Jerome Dinh's Pec Tear Journal

[jeromedinh]

Without a doubt i know i have an infection. The area is very, very painful, red, large but no pus. I called my Dr Daly who was on call and he prescribed me antibiotic (875mg of AMOX-CLAV ie AUGMENTIN) twice daily for 10 days. I'm going to see him tomorrow and at this point i can not return to work yet. I put a call in and left message for my boss. I'll also call my short-term disability company tomorrow.

This pain is more painful then the days following surgery. I cant move my arm at all or i immediately feel the pain. I just cant wait for this medication to kick in and tonight im definately taking 2 pills of percoset!

Heres a pic of the wound, as you can see its so puffy that my stretch marks bulge out!

[jeromedinh]

This afternoon i went to see Dr Daly and his staff. After exam they determined that the infection is a HEMATOMA ie an accumulation of blood the body isnt able to absorb. It measured 9cm by 12cm...damn huge and painful. They are going to give the antibiotics 48hours to work and if the swelling and redness doesnt go down, I'll be under the knife AGAIN by end of the week. If they go in, they will make my incision an inch or inch & half longer. He will go in, drain the blood and wash it out. The procedure would be 30mins but my fear is i'll have another horrible reaction to anethesia and overnight stay in the hospital...forget that! Since i got home i've been icing it on and off, the hematoma was SOOO hot that i couldnt even feel the coldness of the ice pack on my 1st application. Icing makes it feel much better.

I'm trying to stay positive but man its hard. I just want to have a normal working arm to start up my bodybuilding again...well not even that, i just want to be functional again.

Until further notice I will be off work for another 3 weeks. I know my job will not like it but i have to take care of myself.

[Caymen.]

Hi bro been reading your thread and find some of it relates to when i had gyno surgery 2 years ago.

i didnt want the general aneasthetic so they agreed to do my op with just local, this sounds like this could be an option you could ask them about, they did my op through the armpit and worked through a 10mm incision and it worked out very well.

so if its just flushing out then this might be an option.

hope it goes well whatever method you choose.

Cay.

[str8flexed]

man sorry to hear that Jerome. try to stay positive. they'll get this thing worked out. hopefully the anti-biotics do their job

[jeromedinh]

Hi bro been reading your thread and find some of it relates to when i had gyno surgery 2 years ago.

i didnt want the general aneasthetic so they agreed to do my op with just local, this sounds like this could be an option you could ask them about, they did my op through the armpit and worked through a 10mm incision and it worked out very well.

so if its just flushing out then this might be an option.

hope it goes well whatever method you choose.

Cay.

good to know i'll bring that to their attention if i have to have surgery, thanks man!

man sorry to hear that Jerome. try to stay positive. they'll get this thing worked out. hopefully the anti-biotics do their job

dude you have no idea, its extremely painful, hurts to the slightest touch! the antibiotics, well i cant see a huge difference since i've been on them last Sunday. all i can do is ice it, rest and pray

[jeromedinh]

The doc says that the hematoma ( i did some research online and i think its an extreme subcontaineous hematoma) doesnt look "as angry" as it did on Monday. We both agreed that surgery is the last solution. He said eventually the body will absorb it over a month or two? I sure the hell am not satisfied with that answer this thing feels like a monster, juiced up zit that you cant pop...no kidding! To gain a better understanding of the damage, he had me get ANOTHER MRI (even with insurance i have to cough up over $100.00!). So i went down to CDI, they strapped me down ON TOP of my HEMATOMA so there was constant pressure on it! Now it hurts like a sonofabitch. I should have my results by Friday then i'll have to set up ANOTHER appointment with the doc to go over my options.

MAN this SUCK, i was fine with tearing my pec, i was fine with surgery but now i have this HEMATOMA...not so cool. The pain only goes away when i'm at FULL bed rest and not moving or after 2 percoset pills. Plus my TRAP kills from holding my arm up 24-7.

