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  1. #1
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    Question for guys who have been cheated on

    So here's a question for guys that have been cheated on. Was the girl that cheated a whore and you kinda knew she was like that beforehand, or have you ever had a girl that was really nice and sweet that you trusted 100% and then BAM she is sleeping with some dude?

    Or like have you ever been 100% blindsided by it and been cheated on by someone who you thought would never cheat?
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  2. #2
    Registered User irishjackmp's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by scrum View Post
    So here's a question for guys that have been cheated on. Was the girl that cheated a whore and you kinda knew she was like that beforehand, or have you ever had a girl that was really nice and sweet that you trusted 100% and then BAM she is sleeping with some dude?

    Or like have you ever been 100% blindsided by it and been cheated on by someone who you thought would never cheat?
    There are only two times I am absolutely certain I have been cheated on (although I am sure there are more)...

    If you had to rank all of my previous GF's in my life (and I've had a lot... I'm 37) I would say the two I actually caught cheating were the "nicest, sweetest, good girl" types out of all of them. In fact I would have said before hand it would have been an impossibility that either of them would even think of cheating. I wouldn't have even ranked them "least likely" to cheat of all my GF's... I thought it was simply not possible they were capable of it.

    So what happens? One cheats... admits it to me... then wants "credit" for being "honest" and can't figure out why I kicked her to the curb. As for the other... I pulled up to the front of her house to see her on her front step kissing her last boyfriend... 6 hours after I bought her an engagement ring (hadn't given it to her yet)

    It taught me two valuable rules about women...

    Rule 1... Any woman is capable of cheating... any woman.


    Rule 2... If you even get cheated on and feel emotions such as "stunned", "blindsided" and "dumbfounded" after finding out a GF has cheated, go back and remind yourself of Rule 1 more often.

    You can't predict beforehand if a woman will cheat... don't even try. It might happen, it might not... but don't ever think "she's a good girl... she would NEVER do that..."

    Damn... I know I sound bitter... but it's the truth.
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  3. #3
    Unregistered User IVEverLow's Avatar
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    Both. First one I thought was loyal as a pitbull. 4 years later... wham! Second one I knew was a whore. Couple months later... oh.. yeah I know. I'm having a kid with the second one.
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  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by scrum View Post
    So here's a question for guys that have been cheated on. Was the girl that cheated a whore and you kinda knew she was like that beforehand, or have you ever had a girl that was really nice and sweet that you trusted 100% and then BAM she is sleeping with some dude?

    Or like have you ever been 100% blindsided by it and been cheated on by someone who you thought would never cheat?
    There were red flags from the get go, but I am a good person so I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt that they can either change or improve themselves as an individual. Everyone else saw it, and I saw it, but I just had hoped. She did cheat on me, but I wasn't that upset because I guess I expected it. So, I think if you are ever to get cheated on, it'd be hopefully by someone you suspect. The worst must come from someone you'd have never seen it coming from.
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  5. #5
    Registered User mmj12345's Avatar
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    I've heard before that the girls that are always going crazy worrying about YOU cheating on them are actually the ones more likely to cheat.

    That deemed true in my situation. She didn't seem like a slut or anything at all and there really weren't any warning signs. After 3 years I found out she had been fcking around with some other guy for 6 months. I should have broken up with her when I left for college lol.

    Oh well, that's all over with and I'm extremely happy with my current GF
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  6. #6
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    Originally Posted by irishjackmp View Post
    There are only two times I am absolutely certain I have been cheated on (although I am sure there are more)...

    If you had to rank all of my previous GF's in my life (and I've had a lot... I'm 37) I would say the two I actually caught cheating were the "nicest, sweetest, good girl" types out of all of them. In fact I would have said before hand it would have been an impossibility that either of them would even think of cheating. I wouldn't have even ranked them "least likely" to cheat of all my GF's... I thought it was simply not possible they were capable of it.

    So what happens? One cheats... admits it to me... then wants "credit" for being "honest" and can't figure out why I kicked her to the curb. As for the other... I pulled up to the front of her house to see her on her front step kissing her last boyfriend... 6 hours after I bought her an engagement ring (hadn't given it to her yet)

    It taught me two valuable rules about women...

    Rule 1... Any woman is capable of cheating... any woman.


