The Road I'm Traveling...

[njg13]

Well, it's been a loooong time since I've been on here, about a month. But, it seems so much longer than that. And, when I look in the mirror, I can definitely tell!! It's driving me crazy and making me sick all at the same time. I feel like I've lost all determination and will power. The good thing is I feel it still lurking inside, I still want to be fit and strong. It's just a matter of breaking the bad habits I've picked back up over the past month and getting serious again. I felt so much better when I was exercising. I felt strong.

I have been surprised at how much my muscles have changed. I've learned the lesson - If you don't use 'em, you lose 'em. My legs and butt feel so soft. My arms look different. My husband says he can't tell any difference but I've gained about 7 pounds and I can tell that I'm getting soft. I was never "hard" but I'm squishier now than a month ago.

My sister is getting married on December 20th and I really want to look good for her wedding. I'm a bridesmaid and I do not want to be the fat, flabby one!

I have the next 8 days off from work and I really want to get my act together. Diet has always been my biggest struggle. I'm not a big meat eater and don't like any kind of fish so that really hurts my protein intake. I'm going to use a lot of chicken and turkey. I've never cared for yogurt and have just got to where I like vanilla. My next step is to go to plain. Maybe I should mix vanilla whey protein in plain yogurt?

If anyone has any ideas for a diet that's easy and not too hard to stick with, I'm open for any and all suggestions. I purchased REDuction a while back and still have most of it. I started slacking not long after I bought it. I plan on using that as I get started again. Also, I'd love to find a buddy to help keep each other accountable.

Today is a new day. I am ready to make a new start. One of my favorite quotes - "There is no TRY, only DO!" That's how I am going to approach this. "Trying" is not an option. I have to get off of my butt an "DO" it!

[indiglo9124]

Hey there! Glad you decided to come back. Everyone struggles sometimes and needs a break so dont be too hard on yourself

As far as your protein limitations what about tofu? Lentils? Quinoa? Greek Yogurt? Cottage Cheese? Protein Powder? Its important to find something that is managable for YOU dietwise.

What do you plan on doing as far as your workouts?

[njg13]

I've never tried greek yogurt, what does it taste like? I will also get some lentils to try.

As far as workout, I love to run so I'll be running for cardio. I've read that when lifting it's not good to do too much cardio so I'll probably limit the long distance (3-5 miles) running to 3 days per week. I'd like to do some short HIIT sessions on weight training days or on off days. As far as weight training, I am going to do Todd Opheims' "One Year Work Out Guide". Here's the link: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/workyear.htm

So far, that seems to be the one that I can do with the equipment I have and seems well thought out. There is a progression from all inclusive workouts to a split routine.

I've been toying with the idea of using this next week as a sort of boot camp since I won't be working. I don't want to fatigue myself but I feel like I need a good swift kick in the butt to get started. I was thinking of doing one main work out and then maybe adding a walk or some sqats, lunges, pushups, etc without weights for a second mini-workout. What do you think?

[sugaraddict]

Hi! I just recently joined this site and find it super helpful and great! I read your journal and found it very similar to my situation!! My nutrition was always something I struggled with (hence my nickname) so Ive spent the past week getting that in check....

You should try out egg white and cottage cheese pancakes. Its really tasty and it has lots of protein. The cottage cheese melts so its not to bad!!
1/2 cup oats (blended into powder)
1/2 cup cottage cheese
3-4 egg whites
mix it all up and cook like pancakes....

As for your week off, your boot camp workouts sound like a great idea!! I currently dont have a gym so I was doing workout videos for the past week and I was actually pretty sore...

Let me know how your first week goes!! Ill be routing you on!!

[njg13]

I've made pancakes with ground oats, egg whites, pancake mix and protein powder and they were pretty good. I know the pancake mix isn't good but they tasted really good. I especially like them with a little unsweetened applesauce. That's my problem, if I don't like it, I won't stick to it, or at least have a really hard time sticking to it. I've tried telling myself that I don't need to enjoy the foods I eat, but rather just view food as fuel for my body, but that hasn't worked so far. I figure there has to be a mix of foods that will help me get strong and fit that I'll half way enjoy at the same time. If not, I at least have to start that way.

[njg13]

Overall, yesterday was fair. I did really well the first half of the day. I kept my food intake in check and I felt good. However, I didn't exercise like I wanted to and I ate more late in the evening than I would have liked. I would like to find an appetite suppressant that I can take later in the day and not have trouble sleeping. I know part of my problem is that I just need to go to sleep. I did lose a pound so I guess that's a good thing. Today, my goals are: no eating after 7, stick to meal plan late in the day and exercise according to plan for today.