I know everything happens for a reason but this is totally unclear to me...i'll have to wait and see and have faith in GOD.

[jeromedinh]

Yesterday the doc called me and said that i'm going into surgery on Tues. Dr Daly and his partner are going to release the hematoma and look into my wound.

Funny thing happened since the MRI, due to the pressure they put on my hematoma when they strapped me in, the blood moved into my surgerical opening area. It grew like a balloon, very full, soft and squishy. Last night examining it, i noticed a couple areas that looked like they were going to explode. Both areas happened to be between the steri strips.

Low and behold, last night at 2:24am i awoke and noticed i was a bit wet on the right side of my body. I thought that it might be sweat but just in case i woke up and went to the bathroom. I called the wife in to help out as the blood was flowing down my right side of my stomach and arm. I squeezed as much orangish/redish blood out as i could and redressed it. The dressing lasted for 6 hours.

When i woke up this morning i removed the dressing, squeezed out a little bit more blood and dressed it up again. Since the hematoma popped, i have WAY less pressure and pain. I just have to keep an eye on it until surgery day.

[str8flexed]

damn, I hope they get it all this time man

[aguy0523]

whoa...holy crap man. hope that gets better 4 u.

[JDF1972]

Jerome,

Good luck on Tuesday. Don't worry, the docs will get you fixed up soon enough. Stuff like this happens....

John

[Xceed]

hmmmmm im very worried right now, the thing is like 3 weeks ago y had the same problem but a very minor one.....had no bruises at all and there was only pain doing bench press or chest excersices.....hmmm the thing is i kept working out since the pain went away during workouts, and right now i strech my arms and pecs and dont feel a thing.....just when i put some mayor weight in the bench press its hurts.....so i think i may need some rest for the pecs....i haven trained pecs for a week now and it feels good......but im still very worried, because since reading this thread i have found out that this problem happends alot, but in no way it happend like urs....

I oftenly do some streching so i dont lose any tipe of movement in the arm-pecs area....because i thought that it might be healing badly, like what the doctor told u about the repearing tissues after the 2 weeks of the injure. So im still thinking if it is necessary to go check myself ......it really worries me....so i would like to ask for ur advice on this one......what do u guys think....

Hmmm sorry for my bad english.....i lived in southafrica when i was a kid (when i was 5 and stayed there till 8), and now im 20, sooooo sorry.

[Most Muscular]

Jerome, sorry to hear about the injury and complications that have gone along with it. It appears that you have been trying to make the best of it realizing that you can't just sit there and do nothing during this time.

Like yourself, I was also faced with such an occurance in 1996-97. I was suffering from severe shoulder pain so I took 3 months off from working shoulders and chest hoping that the injury would heal itself... it never did. I finally went to a doctor and he said I could have done nothing for 3 years and it wouldn't have made a difference because I had a tear in my labrum lining of my shoulder and would have had to have my should complete imobilized during that time for the lining to heal properly. I ended up having surgery and then too another 3 months from working shoulders and chest before I sloooowwwlllly returned to full strength.

I used that time to focus my efforts on my legs and back, both of which were lagging behind my genetically gifted shoulders. In the end I brought them up to give myself a more complete physique. A silver lining in the dark cloud.

If you use this time, like you have been, to focus on improving your legs, you will be blessed in the end with a well balanced physique.

nuff said...

[jeromedinh]

hmmmmm im very worried right now, the thing is like 3 weeks ago y had the same problem but a very minor one.....had no bruises at all and there was only pain doing bench press or chest excersices.....hmmm the thing is i kept working out since the pain went away during workouts, and right now i strech my arms and pecs and dont feel a thing.....just when i put some mayor weight in the bench press its hurts.....so i think i may need some rest for the pecs....i haven trained pecs for a week now and it feels good......but im still very worried, because since reading this thread i have found out that this problem happends alot, but in no way it happend like urs....