    Rule 2... If you even get cheated on and feel emotions such as "stunned", "blindsided" and "dumbfounded" after finding out a GF has cheated, go back and remind yourself of Rule 1 more often.

    You can't predict beforehand if a woman will cheat... don't even try. It might happen, it might not... but don't ever think "she's a good girl... she would NEVER do that..."

    Damn... I know I sound bitter... but it's the truth.
    That is what we people like to call "THE TRUTH" he is absolutely right any woman is capable of cheating. Will all of them cheat? Of course not, but they are always capable of doing it. YOu can usually see the warning signs a mile away but you choose to ignore them b/c you dont want to seem "insecure"

    My ex never came home twice. I should have broke up with her the first time but I being dumb. I found out once we broke up. I also found out the mother of my daughter had slept with one of my really close friends when we was dating years ago.
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    Registered User ALPHAMALE419's Avatar
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    wait a sec, a friend slept with your baby's mama?.....thats no friend and u shouldve kicked his ass......its amazing how violence can make u feel much better about yourself lol
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  8. #8
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    Originally Posted by ALPHAMALE419 View Post
    wait a sec, a friend slept with your baby's mama?.....thats no friend and u shouldve kicked his ass......its amazing how violence can make u feel much better about yourself lol
    Yeah they had sex while me and her was together but I didnt find out until years later. It was kinda funny how I found it out it was on accident. BY the time I found out, I had quit hanging out w/ him(I wonder why he did) and I was far over her that I just started laughing about it
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    youre a good man.....i still wouldve kicked his ass just to let him know where i stood....thats your babys mama for heavens sake
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  10. #10
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    Originally Posted by ALPHAMALE419 View Post
    youre a good man.....i still wouldve kicked his ass just to let him know where i stood....thats your babys mama for heavens sake
    She aint worth it. Shes dumb and I know I will always have that pussy on lock. I made her even tell her BF once when he was getting all jealous about her talking to me about something, that if I wanted her then she would drop him for me.
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  11. #11
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    Originally Posted by mmj12345 View Post
    I've heard before that the girls that are always going crazy worrying about YOU cheating on them are actually the ones more likely to cheat. That deemed true in my situation.
    Same here. She was the sweet type. She was all over me. Like when I broke up with her, a ton of people just said, "why? she was all over you." Both guys and girls. And with a good friend too.

    Oh well, hit the guy, wrote him out of my life, been good so far. Kept on dating for a while because she guilt tripped me and other tricks. Dumped her later when I realized how miserable she was making me.
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    lets b real....shes trash to sleep with your buddy...i wouldnt want her either...the sad thing is shes your daughters mom...i know in my case,i always would want to think of my childs mom as being this "perfect"wholesome girl,even if that may not b ..the funny thing about the ass kicking advice is, my bro once asked me doesnt it feel good to just kick someones ass u had it in for?.....i thought about it (trying to b mature)but my answer was YES lol
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    Originally Posted by scrum View Post
    So here's a question for guys that have been cheated on. Was the girl that cheated a whore and you kinda knew she was like that beforehand, or have you ever had a girl that was really nice and sweet that you trusted 100% and then BAM she is sleeping with some dude?

    Or like have you ever been 100% blindsided by it and been cheated on by someone who you thought would never cheat?
    The only way to come up from these kind of situations is as soon as possible find a hottie so that you don't get the oneities and understand that she wasn't right and unique for you.
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    The woman that cheated on me was just nuts.

    She was one of those women desperate for marriage. She was divorced because her husband left her for another woman, and she felt that she was nothing because she wasn't married.
    We did not get along very well because she had a really big mouth, she was paranoid, she was constantly jumping to conclusions and overreacting to everything, not to mention she wasn't that bright.
    There was no way I could see myself marrying her.
    So one day, her ex called her up saying if she came to see him he would marry her, so she jumped on a plane and off she went.
    He of course was lying and just wanted to **** her again, so he did and put her dumbass back on the plane.
    End of our relationship.


    People cheat because they are unhappy. I don't think it's fair to call a woman a whore just because she decides she wants or needs more than her currently relationship is offering her.
    Of course the mature thing to do would be to end the relationship before moving on, but most people are afraid of hurting the person they are with by telling them the truth.