[sugaraddict]

Hey girl!! Good job on keeping your eating in check in the morning! Sometimes when I eat off track in the evening its because I had too long of a break in between my meals in the morning/afternoon and i get a case of the binge eating... or sometimes I am just super bored and use eating for something to do....
Maybe try to plan your workouts in the evenings so you wont have to worry about eating off track and maybe that will motivate you to eat the proper amounts since youve just exercised!
Good luck and keep on pushing!!!

[rubes00]

Hey there just popping in to say hi... I'll be routing you on too! Dec 20th is plenty of time to turn things back around

[njg13]

Ok, to start out I bought some cheapo whey protein powder. Yes, I know, not the best idea, but I'm still learning. So, my question is, what's the best? Also, the one I got has tiny crystals in it. I've used it for a few things and the crystals don't disolve very well. That means that when I'm eating or drinking I occasionally bite down on a crystal. Think: biting a piece of sand in your mouth. Yuck! So, is that because it's the cheapo stuff or is all whey protein that way?

[njg13]

Yesterday went pretty good. I ran 3.17 miles and that felt great. My food was pretty good. I'm not eating as many calories as my plan says I should (1980) but I just can't imagine eating that much. I'd just be sitting around eating all day. I figure that if my calories aren't as high as it says, but my macros are in check and I'm not hungry, I'll be ok. All I can do is to keep trying to get there. Yesterday my calories were around 1250. To me that sounds more like what I should be taking in anyway. The plan I'm on is 71 days and starts out at 1980 calories and ends up at like 900. Each cycle is 11 days and the calories gradually go down with each cycle. The macros are also specific for each day.

I weighed this morning and I'm down 1.5 pounds from yesterday. I know that sounds like a lot but I've gained 7-10 pounds over the past month and I feel like that weight will come off really quickly and then it will level out. I think part of it is also that I've been eating like a cow and now that I'm not stuffing my face anymore, I'm not carrying around all that food in my stomach and my body isn't retaining as much water.

Well, I have a day of cleaning planned so I guess I better get started. Hey, at least I'll be burning some calories!

[rubes00]

Hey um that sounds weird about the protein... I don't know what that could be Is it a whey isolate, concentrate, blend.... there's many variations to protein. Cheap protein doesn't necessarily mean it sucks either. I mean as long as the main ingrediant is either a WPI, or WPC and it fits your macros, you should be good. The taste is a secondary issue

Nice job with the weight loss. Don't get stuck on weighing yourself every day though. Just a warning. The 1.5lbs loss is probably due to a lot of water weight from getting back on track...

Keep it up. Looks like your determined to stay on track!

[njg13]

Yeah, unfortunately, I'm a scale junkie. I weigh every morning. When I don't, I lose focus and eventually gain. But, I don't rely on the scale alone. Until lately, every 2 months or so I have had my measurements and body fat taken. I haven't had that done in a long time (since June 12) and I know it's because I've not been doing very well as far as staying focused. I probably should have made myself go and have it done anyway. Damn, just thinking about this is making me feel so guilty!

I feel bad because for so long I was so focused. I worked my ass off and it felt good. I lost weight consistently and that felt good. I felt strong. But, since the end of summer, I haven't been eating as well and I haven't been exercising like I know I should. For a while my weight was steady and then over the past three weeks, I gained. I went from hovering around 152-155 all the way up to 162. Wow, I can't believe I just put that out there. Compared to others on this site, I feel like such a fat ass. I keep telling myself that I've just been busy. I got a teaching job and it has been hectic, but that's no excuse. I know better. In the end, it comes down to how bad do I want this? And for me, saying I want it isn't enough. I feel like if I truly do want it, I will make time, I will figure it out. Damn it! I am so frustrated with myself. It pisses me off to think of where I could be now if I had just stayed focused. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I give up on myself? It makes me want to scream!

Ok, so I am going to make an appointment to have my measurements and body fat done during the second week of November. My goal is to be at 138 by the 5th of November so having my measurements and body fat done around that same time makes sense to me. Ok, so I know I'm rambling. I guess I'll go workout now.

[rubes00]

Wait so you're wanting to lose like 15lbs is less than 3 weeks???