I oftenly do some streching so i dont lose any tipe of movement in the arm-pecs area....because i thought that it might be healing badly, like what the doctor told u about the repearing tissues after the 2 weeks of the injure. So im still thinking if it is necessary to go check myself ......it really worries me....so i would like to ask for ur advice on this one......what do u guys think....

Hmmm sorry for my bad english.....i lived in southafrica when i was a kid (when i was 5 and stayed there till 8), and now im 20, sooooo sorry.

My best suggestion would to be lay off any benching period. In fact i would do no chest exercises for a good while, at least 1 month off. About 1 1/2 years ago i had a minor tear, maybe even a strain in my left pec. I took off a month of chest exercises and afterwards i only did high rep isolation movements and NEVER started compound movement without a thorough warmup via isolation movement working sets. Needless to say it was stronger then ever thereafter..until my right pec went out LOL

Listen to you body and you gut instinct and it will save you pain and agony in the end! I didnt listen to my gut instinct and i'm paying for it!!

Jerome, sorry to hear about the injury and complications that have gone along with it. It appears that you have been trying to make the best of it realizing that you can't just sit there and do nothing during this time.

Like yourself, I was also faced with such an occurance in 1996-97. I was suffering from severe shoulder pain so I took 3 months off from working shoulders and chest hoping that the injury would heal itself... it never did. I finally went to a doctor and he said I could have done nothing for 3 years and it wouldn't have made a difference because I had a tear in my labrum lining of my shoulder and would have had to have my should complete imobilized during that time for the lining to heal properly. I ended up having surgery and then too another 3 months from working shoulders and chest before I sloooowwwlllly returned to full strength.

I used that time to focus my efforts on my legs and back, both of which were lagging behind my genetically gifted shoulders. In the end I brought them up to give myself a more complete physique. A silver lining in the dark cloud.

If you use this time, like you have been, to focus on improving your legs, you will be blessed in the end with a well balanced physique.

nuff said...

wow man, you came back better then ever and that gives me hope. it seems no matter how high i keep my confidence something turns around and trys to kick it down. i'm trying to stay positive, its just hard when you work SOOO hard, make it your lifestyle and something like this happens and crushes all the hard work you've done. i havent train my right side since my pec tore on 09-07-08..its almost 2 months and now, now i have to have surgery again. its like all that time was in vein.

on the brighter side, i'm still doing legs..as much as i can. its mostly isolation movements at this point but once i have full movement of my right arm i'm going to do more compound movements. even if i wanted to do more compound movements i couldnt because the release hand is on the right side and i cant reach it LOL. plus my legs still look great and have improved. my upper body is getting fatter but i need to keep the cals high for the legs.

THANKS EVERYONE for your thoughts and concerns. Train smart, listen to your body and your gut instinct. Unless you go through this or any injury you really dont know how hard,challenging and depressing this is physically and mentally. I can admit though, i NEVER took my physical attributes for granted and i was ALWAYS thankful for my health and what GOD has blessed me with. I'm assuming this is a test by GOD and i'm going with the flow...

[jeromedinh]

Tomorrow i head back into surgery. I spoke with Dr Daly today, the plan is to go in, clean out the hematoma and see if i need anymore repair work. The surgery should take 20-30mins but if i need repair it could be an additional 30mins plus. I PRAY that i dont have a tear and dont need repair. If so, I think i could start physically therapy in a week. Since the hematoma popped Saturday morning i have NO PAIN!! In fact i feel great but i've been keeping my arm in a sling..just in case. I cant wait to have full movement again. My arm has no shape, its dry, the surface of my skin is bumpy..i dont know if they are zits or what?

At this point i think i have finally accepted that my upper body will be skinny and fat for a while. I'm not happy with it but it is what it is. So i'm going to make the best of it and train my ass off via legs and once i'm done with physically therapy I'm going to cut down and lean up. In fact i've been fantisizing about jogging again. Sounds weird but i really enjoy running outside especially during sping and fall. Yeah I'll loose size, so what. I just want to look good and healthy again. I can gain size anytime and i have lots of good years ahead of me. Sometimes you make plans, goals and life throws a curve ball at you and you have to reanalyze your situation again. It always seems, things never turn out the way you want it...all that you imagine ALWAYS turns out to be different in reality.

