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  1. #1
    ...only one muscle counts strong_penor's Avatar
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    FUNNY & COOL responses to mundane questions

    We are all asked the same mundane basic questions when on a date or just hitting on a random girl. I think that it is always a lot more interesting to respond with a funny story instead to break the monotony.

    For example (taken from this thread):

    Do you have any hobbies? / What do you do for fun?
    Answer: Sometimes when no one's home I enjoy separating m&m's into color groups and pretending they're little villages of people with their own economic and social problems, and then I try to fix them through free trade agreements and other diplomatic measures

    OTHER QUESTIONS:
    -What do you do for a living?
    -How many people have you slept with?
    -What is the craziest place you have ever had sex in?
    -What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
    -What was your major in college?
    -What is your favorite movie?

    Note: Feel free to either quote this post with responses or add your own questions/answers. All worthy responses deserve reps. I see this thread having epic potential.
    Disclaimer: I did not read your post, so quit bitching my reply to you makes no sense.
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  2. #2
    ...only one muscle counts strong_penor's Avatar
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    Note that the purpose isn't to memorize these quotes. It's to give you a funny framework to work off of. I have no problem being witty, but **** like that M&M quote is just too damn funny.

    P.S. Off to meet some crazy ass chick and looking to get laid. Wish me luck misc.
    Last edited by strong_penor; 11-30-2008 at 06:44 PM.
    Disclaimer: I did not read your post, so quit bitching my reply to you makes no sense.
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  3. #3
    ...only one muscle counts strong_penor's Avatar
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    What the hell is this ****. I was expecting like a 20 page thread by now. Go bitches!!!! I want to see this thing be five star mod-stickied by the time I come back tomorrow night.

    P.S. REPORT: Attempt at poon failed. Not because I couldn't get laid, but because I had to ditch the chick as she was too fukin psycho.
    CONCLUSION: Don't go on a date with a girl that appears fukin crazy from the first ten minutes you met her -- she probably is crazy.
    Disclaimer: I did not read your post, so quit bitching my reply to you makes no sense.
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  4. #4
    I have AWMNS Skettch's Avatar
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    One day I will rule the world with an Iron Fist.
    Civilizations die from suicide, not by murder. - Arnold J. Toynbee

    "Death of the West:How Dying Populations and Immigrant Invasions Imperil Our Country and Civilization", -Patrick Buchanan.

    I have AWMNS(angry white male nerd syndrome), its an offshoot of AWMS(angry white male syndrome) but incorporates my nerdy demeanor.
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  5. #5
    Eagles/Yanks Deal With It MA5Bergey's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by strong_penor View Post
    -How many people have you slept with?
    See that's where you come in.

    -What is the craziest place you have ever had sex in?
    After tonight, hopefully your vagina.

    -What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
    Sitting here talking to you ranks up there.

    -What was your major in college?
    I graduated magna cum laude with a degree in anatomy.

    -What is your favorite movie?
    Gentlemen Prefer Jenna.
    (no serious)
    -NY Yankees, NY Knicks, Philadelphia Eagles, UConn Huskies Fan-
    XBL Gamertag: II Bergey II

    <<< #4 Crew >>>
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  6. #6
    ...only one muscle counts strong_penor's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MA5Bergey View Post
    -How many people have you slept with?
    See that's where you come in.
    hahahaha I can see myself doing this. gjdm.

    I'll add mine tomorrow.
    Disclaimer: I did not read your post, so quit bitching my reply to you makes no sense.
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  7. #7
    Registered User LeftNut's Avatar
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    I like you Strong Penor, you make up 2/3 of my being so Im going to give you a bit of age old wisdom.......I dont know about what to say for a funny response but I can tell you what not to say when a girl asks...

    Her -How many people have you slept with?
    Me - Define slept with.
    Her- Had sex with.
    Me - Did they have to be concious to it at the time?
    Her - Errm yes....
    Me - zero.

    Turns out girls dont like humour about rape.
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  8. #8
    spell of iron de_barathrum's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LeftNut View Post
    I like you Strong Penor, you make up 2/3 of my being so Im going to give you a bit of age old wisdom.......I dont know about what to say for a funny response but I can tell you what not to say when a girl asks...

    Her -How many people have you slept with?
    Me - Define slept with.
    Her- Had sex with.
    Me - Did they have to be concious to it at the time?
    Her - Errm yes....
    Me - zero.

