Some people should not be allowed to have kids

[Minotaur]

I found out that my stepdaughter's boyfriend was just kicked out his house by his parents. She's 15, he's not yet 18. His parents took away the car, and wouldn't let him take his school books. As far as I know, he didn't do anything to warrant it. He's a good student, doesn't get into trouble. I was told his parents are "just weird".

Personally I think a well-placed call to DYFS (NJ Division of Youth and Family Services) since he's underage, is in order. I think once the school finds out the parents kept the school books...

I just don't understand people.

[dbx]

Pretty thin premise there imo, Frank. If I had a dime for every time a young teen (15yr old) claimed parental cruelty...... . Their versions tend to be a little...um..distorted, even though maybe not intentionally. Take away their X-Box and the next day at school their friends will hear all about the evil beings that are their parents . Two sides to every story.

Just sayin'...........

[SP1966]

x2 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Been there done that...

[kimsquit]

Pretty thin premise there imo, Frank. If I had a dime for every time a young teen (15yr old) claimed parental cruelty...... . Their versions tend to be a little...um..distorted, even though maybe not intentionally. Take away their X-Box and the next day at school their friends will hear all about the evil beings that are their parents . Two sides to every story.

Just sayin'...........

I have to agree with dbx here Frank - although I can understand your instinctive reaction. IMO, the crux of the biscuit is this:

As far as I know, he didn't do anything to warrant it.

I'd be very surprised if after 15 years of responsible parenting, his folks just up and booted him out of the the house for no reason whatsoever. My understanding is that because of where they are at developmentally, most teens have difficulty with 'cause and effect' as it applies to them. The brain isn't yet fully wired to accept that "behaviour A' will result in 'Reaction B', which is why so many teenagers feel persecuted and hard done by.

But I do agree with you that people should have to pass a mental competency exam in order to be a parent

[ntrllftr]

But I do agree with you that people should have to pass a mental competency exam in order to be a parent

Take a test to drive a car...

Any _____ fill in the blank can have a kid.

Me included

.

[Nikonguy]

......My understanding is that because of where they are at developmentally, most teens have difficulty with 'cause and effect' as it applies to them. The brain isn't yet fully wired to accept that "behaviour A' will result in 'Reaction B', which is why so many teenagers feel persecuted and hard done by.

A brazillian X.

I don't have any teens but I teach them alllllllllll day looooooong. Nothing is ever their fault

On the other hand I have wanted to stand up in many a parent-teacher conference and bitch slap a parent for trashing a kid while the kid is sitting right there.

I think there is more to this story than meets the eye and it could go either way.

[Minotaur]

Um... he doesn't have anywhere to go. He's 17. As I said, I know the kid. I'm not sure I understand the "instinctive reaction" to villify the kid. He's been responsible, had a job, does well in school, doesn't drink or party or do drugs. He didn't move out, he was thrown out. And I did say it's pretty well know his parents are kooks. If you are such responsible parents, you give up at 17 years and throw a kid out? Give up? Sounds very responsible to me. Yeah OK.

Thanks for the reality check.

[sickonstorm]

first off ur 5'5 and 217 pounds and skinny fat, second off, an 18 yr old is notentitiled to a car, and parents do not have to provide food, shelter, or school books. tell the lazy **** to get a job.


thanks for the neg cause im an 18 yr old telling u the truth. u need to wok on ur grammer brah and not insult teenagers who tell you how it is.

[kimsquit]

Um... he doesn't have anywhere to go. He's 17. As I said, I know the kid. I'm not sure I understand the "instinctive reaction" to villify the kid. He's been responsible, had a job, does well in school, doesn't drink or party or do drugs. He didn't move out, he was thrown out. And I did say it's pretty well know his parents are kooks. If you are such responsible parents, you give up at 17 years and throw a kid out? Give up? Sounds very responsible to me. Yeah OK.

Thanks for the reality check.

frank, I don't think anyone has "villified" the kid, but having said that, you haven't provided anything of substance to lead people to want to villify the parents either:

I was told his parents are "just weird".

isn't much to go on - particularly in light of how most of us - yourself included - have experienced mob judgment based on nothing more than rumour and speculation.

Reading back, all anyone's said here is that there isn't enough information to rush to judgement on one side or the other.

[ntrllftr]

He's 17.

second off, an 18 yr old is notentitiled to a car, and parents do not have to provide food, shelter, or school books. tell the lazy **** to get a job.

[Minotaur]

first off ur 5'5 and 217 pounds and skinny fat, second off, an 18 yr old is notentitiled to a car, and parents do not have to provide food, shelter, or school books. tell the lazy **** to get a job.

OK, when you don't have anything to say, make a personal attack. Back to teh Misc for you, youngster.

[kimsquit]

first off ur 5'5 and 217 pounds and skinny fat, second off, an 18 yr old is notentitiled to a car, and parents do not have to provide food, shelter, or school books. tell the lazy **** to get a job.


thanks for the neg cause im an 18 yr old telling u the truth. u need to wok on ur grammer brah and not insult teenagers who tell you how it is.

wow strong irony

[ntrllftr]

wow strong irony

Make that 2 bowls of stupid!!!! LOLZZZZZ

[kimsquit]

Make that 2 bowls of stupid!!!!

Stupid: brought to you by the makers of Redneck! Now with EXTRA Denseness!!

