Most obvious come-on that was missed..

[zac2booya]

I've got a pretty good one. Here goes. This took place when I was 16.

So, it was like 9:00 PM on Christmas Eve. I'm working at a department store and yes, unfortunately, we had to work on Christmas Eve.

Anyway, I'm outside getting the last shopping carts out of the parking lot and bringing them in the store before we close. After I get them all together, I bring them all inside. As I do, the final customer is leaving with a cart full of stuff. She's probably mid 40's and pretty attractive. So I followed her out so I could take her cart inside after she gets everything loaded up.

So I walk over to her van and help her load everything in to her van. When she opens the door, her whole van is filled with presents. This lady apparently went nuts buying presents for Christmas. Anyway, as I'm helping her load her stuff into her van, I comment "You must've been busy shopping today."

"Yeah, well, my husband and I are divorced. He lives across the country and he's got the kids, so I'm all alone on Christmas Eve."

To which I respond, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah" she says, "So I'm going to go home and drink some wine. So, what are your plans for tonight?" Then she looks at me and smiles, obviously hinting at something.

I answer, "Well, I'm going home after work."

We finally load everything up and she shuts the door. She looks at me again and smiles, then I start to walk away and tell her "Have a Merry Christmas!." Then I walk away.

[suave9]

I was 17 and in college. This hot petite 20-year old chick was in my study group. I pretty much knew she liked me and I liked her, and I was intent on figuring out a way to bang her somehow. Holy **** I was horny. Last day of class I finally got the guts to ask her out to this semi-formal cocktail party (boss never cared that I was an underage intern).

ME: "So I got this company cocktail party thing going on, but don't have a date. Would you like to come?"
HER: "I'd love to! Though promise me that you won't try any smooth tricks to seduce me *laughs*"
ME: LOL. I promise. We can do something fun after if you want to.
HER: "SURE!"

After the party (we had a hell of a good time):

ME: "So you want to do something else tonight?"
HER: "I don't know. Can you come with me to my place and we'll see if my roommate is doing anything?"

We walk into her place:

ME: "So where's your roommate? Are we doing anything else tonight or not?"
HER: "I don't know. She's not here. Oh well I guess."
ME: "That sucks. Well, hopefully we can do something else sometimes."
HER: "You can stay here a while longer and I'm sure we can think of something."
ME: "Nah, it's getting late. Let me get your number (I didn't have it) and I'll give you a call sometime."

I walked away thinking of how much of a player I was for getting the phone number of this girl. Needless to say, she never returned my phone calls.

P.S. I blame all this PUA bull**** for this. I was intent on going to "first base," "second base" etc before hitting the home run. To reach those bases, I needed to get her number first I thought. Fukin fail. Fuk this thrad, I'm going to hit the gym.

ROFL

sorry dude, but i had to sig that last part.

[Jhendi82]

I have two that I can think of...the first I was 18 in my first year of college. I was in my statistics class and this girl behind me took her shoe off and was playing with my bum. She did this for about an hour and used both feet. Once class was over I got up and had a raging hard on. I turn around and she's licking her lips. At this time I had only been with one girl. I froze up and ran out of class.

Second situation I was in my first quarter of graduate, went to the local bar with my boys. We met some girls and went back to my boys place. Were talking about politics and me being a Democrat. This girl said in front of everyone, "I would suck off any die hard democrats penor". Shes sitting next to me saying this, and I realize I need to eat another meal..I was such a tool back then. Don't let bbing ruin your action.

Recently had a coworker grab my junk in the office but she's married and 50. So I'm gonna pass on that.

[suave9]

iight.. i've read every single one.

This is pretty epic. Epic thread deserves epic subscriptions.

I can go over hundreds maybe even thousands of times where I passed up anything I wanted.

Let's see

Well.. there was the girl whose room I was in right. We were at her house and we were just chilling in her room watching television and bs'n. I go something like "alright, i'm bored, i'm leaving"....

...She beats me to the door right. Slams the door shut, and just stares into my eyes. I think to myself "ok" and go "what you want?".

lol so... she goes on to throw one of her legs up against the wall and gets it about to shoulder height WITH TIGHT PANTS ON ( cell-tech strength wtf? ).................I grab her ass as tight and hard as i could right......

and throw her on the bed....open the door.... and I leave...





moving on now...


This one would be astonishingly long to write so i'll get right to the dumb*ss ending... Telling friend of mine about this amazingly hot chick I had met at a local sports bar and how she's single and how those two just don't go together. I keep on and on until he goes "dude, girls like that don't stay single long, better go for it."

Point taken and skipping ahead to where were talking..

