I was trying to think of some of the most fool-proof ways of killing someone, and here is what I have come up with.
1) Take them out on a boat, kill them, bust out their teeth (teeth would make them easy to identify), fill two buckets with cement, place their feet in the buckets, and when it dries, dump them overboard. Best if you do it out in the middle of the ocean. By the time anyone could get out there to investigate (if they could ever find the spot) the body would have decomposed and there would be no dna or dental records to identify the body.
2) Kill them however you want, bust out the teeth (should always do that), go to a construction site at night, dump them in a porta-potty. Any weird smells users noted would just be chalked up to an especially juicy poop. By the time anyone got there to check (and who would go in and check in there for a body?) the bacteria in the poo would have decomposed the body. No evidence left.
3) Kill them and break into a funeral home at night. Cremate the body. Put the ashes in a river or something.
4) Take them out into the middle of nowhere, preferably somewhere with a body of water and lots of animals nearby. Find as big as possible of a blackberry bush. Bust out the teeth, cut off the fingers/toes. Kill them and roll them down into the middle of the blackberry bush. Throw the fingers and toes into a river or a lake, and take the teeth with you, and throw them away somewhere totally unrelated, somewhere detectives would never think to look.
Anyone else got any good ideas?
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