[jeromedinh]

Yesterday i had my second pec tear surgery. They removed and cleaned the hematoma and found that the torn muscle was unrepairable. The doc believes the contribution was from my 1st surgery when he repaired the tendon to the bone, which in turn stretched the muscle fibers and shredded it by doing so. Ain't that a bitch! Good news, the tendon is still attached to my bone and i have minor damage. I'm confident that it will not be too noticable once i start training again. As far as the surgery it was a complete success as far as no complications post surgery. I got to go home that same night. I think the reason why i had to stay over night on my 1st surgery is because they gave me numbing meds with pain meds resulting into nausea. Plus they gave me an anti-nausea pad to wear behind my ear.

Today, i have some sorness and i'm bandaged up pretty good. The doc wrapped me up tight so i wouldnt have any excess bleeding resulting in another hematoma. I spoke with the doc and he said i might be able to start up physically therapy in 10days....i hope so!

[aguy0523]

wow....bro take it easy man. ur really pushing it going to the gym, yes ur gonna shrink but....it just the way its gotta be. seriously, this isnt a minor injury. no point in pushing if ur tear it even more and u can never lift.

just rest and watch some dvds or something .lol

hope u get better soon. look into IGF-1 LR3/oratropin if ur in to that scene. it will help ur pec recover way more.

[jeromedinh]

wow....bro take it easy man. ur really pushing it going to the gym, yes ur gonna shrink but....it just the way its gotta be. seriously, this isnt a minor injury. no point in pushing if ur tear it even more and u can never lift.

just rest and watch some dvds or something .lol

hope u get better soon. look into IGF-1 LR3/oratropin if ur in to that scene. it will help ur pec recover way more.

no, the gym has nothing to do with what happened. the hematoma and rip was the result of my 1st surgery when the doc sowed me up. even if i didnt go into the gym, it still would have torn. besides, i didnt compromise my upper body position when i was in the gym. there was no way i could have torn it as my arm was immobilized in the sling. but i understand where you are coming from. the doc just messed up and instead of making the muscle hold stronger as he intended, he compromised it and the recovery when he added more strength to the tie-ins.

as far as recovery, the tendon is still attached to the bone from my 1st surgery, some of the muscle attached to the tendon was torn but only a fraction so i might has some distortion.

if drugs were an option, i would certainly take your suggestion but because its illegal without prescription, expensive, not to mention the side-effects i havent even considered it.

i appreciate all your feedback. this experience has opened myself up more to GOD and getting to know him. i've been doing a lot of reading because i can not watch one more min of TV.

[aguy0523]

no, the gym has nothing to do with what happened. the hematoma and rip was the result of my 1st surgery when the doc sowed me up. even if i didnt go into the gym, it still would have torn. besides, i didnt compromise my upper body position when i was in the gym. there was no way i could have torn it as my arm was immobilized in the sling. but i understand where you are coming from. the doc just messed up and instead of making the muscle hold stronger as he intended, he compromised it and the recovery when he added more strength to the tie-ins.

as far as recovery, the tendon is still attached to the bone from my 1st surgery, some of the muscle attached to the tendon was torn but only a fraction so i might has some distortion.

if drugs were an option, i would certainly take your suggestion but because its illegal without prescription, expensive, not to mention the side-effects i havent even considered it.

i appreciate all your feedback. this experience has opened myself up more to GOD and getting to know him. i've been doing a lot of reading because i can not watch one more min of TV.

ya...time get netflix man. lol. i must have seen every movie during my recovery. i had a hard time holding the books with my left hand. im a righty.