Me- I just broke up with my gf last sunday
her- I don't even know you
Me- *something real sweet and smooth* which i don't remember
her- *pauses to think* "i don't even know you" this time saying it slower
Me- (I calmly look away for a second to figure out a way to get by this not knowing you thing... I look back at her ) "well...*pause*... I wanna get to know you, is there something wrong with that?"
her- *LONG PAUSE* ...I just started a relationship

Now me being the complete utter F'n moron that I am take this the exact opposite of the way she meant it. I think to myself... GREAT, I'M TOO LATE SOMEBODY ALREADY BEAT ME TO HER..

Me- "ok (insert name).. bye"
Her- "..ByE?? (insert complete total wtf in the world tone into bye )




*sigh*... Thankfully I've done a lot of catching up on what i've missed out on.

I'll post more later.

[Pharos]

Went to 7-11 to get a slurpee, and as I was paying the cashier said "aren't you pharos"? I said yes, and then she goes on about how she had a crush on me in high school. I took my change and left.

[ShangTsung]

For all of high school, I wanted pussy. Bad. Really bad. I was a complete introvert though. Even still, I had PLENTY of opportunities that to this day (and I'm sure until I die) haunt me to no end. It's not so bad now that I'm getting laid on a (semi) regular basis, but to say that I was completely oblivious at the time would be the nice way of putting it. Just thinking about them brings a physical pain to my chest. It's already been discussed in this thread. It hurts. Literally.

--------------

10th grade -

I was new to this school. I knew no one. No one knew how nerdy I was. I could have had a fresh start, but no. I just didn't care to change. I was "ok" with being sexually frustrated.

I'm there for a few weeks and I still don't know anyone. So I start to cut class (something that would eventually get me kicked out of the school). As I'm walking out, I get approached by this SMOKING HOT (I can remember every feature even though it was almost 6 years ago) black & latina girl stops me to talk. Yeah. Of all people, she stops me. After a few minutes, she realizes it's not talking. It's her asking me questions and me answering with "yes" and "no". She looked disappointed. She tries to initiate conversation with me everyday for a few weeks until....

I'm standing there talking to my friend and she comes up. They start talking. I'm just lingering off on the side, not knowing how to keep myself in the conversation. The guy says something, then I see her look at me and she says "Oh him? I'm pretty sure he doesn't like girls."

I got kicked out the next day and never saw her again. Talking to the guy friend on ******** recently, according to him, she would have gave up the panties no questions asked. Turns out she was a bit of a hoe. But one I still would have fu*ked had I knew what I was doing at the time.

---------------------------

10th grade a new school -

I'm not too impressed with this new place. The old school was mainly white girls, and I luv me some white girls that are built like they black (strong black man). I immediately regret skipping but it's too late. Again, I don't talk to anyone and spend my out of class time reading EGM and Skateboarding Magazine. Girls and dudes would come up to talk to me, but I would give them short answers and go back to reading. Stupid.

In the last class of my schedule, there was this one chick named Chelsea. She wasn't anything spectacular. Short, white, cute, but most importantly; she was a redhead. To this day, I luv me some redheads (again, strong black man). She is right on the side of me, so we make eye contact in short burst. Of course I go back to my EGM (needed to see wassup with that new system called the "Xbox"!). She sends me a note. It's a typically girl note with all the xoxo and all that ****. She starts asking me questions and like always, this is when I **** it up. For some reason, I use these notes to tell her how sh!tty my life is and how I don't have any friends at that school. I give her the death note back, she reads it, gives me a WTF look, and sends me another note with the words "I'll be your friend...possibly more than that if you're up for it" How did I respond? "No. I don't want your pity."

I masturbated to her a lot.

-------------------------

There were plenty more situations like that in high school where those came from. After I graduated, I convinced myself that things would change (this was when I found out about inner game and all the PUA stuff). And it kind of did. I went into my first year of college knowing the social norm and how **** works, but I still sucked.

In speech class there was another latina chick. FU*KING PORNO BODY! I fapped so many times to her it wasn't even funny. But my speech class was filled to the brim with hotties, and she wasn't my focus. I'm so focused on the other chick that I was trying to get with (I really wanted her to take my vcard for some reason), that I was completely ignoring the hot latina chick that was checking me out.

One day, I'm walking uphill from class. I hear a somewhat familiar voice after a tap on the shoulder. It's the latina chick. She's smoking hot, but so was the weather that day. My mind was out of it. Today, in my right mind, I know that when girls come up to you to talk, the sh!t is on. But even though I was suppose to be aware (I thought I was), I wasn't.