[OutOfStep]

first off ur 5'5 and 217 pounds and skinny fat

Lol and you're 6'2" and 180 lb. Strong prison camp refugee stats.

[Minotaur]

Regardless of what he did or didn't do, as a parent you don't abrogate your responsibility on a 17 year old.

[Stonecoldtruth]

I found out that my stepdaughter's boyfriend was just kicked out his house by his parents. She's 15, he's not yet 18. His parents took away the car, and wouldn't let him take his school books. As far as I know, he didn't do anything to warrant it. He's a good student, doesn't get into trouble. I was told his parents are "just weird".

Personally I think a well-placed call to DYFS (NJ Division of Youth and Family Services) since he's underage, is in order. I think once the school finds out the parents kept the school books...

I just don't understand people.

Are you going to let him stay with you guys until this gets resolved? In a separate bed of course..

[sickonstorm]

Lol and you're 6'2" and 180 lb. Strong prison camp refugee stats.

im also 18 breh and compete in the 181s and u can gain weight u vant gain height

[Minotaur]

Are you going to let him stay with you guys until this gets resolved? In a separate bed of course..

He goes to school too far away. They are a good 45 - 50 miles. Otherwise, yes he would be able to stay with us. He's been nothing but polite, respectful and extremely helpful around the house. He likes doing house repairs and maintenance. I'm suggesting a youth center or hostel.

[sickonstorm]

Lol and you're 6'2" and 180 lb. Strong prison camp refugee stats.

were not hearing the whole side of the story. i doubt his parents just kicked him out for nothing. im 18, and even i think that parents dont owe u a car, or food, or w/e. u get a job and u get it urself. if ur parents want to take the car they paid for away, or the school books they bought u away so be it. they have all rights to do that.

[Minotaur]

im also 18 breh and compete in the 181s and u can gain weight u vant gain height

Much Language Arts failure? I'd also suggest getting your vision checked (much fapping?) if you think that avatar is "skinny fat".

Teh Misc is calling you.

[ntrllftr]

im also 18 breh and compete in the 181s and u can gain weight u vant gain height

haven't you heard of height enhancing shoes? pfft

[Minotaur]

were not hearing the whole side of the story. i doubt his parents just kicked him out for nothing. im 18, and even i think that parents dont owe u a car, or food, or w/e. u get a job and u get it urself. if ur parents want to take the car they paid for away, or the school books they bought u away so be it. they have all rights to do that.

You're 18. You don't need to hear anything except that you can't read.

He's 17. He goes to a public high school. They provide the books.

Much comprehension problems?

[kimsquit]

Regardless of what he did or didn't do, as a parent you don't abrogate your responsibility on a 17 year old.

I was thrown out at 17 and I now have two teenage sons: one 16 and one 17 so I like to think that I have some relevant experience here.

would I abrogate my responsibility to them? no

but my answer is based on my relationship with them and I cannot apply the dynamics of my personal relationship as a value judgement against the personal relationship of some parent/teen family that I don't personally know.

How did they get him out the door if he didn't want to leave? Did the police carry him outside and then drive away? Did his parents physically throw him out?

Or was it more along the lines of an ultimatum from one side or the other and much to everyone's surprise, a bluff was called?

I have no idea and neither do you, so without knowing the details of the situation, I'm just not prepared to share your position and we'll have to agree to disagree

[OutOfStep]

im also 18 breh and compete in the 181s and u can gain weight u vant gain height

Towel boy? Well, you've certainly got the build for it.

[kimm4]

I can't imagine a parent throwing their child out for no reason...

Maybe they're upset because he's dating a 15 yr old...

[Minotaur]

Well, I know I would leave if my parents threatened to call the police. Bluff or no bluff. They have the upper hand. And I know that if I were a parent, it would have to be a pretty egregious offense to kick a 17 year old out of the house. If it were that bad, then yes I'd call the police. But evidently it wasn't that bad.

[gbg]

Where's the love people???

[jsmircich]

I found out that my stepdaughter's boyfriend was just kicked out his house by his parents. She's 15, he's not yet 18. His parents took away the car, and wouldn't let him take his school books. As far as I know, he didn't do anything to warrant it. He's a good student, doesn't get into trouble. I was told his parents are "just weird".

Personally I think a well-placed call to DYFS (NJ Division of Youth and Family Services) since he's underage, is in order. I think once the school finds out the parents kept the school books...

I just don't understand people.

I have to file on families quite frequently, sometimes even knowing the child is not telling the truth (MA has a mandated reporter law for those of us in education and human services for the elderly and children). The entire purpose of filing a report with your state agency is so that if there is abuse/neglect etc. it can be stopped. If your DYFS doesn't find enough evidence to support abuse/neglect they will not open a case. The worse thing that happens is an investigator contacts the family and finds no reason move forward or they will provide services to the family. Children are not always removed from the home when a report is filed. The state just doesn't have the money to place that many kids. No matter what happened, the boy is only 17 (I know, I know he's almost an adult. regardless his parents are still responsible for his safety and well being until he is 18.) If you don't make the call, on Monday the school probably will when they learn of the situation.

[Minotaur]

I can't imagine a parent throwing their child out for no reason...

Maybe they're upset because he's dating a 15 yr old...

That's one of the reasons. But there's no illegality unless they cross state lines, which they know they can't do. I've even given them the warning about that.