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Results 1 to 21 of 21
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12-11-2008, 04:40 PM #1Going back to beast mode
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Guys, be careful! Christmas is coming!!
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
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12-11-2008, 04:53 PM #2Do it or don't do it...
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That was hilarious. I am anxious as to when to shop. I did not factor in the loss of my right hand. I think it looks like a google Christmas this year. My dad once got my mom an S and W 357 handgun for mother's day. I now know where he went those next few days.
Do it or Don't do it, There is no try
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12-11-2008, 05:11 PM #3Registered User
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What a great video! Although I'd rescue the guy who bought his wife extra memory for her computer (sigh). Anyway, here's an email my boyfriend received from a college buddy...
CHRISTMAS PRESENTS YOU SHOULD NEVER BUY FOR YOUR WIFE (or girlfriend)
1. A Gym Membership/Excercise Equipment
Remember that time you went to Sears and she was admiring that cool Elliptical Trainer? Don't. For goodness sake act like that NEVER happened. What will she think when she unwraps this thoughtful gift she was admiring at Sears that one day? "He thinks I'm fat." So, if the message you want to send is, "Honey! Lose some weight off your fat a@#!", then, by all means, get her an exercise bike she can rip the handle bar from and beat you to death with.
[VL edit: of course he's not talking about any of the ladies on this site. Buy us some new free weights or equipment and we're yours! LOL]
2. Beauty Enhancement Products
She and ONLY she gets to buy this stuff. Don't confuse this with nice body oils and bath lotions from Bath and Body Works. She'll love that stuff. I'm talking about wrinkle cream and that sort of thing. You might as well just tell her, "Yes, dear! You DO look fat in those jeans!" or, "Man! Are you lookin' OLD!". If she unwraps a gift like this from you on Christmas morning, just plan on spending Christmas night alone. Alone and cold.
3. Lingerie
You cannot win here unless she takes you to the store, points it out to you and says, "Please get me this for Christmas!". What looks sexy to you in Victoria Secret is liable to make her think you think of her as a whore. And while the women are often happy with that role in the bedroom, she doesn't ever want you implying in any way, form or manner she is one. Ever. This is also a "you think I'm fat" danger zone. Miss it by ONE size and your goose is cooked. They will be serving YOU up for dinner. Again, with the exception I mentioned above, do not play with this fire.
4. Clothes
Again, unless she sends you to fetch an outfit from the store for her, and she won't, don't go there. Also, this is women's work. Really. Women love to shop for clothes, try them on, fuss over them and rethink themselves several times before deciding on an outfit. As a rule, they don't let others pick out their clothes for them. Have you ever gone clothes shopping with her? Bring a book. "The Stand", by Stephen King is a good choice. It's over a thousand pages.
5. Household Appliances
This isn't The Price is Right and you aren't Drew Carey. She is not going to get excited when you go into your best Rich Fields impersonation and and yell, "It's a new Dishwassssshhhher!!!" Buddy, you'll be the one using that thing, I promise. That's if she doesn't shove you into it and turn it on HOT, with heavy wash. Nope, no blenders, toasters, irons, fridges or ovens for Christmas. Ever.
6. Kitchen Utensils
You might be in Wal Mart, at wits end on Christmas Eve, searching for that one last present and come across the coolest looking kitchen knives with block set you ever saw. It might even be made of gold with Sean Connery's picture on it. Don't do it. Not unless you want to witness her trying to perfect her new knife throwing act with you as the practice dummy. You'll have it coming, too.
7. Things You Can Use Disguised as Things for Her
Last and far from least. I'm reminded of the episode of The Simpsons Homer bought Marge a shiny new bowling ball with the name "Homer" etched into it. She's smarter than that boys! Marge promptly kept that ball, took up bowling and left Homer alone with the kids. YOU should get so lucky that's all that would happen to you. Go head, get her that drill press that, coincidentally would just put the finishing touches on your work room. What work room? Oh, you mean that place that looks like an A-bomb was just dropped on it?