[njg13]

I wish. In reality, I know that's not feasible. I expect to lose about 3 pounds per week, only because that's the rate I was losing at before I stopped trying. However, I also know that there's a possibility that won't happen. I suspect that the first 10 pounds will come off really quickly, like a week to 12 days and then I'll go from there. I am basing that assumption on what I have expereicned before and I realize that this time may be totally different. I guess i figure if I set the bar higher than what I feel like I can realistically achieve, I won't give myself room for slacking. In the past, I've found that if I don't set my goal pretty high, I end up saying, "well, I can start tomorrow and still lose X amount." In addition, I am not dead set on a number on the scale. If the scale doesn't go down but I can tell I'm losing inches and my clothes are fitting better, I'll be happy. I just have to give myself something to work for. Honestly, I'm just at a point of frustration right now. I'm pissed at myself for slacking off. I hate the way my body looks. I feel like my body will never look "normal" without some kind of plastic surgery, even if I lose all the weight. When I weighed this morning, I was back to 162.5. That means the past week has went like this: 10/12-158, 10/14-162, 10/15-161, 10/16-159.5, 10/17-162.5. It just makes me mad. And I know it's my fault, but that doesn't make it feel any better.

[rubes00]

Hey girl. Keep your spirits up. Weight loss is a long battle for most of us. And you're no where near being overweight. You MUST stop weighing yourself everday though That's where most your problems are coming from. And don't focus so much on weight loss.. period. Take some pics, measurement, and get your BF done. Then start doing weekly or bi-weekly weigh ins. And find a diet you can live with that's not going to make you binge! Hit the weights hard and add cardio one day at a time. You'll get there

[njg13]

Ok, so I've thought long and hard about this. I've been reading everyone's journal and I'm ready to get serious again. Fall Break is over and it's time to get back to business. (Special thanks to rubes00 for being such an inspiration!) So, tomorrow is Day 1. I will post an update each night to help keep myself accountable. As far as weighing everyday, I just have to right now. I'm just not ready to give it up yet. Also, my body image is SOOOO screwed up, I doubt I'd believe any progress any other way. I guess the good thing is that I can read that back to myself and know that it's a majorly screwed up way to look at things but for right now, one day at a time. I made an appointment to have my measurements and body fat taken on November 10th so that gives me 3 weeks to see what I can do. After that, I'm thinking of having it done every 4-6 weeks. What do you all think? The last time I had it done was June so it's been a while. I would love to see improvement but I'll be happy if I've not went backwards. (I'm lying, I'll be very sad if it's the same or worse) All I know is that I don't like what's happening to my body and I'm the only one who can change it, so here goes! My goal for the next 13 days (until 11/2) is to follow my workout schedule exactly and stay within my food allowances.

[njg13]

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! I'm have a carb attack! At least that's what I think it is. I'm not really hungry but I want something to eat really bad. Something "carby" like crackers or chips sounds really good. I am going to fight this off though. I have a feeling that I have been majorly overloading my body with carbs and it's going to take some time and will power to break the habit/cycle.

[Brahette]

Hey there! Dec 20th will definitely give you plenty of time to get back on track! I agree with Rubes in that the scale can be the devil! I get on it once a day, in the morning, but I also know to not neccessarily believe what it says. I take my measurements about every week or 2 weeks, but I haven't been at this for too long and I just got back from a mini vacation ugh lol.

What are you doing for your meals? How many per day? And what do your macros look like?

Best of luck!! I'll be right here with ya!

[njg13]

As far as meals, I found a article by Clayton Smith called "A Step By Step Plan For Body Fat Reduction". I put in my stats and it popped out my macros. It's a 71 day plan that gradually reduces the number of calories. Each cycle is 11 days and after 11 days the calories go down. For me, it starts at 2280 calories and decreases down to 780. Now, I cannot fathom eating 2280 calories so I am doing the 2nd cycle for the first 2 weeks. It's 1980 calories and that still seems like a lot to me. As far as Macros, I'm not sure exactly how the percentages break down but they do change a little from day to day. It tells you per meal but when I tried to go meal by meal, it was super frustrating so I multiplied each meal amount by 6 to get a daily total. For the first couple of days, the macros are: 120 protein, 330 carbs and 30 fat for the day. Then the next 3 days are 144 protein, 258 carbs and 36 fat. It continues to fluctuate throughout the 11 day cycle. Then the calories are redcued for another 11 day cycle. After 71 days, you are supposed to take 4 weeks off before starting again. (If you want to start again) Here's the site if you like to check it out: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/south9.htm

I'd love to hear what you gals think about it!