    Turns out girls dont like humour about rape.
    haha, yeah rape jokes never get me very far.

    btw this thread has alot of potential. its too easy to get caught up in the same mundane bull**** pre-programmed conversations. might as well throw something in every once in a while that no one sees coming.
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  9. #9
    call da ambalamps gobstpr's Avatar
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    What is your favorite movie?
    the one we're going to make later tonight.
    ^_^


    "Don't worry about what will happen, just go for it. Remember, its easier to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission. Oh, and grow a pair." - AriesUnleashed
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  10. #10
    Banned Schnitter's Avatar
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    Talking

    -What do you do for a living?
    Telemarketing. Can I get your number?
    -How many people have you slept with?
    Total? or max at a time?
    -What is the craziest place you have ever had sex in?
    In my mind.
    -What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
    You will eventually find out.
    -What was your major in college?
    I dont do majors, I like minors (no pedo)
    -What is your favorite movie?
    Any that will make girls open up, and by that, I mean legs not thoughts.
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  11. #11
    Registered User LeftNut's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by de_barathrum View Post
    haha, yeah rape jokes never get me very far.
    Yeah dont then make the situation worse when she starts off a conversation about the subject by replying with more rape jokes...

    Her - Do you think Rape is funny?
    Me - No, why would you ask that?
    Her - Why do you think?
    Me - Listen love, rape is no joke. You have no idea how difficult it is to carry off carrying around duct-tape and chloroform as a fashion accessory.
    Her - How is that even funny?
    Me - Exactly its not, and you know what else is not funny.....the chances of getting a 2nd date with them is non-existent.
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  12. #12
    Registered User Matt B's Avatar
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    Any answers to more high school related questions guys? lol


    What's your name?

    What year are you in?

    Why did you leave your old school?

    Your so and so's brother aren't you?

    What do you like to do?

    What are you studying?

    or when a girl just says "You're hot". ?
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  13. #13
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    Originally Posted by Matt B View Post
    Any answers to more high school related questions guys? lol
    Yes.

    What's your name?
    Conius

    What year are you in?
    Jeans and a t-shirt

    Why did you leave your old school?
    serious face the shrug and topic change. Your red so i suspect you did something stupid.

    Your so and so's brother aren't you?
    Sure am

    What do you like to do?


    What are you studying?
    eye her up and down

    or when a girl just says "You're hot". ?
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  14. #14
    Hell is worth all that... The_Champ01's Avatar
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    One I always use for the name question

    Her: "So what's your name?"
    Me: "Can you ask an easier question"
    "Alcohol and night swimming... it's a winning combination!".

    And the people bowed and prayed to the neon god they made.

    I steal my **** from MacGyver...

    If women ran the world, we'd still be searching for the wheel.
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  15. #15
    Registered User Exist 2 Inspire's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by strong_penor View Post
    -What do you do for a living?
    I'm the guy that puts the rubber bands on the lobsters' claws at the grocery store.
    Braves - Falcons - Hawks
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  16. #16
    Registered User LeftNut's Avatar
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    -What do you do for a living?

    - Breathing usually helps.

    - Im a Balaclava model, you may have seen me on Crime watch.

    - You know when you go into a supermarket and you're standing there at the checkout? Well Im the guy who's sat under the till making the beeping noises whenever the cashier is scanning the items. Yeah yeah I know what you're thinking, its not the most glamorous of positions but like all jobs it has its ups and downs. The downside is it does get very repetitive and monotonous plus it aint half a killer on my back. But the upside is its not particularly strenuous and the the path to advancement within the company is pretty good. I've got an interview about being promoted to Entrance Security Barrier next week, hopefully I can get it because the pay is better for less work and its more of an upright position within the company. So fingers crossed. *crosses fingers*

    - I used to work in a cigarette factory, but the place caught fire and it all went up in smoke.

    Me - I marry people officially like those people in Las Vegas.
    Her - Oh you mean like an Ordained Minister
    Me - No more like a gold digger and serial divorcer.

    -What is the craziest place you have ever had sex in?

    - In an Asylum.

    -What is the craziest thing you have ever done?


    I guess whatever it was that led me to being in an Asylum to have sex.
    Last edited by LeftNut; 12-01-2008 at 03:58 AM.
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  17. #17
    Registered User FullSack's Avatar
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    what do yuo do?

    -i specialize in security

    are u like a bouncer?

