Most obvious come-on that was missed..

[Shaun1990]

This one was only a week or so ago. I was in a club with a few guys I know. This girl who knows one of the guys came over and started talking to us (well, trying to - music in clubs is pretty loud!). She introduced herself to me and we started dancing together - grinding and all that ****e. Then, after a few songs, she tells me she's going outside for some fresh air and looks at me. I say fine, I'll see you back here. (Duh! She obviously wanted for us to go outside so we could have a proper chat.) Then she walks away but cannot get past this large group which is right beside us, so she turns round and looks at me; her eyes were hinting that she wanted me to come outside with her. She goes a different way and I don't see her for the rest of the night.

[TheBig_J]

about 8 months ago i was told that this girl wanted me by my friend. later that week some of my other buddies said that she was def gonna hook up with me when we hung out. So one night me, my friend and his girlfriend, and this girl hung out at her house. soon enough my friend and his girlfriend disappear into another room and leave me and her alone watching Beerfest. For some reason, idk why but I didn't make a move.... I realized what a huge **** up i was and im'ed her telling her that next time it would def happen. Too bad it was such a huge epic fail that we never hung out again................

[SamsoniteP]

another....

I was 18 at a high class bar..this smoking hot waitress was a legit 9/10..

anyways she was carding people left and right and I just sat there at the bar.(and I looked like I was 16)...anyways she saw me there before eating at the restraunt....and she served me....lol...

and then we it got crowded I moved to the other side at a table...and she came over to get me more stuff..

she then asked how long I was here etc...and I said I am staying at this hotel(I was in college so I was lying) then she goes I have never been there but would like to check it out..

well I just left after and failed

[someguy2000]

I've got a pretty good one. Here goes. This took place when I was 16.

So, it was like 9:00 PM on Christmas Eve. I'm working at a department store and yes, unfortunately, we had to work on Christmas Eve.

Anyway, I'm outside getting the last shopping carts out of the parking lot and bringing them in the store before we close. After I get them all together, I bring them all inside. As I do, the final customer is leaving with a cart full of stuff. She's probably mid 40's and pretty attractive. So I followed her out so I could take her cart inside after she gets everything loaded up.

So I walk over to her van and help her load everything in to her van. When she opens the door, her whole van is filled with presents. This lady apparently went nuts buying presents for Christmas. Anyway, as I'm helping her load her stuff into her van, I comment "You must've been busy shopping today."

"Yeah, well, my husband and I are divorced. He lives across the country and he's got the kids, so I'm all alone on Christmas Eve."

To which I respond, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah" she says, "So I'm going to go home and drink some wine. So, what are your plans for tonight?" Then she looks at me and smiles, obviously hinting at something.

I answer, "Well, I'm going home after work."

We finally load everything up and she shuts the door. She looks at me again and smiles, then I start to walk away and tell her "Have a Merry Christmas!." Then I walk away.

Im sorry but she was just asking idiot.

[ohthekai]

My night school class a couple of years ago. This freakin' bomb of a chick had tried to initiate conversation several times before, even had a friend TELL me she liked me. Then came the most dumbass, shaming thing I have ever done. She kept calling my name, so I turned around. She winks at me and blows a flying kiss. AND I ****ing don't know what the hell I was thinking (I was socially retarded at the time) and blurt, "Yeah, I think you've had too much coffee there," pointing to the coffee she had on her desk. lol wat! Good job dave man.

[MasterJedi]

This thread f.cking delivers!

[ForceFedTrauma]

i actually feel physical pain when i read these. i love it.

[Razor Beast]

You ever have a friend tell you that a girl said she wants you to talk to her sometime? Well that happened to me. This chick was pretty hot too but being that I was 16 and stupid with girls I never ended up going to talk to her. Kinda had the feeling he was bs'in me even though he never lied to me before haha. I was never in any of her classes but I knew who she was so it's a fail but not epic, to this day I have no idea if anything ever could've come out of it. I guess if she was really interested she would've approached me.