Her - "So...do you have a girlfriend?"
Me - "No. Why?"
Her - "I dunno....just askin'"
Me - "Cool. Look, I gotta go. The new expansion pack to Warcraft 3 is out. It has new maps and a redesigned battle.net system. I might switch to Undead since I play Human, but they getting nerfed."
Her - "WTF LOOK"

It wasn't until later in the day when I realized how much a tard I was. I later found out that she would have been up for ANYTHING if I would have given her the chance.

I want to kill myself whenever I think of these situations. Having no game whatsoever, and STILL getting put in these situations to get laid, and STILL fu*king them up. Sigh....

I'm still at that school, but I haven't seen her around since that class ended. I swear to god if I see her again, I will redeem myself.

[user654415165]

YOu know I how I know your gay?

[BlackDragon28]

That's pretty much the worst thing I've ever heard.

I bet it was a trap by ur gf lol

[BuildUpNow]

I have a topic I think may give us a laugh.

What is the most obvious come-on that a chick has told you, but that you didn't get at the time?

I'll go first..

This one is wild... but a good one...

I was 16 at the time and a major virgin back then, my mothers boyfriend, at the time, his hot daughter would stay over some nights and she was 20. One night I was watching TV in the living room alone laying down.

She gets out of the shower and grabs the remote and changes the channel. I say "Hey WTF!?" She goes, "I wanna watch TV." I said, "Let me get the remote." She put the remote in her shorts (she didn't wear any panties) and she says "Come get it." I say "Ugh, fine keep it."

Another night I'm laying in my bed playing a video game. She comes in and says, "It's nice and cool in here..." After a while she lays on top of me and starts a humping motion and she starts playfully moaning and I say "Come on, get off of me" *sigh* It gets WORSE....

Another night her and I are in the room alone again. She's playing with a baseball bat I had. She grabs it and starts jerking it in front of me giggling. I laugh a bit and then she turns it side ways and acts like shes sucking my dick. I said "Come on put the bat down".. LMAO I know I know, I should be shot for saying that.

ANOTHER night and the worst of them. I was laying in my room and she was staying in the room next to me. I would hear her playing with her pussy. I could hear moaning and heavy breathing coming from her room. So like 2 days later we're talking and she says "I'm gonna go to sleep." I say "Sure you are," and she looks at me with a smile and a wink. I just stood there speechless like a clueless 16 year old...




Who else has some funny ones?

was this all the same chick?????

damn......5 times???



damn....

[NorthMass]

Her - "So...do you have a girlfriend?"
Me - "No. Why?"
Her - "I dunno....just askin'"
Me - "Cool. Look, I gotta go. The new expansion pack to Warcraft 3 is out. It has new maps and a redesigned battle.net system. I might switch to Undead since I play Human, but they getting nerfed."
Her - "WTF LOOK"

i lol'd IRL

[moodymikey]

When i was about 14 there was a girl I liked from school who was the same age as me. We use to talk all the time, flirt a lot and just generally get on really well. There was a lot of sexual tension there but i was always too nervous to do anything about it. Well it got to the point where we had been talking for so long that we just became good friends instead, the sexual tension stage seemed to be over. She announced one day that we had "become best friends" and that was what we were stuck with, which kinda sucked to me.

Anyway, about a week after she announced we were best friends we were having a discussion about how scared we would be when we lost our virginity. She said to me "i think the first time i have sex i want it to be with someone im really close to, just so if its lame they wont laugh at me. I really would want it to be with a best friend or somebody like that."

I just said that i agreed with her, then i gave her a hug and went home to watch TV. Epic fail

[rf0t0]

I have a topic I think may give us a laugh.

What is the most obvious come-on that a chick has told you, but that you didn't get at the time?

I'll go first..

This one is wild... but a good one...

I was 16 at the time and a major virgin back then, my mothers boyfriend, at the time, his hot daughter would stay over some nights and she was 20. One night I was watching TV in the living room alone laying down.

She gets out of the shower and grabs the remote and changes the channel. I say "Hey WTF!?" She goes, "I wanna watch TV." I said, "Let me get the remote." She put the remote in her shorts (she didn't wear any panties) and she says "Come get it." I say "Ugh, fine keep it."

Another night I'm laying in my bed playing a video game. She comes in and says, "It's nice and cool in here..." After a while she lays on top of me and starts a humping motion and she starts playfully moaning and I say "Come on, get off of me" *sigh* It gets WORSE....

Another night her and I are in the room alone again. She's playing with a baseball bat I had. She grabs it and starts jerking it in front of me giggling. I laugh a bit and then she turns it side ways and acts like shes sucking my dick. I said "Come on put the bat down".. LMAO I know I know, I should be shot for saying that.