[jeromedinh]

ya...time get netflix man. lol. i must have seen every movie during my recovery. i had a hard time holding the books with my left hand. im a righty.

hahah too funny! i have comcast which has a feature called ONDEMAND and i must have watched every single free movie they have to offer. a lot of movies i would have never watched, i watched and actually enjoyed them!

yep, im a righty too and when reading a thick book you really build up your forearm strength! funny isnt it when forced to use your opposing hand, how efficient you become to everyday tasks...im even using chop sticks with my left hand lol.

[ROSEVILLECA]

Sorry to hear about your recent misfortune... I suppose it will make you appreciate your health once you are at 100% again, I know I will with my pec tear!!! I can't handle that sling for another minute, drives me nuts as well!!! Eat clean, do your cardio, and you will be good as new in no time!!! Thanks again for posting your journey, it helped me a lot towards finally getting the attention I needed to get my surgery done... If I hadn't seen your blog, I would be having my 1st meeting with the sports doctors on 10/28!!! By then who knows what could have happend!!! So you said everything happens for a reason, so maybe part of it was to help me, I tore 80% of my muscle off and they weren't going to do surgery!!! So, thank you!!! Best of luck!!!

[jeromedinh]

Sorry to hear about your recent misfortune... I suppose it will make you appreciate your health once you are at 100% again, I know I will with my pec tear!!! I can't handle that sling for another minute, drives me nuts as well!!! Eat clean, do your cardio, and you will be good as new in no time!!! Thanks again for posting your journey, it helped me a lot towards finally getting the attention I needed to get my surgery done... If I hadn't seen your blog, I would be having my 1st meeting with the sports doctors on 10/28!!! By then who knows what could have happend!!! So you said everything happens for a reason, so maybe part of it was to help me, I tore 80% of my muscle off and they weren't going to do surgery!!! So, thank you!!! Best of luck!!!

Well bro i'm glad some good came out of my journal! **** happens and i just have to keep my faith that all will be ok.

I hope your recovery is flawless bro and best to you and yours. Keep me updated!

[jeromedinh]

One thing i noticed from my last surgery then from my first was how the doc sowed me up. This time he didn't use steri strips and the suteres were thicker. In addition, it looks like a fricken railroad track. I'd take pictures but i'm sick of seeing my wound!

48hour after surgery i took off the original dressing. There was no bleeding at first. But as the day progressed it bleed a bit more. The following day, the whole day there was no bleeding. Then, yesterday after being on the computer for about 15mins i noticed my wound was bleeding again. I redressed it probably 2-3 times yesterday. TODAY, i really laid down the dressing and i'm STILL BLEEDING(no puss, just blood)!! WFT - my first surgery, i bleed for what 2 days and its almost a week since my last surgery. Normally would not be concerned IF i noticed the bleeding was slowing down but it seem consistent. One particular area, about 1/2 way down is where the bleeding stems from.

Pain, really there is none now but there seems to be a small hard lump thats sore and semi-hot, mid-bicep?

NOTE: I have been practically on bed rest this whole time aside from the normal everyday duties.

I feel that this isnt normal and the doc didnt sow me up properly. Man I'm really having my doubts about this doctor, I'm so pissed off. I KNEW i should have found a doctor who had done this procedure on numerous occations but i figured Dr Daly who graduated from Harvard, Notre Dame, and Mayo Clinic at the top of his class and has over 22years experience under his belt, could get this **** right. I guess there is no better qualified person then a person who learns through experience!

This experienced has cost me, my work bonus, 2 surgeries, 2 hospital bills, 2 anesthesia, numerous doctor visits, 2 MRIs, med costs, parking fees, its a complete and total disaster!

I just want to be healed so i can move on with my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jeromedinh]

For the last 2 days(knock on wood) the bleeding has slowed down dramatically. Now, all i have is some spotting..very minor. Basically I've been sitting on my as$ for the past week, literally.

My diet has been poor, wife hasnt been cooking so i have to fend for myself and try to get as much protein as i can. I can not WAIT to get full movement in my right arm, it looks pathetic. Once i have that capability I'm going to start running and diet down and get rid of some of this bodyfat.