[slowteg]

My night school class a couple of years ago. This freakin' bomb of a chick had tried to initiate conversation several times before, even had a friend TELL me she liked me. Then came the most dumbass, shaming thing I have ever done. She kept calling my name, so I turned around. She winks at me and blows a flying kiss. AND I ****ing don't know what the hell I was thinking (I was socially retarded at the time) and blurt, "Yeah, I think you've had too much coffee there," pointing to the coffee she had on her desk. lol wat! Good job dave man.

lulz


that sucks

[wimpking]

I was out this weekend, had a blast chatting up a couple of chicks, one had triple d implants.. I kept telling her to makem bounce, and she'd be like bouncy bouncy bouncy.. excellent! anyways, I drank too much and they drove me out to my car... the triple d girl wanted to check out my car, she basically sprawled herself in my car and lifted up her skirt.. I'd been playing it kinda cool and I was drunk, tired as hell, and my mouth was like a brewery so I pretended like I was gonna make out with her and went sike! She did grab my phone and punch in her digits though, so win overall.

[tonymar]

I guess if she was really interested she would've approached me.

I sense another failure coming soon...

[Omnomtuna]

Some of these stories make me cringe, I no longer feel like such a failure

[lukeridnour08]

damn i think mine are worse then everyones...

#1

her " man, im really horny. and there is noone home so today im going to be all alone"

me " oh realy, do what i do when im horny and masturbate"

her " are you doing anything today?"

me " yeah i got to go home early to babysit"

her " what time do you have to be home, can you be a little bit late"

me " what for? , besides my parents are going to get pissed if im home late, i got to go or ill miss the buss"



#2

2 years ago when i was a sophmore in school I used to always wear shirts over my (out of my?) pants. One day, I tucked it in and this girl told me: I like the way you wear your shirt. At least now we can see what you got!
*Wink*


#3

On the phone
(Her)- Are you a virgin
(Me)- Well no, well kinda, well ya i guess
(Her)- haha Oo. Well i can change that for you
(Me)- wierd



#4
This ones before ive ever done anything past makeout with a girl, and probably the best.


So im at this all county highschool dance start of sophmore or some ****. I start dancing with some slut ive never seen before. Things get heated on the dance floor ya know. She asks me to go to her car with her so she can get something from her purse. Were holding hands and **** all the way out to her car, then she opens the back seat door and tells me to get in.

Im thinking "wtf?, why does she want me to get in her car?"
I just laugh it off like shes joking or something.
She gets a little awkward, fiddles around her purse and we walk back to where the dance was at.

We start dancing again, and things get hott again. I makeout with her, shes rubbing my c0ck, (first time a girls rubbed my cock), she says i cant wait till this dance gets over so we can chill yadayadayada.

Then right as she says that i get this feeling in my pit.

Its a mc**** from mcdonalds.

I tell her i'll be back in 5 minutes.

I come back and one of my friends is making out with her on the dance floor.
They end up ****ing that night.

[lukeridnour08]

theres more to

#5

Im a sophmore with my best friend and we went to florida where his sister lives with her dad for spring break. So anyways, were at a party down in florida some hot chick(a friend of my buddies sister) comes up to me and whispers in my ear take me to bed or lose me forever--uh i laughed and she looked at me and walked away Uhhhh OMG im retarded


#6

This ones just funny how slutty girls are. I didnt really mind this one much because by then i was getting plenty of ass.

anyways-

This was Just this summer. I went to a party in a town 30 minutes away my friend moved to. he invited up to this girls house for a small party. I get there and of course i'm drunk.(I swear this night was like the easy shot i had of getting laid) and this girl and i were talking and i'm telling her how pretty she is and shes like "i'm not that pretty but your not that bad yourself." i replied "you really find me that attractive?" shes goes o yeah, but hold a minute i gotta go to the bathroom. she comes back bra and panties sits on my lap and is like "wanna go?" I replied "seriously? cause i dont got a condom." She simply walked away and ****ed this other guy that night.(its was like sex night at this girls house)

#7

This is the last one i can think of

So 2 weekends ago im at a college taking a recruiting trip. One of the players is showing me around. This player gets a phone call and is like "ya, its just me and darnell(me), he might come here next year and play ball. Im just showing him around." Then these 2 hott ass college girls come up. and start walking with us.

