying is that alcohol(ism) is cunning, baffling and powerful. Don't worry or dwell, but be mindful of that as you live your sober life, in whichever way you choose.

The best to you .

[Twineagles]

18 months, clean and sober here. don't ever want to go back to using. Lots of discussion above regarding meetings. Don't know why I regularly go to my NA meetings but all I know, is that when I go, my life is more centered and I always am reminded where I came from. hugs to everyone.

[GreenWave1]

Today marks 5 months for me since a brief slip... I LOVE being healthy & sober.

God Bless!

Congrats man! Stay strong.

[Meatpants]

Havent checked in here in probably 2 months..Took some abuse at a recent meeting for not makin many meetings lately, i knda jumped on the guy explained that since Aug 1 ive been workin six 10 hr days leaving the house at 5:15 am getting off at 4:30 picking up my son and going straight to football pratice so we werent getting home til 7:30 pm/ My wife also works OT at least 2 days a week and has a much longer commute, so like 90% of folke with spouses that work and children theres not enough time in the day..It is what it is..Anyways this guy who ive know for yrs says to me at a meeting is your kids football keeping you sober before i can answer he says i think not....totally caught me off guard and before i could go off on his ass(lol) my sponsor says it most certainly is keeping him ( being me) sober cause if he wasnt sober he most certainly wouldnt be involved with his kids...My sponsor gets on my ass but he knows when im busy with my kids its a big part of my program...
just wanted to share that with yall...My sponsor is rough but saved me from possibly acting like a douche at this meeting...Been back to making our Sat nite speaker meeting( oh yeah my sponsor says open speaker meetings dont count i cant win...lol) Still sober closin in on 50 months..Hope everyone had a good Holiday and as we know Holidays can be the MOST difficult time for ANYONE no matter how many yrs youve got..be careful everyone and stay sober..Im definitely gonna have lots of time for meetings soon , tore my left tricep tendon off at the elbow having surgery Dec 14th. They are sayin minimum 2 months before i can return to heavy construction im here to prove em wrong.It happend 5 weeks ago and they said id be off 2 weeks back then when it initially. I was training in 3 days and back to work on the 4th day. I do understand that t after the surgey ill be hurtin worse than the initial injury.Dr wanted to do surgery 2 weeks ago but explained why i wanted to wait and he said it would be fine worse case scenario would be extra scar tissue hed have to clean up.Reason for waiting 3-4 extra weeks is that im at possibly the largest construction job in the USA now there are 6000 outside tradesman at this job BP refinery in Whiting Indiana and there are so many travelers there that they shut the entre job down for 2 weeks at Christmas, so ill be on medical its nowhere near what i amke with all the OT but its something and ill get a jump on my rehab...Ok holy crap im really rambling on and on and on...Ill be back here a little more often
One day at a time

Good to see you Soups. Hope everything goes well, and you back at quickly.

What I did yesterday instead of boozing up. ****'s hard right now between my nephew, the way my wife is trying to cope and my dick of a boss who keeps trying to get me fired.

That is awesome. Makes me feel like I should open up a little in here. September 1st, my 6 year old was diagnosed with Cancer. Leukemia to be specific. It rocked my worl like nothing has ever done before. The thought of drinking never once, consciously, popped into my head. In the past, I would have used this as an excuses to live in a walking booze infused coma of pity for months. I have been able to be strong for my family in ways that I could have never imagined. JRT6, feel proud buddy. Feels good to not be selfish doesn't it? To actually be there for family when they need you. Good on you brother. Prayers for your nephew.

Well... i knew it i ****ed up last night... got myself a 26onz of rum for the game , starting drinking... felt bad... on my 10th shoot i told myself why the **** im i doing this to myself again? why go through all this **** again and start over... So i grab the bottled went upstairs and emptied it in the sink ! then made a sandwich and went to bed ... i feel bad but then again i feel kinda good, i would of never and i mean NEVER waste 16onz of alcohol before. But still... back to day 1, And since i joined this thread maybe 15 of november or something i have went 2 times to day 5... been a long time since that happened thanks sober crew !

here is what a friend of mine responded to this :

I have done this before (name). It creates mental anguish to give into it. If not during than after. You are fighting it. Fighting the good fight. Keep on fighting and at the same time it is not just about 'fighting'. In all of that there is a point called 'surrender'. When we surrender to the fact that we cannot manage our alcohol and cannot drink. That is a big one. Most if not all of us have been on day one many times. We kept coming back to it not because we are failing, but rather because we were not giving up.