ANOTHER night and the worst of them. I was laying in my room and she was staying in the room next to me. I would hear her playing with her pussy. I could hear moaning and heavy breathing coming from her room. So like 2 days later we're talking and she says "I'm gonna go to sleep." I say "Sure you are," and she looks at me with a smile and a wink. I just stood there speechless like a clueless 16 year old...




Who else has some funny ones?

sorry but you're a ***got bro...

[Polish_Sausage]

I swear to god if I see her again, I will redeem myself.

ur hart can rest till then

[kamis]

i tend to have issues realizing that a girl is coming on to me. my most recent was last week actually and im 21.


girl i used to go to school with just came home from college. shes always been super hot and ive always thought she was crazy sexy. i see her at a bar/club and we start talking. she starts telling me how different i look, grabbing my arms and squeezing my ass when she would walk by. towards the end of the night we dance and she's grinding her ass all over me. after the dance she says she just got an apartment nearby and asked me if i want to see it. i declined thinking that she was genuinely interested in showing me how nice her apartment was. she left. i realized what just happened and drank myself into oblivion. i haven't seen her since.

[SimplyTheBest]

i tend to have issues realizing that a girl is coming on to me. my most recent was last week actually and im 21.


girl i used to go to school with just came home from college. shes always been super hot and ive always thought she was crazy sexy. i see her at a bar/club and we start talking. she starts telling me how different i look, grabbing my arms and squeezing my ass when she would walk by. towards the end of the night we dance and she's grinding her ass all over me. after the dance she says she just got an apartment nearby and asked me if i want to see it. i declined thinking that she was genuinely interested in showing me how nice her apartment was. she left. i realized what just happened and drank myself into oblivion. i haven't seen her since.

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

[Polish_Sausage]

i tend to have issues realizing that a girl is coming on to me. my most recent was last week actually and im 21.


girl i used to go to school with just came home from college. shes always been super hot and ive always thought she was crazy sexy. i see her at a bar/club and we start talking. she starts telling me how different i look, grabbing my arms and squeezing my ass when she would walk by. towards the end of the night we dance and she's grinding her ass all over me. after the dance she says she just got an apartment nearby and asked me if i want to see it. i declined thinking that she was genuinely interested in showing me how nice her apartment was. she left. i realized what just happened and drank myself into oblivion. i haven't seen her since.

w.t.f. maaaaaaaan?
edit: womaaaaaaaan :O

[KillahPriest]

i actually feel embarassed reading this thread

[Bobs of FL]

hm this was awhile ago, like when i was 12 and this girl was 15. This girl texted me and was like hey i just saw you outside, i was like yeah i live across the street you retard you see me all the time ( i was sorta just joking ). And then she was like so my parents arent home and my brother is out. And i texted back saying "Cool u wannna come outside and play tag?" lololol i was such a dumbass

hahahahahh wow hahahhah you have me cracking up over here man lol

[Roke]

I was 17 and in college. This hot petite 20-year old chick was in my study group. I pretty much knew she liked me and I liked her, and I was intent on figuring out a way to bang her somehow. Holy **** I was horny. Last day of class I finally got the guts to ask her out to this semi-formal cocktail party (boss never cared that I was an underage intern).

ME: "So I got this company cocktail party thing going on, but don't have a date. Would you like to come?"
HER: "I'd love to! Though promise me that you won't try any smooth tricks to seduce me *laughs*"
ME: LOL. I promise. We can do something fun after if you want to.
HER: "SURE!"

After the party (we had a hell of a good time):

ME: "So you want to do something else tonight?"
HER: "I don't know. Can you come with me to my place and we'll see if my roommate is doing anything?"

We walk into her place:

ME: "So where's your roommate? Are we doing anything else tonight or not?"
HER: "I don't know. She's not here. Oh well I guess."
ME: "That sucks. Well, hopefully we can do something else sometimes."
HER: "You can stay here a while longer and I'm sure we can think of something."
ME: "Nah, it's getting late. Let me get your number (I didn't have it) and I'll give you a call sometime."

I walked away thinking of how much of a player I was for getting the phone number of this girl. Needless to say, she never returned my phone calls.

P.S. I blame all this PUA bull**** for this. I was intent on going to "first base," "second base" etc before hitting the home run. To reach those bases, I needed to get her number first I thought. Fukin fail. Fuk this thrad, I'm going to hit the gym.

Owwww, owwww.

[Rich241]

so I lent this girl some money for lunch.
Me: So when are you going to pay me back?
Her: Can I pay you back with somthing other then money?
Me: No I want cash not change.
Me: 3 seconds later in my mind Duh.