These girls are legit 9.5's btw, there on the volleyball team actually.

Anyway, So now its me, the player whos showing me around, and these 2 hott ass girls just walking around campus. The player is really smooth talking and he is just setting me up for perfect lines to get these girls. Im nailing these lines and the girls are loving it. He keeps giving me high fives and **** when these girls arnt looking. Things are going great and this my self-esteem is rolling very high.

Anyways, this tour gets over, and now i have to meet back with the coach. The player who was giving me the tour says the girls wanna hangout later this nght and for me to call him as soon as i get the chance. I am spending the night with this other recruit who is kinda a ***got (he got toured by another player) in the dorms.

The player who toured me txts me and says he just got some liquor and these 2 girls wanna hangout and thier down tof uck.

Alright so i get done with all my **** with the coach, go back to room my room, take a shower, and get my cellphone ready to call the dude so we can rail these dudes.

Well, my cells out of batteries and my fuking dumbass roomate confesses that he was listening to music on it then it just ran out.

Needless to say, i couldnt get a hold of him and i didnt **** one of those girls.

[ELMOstl]

^^worse than o.p.

there was a high school dance and this girl maybe. 7.5/10 was hittin on me all night , and trying to dance with me. I did not think anything of it. I was shy and did not want to dance wit her.

Anyways my buddy ends up dancing with her and then as we are walkin away from the dance he tells her. i like your dress. and she goes "thanks , it matches my thong"

and at that moment im like "doh!" she was hittin one me first.


anyways fast forward the night , my buddy fukcs her , then we go to a party and shes tehre , she fukcs another dude , then she came out and was all over me again , rubbin her titties on me (no shirt) in front of everyone , but by that time i realized she was a whore and decided not to do anything

so...slight fail. i really wanted to get laid back then.

[Razor Beast]

I sense another failure coming soon...

I said I was 16 when that happened. It was like 3 years ago I have way more confidence than I did back then.

[MA5Bergey]

LOL, I just had one today. Not as bad as some I've seen in here, but I felt like I had to post it.

Hot chick, 8.5/10, is walking toward me on the sidewalk, I look at her and happen to catch her literally eye****ing me (her eyes started at my chest, went down, then went back up to my face). We made eye contact, she gave me this ridiculously seductive smile and basically, that's where I failed to make my move. I failed lol.

[tonymar]

damn i think mine are worse then everyones...

#1

her " man, im really horny. and there is noone home so today im going to be all alone"

me " oh realy, do what i do when im horny and masturbate"

her " are you doing anything today?"

me " yeah i got to go home early to babysit"

her " what time do you have to be home, can you be a little bit late"

me " what for? , besides my parents are going to get pissed if im home late, i got to go or ill miss the buss"



#2

2 years ago when i was a sophmore in school I used to always wear shirts over my (out of my?) pants. One day, I tucked it in and this girl told me: I like the way you wear your shirt. At least now we can see what you got!
*Wink*


#3

On the phone
(Her)- Are you a virgin
(Me)- Well no, well kinda, well ya i guess
(Her)- haha Oo. Well i can change that for you
(Me)- wierd



#4
This ones before ive ever done anything past makeout with a girl, and probably the best.


So im at this all county highschool dance start of sophmore or some ****. I start dancing with some slut ive never seen before. Things get heated on the dance floor ya know. She asks me to go to her car with her so she can get something from her purse. Were holding hands and **** all the way out to her car, then she opens the back seat door and tells me to get in.

Im thinking "wtf?, why does she want me to get in her car?"
I just laugh it off like shes joking or something.
She gets a little awkward, fiddles around her purse and we walk back to where the dance was at.