Today i trained Hams and had a great workout. Legs are a bit weaker...not much, probably by a rep or two?

Tomorrow i have my post-op doc appointment and hopefully i'll have good news i.e. start physical therapy in a week I guess it depends on the healing. With the unrepairable tear, perhaps i have to wait it out another 2-3 weeks?

This week is my last week off then i go back to work on Monday. I'm kind of looking forward to it. I know I'll be swamped at work...I'm not looking forward to rush hour again. Plus i look like cr@p these days. I've probably gained a couple or several bodyfat percentages and lost 4lbs since i tore my pec. I base it upon my appearence and the fact that i've lost muscle mass in my upper body.

I'm curious to see what how John Cena looks after his pec tear a year ago. If we could all be as fortunate to get state-of-the-art docs and facilities as he did. I bet he'll come back better then ever. I wish he had a public journal so i could mimic his recovery process!

[aguy0523]

For the last 2 days(knock on wood) the bleeding has slowed down dramatically. Now, all i have is some spotting..very minor. Basically I've been sitting on my as$ for the past week, literally.

My diet has been poor, wife hasnt been cooking so i have to fend for myself and try to get as much protein as i can. I can not WAIT to get full movement in my right arm, it looks pathetic. Once i have that capability I'm going to start running and diet down and get rid of some of this bodyfat.

Today i trained Hams and had a great workout. Legs are a bit weaker...not much, probably by a rep or two?

Tomorrow i have my post-op doc appointment and hopefully i'll have good news i.e. start physical therapy in a week I guess it depends on the healing. With the unrepairable tear, perhaps i have to wait it out another 2-3 weeks?

This week is my last week off then i go back to work on Monday. I'm kind of looking forward to it. I know I'll be swamped at work...I'm not looking forward to rush hour again. Plus i look like cr@p these days. I've probably gained a couple or several bodyfat percentages and lost 4lbs since i tore my pec. I base it upon my appearence and the fact that i've lost muscle mass in my upper body.

I'm curious to see what how John Cena looks after his pec tear a year ago. If we could all be as fortunate to get state-of-the-art docs and facilities as he did. I bet he'll come back better then ever. I wish he had a public journal so i could mimic his recovery process!

HEY!! u stay out of that gym man. u let that thing heal. 2 months min! if ur shady about the doc's performance during surgery then u def do not want to rush the recovery. so what u dont have a ripped 6 pack. wait this thing out and u will come back better then rushing it and god knows what could happen. u say things happen for a reason right? then something is coming out of this. focus on something else besides the gym.

[jeromedinh]

HEY!! u stay out of that gym man. u let that thing heal. 2 months min! if ur shady about the doc's performance during surgery then u def do not want to rush the recovery. so what u dont have a ripped 6 pack. wait this thing out and u will come back better then rushing it and god knows what could happen. u say things happen for a reason right? then something is coming out of this. focus on something else besides the gym.

thanks for you concern bro but if i believed that training legs would hinder my healing i wouldnt train them. the doc said it was okay and i'm very knowledgable in the subject. i know what exercises and intensity i can limit myself to. but on that same note, i will not train my upper body until i can train my right side. plus, as far as injuring myself..the damage is done and it can not get worse, its unrepairable...unless i start working out on my right side LOL.

its not that easy to accept not having a 6 pack. i've been doing this for over 13 years, thats over 13 years of HARD WORK. but i have accepted that i will not have a "6 pack" for sometime....no biggie at this point, esp with this being offseason and winter right around the corner.

i am sure you're not the only one who doesnt agree with me training this early but watch, i'm confident that all will be perfectly fine going forward.

oh and yes bro, i have been focusing on other things outside training. not only has this given me more family time but i have been working on my relationship with GOD. that was the only thing lacking in my life. i'm reading this book called "HELL. Separate truth from fiction and get your toughest questions answered" by Bill Wiese. it has totally changed my view on GOD and Christians in general.