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule and there is a chance you are married to or with the gal who would love nothing more than a new coffee maker for Christmas. Then by all means, go for it. But, generally speaking, avoid the above gifts for her and LISTEN to what she talks about all year long, and you are pretty close to Christmas morning seeing that woman you love wearing the beautiful smile you fell in love with. If you are really lucky later, that's all she'll be wearing...."None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm." - Henry David Thoreau
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12-11-2008, 05:26 PM #4Going back to beast mode
- Join Date: Jan 2006
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LOL, a gun, eh?Originally Posted by tomdana
I think it looks like a google Christmas this year. My dad once got my mom an S and W 357 handgun for mother's day. I now know where he went those next few days.
Fwiw, I've been shopping on-line for over a decade. I wouldn't do it any other way. In fact, I just ventured into another new "buying on-line" experience; My daughter's 16th B-day is Sat., and I just received 14K gold, 1/2cttw diamond stud earrings that I ordered on-line. Yep, diamonds on-line. They're beautiful and just what I expected. In fact, I did shop local jewelers and compare TW with clarity & color grades. Man, do you have any idea how much people get ripped off buying jewelry in a conventional store?
Yep, pretty good list and very good reasons to go with each oneOriginally Posted by _VL
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"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
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12-11-2008, 05:29 PM #5CARLMAN
- Join Date: Mar 2004
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Originally Posted by _VL
Uh oh, I got my wife the Wii fit. She asked for it.
Is it a trap.
Make room for me in that doghouse guys.
Every day counts.
-[][][]---------[][][]-
I has a PHmuthaf'nD in Broscience!
ntrllftr > azstrengthlosscouchpotato
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12-11-2008, 05:33 PM #6Going back to beast mode
- Join Date: Jan 2006
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Just etch "Homer" into itOriginally Posted by ntrllftr
Uh oh, I got my wife the Wii fit. She asked for it.
Is it a trap.
. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk..........
Make room? Hell, I built the f'cking place! Plenty of room for all.Originally Posted by ntrllftrMake room for me in that doghouse guys."If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
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12-11-2008, 06:15 PM #7Registered User
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want to adopt me, im a little past sixteenOriginally Posted by dbx
LOL, a gun, eh? Fwiw, I've been shopping on-line for over a decade. I wouldn't do it any other way. In fact, I just ventured into another new "buying on-line" experience; My daughter's 16th B-day is Sat., and I just received 14K gold, 1/2cttw diamond stud earrings that I ordered on-line. Yep, diamonds on-line. They're beautiful and just what I expected. In fact, I did shop local jewelers and compare TW with clarity & color grades. Man, do you have any idea how much people get ripped off buying jewelry in a conventional store?
Yep, pretty good list and very good reasons to go with each one.
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12-11-2008, 06:23 PM #8Horn Dog
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Hi MaryOriginally Posted by maryinmesquite
I miss Beer
I'm Ready (SpongeBob Squarepants)
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12-11-2008, 06:38 PM #9Registered User
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Hey DBX, if you're in the Christmas spirit of adopting folks, then how about adding my college-age daughter into the equation? (Just for a few minutes during Christmas morning so you can lavish gifts on her, I want her for the rest of Christmas and the rest of the year). Her college tuition put a big dent in my pocketbook this year!Originally Posted by maryinmesquite
She's a very sweet kid, looks like Liv Tyler, great brains, great soul, great manners, and a great heart, so I am sure she'd fit in well with your family for the couple of minutes she'd be there!"None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm." - Henry David Thoreau
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12-11-2008, 07:45 PM #10The Cake Is A Lie!
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Originally Posted by ntrllftr
There will come a day when I tire of listening to 80's music. That day is not today.
I Really Miss The Old BodySpace
-O35 5'8" Crew- -Karl_Hungus Crew-
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12-12-2008, 01:05 AM #11Registered User
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My x got me a garage door opener one year for Christmas, couldn't put him in the dog house because he actually thought it was a great gift.