    Men do the same thing.
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    Originally Posted by scrum View Post
    Or like have you ever been 100% blindsided by it and been cheated on by someone who you thought would never cheat?
    This, at least in my experience.
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    Originally Posted by scrum View Post
    So here's a question for guys that have been cheated on. Was the girl that cheated a whore and you kinda knew she was like that beforehand, or have you ever had a girl that was really nice and sweet that you trusted 100% and then BAM she is sleeping with some dude?

    Or like have you ever been 100% blindsided by it and been cheated on by someone who you thought would never cheat?
    Bolded text. Usually you'll get the "vibes". I guess I sorta' "knew" before I actually knew. I just didn't care at the time, because I was in such a drought sexually, and this girl could rock the house at any given moment. Which is why I slept with her after I found out she cheated on me. I'm not proud of it, but at the time that's what I needed to do to get by.
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    blindsided


    in the end i guess its for the best. its amazing how much stronger and wiser it makes you.
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    Originally Posted by Pool_Shark View Post

    People cheat because they are unhappy. I don't think it's fair to call a woman a whore just because she decides she wants or needs more than her currently relationship is offering her.
    Of course the mature thing to do would be to end the relationship before moving on, but most people are afraid of hurting the person they are with by telling them the truth.

    Men do the same thing.
    I so much agree. I have done my fair share of cheating, it feels good to pull of such a stunt at that time, but at hindsight, I felt very very very bad.

    That said, I was never cheated at, not that I know of. But I have girls break up with me, and I have a feeling they are checking out other guys or want someone else. Those were the days when my self esteem got so low... I felt I wasnt worth it.
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    Registered User Nasty1's Avatar
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    The one that got me was the furthest thing ever from a whore.

    She slept with her ex before me for about 3 months while we were dating and I had no idea.


    No signs or anything. Actually she broke down and told me and that was the only way I even knew/found out. Oddly we are now great friends now and can openly tlak about it.
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    Sweet, innocent, amazing girl that I would have never ever guessed, cheated on me. She changed into a total slut after we broke up. I caught up with her a year later and I barely recognized her personality. We were together for 2 years, I popped her cherry too... blood and all.

    Anyone can cheat and learn to lie about it like a pro.
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    Originally Posted by DJ-DuvalFLA View Post
    That is what we people like to call "THE TRUTH" he is absolutely right any woman is capable of cheating. Will all of them cheat? Of course not, but they are always capable of doing it. YOu can usually see the warning signs a mile away but you choose to ignore them b/c you dont want to seem "insecure"

    My ex never came home twice. I should have broke up with her the first time but I being dumb. I found out once we broke up. I also found out the mother of my daughter had slept with one of my really close friends when we was dating years ago.
    Yeah, a lot of girls do give the warning signs that they will cheat and most guys ignore them, always stating that 'my girl would never do that'. I dated a few that really gave off these warning signs and I dumped all of them before I got too involved with them:

    Kellie - started going out to clubs with her best girlfriend, who cheated on her boyfriend. I pissed Kellie off, so she called her cheating friend up and went to a club. Next day, she said she grinded on a few guys and another guy she knew was there and he grabbed her ass. She wanted me to get jealous. Instead, she got dumped.

    Katey - she claimed she was a good girl but also loved to go out with her slutty best-friend. One time, I called her when she was out and she never called back---I even sent a text for her to call me. Keep in mind, she ALWAYS responded to my texts. She never replied so I just stopped calling or texting her. ONE WEEK later, she finally contacted me and wondered why I didn't call her back, etc. and why I've been ignoring her for a week. I told her I called her and she played dumb. Then I told her she knows what I'm talking about and told her that we were through. I haven't heard from her since and she deleted her myspace. She was phenomenal in bed though and I remember those times fondly.

    I don't know for sure if these girls really did anything, but I broke up with them anyway because those are huge red flags that could only lead to disaster, and I found their behavior to be too disrespectful.
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    Been cheated on. Knew it would happen. I mean, we met because he was cheating. Once a cheater always a cheater.
    "There is a destiny that makes us brothers. None goes his way alone. All that we send into the lives of others comes back into our own." - Edwin Markham

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    Originally Posted by caramon View Post
    Yeah, a lot of girls do give the warning signs that they will cheat and most guys ignore them, always stating that 'my girl would never do that'. I dated a few that really gave off these warning signs and I dumped all of them before I got too involved with them:

    Kellie - started going out to clubs with her best girlfriend, who cheated on her boyfriend. I pissed Kellie off, so she called her cheating friend up and went to a club. Next day, she said she grinded on a few guys and another guy she knew was there and he grabbed her ass. She wanted me to get jealous. Instead, she got dumped.