That's good advice, but try to look for your triggers. Many times there was something there that should have sent the red flags up. Many times we start planning this out in the back of our mind. Setting us up for the failure we secretly are looking for. Try to reflect back, and learn from this, so you can prevent it next time. It may be something as simple as giving up football, and going to meeting on game days for awhile.

Your friend gave you some sound advice.

Welcome back. For me, it took a long time to get and stay sober. I think what finally did it for me was this realization that it wasn't a matter of willpower anymore. At one time, it was, but those days were long gone. I made resolution after resolution, promise after promise, and I would honestly mean them. I really wanted to stop. I just couldn't. It's like my mind would play tricks on me. I'd start thinking, oh it wasn't that bad. Or I would think, maybe if I just drink wine. Or, I'll just drink on holidays. I could make a holiday last for months. I could stretch it out into the next holiday. Addiction is an illness of perception. I think your friend makes that point very clear in the last sentence.

Welcome back!

What amazed me, was how conniving I was with Holidays, or [i]special occasions[/]. Every damn time some one sneezed ended up being a special occasion.

Keepin sober. Hope all are doing well and finding their peace. Congrats to everyone ITT sober or not. Even the thought of sobriety takes effort.

Great job buddy. Holidays can get rough. Keep working it.

18 months, clean and sober here. don't ever want to go back to using. Lots of discussion above regarding meetings. Don't know why I regularly go to my NA meetings but all I know, is that when I go, my life is more centered and I always am reminded where I came from. hugs to everyone.

Nice TE. Keep it up.

[pharmamarketer]

That is awesome. Makes me feel like I should open up a little in here. September 1st, my 6 year old was diagnosed with Cancer. Leukemia to be specific. It rocked my worl like nothing has ever done before.

I am sorry to hear this Tony but I know there are incredible miracles everyday with childhood leukemia. The advances they make daily are really remarkable. All the best to your little one. Stay strong and focused. And keep venting somewhere if you need to whether it be here or somewhere else

[JRT6]

Having a child diagnosed with cancer is worse than getting it yourself. Meatpants if you have any fund raisers post them on here and I'll do my part.

[muttytwist]

18 months, clean and sober here. don't ever want to go back to using. Lots of discussion above regarding meetings. Don't know why I regularly go to my NA meetings but all I know, is that when I go, my life is more centered and I always am reminded where I came from. hugs to everyone.

Congrats on the year and a half mark.

[Meatpants]

I am sorry to hear this Tony but I know there are incredible miracles everyday with childhood leukemia. The advances they make daily are really remarkable. All the best to your little one. Stay strong and focused. And keep venting somewhere if you need to whether it be here or somewhere else

Having a child diagnosed with cancer is worse than getting it yourself. Meatpants if you have any fund raisers post them on here and I'll do my part.

Thanks guys. She is responding to chemo very well, and should be fine. Its about a three timeline, but odds are great. In the old days I would have needed to drown my sorrow, and wallow in self pitys and poor mes. Today, I am very thankful that out of all the cancers, we got one of the most treatable, have great docs, and wonderful friends and family supporting us. I am so thankful that I am in the position to handle this, but know that things change quickly, and I must stay in check.

[righter]

Thanks guys. She is responding to chemo very well, and should be fine. Its about a three timeline, but odds are great. In the old days I would have needed to drown my sorrow, and wallow in self pitys and poor mes. Today, I am very thankful that out of all the cancers, we got one of the most treatable, have great docs, and wonderful friends and family supporting us. I am so thankful that I am in the position to handle this, but know that things change quickly, and I must stay in check.

Very sorry to read about your daughter, but overjoyed she is responding well. Keeping your family in my prayers, MP.

[boathead]

thoughts and prayers, tony.

[Twineagles]

Meat, positive thoughts to you and your daughter.

[cowboybiker]

Tony, Prayers always for you and yours.

[thepowerwithin]

Oh, Tony! Your post brought tears to my eyes. I cannot even begin to imagine. I really, really admire your attitude. Know that I will be thinking of you and your little girl and praying for the best.