I lied to my wife. sad one.

[camaleom]

u did the right thing!

prayers for u and your wife!

[BuildKing]

I also hope only the best for you and your family , I have a question tho , since there are so many spots already and late stage were there not any signs before so it could be prognosed early and also did your wife not go on yearly medical check ups?

[tdh]

My prayers are with you, your wife, and family.
God Bless

[GreenWave1]

You walk a very difficult path. Peace to you and your wife. I will remember you in my prayers.

[DatsunKing1]

Sorry to hear that. she'll be in my prayers

enjoy vacation!

best of luck,
DK1

[mikieson]

You're the guy who chose to stay home while she works, right? Just want to be sure I'm clear on this. So she has a job that doesn't offer health insurance...and you've chosen not to try to find a job that does. Jesus, you have to be a troll. Just tell me you're a troll and I'll feel better, OK?

Right now staying at home and being here for my kids is more important than money or having lots of things. Thats the way "WE" are living right now. If its not right for you , thats great.

DO NOT hyjack this guys thread and QUIT harassing me and trolling my threads. I will report you if it keep up.

[IronCamp]

So sorry to hear about your wife. I understand why you did what you did...I hope you both are able to enjoy your vacation.

[Valkinator]

some of you know that she has stage 4 cancer. she just finished a round of chemo in mid-july. the doc wanted to take a break before switching to another chemo. the start of the new chemo would depend on the tumors and if they are growing.

she has had many CT scans, but recently the doc wanted a PET scan. Well, you cannot compare the 2. A CT is a bunch of slices that you look at and mostly look for what is there and then make estimates. PET is a 3D image, it's pretty exact.

Tuesday, the results came back. He wasn't happy, but didn't say anything. He just indicated that we needed a blood test to look for CEA. I forget what that is, but normal is 5. Above 5, means you "probably" have cancer, or if you already have cancer, any reading higher than your previous "probably" means your cancer is growing.

Well, the PET showed big tumors. He didn't say it. But I figured it out. I asked him over the phone today if that was why he was unhappy. I guessed that he was hoping that the tumors were just bigger than he thought, the worse possibility is that they are growing.

The previous CEA was 21 (down from 32, and 37 before that and a reading of much higher from before that). This reading was 40.4, almost double. That confirms the bad news. the tumors are growing.

Well, we are going on vacation tomorrow. I consulted with my sister, one of our best friends, and a guy who's wife died form cancer last month. I decided to lie. I told her there was a foul up and they didn't have the results yet. they would call when they got them.

She knows I lied, but I am sticking to it. Any doubt in her mind is good. I just want her to enjoy the vacation and not think about it. I have to tell her friday night, next week, when we get home.

I've never lied to her before (well, except when I buy things - which are usually for her)

TDetoit, you did the right thing. I lost my wife to the same thing after 28 years of marriage in Sept. of 2006. She was stage IV, and I had no idea what that meant. I just kept hoping one of the treatments would make her better. She seemed to be hanging in there, then the last two days she just looked so bad. I found out later that she knew; the Doctors told her she only had days, but she didn;t tell me. I didn't see it coming. I still kick myself for not seeing that and trying to make the last few months of her life more enjoyable. So "BRAVO" to you for what you are doing. My prayers are with you.

[Nota]

That's a pretty sad story, I can't imagine myself in a predicament like that, it really brings out the true love that you have for your spouse. I know my wife and I sometimes argue about money or get suspicious about another lover, but a predicament like yours never came into our life, I never thought about that. Something like that would definitely give me a change of heart.

[JonnyStead]

TDetroit - I'm so sorry to hear about your wife - this must be unbearable for you. Personally I think you did the right thing giving her the opportunity to enjoy her holiday. My mother died at 50 from cancer and it was clear from the biopsy (brain) that it was inoperable. We told her she would be OK (because the Biop left her mute and paralysed) and treatment would sort it. We wanted her last few weeks of consciousness to be full hope - I stand by that.

I wish you and the wife the very best of luck

[OnTheRoad]

I sincerely hope and pray your wife enjoys her holiday......

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Sluggeaux]

I'm a firm believer that the truth is almost ALWAYS the best policy. However, when you find yourself the rare situation where the truth can do absolutely no good at all, and in fact can only make things worse such as the situation you have sadly found yourself in, then there is no evil at all in witholding it.

In this particular case, the only thing telling your wife the truth would accomplish is increasing her anxiety, depression, and especially with cancer those 2 things only speed up the process, not to mention dampen the spirit of the time you 2 have togehter.

IMHO, do your best to enjoy your vacation with your family, and create the best memories you can to hold on to later.

[MagnumXL]

You two are still in my mind and in my prayers. Will try to lift you up often.

[TuffGirl]

You did the right thing. My prayers are with you and your family. Peace to all of you.

[chrisbute]

I also did not know about this. Cherish your time together. Your wife will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[WizardGlick]

First off, my heart and prayers go out to you. My wife and I had our own scare earlier this year, but thankfully she's fine. But i'm so sorry you're all going through this.

Next, I know technically it was a lie but it wasn't to hurt so I wouldn't consider it wrong. You're doing the right thing. You know it's not the truth and you're protecting her. Obviously you're a great husband who loves his wife dearly. God bless you for that.

[slave2beingFit]

That's not a lie, that's Love. God bless you both.
Joe

You did the right thing!

Enjoy and treasure that vacation, take many, many pics of your wife with the kids and with you! Don't be shy about asking strangers to snap that family pic for you, lots and lots of family pics.

I would also like to suggest, when you return from vacation, you have a real family portrait taken. My dad was a very wise man. He knew, I am sure she knew, but we have a wonderful family portrait. I am only 2 sitting on my dad's knee, but I have treasured that photo with my mother my entire life.
It is unlike any other possession I have, it is what I would grab on my way out of the burning house......... My dad, my mom and the four young daughters. Priceless!

God Bless and many prayers being sent to your family.