    Katey - she claimed she was a good girl but also loved to go out with her slutty best-friend. One time, I called her when she was out and she never called back---I even sent a text for her to call me. Keep in mind, she ALWAYS responded to my texts. She never replied so I just stopped calling or texting her. ONE WEEK later, she finally contacted me and wondered why I didn't call her back, etc. and why I've been ignoring her for a week. I told her I called her and she played dumb. Then I told her she knows what I'm talking about and told her that we were through. I haven't heard from her since and she deleted her myspace. She was phenomenal in bed though and I remember those times fondly.

    I don't know for sure if these girls really did anything, but I broke up with them anyway because those are huge red flags that could only lead to disaster, and I found their behavior to be too disrespectful.
    HAHA bro thats awesome. Those are major red flags, not only red flags but disrespectful as hell. It just shows they are only going to do more disrespectful things to come. That one girl didnt call you for a week? WTF lol shes dumb as hell. I would have played her game and when she called I would have acted like I never even know her. "Katey Who?"
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    but that's how i roll tonymar's Avatar
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    This thread brings up some good points though... I mean... there's a fine line between being an understanding "non-possessive" guy, and being disrespected or cheated on. Where do we draw this line?

    I guess the lesson here is figure out what your idea of respect means and if the girl breaks it then she's gone. Only problem is, what if you really love the girl. I mean people aren't perfect either so what do you accept and what don't you? It's great to say "if she disrespects me then she's gone" but nobody can do that and expect to have any type of decent relationship with a woman in the long run.

    Tough call on this stuff...
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    Originally Posted by DJ-DuvalFLA View Post
    HAHA bro thats awesome. Those are major red flags, not only red flags but disrespectful as hell. It just shows they are only going to do more disrespectful things to come. That one girl didnt call you for a week? WTF lol shes dumb as hell. I would have played her game and when she called I would have acted like I never even know her. "Katey Who?"
    I agree. If someone is already acting that bad at the beginning when everything is supposedly good, imagine when things get really bad---what's next? Yeah, she didn't call me for a week and then when she did, she blamed me for ignoring her even though I was the one who called and texted her last. I just assumed she was up to no good.

    Yeah, I should've acted like I didn't know her. Or instead of saying 'Katey', I should've said some other girl's name. "Amy?"

    Well, it's Katey's problem. She was 31 then and looking for someone to marry. I doubt she'll find someone with that attitude.



    Originally Posted by tonymar View Post
    This thread brings up some good points though... I mean... there's a fine line between being an understanding "non-possessive" guy, and being disrespected or cheated on. Where do we draw this line?

    I guess the lesson here is figure out what your idea of respect means and if the girl breaks it then she's gone. Only problem is, what if you really love the girl. I mean people aren't perfect either so what do you accept and what don't you? It's great to say "if she disrespects me then she's gone" but nobody can do that and expect to have any type of decent relationship with a woman in the long run.

    Tough call on this stuff...
    Possessive is controlling. When I'm with a girl and she wants to do something, then I let her. If she does something bad, I'll tell her my opinion about it and let her decide if she still wants to do it. If she cares about what I think of her, she'll refrain from doing it. Now I don't make a big deal out of small things and I don't recommend any of you do. However, if she starts doing suspicious things, then I start being more cautious. I don't dictate where she should go and what she should do, but as soon as she starts to wander into the 'disrespectful' zone, I'll let her know that I won't be around to tolerate that.

    Some women immediately fire back with the "you're controlling!" line. I just swat that aside and say, "OK, I'm so controlling, that I'm going to be single from now on. Do whatever you want. Have fun!" When I say this statement, I mean it; I don't bluff. If I feel that I'm compromising my happiness and my dignity, I will just cut the line from there and swallow my losses and move on. Some women will cut the BS and some won't.
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    Originally Posted by caramon View Post
    I agree. If someone is already acting that bad at the beginning when everything is supposedly good, imagine when things get really bad---what's next? Yeah, she didn't call me for a week and then when she did, she blamed me for ignoring her even though I was the one who called and texted her last. I just assumed she was up to no good.