[rubes00]

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! I'm have a carb attack! At least that's what I think it is. I'm not really hungry but I want something to eat really bad. Something "carby" like crackers or chips sounds really good. I am going to fight this off though. I have a feeling that I have been majorly overloading my body with carbs and it's going to take some time and will power to break the habit/cycle.

Do you live alone, with family, friends??? The number one cure for this is to keep this crap out of the house. Out of sight, out of mind right A good rule when you're craving something is to wait 20 minutes and most likely your craving will go away. If not give yourself a small bit of what your craving... if you're not going to over indulge in it. Also drink lots of fluids to keep full. Try chewing a piece of gum. There's also a lot of recipes out there that seem like 'carb' foods but aren't. You'll figure out what works for you!

As far as meals, I found a article by Clayton Smith called "A Step By Step Plan For Body Fat Reduction". I put in my stats and it popped out my macros. It's a 71 day plan that gradually reduces the number of calories. Each cycle is 11 days and after 11 days the calories go down. For me, it starts at 2280 calories and decreases down to 780. Now, I cannot fathom eating 2280 calories so I am doing the 2nd cycle for the first 2 weeks. It's 1980 calories and that still seems like a lot to me. As far as Macros, I'm not sure exactly how the percentages break down but they do change a little from day to day. It tells you per meal but when I tried to go meal by meal, it was super frustrating so I multiplied each meal amount by 6 to get a daily total. For the first couple of days, the macros are: 120 protein, 330 carbs and 30 fat for the day. Then the next 3 days are 144 protein, 258 carbs and 36 fat. It continues to fluctuate throughout the 11 day cycle. Then the calories are redcued for another 11 day cycle. After 71 days, you are supposed to take 4 weeks off before starting again. (If you want to start again) Here's the site if you like to check it out: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/south9.htm

I'd love to hear what you gals think about it!

This seems like a decent diet until the last couple weeks. You should never go that low on cals. You're not supposed to go below 1200 cals.... period!!! You will mess up your metabolism. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear. But it's the truth

You could start off with a diet consisting of 1500 cals of so.... healthy fats, complex carbs, and lean proteins. You gotta experiment though to see what works.

You'll do fine girl. Keep at it!

[Brahette]

I agree with Rubes, 780 calories is absolutely ridiculous! You would be absolutely starving and your body would get all sorts of messed up! You could get an idea of cals by doing your BMR calculation. That will tell you how many cals you need to stay at your current weight. All you have to do is decrease that (usually 500-1000 cals) and you'll be losing weight! I do a 40/40/20 split, but another one you could consider is 50/30/20, or basically anything you want to come up with.

And I also agree about the out of sight, out of mind concept. I get cravings every once in awhile and I'll open the cupboards and fridge and then realize that I don't even have any junk food or chocolate or anything, so it's not worth the time. I am also constantly drinking water throughout the day, so that helps as well. If I happen to get a craving or hunger (which isn't that often anyway), I'll just get some more water. Keeps me occupied and helps subside the craving as well.

[njg13]

Ok, I'm back. Yeah, I said I was starting over and going to do great and that was my plan. Then the sick bug hit my house. My husband and I were both sick and feeling like crap. Needless to say, my nutrition wasn't great, pretty much noexistant and I didn't do anything except work and lay around trying to get better. But, I'm feeling better adn ready to get started. I even turned down bbq baked potato, Chinese and pizza for lunch today. It seems everyone is ordering out, but not me. I am serious about getting my diet in check.

I haven't weighed so I'll just use my weight the other day for my beginning stats. i guess it's better that I got sick to start with rather than starting and then getting sick.

Do you live alone, with family, friends??? The number one cure for this is to keep this crap out of the house. Out of sight, out of mind right A good rule when you're craving something is to wait 20 minutes and most likely your craving will go away. If not give yourself a small bit of what your craving... if you're not going to over indulge in it. Also drink lots of fluids to keep full. Try chewing a piece of gum. There's also a lot of recipes out there that seem like 'carb' foods but aren't. You'll figure out what works for you!

Thanks! I live with my husband and 2 kids. I try to limit the "crap" that gets brought into the house, but not everyone is as gung-ho as me.