    -nah, social security
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  18. #18
    Banned bluemarlinO4's Avatar
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    ive done the home security bit.

    so where do you work
    oh home security
    like what company
    oh no company, i sit at my house on my ass all day making sure nobody breaks in when everyone else goes to work.
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  19. #19
    fresh like damn Act Brolic's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Schnitter View Post
    -What do you do for a living?
    Telemarketing. Can I get your number?
    -How many people have you slept with?
    Total? or max at a time?
    -What is the craziest place you have ever had sex in?
    In my mind.
    -What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
    You will eventually find out.
    -What was your major in college?
    I dont do majors, I like minors (no pedo)
    -What is your favorite movie?
    Any that will make girls open up, and by that, I mean legs not thoughts.

    i liked the answer to the what do you do for a living question. epic reps brah
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  20. #20
    Registered User 8282's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Schnitter View Post
    -What do you do for a living?
    Telemarketing. Can I get your number?
    -How many people have you slept with?
    Total? or max at a time?
    -What is the craziest place you have ever had sex in?
    In my mind.
    -What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
    You will eventually find out.
    -What was your major in college?
    I dont do majors, I like minors (no pedo)
    -What is your favorite movie?
    Any that will make girls open up, and by that, I mean legs not thoughts.
    Awesome. ^

    On a more serious note to the OP. Responding with humour, like your first example is good and works for some people, however it has to suit your personality and you can't overdo it either. If you are constantly responding with corny, funny comments you will begin to look like an idiot. You have to have balance.
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  21. #21
    Registered User taxsux's Avatar
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    When they ask my name I reply.

    Honest Abdul..



    Honest..

    Her: What do you d for a living?
    Me: Well if I tell you might treat just like a disposable object.
    (You can adlib a bit more being sensitive etc)
    Her: Tell me pleaseeeee...
    Me: Penis Model

    Then etcetcetc..
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  22. #22
    Banned Schnitter's Avatar
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    bump for MOAR
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  23. #23
    Are you dead yet? deseee's Avatar
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    Q:"how old are you?"
    A:"Old enough to know better, young enough not to care"
    Shouldn't you be lifting something heavy instead of reading this?

    []---[] Equipment Crew Member No. 8
    Workout Equipment Crew: We do it on Power Racks
    Bashing the Bowflex since 2008 for DiamondDelts

    Bulldozer feeds upon the weaker as they fall. Bulldozer crushes all! - Machine Head

    Owes me a case of beer: dolson27
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  24. #24
    Banned Schnitter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by deseee View Post
    Q:"how old are you?"
    A:"Old enough to know better, young enough not to care"
    you dont look old enough to me on your avatar pic.
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  25. #25
    ...only one muscle counts strong_penor's Avatar
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    LMFAO at most of these!!!! Good Job Dave Men! Reps to all when I can.

    We need MOAR! If we get more responses like these, I'll organize it into a single thread for easy future reference and for the good of the misc.

    P.S. lmfao at this text I just got from this teenage girl, "da reason y i didnt respond to ur msg is cause i wanted u 2 know what its like to be ignored." hahahahaha I couldn't even remember what the hell she was talking about until I checked. Like I give a **** lol. Teenagers are funny.
    Disclaimer: I did not read your post, so quit bitching my reply to you makes no sense.
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  26. #26
    Banned Schnitter's Avatar
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    No more imaginashun in here?
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  27. #27
    Born To Roam PatrickDurden's Avatar
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    I like to keep things interesting regardless of who I'm talking to, I hate the same old "What have you been up?" "Not much, you?" conversation that everyone has 1 million times a month. One of my personal favs is "just a squirrel trying to get a nut."
    Don't just stare at it, eat it.
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  28. #28
    Token hillbilly willoughby's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by strong_penor View Post

    OTHER QUESTIONS:
    -What do you do for a living?
    -How many people have you slept with?
    -What is the craziest place you have ever had sex in?
    -What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
    -What was your major in college?
    -What is your favorite movie?

    What do you do for a living?
    I'm a porn star, my porn name is *insert funny nickname*(example, fuzzywillo), don't tell anyone though

    How many people have you slept with?
    How many do you think i've slept with?

    She''ll either say a high number or low number respond with
    "wow, you think i'm a man whore :P" if it's a high number or, "I don't live in a cave babe, i get out every onces in awhile" if it's a low number

    Crazyiest place you've had sex in
    We'll we had sex in a tree, and i fell out, i hurted myself =[
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  29. #29
    Registered User designer12's Avatar
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    Do an "are you aware" in real life. Keep talking until she stops you.
    Owe reps to:
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  30. #30
    Everything's cool dude EctoMorph_9's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by strong_penor View Post
    Do you have any hobbies? / What do you do for fun?
    Answer: Sometimes when no one's home I enjoy separating m&m's into color groups and pretending they're little villages of people with their own economic and social problems, and then I try to fix them through free trade agreements and other diplomatic measures
    holy ****, that sounds like fcuking women repellant.

    maybe it's just my personality, but if I said that i'd sound like I were trying WAY too hard to be funny.

    but hey, whatever works for you
    Last edited by EctoMorph_9; 12-02-2008 at 08:04 AM.
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