[jeromedinh]

I just came back from my post-op doc appointment. So here is what took place. Little bit of bad news....there still seems to be some hematoma still left in the wound. He squeezed, pushed..like you would a zip and the blood just oozed out. I wont be able to start physically therapy until the hematoma is gone and the wound is healed. THE GOOD NEWS, I'M OUT OF THAT DAMN SLING! He said for the time being i can use my right arm for everyday things and slowly stretch it out. My arm hasnt been in a lateral position since 09-07-08! As you can imagine, my arm is SOOOO tight and has only inches of movement moving vertically or horizontally...BUT I'M SO PSYCHED! Its been quite the challenge remembering that i can move my right arm now because i always want to revert to my left arm. For the most part i'm going to use my left arm and i think it will be the case going forward.

My next doc appointment is in 2 weeks and hopefully all will be well by then!

[pryme]

Jerome, just seen your thread and wanted to say get better soon man. you will come back better! I showed this to Mike T he may post also.

[aguy0523]

thanks for you concern bro but if i believed that training legs would hinder my healing i wouldnt train them. the doc said it was okay and i'm very knowledgable in the subject. i know what exercises and intensity i can limit myself to. but on that same note, i will not train my upper body until i can train my right side. plus, as far as injuring myself..the damage is done and it can not get worse, its unrepairable...unless i start working out on my right side LOL.

its not that easy to accept not having a 6 pack. i've been doing this for over 13 years, thats over 13 years of HARD WORK. but i have accepted that i will not have a "6 pack" for sometime....no biggie at this point, esp with this being offseason and winter right around the corner.

i am sure you're not the only one who doesnt agree with me training this early but watch, i'm confident that all will be perfectly fine going forward.

oh and yes bro, i have been focusing on other things outside training. not only has this given me more family time but i have been working on my relationship with GOD. that was the only thing lacking in my life. i'm reading this book called "HELL. Separate truth from fiction and get your toughest questions answered" by Bill Wiese. it has totally changed my view on GOD and Christians in general.

yaa....not tryin gto sound like ur daddy or notin...lol. ya those books can tear your mind apart. one minute i dont belive in god and the next im saying oh god please help me thru this one. lol

[jeromedinh]

Jerome, just seen your thread and wanted to say get better soon man. you will come back better! I showed this to Mike T he may post also.

thanks bro but i'm a LONG way from that! out of curiousity i thought i would measure my arm to see how much muscle i've lost...so far i've LOST 1/2 inch on my left arm and over 1 1/2 inch ON MY RIGHT ARM!! it looks absolutely ridiculous. my arm hasnt been this tiny since high school..so depressing!

yaa....not tryin gto sound like ur daddy or notin...lol. ya those books can tear your mind apart. one minute i dont belive in god and the next im saying oh god please help me thru this one. lol

hahha no worries man, i appreciate your concern. i use to be kind of anti-chrisitan though i believed in GOD but after reading this book it really educated me about all the questions i had that i didnt think anyone could answer logically. lol i do know what you mean though

[jeromedinh]

The bleeding in my wound has almost ceased. I replaced the dressing today and WOW it looks nasty. I look like frankenstein...the stitches look horrible, all my skin is bunched up and it looks like rainroad tracks PLUS my right arm looks so small!!!!! I did a half as$ most muscular and i have NO SHAPE in my right arm/delt and when i flex my right chest is shakes out of control!

Out of curiousity i decided to do my arm measurements....my LEFT ARM was 17 1/2" and RIGHT ARM was 16 1/2"!!!! I lost 1/2 on my LEFT ARM and over 1 1/2" on my RIGHT ARM!! Plus I'm not going to be able to train for MONTHS still. The plan is to train legs only then once i can train with my bad arm i'm going to restrict my left arm from doing any more weight then my right arm. Man i dont know how i'm going to pull this one off and get my shape back??