We start dancing again, and things get hott again. I makeout with her, shes rubbing my c0ck, (first time a girls rubbed my cock), she says i cant wait till this dance gets over so we can chill yadayadayada.

Then right as she says that i get this feeling in my pit.

Its a mc**** from mcdonalds.

I tell her i'll be back in 5 minutes.

I come back and one of my friends is making out with her on the dance floor.
They end up ****ing that night.

The failure is strong with you.

[slowteg]

theres more to

#5

Im a sophmore with my best friend and we went to florida where his sister lives with her dad for spring break. So anyways, were at a party down in florida some hot chick(a friend of my buddies sister) comes up to me and whispers in my ear take me to bed or lose me forever--uh i laughed and she looked at me and walked away Uhhhh OMG im retarded


#6

This ones just funny how slutty girls are. I didnt really mind this one much because by then i was getting plenty of ass.

anyways-

This was Just this summer. I went to a party in a town 30 minutes away my friend moved to. he invited up to this girls house for a small party. I get there and of course i'm drunk.(I swear this night was like the easy shot i had of getting laid) and this girl and i were talking and i'm telling her how pretty she is and shes like "i'm not that pretty but your not that bad yourself." i replied "you really find me that attractive?" shes goes o yeah, but hold a minute i gotta go to the bathroom. she comes back bra and panties sits on my lap and is like "wanna go?" I replied "seriously? cause i dont got a condom." She simply walked away and ****ed this other guy that night.(its was like sex night at this girls house)

#7

This is the last one i can think of

So 2 weekends ago im at a college taking a recruiting trip. One of the players is showing me around. This player gets a phone call and is like "ya, its just me and darnell(me), he might come here next year and play ball. Im just showing him around." Then these 2 hott ass college girls come up. and start walking with us.

These girls are legit 9.5's btw, there on the volleyball team actually.

Anyway, So now its me, the player whos showing me around, and these 2 hott ass girls just walking around campus. The player is really smooth talking and he is just setting me up for perfect lines to get these girls. Im nailing these lines and the girls are loving it. He keeps giving me high fives and **** when these girls arnt looking. Things are going great and this my self-esteem is rolling very high.

Anyways, this tour gets over, and now i have to meet back with the coach. The player who was giving me the tour says the girls wanna hangout later this nght and for me to call him as soon as i get the chance. I am spending the night with this other recruit who is kinda a ***got (he got toured by another player) in the dorms.

The player who toured me txts me and says he just got some liquor and these 2 girls wanna hangout and thier down tof uck.

Alright so i get done with all my **** with the coach, go back to room my room, take a shower, and get my cellphone ready to call the dude so we can rail these dudes.

Well, my cells out of batteries and my fuking dumbass roomate confesses that he was listening to music on it then it just ran out.

Needless to say, i couldnt get a hold of him and i didnt **** one of those girls.

damn son. thats pretty bad.

[SpiderSense]

P.S. I blame all this PUA bull**** for this. I was intent on going to "first base," "second base" etc before hitting the home run. To reach those bases, I needed to get her number first I thought.

Um you still did need to do all of that.

You think she's just gonna take her clothes off and you go straight to ****ing?

You a virgin bro?

[the man-beast]

I haven't had this happen to me until recently. I use to work at walmart and almost every day I would go to buffaloe wild wings for for dinner break and now that I think about it maybe I could have gotten with 1-2 of the waitresses. This one time this waitress started a convo with me and than said after work she and her friend were gonna go to walmart to pick up some wine and maybe she would see me there. I think I basically just said oh and ordered ate and paid for my food than left.

There was also this one time when I went with 2 friends and I was the only one to get a free drink but that just may have been a mistake.

There was also this other waitress who would always give my drinks to me without having to ask with a refill for free. She also would say hey to me whenever she saw me and sometimes we talked and she would also pat my back to get my attention sometime. Also one time she waited on me when I wasn't in her area she was waiting. She could have done these things to get better tips but I alway tipped the same $2-$2.50 so I don't think it was that. I could be wrong though considering I am 22 and still a virgin.