It's the thought that counts.
Carl, we're getting the We Fit at work, can't wait to play
Being a real lifter is not about a number, or a medal, or somebody else telling you that you are a real lifter. It is about commitment to the iron and strength of purpose.
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12-12-2008, 01:48 AM #12Registered User
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lol I sent this to my female boss (a personal trainer) just now!Originally Posted by _VL
Except the VL edit part...
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12-12-2008, 02:58 AM #13Workin' Stabilizers
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haha awesome vid
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12-12-2008, 03:42 AM #14CARLMAN
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At work? I want to work with you.Originally Posted by gbg
:
Carl, we're getting the We Fit at work, can't wait to play
Every day counts.
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I has a PHmuthaf'nD in Broscience!
ntrllftr > azstrengthlosscouchpotato
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12-12-2008, 05:07 AM #15Registered User
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ok , i may not be average , but i received a carpet shampoo machine one year and loved it , and this year my girls asked me what i wanted for my birthday , i said a new ladder ( ex took the good one) and they bought me a 7' fiberglass and metal step ladder and i love it , exactly what i needed and wanted
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12-12-2008, 05:15 AM #16Canis Belli
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Yeah, my wife wants "kitchen scissors," apparently for cutting meat. But the rest of VL's list was bang on in my experience.Originally Posted by maryinmesquite
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12-12-2008, 05:51 AM #17Going back to beast mode
- Join Date: Jan 2006
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Originally Posted by maryinmesquite
Why soitenly
I have three of my own, and two are in college, thank you!Originally Posted by _VL
Hey, let's face it; sometimes when money is tight you have to pass off practical gifts under the guise of being "specially for you"Originally Posted by gbg
And that's what makes a gift a good oneOriginally Posted by maryinmesquite
"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
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12-12-2008, 06:10 AM #18Registered User
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I emailed this video all over the place.......LMAO.......I tried to buy my wife some personal trainer time at the gym last year needless to say it didn't go over real big!. "Buy her something nice like a gym membership?.....Yeah that's it........Wrong!"
Happily married father of four and grandfather of two and one on the way. Edit: Grandfather of 3 as of 02/28/2009.
http://workout.bodybuilding.com/MtnBikeMike/
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=113013061
"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!" Texas A&M University.
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12-12-2008, 06:27 AM #19Seeking my inner Amazon
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Some women have all the luck! He would be in my good books for years for that! Man, I get dumb things like frying pans and other useless items most of the time. Where did your mom get him? I want one of himOriginally Posted by tomdana
That was hilarious. I am anxious as to when to shop. I did not factor in the loss of my right hand. I think it looks like a google Christmas this year. My dad once got my mom an S and W 357 handgun for mother's day. I now know where he went those next few days.
Bodybuilding: striving to defeat your own demons and overcome self imposed limitations.
Martial arts: the ideal rhythm of a movement is manifested as powerful grace.
Sang H. Kim Ph. D.
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12-12-2008, 07:55 AM #20I'm not that bright
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dbx....translation = "dual bag x"?
On a related note, I have no idea what I'm getting my wife for Christmas.Jon Cole's Gym: '79 - '85
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=9275071&d=1603917754
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12-12-2008, 08:37 AM #21Registered User
- Join Date: Aug 2008
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hey thanks for the tips VL!
Fwiw, I've been shopping on-line for over a decade. I wouldn't do it any other way. In fact, I just ventured into another new "buying on-line" experience; My daughter's 16th B-day is Sat., and I just received 14K gold, 1/2cttw diamond stud earrings that I ordered on-line. Yep, diamonds on-line. They're beautiful and just what I expected. In fact, I did shop local jewelers and compare TW with clarity & color grades. Man, do you have any idea how much people get ripped off buying jewelry in a conventional store? 
. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk..........
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