    Yeah, I should've acted like I didn't know her. Or instead of saying 'Katey', I should've said some other girl's name. "Amy?"

    Well, it's Katey's problem. She was 31 then and looking for someone to marry. I doubt she'll find someone with that attitude.





    Possessive is controlling. When I'm with a girl and she wants to do something, then I let her. If she does something bad, I'll tell her my opinion about it and let her decide if she still wants to do it. If she cares about what I think of her, she'll refrain from doing it. Now I don't make a big deal out of small things and I don't recommend any of you do. However, if she starts doing suspicious things, then I start being more cautious. I don't dictate where she should go and what she should do, but as soon as she starts to wander into the 'disrespectful' zone, I'll let her know that I won't be around to tolerate that.

    Some women immediately fire back with the "you're controlling!" line. I just swat that aside and say, "OK, I'm so controlling, that I'm going to be single from now on. Do whatever you want. Have fun!" When I say this statement, I mean it; I don't bluff. If I feel that I'm compromising my happiness and my dignity, I will just cut the line from there and swallow my losses and move on. Some women will cut the BS and some won't.
    Good advice, youre always good at women caramon majere!
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    Originally Posted by caramon View Post
    I agree. If someone is already acting that bad at the beginning when everything is supposedly good, imagine when things get really bad---what's next? Yeah, she didn't call me for a week and then when she did, she blamed me for ignoring her even though I was the one who called and texted her last. I just assumed she was up to no good.

    Yeah, I should've acted like I didn't know her. Or instead of saying 'Katey', I should've said some other girl's name. "Amy?"

    Well, it's Katey's problem. She was 31 then and looking for someone to marry. I doubt she'll find someone with that attitude.
    What is up with older women thinking we are dumb? I had a relationship with an 29 year old once, then one night when I was spending the night over there, one of her co-workers came over and she went out to his car to talk to him, she was out there for like 45 mins talking to him outside his car. I got fed up, took my keys and left and never talked to her since.
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    Originally Posted by ChristmasFnatic View Post
    Good advice, youre always good at women caramon majere!
    Thanks! But not always. I made loads of mistakes too and still do from time to time --- but they've been decreasing more and more. Dragonlance reader?

    Originally Posted by DJ-DuvalFLA View Post
    What is up with older women thinking we are dumb? I had a relationship with an 29 year old once, then one night when I was spending the night over there, one of her co-workers came over and she went out to his car to talk to him, she was out there for like 45 mins talking to him outside his car. I got fed up, took my keys and left and never talked to her since.
    How old were you then? Man, that girl must've had no conscience or she just didn't care about you.. Still, I couldn't imagine pulling that on some girl I was just using for sex.

    I've been with a lot of older women. Some treated me well, but some tried to pull whatever they wanted on me.
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    Originally Posted by caramon View Post
    Yeah, a lot of girls do give the warning signs that they will cheat and most guys ignore them, always stating that 'my girl would never do that'. I dated a few that really gave off these warning signs and I dumped all of them before I got too involved with them:

    Kellie - started going out to clubs with her best girlfriend, who cheated on her boyfriend. I pissed Kellie off, so she called her cheating friend up and went to a club. Next day, she said she grinded on a few guys and another guy she knew was there and he grabbed her ass. She wanted me to get jealous. Instead, she got dumped.

    Katey - she claimed she was a good girl but also loved to go out with her slutty best-friend. One time, I called her when she was out and she never called back---I even sent a text for her to call me. Keep in mind, she ALWAYS responded to my texts. She never replied so I just stopped calling or texting her. ONE WEEK later, she finally contacted me and wondered why I didn't call her back, etc. and why I've been ignoring her for a week. I told her I called her and she played dumb. Then I told her she knows what I'm talking about and told her that we were through. I haven't heard from her since and she deleted her myspace. She was phenomenal in bed though and I remember those times fondly.

    I don't know for sure if these girls really did anything, but I broke up with them anyway because those are huge red flags that could only lead to disaster, and I found their behavior to be too disrespectful.

    It's examples like this that keep reminding me why you are one of my favorite posters on the misc.
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