[DangerDan]

[CaptainGorgeous]

Good to see i'm not the only failure at life.

When i was 16 i went to this girls birthday party, it was pretty cool, i barely knew the girl but she was really hot. so were chilling at her house, and her parents are out of town. She has a bf, but eventually he leaves, and so does everyone else. my parents were supposed to pick me up, but they were late getting there. so its just me and her, and somehow i end up in her room, when all of a sudden she forces me on top of her bed, and jumps on top of me. She then says "lets have dirty sex". I was scared. I had never even kissed a girl. Keep in mind this girl was a solid 9. I didnt know what to do. I thought having sex out of wedlock meant you went to hell. Then all of a sudden, i pulled out a snail which i had in my pocket that i had found outside and showed it to her. i was like, omg look theres a snail eww! this caused her to jump off the bed, allowing me to escape. i went downstairs and waited in the bathroom for 15min, and then my parents came, and i went and jumped in the car. the girl switched schools and i dont think i ever saw her again, but this was the biggest pussy moment in my entire life and i will never forget it. i wish i could neg myself =(

Repped. This made me lol for a good 10-15 minutes.

[bill_jnr]

Repped. This made me lol for a good 10-15 minutes.

x2


who the **** has a snail in their pocket. hilarious

[infinate]

few years ago this chick was like what are you doing tommorrow (sat) night, i was like nothing no plans yet, shes like me either and my dumbass response to that "o that sucks, hope you find something" i think back to that and give a lil homer-like DOH!

Lol if that is a signal then i have done that at least 50 times

[MtnJax]

Lol if that is a signal then i have done that at least 50 times

Yea I had that one happen a couple of weeks ago and didn't think anything of it til i saw that post. Kicked myself for that one.

[Mikeo]

I was 18 and at a club with the usual group of guys and girls. For different reasons everyone had to go home one by one before the night ended. It ended up with just me and this reasonably hot girl left. We got chatting and dancing and drinking.

After about half an hour she said: "Do you know what day it is?", I said "No, what?". She said it was national Have a Steak and Blowjob day. (Where she cooks a steak for you and you eat it while she gives you a blowjob under the table).

I said "oh cool". She then showed me a condom that she had in her purse and winked at me. Still, I didn't see that she was flirtng with me. I gave her a hug and went home!

WHAT A DUM ****ER I AM!

[DoubtErased]

I was 18 and at a club with the usual group of guys and girls. For different reasons everyone had to go home one by one before the night ended. It ended up with just me and this reasonably hot girl left. We got chatting and dancing and drinking.

After about half an hour she said: "Do you know what day it is?", I said "No, what?". She said it was national Have a Steak and Blowjob day. (Where she cooks a steak for you and you eat it while she gives you a blowjob under the table).

I said "oh cool". She then showed me a condom that she had in her purse and winked at me. Still, I didn't see that she was flirtng with me. I gave her a hug and went home!

WHAT A DUM ****ER I AM!

Shoot yourself

[chicago]

I was 18 and at a club with the usual group of guys and girls. For different reasons everyone had to go home one by one before the night ended. It ended up with just me and this reasonably hot girl left. We got chatting and dancing and drinking.

After about half an hour she said: "Do you know what day it is?", I said "No, what?". She said it was national Have a Steak and Blowjob day. (Where she cooks a steak for you and you eat it while she gives you a blowjob under the table).

I said "oh cool". She then showed me a condom that she had in her purse and winked at me. Still, I didn't see that she was flirtng with me. I gave her a hug and went home!

WHAT A DUM ****ER I AM!

yes. shoot yourself.

[CrazyLazyHorse]

I have an aggressive personality so I'm not the one to back down.

But one time this girl did like me and try to flirt with me, but I saw that as a sign of being annoying so I pegged her in the head with a dodge ball during gym class.

I got in school suspension and had to apologize to her.

The funny thing is that was in middle school and she goes to my high school now and she has gym class with me 3rd period.

LMAO