This seems like a decent diet until the last couple weeks. You should never go that low on cals. You're not supposed to go below 1200 cals.... period!!! You will mess up your metabolism. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear. But it's the truth


I agree with Rubes, 780 calories is absolutely ridiculous! You would be absolutely starving and your body would get all sorts of messed up! You could get an idea of cals by doing your BMR calculation. That will tell you how many cals you need to stay at your current weight. All you have to do is decrease that (usually 500-1000 cals) and you'll be losing weight! I do a 40/40/20 split, but another one you could consider is 50/30/20, or basically anything you want to come up with.

I thought about this and I also agree that 780 is too low. I am going to start at 1980 and work my way down but once I get to a certain point (1100-1300) I'll stay there. I'm all about listening to your body and measuring results by how you look and feel. I just like to have a guide to keep me accountable. I'm new to "bodybuilding" (although I don't really think that's what I'm doing) and so I'm still learning about macros and why they're important. Guess that's why after losing 60 pounds, I still feel like I look the same. Had I known then what I know now, I wouldn't be a skinnier (not skinny yet) version of my fat self! Anyway, I know what I have to do and I'm excited about seeing changes. I'll post Day 1 this evening.

[Brahette]

Hope you're feelin better! Good luck!

[njg13]

Thanks, I am. Things are going good, but I've not had a lot of time to write. I'll update everything tomorrow when I get back home. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

[njg13]

October 24 & 25, 2008

Day 1 & 2

Well, the past two days have been pretty good. I'm feeling much better so that always helps. We came to the lake so I've had some much needed relaxation.

Cardio

As far as cardio, I have walked while we've been here and I'm ok with that because I'm still not 100% so it's probably best if I ease into it. Also, It's been a while since I've done hard core, consistant running/cardio.


Nutrition

I haven't calculated my macros yet, but I feel like my nutrition has been pretty good. I avoided alcohol while we've been here, which has saved me a lot of calories. Last night when everyone was feasting on spread for the ball game, I stuck to a small potion of pasta and homemade vegetable soup.

[rubes00]

Glad you're feeling better!
Good job getting in a little walking while at the lake and sticking to your small portions!

[njg13]

October 25 - November 1, 2008

Week 1

Ok, so instead of having a daily update this week, I'm just doing a weekly one. It's been going pretty good. I've been eating better and getting in exercise when I can. Not as much as I'd like, but I'm getting there. I have been exercising primarily in the evening and this week I am going to add some quick exercises for legs/buns and abs in the morning before work. I am going to alternate days. My husband started first shift today so that means I have some relief in the evenings and I can get back to running outside. I am going to run on M, W, F and do weights Tu, Th, Sa. I'll post my routine this week and try to do better about posting each night. Also, I haven't been weighing, which is not normal for me and I'm a little scared to get on the scale tomorrow morning. We'll see!

[Brahette]

Good luck! And don't listen to the scale, he's such a liar anyway! I only hop on once a day but really need to stop doing that. It's all about measurements and progress pics!

[rubes00]

Hoorah for giving the scale a break

**rubes00 slinks away since she's not been practicing as she preaches**

Did you weigh this morning??? I want more updates darnit!

[njg13]

Ok, it's time for confession/breakdown. Since my last post things have gone downhill. WAAAAYYYY downhill. I have been eating like crap, not exercising, getting fat and not motivated at all. I feel like total **** about myself yet I won't get my fat ass up and do something about it. Deep down I know I can do this. I mean, I lost 60 pound from November 07 to June 08. 60 POUNDS!!!! So what the hell is happening to me. I just want to cry. On one hand I want to start over and on the other hand I am so fed up with "starting over". I just want to be finished! I just want to feel good about myself. Even at my lowest weight I still felt like crap, probably even worse than at my highest weight. It's like when I was really fat, I just didn't care so I didn't look at myself and so I didn't notice. God, I can't believe I'm writing all of this. As I lost weight, I started looking for changes, paying attention to my body more and hating it more everyday. Now that I'm putting weight back on, it's just getting even worse. I don't want to be really fat again!!!! I don't understand my sudden obsession with food. For so long I did so weel and it's like I've been hit by a train, a fat train! My schedule has been crazy since I got a job but I know better than to use that as an excuse. Exercise made me feel great so why am I being so lazy? Why don't I just do it? I have great intentions and what I feel is a relatively good plan so why is it that I can't stick to it? I know this is long and probably not what you want to hear, I just don't know hwat to do. I'm so frustrated and disappointed with myself.

P.S. I'm thinking of fasting for a few days (water only) to get that craving for so much food to go away. What do you all think about fasting?