[jack3d_brah9]

5 star thread
would read over and over again
sorry i dont have anything to contribute

[SaviorSix]

having a girl on my couch in nothing but lingerie who said "you know you're not going to **** me tonight" and me believing her

[gobstpr]

having a girl on my couch in nothing but lingerie who said "you know you're not going to **** me tonight" and me believing her

ROFL ROFL

[battousai216]

Only decent one that I have so far is the classic "haven't I seen you somewhere before?" line...

I stopped walking and mumbled something to her along the lines of "no.. I don't think I remember you"


Then I ran to catch up with my buds

They still make fun of me for that from time to time

wait...that happend to me today, are you saying that there was something to it

[icewill36]

ive got one... damn i think about how i screwed this up all the time, cause she was pretty hot EPIC FAIL on my part

anyway... i had started to this chick on ******** that goes to the same school as me. so we get to know each other some and after a couple days we were chatting about sex and she asked me what do i like a woman to do. i said i like it when im alone with a chick and she acts kind of like she doesn't want me to **** her, but knowing full well she can't wait for me to rip her clothes off and bang her hard....

so fast forward a few more days and i get a text from at like 1 am. it was out of the blue and i wasn't expecting any kind of action that night, in fact i was about to go to bed. she said she was at a friends house who lived in the same apartment complex as me and wanted to know could she come over. so of course i said yes, and even though i was sleepy i got kind of pumped to finally have this chick alone.

so she comes over like an hour later, we are just sitting on my bed talking for a little bit.... yadda yadda.... i start to rub her back...then i suggest she take her shirt off so i could give her a better massage. she does... i massage her back some more, then i flip her over and start to kiss her. then i move lower, and lower, and when i got down to her jeans, she was like NOOO, NOOO, we can't do that, but i keep on and they are off, and i start licking her pussy... she had a beautiful plump muff even though she was skinny...so after i taste that sweet pussy for awhile, i take my pants off (had on b-ball shorts on under them) and move up and lay next to her... she says, "what are you doing ? you're not sticking anything in me!"

so right then, i just stopped trying to go further, and i actually fell asleep soon after. she kind of woke me up with a nudge like an hour or two later and said she had better go. i walked her back to her friends apartment and she never came over again she soon officially got back together with her ex-boyfriend.

i didn't remember until like WEEKS later that i had told her that i like when a chick acts like she doesnt want it!!!

it was so utterly stupid looking back... how could i not have realized that ? i guess i was too sleepy, but still... MAJOR FAIL.

whats worse is i had told her how i am pretty good in bed all women seem to cum easily. she probably thinks i'm a complete lame in the sack now. i ate her pussy then fell asleep, what kind of **** is that ?

i didn't even get to show her my cock in person (though she did see it in a photo before)

what i wouldnt give for another chance to show her what i'm capable of in the sack

here is a pic from that night i took as she was taking off her shirt.

http://www.zshare.net/image/18445325472a5962/

cimg0817.jpg - 0.68MB

[Scarface2883]

^^^She missing an arm, bro?

[icewill36]

^^^She missing an arm, bro?

lol nah man, the other arm is in front pulling the shirt off.

[deadfingers]

I have one, happened this year in fact but in all honesty I didn't pass up on it I just never found out in time. Well there is this one girl I used to work with, I was interested in her but never made a move on her because I figured she was married. Well she wasn't, and one day she looked me up on myspace and on a Saturday night sent me a drunken message pretty much telling me she wanted to see me, BADLY, and put a "serious" at the end of it. Well I didn't read this till nearly Sunday night, and even then I had no clue who it was.

I guess the bad part about all of this, is that I dated her and I usually ended up going to her room everytime and I usually sat on her bed while she sat at her desk and we just talked about random ****. She was pretty good looking at the time too. *facepalm* oh well live and learn.

[Dude.Jon]

One time my sisters friend got so drunk she came into my room while i was on the comp and flashed me while i was babysitting this kid right next to me. It was so fking awkward i flashed a look but looked annoyed. I should have groped and smacked on them but I was a stupid adolescent (15).

Oh freshman year i had no balls and this hot hot chick 8.5/10 gets in line behind and and "accidentally bumps me, i ignore her then she FELLS MY ASS like for a few seconds. I couldn't believe i didnt do anything, still can't. I was such a pussy back then.

[JCAZ2010]

I ****ing hate you guys I wish I would have had these oppurtunities. I mean I can understand if you're like under 13 or something but I'm ****ing jealous of the rest of you haha.